Ancient history (1904)

   Annette Jones

Try getting a Proof-Reader and give writing a go again

Perhaps a little constructive criticism would be more appropriate here. Timothy it would help you develop more as a writer if you found someone to proof-read what you write before you publish for readers. Good luck.
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   Cat Foot

Last soldier standing

The plot is not bad and he tells the story in an interesting way but the English is - I'm trying to find a softer word but the only one that comes to mind is "atrocious". And then he uses the same cliches and phrases over and over.That being said, I read the story from the beginning to the end and I'm one of those who can discard a book very easily if it does not grab me quickly. If he can he can master the English language and produce more plots like this, he may just develop into a good writer.
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Last soldier standing

Whilst the story itself is quite good, it reads like a bad translation into English. Incorrect tenses, incorrect words that are totally wrong for the sentence. Not an enjoyable read. It's as though it was translated by Google and not proof read by someone fluent in English
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   Gail McLeod

I, too, was dismayed by the abomination of the English language , spelling and grammar were published without editing. The content was riveting and interesting but this publication was marred by the desecration of proper English.
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   Terry Jackson

Gratuitous Juvenile Sex scenes including a ridiculous Naked Orgy in an FBI lab are just a part of the pitiful lack of any redeeming features of this book. The spelling is atrocious with every page containing errors. The writer tries to use impressive words and ends up with an entirely different word perhaps caused by a spell check. Even the description has 2. "Intentional" instead of "International" and "felicitate" instead of "facilitate". The spelling is stupid to say the least or just plain lazy if the author cannot even read his own story. Examples are: scrap for scrape, noise for nose, allies for alias, riffle for rifle, remanning for remaining, bellowed for billowed, accrue for occurs, accrued for occurred, eluted for eluded, boos for boose, decrypted for decrepit, madden for maiden, personally for personality, dramatize(d) for traumatized, should for shoulder, emanate for imminent, stool for stood, clasped for gasped, spit for split, triad for tried, straggled for strangled, vainer for vernier, ducted for ducked, straggled for strangled, artery for artillery. The list goes on and on. Some phrases defy interpretation: "Strong winds tried to ABSTAIN our advancement", and "VINDICATION lingered in our hearts", He constantly uses you for your and vice versa and your instead of you're meaning "you are". He constantly uses apostrophe S for plural words.Other annoying aspects are the spelling of the character names changes from page to page , Agent Paterson is many time Peterson, another character is Vargas and then in the next paragraph he is Verge. The irrelevant marital status of female characters changes from Miss to Mrs and back at random. The teenage fantasy of the writer is obvious with all the young female characters being blond and big breasted with the breast size description increasing with each one. There seems to be a need to repeat the character names in full nearly every time but it reaches a peak when we are introduced to "Mr Dobbs". Then for paragraph after paragraph Mr Dobbs did this Mr Dobbs was that on and on for countless times. Besides the spelling, the writer does not seem to be able to use the singular "woman" instead it is always the plural "women" (A women did this, one women was, etc). Assassin seems to be the writers favourite word. Every killing, and there are many, is carried out by one Assassin or another. No simple killer or murderer in this story. And then the other characters all suffer unsuspected instead of unexpected tears. Very emotional for hardened FBI, Police and Terrorists.The are errors in the time line of the story. While set in 1984 (40 years after D Day) reference is made to EuroDisney which did not open till 1992. There is also mention of there being a "Full Screen TV" on a train something which would not have been thought of in 1984. The narrative switches from 1st Person of the "Terrorist" to 3rd person of other action. While this is not normally a problem the 1st person dialogue continues AFTER the character is killed!This is without doubt the worst thing I have ever read. The one redeeming factor was that while the errors were annoying it became a challenge to see just how many there were and what could possibly be the correct word or meaning. So in all less of a mystery story more of a challenging game of "guess what is should be".Unless the writer can get a better education or software that can pick up his errors with being overloaded he should give up writing and take up finger painting.
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