CHAPTER 55
MARRIAGE CUSTOMS IN BUSOGA
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These were as follows:— nice the parents and relatives of a son saw that their son had become of age they began looking around for a suitable girl for him to marry. They were very careful in their selection and took their time over it. They examined at great length the manners and behaviour of all the girls whom they considered. All this was done in secrecy. On the other hand, if they spotted a girl from a respectable home, they immediately approached her parents and made their intentions known. The parents of the daughter then discussed the matter between themselves and if they were agreed on it, they accepted the advances made by the son’s parents. On being accepted, the latter’s parents brought special arm-lace and put them on the arms of the daughter to mark the beginning of the engagement. Old men could also engage young girls in the same way.
The parents of the daughter could ask for a bride-price immediately after the engagement was declared, if they wished. Even if the girl was still very young, after the payment of the bride-price, she was taken and looked after by the parents of her future husband. The girl and boy were kept very strictly; they were not allowed to mate prematurely. The girl was regarded as daughter by the mother of her son. But as soon as the two people were considered of age, the son was allowed to build a house and was given his own lusuku and allowed to take his wife.
In the case of children who were old enough, the parents of the boy looked around for a suitable girl. On seeing one, they negotiated with her parents secretly. Then a day was arranged for the father of the son to go and pay a special visit to the girl’s parents; the boy went with him so that he could see, or be seen by the girl and her parents. The girl was never told the purpose of the visit but her brother, if she had one, was kept inforned. On the arrival of the visitors, the girl was sent to greet them or to serve them with water, so that she could be seen.
After she had been seen, the father asked his son whether he liked her for a wife; but, as a matter of course, none of the children could refuse their parents’ selection. In this setting, therefore, the boy’s answer was positive. The girl was also asked whether she accepted the boy and she invariably answered ‘yes’. This was how the two people were introduced to each other.
After the introduction, the father of the boy bargained for the bride-price. The father of the girl first demanded a goat from the boy as a token of love. When this was brought, a day was then agreed upon when the brideprice would be decided upon. On this day the father and his son were accompanied by brothers, friends and, one or two wives. They would meet an equivalent group in the home of the gir1’s parents.
The visitors were very much rspected and well attended by the host and hostess. They were entertained on plenty of goat’s meat, chickens and food. The entertainnent takes place under a very well swept tree; but before the entertainment, the two lots of people first bargained the brideprice.
The bride-price was determined according to the wealth of the boys parents. In the case of rich parents, the bride-price included many cattle, goats, chickens, bark cloth, etc. If the parents were poor, just a few goats, bark cloth, chickens and hoes were demanded but an exchange of persons was permitted in case the girl’s brother wanted a girl from the boy’s family or clan. In this case, no other form of bride-price was demanded unless one of the sides unscrupulously decided to demand more things in addition to the person.
In the negotiation of the bride-price, each side had a spokesman who assumed sole responsibility of the matter. The two spokesmen in fact carried out all the negotiations up to the very end, when the bride-price was paid and the marriage effected. The two spokesmen were responsible for the continuation of the marriage until the death of either the wife or the husband. If the wife deserted, the husband’s spokesman was responsible for demanding a refund of the bride-price.
After the principal bride-price had been paid, the husband asked his spokesman to fetch the girl from her parents’ home. On his arrival there, the following things were demanded:
One goat for the girl’s father, one goat for her mother, one goat for the god Walumbe and one goat for another god. When these things had been paid, the parents demanded one nore farewell gift, which could be a hoe or a chicken.
The five goats enumerated above were distributed among the principal gods. It was believed that, every girl was indebted to God Walumbe for her preservation; it was therefore fit for her to pay this god a goat. Another god to whom every person was obliged for his creation was God Lubaale or Kintu. This god was, therefore, entitled to a goat as well. All these offerings had to be given or else the girl would be pursued by evil spirits which would kill every child born to her. After this payment of these things, the bride prepared to go to her husband.
On the day when the bride prepared to come to her husband’s home, the latter’s spokesman came to the girl’s home to supervise the preparation for the journey. On this day the girl’s friends and brothers and sisters collected and feasted on the food offered to Lubaale. That day the girl never slept in her parents’ house; she was taken to her husband by the spokesman and the girl’s brother, who performed the ceremony of handing her to her husband on arrival.
The girl was escorted by all her girl friends in the village who helped to carry her clothes and water bearing banana sterns which the bride had prepared for bathing together with her husband.
Those who escorted the bride sang popular wedding songs all the way. If the journey was a long one, the company started off early in the morning, but if it was fairly short, it was made at night. The bride was strictly guarded from her husband by the people who had escorted her for one night. During this time she was not allowed to be seen by any other people.
On the following morning the girl was prepared to meet her husband. Before she could come into her husband’s home, the latter sent a gift in the form of money or barkcloth, to the girl’s escorts. This gift was known as ‘Kalonda’. If the gift was acceptable, the company moved nearer the home and then stopped once more. Then the boy offered more barkcloth and the company then entered the house where the bride and bridegroom would sleep that night. The house was spread with very clean bark cloth on which the company sat and were greeted. The boy’s spokesman was then given a chicken as a present known as ‘Waleta’, to thank him for bringing the bride.
The following day the boy and his father prepared a feast for the people who escorted the bride. Before the feast was served, the whole company, including the bride, were handed hoes early in the morning and made to dig until one o’clock in the afternoon. The company was often made to dig in the boy’s banana shamba. Afterwards, the boy decides on a number of things to be presented to the company; if the things were accepted, the company then came home and feasted. The things presented finally included one goat given to the brother of the bride; this goat was termed as ‘Luigo’; 5 hoes were given to the girl’ s grandmama and the rest of the company received some presents as well.
The ceremony of the handing ever of the bride to her husband was done by her brother. During the ceremony the bride was seated on the threshold of the boy’s house where she was cleaned and prepared for entrance. The relatives of the boy then examined her to see whether she was healthy and fit. After being examined, she was fed on millet food together with simsim. The bride did not actually eat this food; she merely touched it with her lips. The nephew in the home was reponsible for this food and simsirn.
After touching the food with her lips, they were wiped and cleaned. The ceremony ended with the aunt of the bride making a speech. In this the bride’s former manners and behaviour were praised and she was asked most emphatically to adhere to her old good personality and never to yield to bad temptation as this would spoil her parent’s good name. The same sort of speech was given on behalf of the boy by one of his relatives. After the speeches the bride was taken into the house and that was the end of the marriage ceremony.
During the said ceremony, the bride was weeping quietly as a result of the fear of the unknown, after the departure of her own people who had escorted her. The night following the day of the marriage ceremony the bride and bridegroom slept together. Naturally the bride dreaded this night since, in most cases, she was a virgin and inexperienced.
Whenever a bride was found still a virgin she was very much respected and praised. Any of the beddings tainted with her virgin blood were removed from the bed and sent to her aunt. The father of the husband sent a fatted goat to the bride’s parents to thank them for having kept their daughter so well. The bride’s parents thus gained respect and praise for themselves. The mother of the bride, in particular, was very much praised.
But it was very shameful both to the girl and to her parents for the bride to be found no longer a virgin. A barkcloth bearing holes was sent to her parents to show that they had been careless with their daughter for she was not found to be a virgin. The bride was not respected by her husband, for he regarded her as corrupted. It was considered most shameful unless this was the bride’s second marriage, or that she had been openly raped while she was still in her father’s home.
The girl who escorted her sister in marriage often stayed with her for as long as she wished. When the time came for her to go back, the husband gave her gifts of bark cloth and chickens to take with her. This is the end of the marriage expenses. What remains is the paying of visits on either side.
On the other hand, the sister who had escorted the bride could stay permanently and become the second wife to her sister’s husband; this was done with the consent of the wife. If she became the second wife, a brideprice was demanded by her parents; failure to pay this bride-price meant the withdrawal of the girl by her parents.
That was how marriages were effected and celebrated by both the old and young. The parents of the son became deeply involved in their son’s marriage affairs only when he was marrying for the first time. But if he wanted more wives, he 1ooekd for them himself. In this case he would come across certain women who had deserted their former husbands and were on the look-out for others.
If a girl discovered the place where the boy who wished to marry her lived, she avoided every path which led to that place. This was a precaution against her lover who might, if he found her, catch her and take her to his home. At times the boy and his parents deliberately ambushed the girl and took her home by force; but during the capture the girl often raised a loud alarm and if her parents heard the alarm, they came and a bloody fight resulted between them and the boy’s parents or relatives. If the boy and his supporters succeeded in capturing the girl, they took her home without negotiating any bride-price. The girl’s relatives, however, prepared for retaliation. They collected a body of fighters and attacked with the purpose of robbing anything, whether cattle, goats, or young girls and women, from their girl’s captors. In most cases the girl’s captors did not make any counter-attacks. This was the second way of marrying a girl.
These two types of marriage were the only legal ones in the country. Anybody who attempted to upset a couple married according to any of these two types was convicted by law and was tried and punished according to common laws and traditions of the country. The married people were also expected to respect the country’s customs and traditions governing marriage. Ilegal marriages included the marriages between a son and a girl whom the parents did not approve of. Such marriages happened when a boy fell in love with a girl of his own choice and decided to marry her against the will of his parents. Parents were solely responsible for choosing a girl for their son, as that he could marry legally.
All legal marriages were done according to the customs of the country. It was considered shameful for a girl to bring before her parents a man named ‘Kasaji’ or so—and—so, of her own choice. Because it was not done, it was never expected and, therefore any girl who dared to do it was considered insane. Such a girl became a misfit among her fellow girls and women.
On the other hand, if a girl and boy fell in love and wished to marry, they could do it secretly; they could escape to a distant country away from the influence of their parents and get married there. They could stay away for life, or they could come back to their native village after many years had elapsed since their elopement. In the letter case, the man presented himself to the parents of his wife and if the father happened to be a kind man, he fixed a bride-price which the husband paid immediately.
The parents, however, frequently refused to accept any bride-price and also disowned their daughter and expelled her from their clan as well. Nothing of this nature was done to the boy by his parents, although they might reprimand him for this deed. Immediately after the girl had eloped with the boy, her parents made enquiries for her everywhere.
Among other things, they might suspect that their daughter had been kidnapped by slave—traders, or that she had been murdered. On discovering where she had been taken, the parents and their relatives, armed with spears and clubs, attacked the boy who had eloped with their girl. They robbed much of the boy’s (or his parent’s) property, such as cattle, goats, hoes, chickens, bark cloth, a woman or two, etc. These things would satisfy them and they would have no more trouble with the boy who had escaped with their girl. But if the attack did not profit them in any way, they were annoyed and consequently disowned the girl. If there was any chance of getting the girl before it was too late, the parents and relatives went and brought her back by force, and even robbed the boy’s property. In certain cases the boy might be killed. The chiefs were not responsible for enforcing the marriage customs of the country; this was the duty of the parents. So if a boy and girl escaped together, the chiefs took no part in the search.
The parents and relatives of any girl who escaped with a man felt no obligation towards her; she did it at her own personal risk. If her husband tortured her in any way, the parents took no steps to rescue her. However, the chiefs could not take any legal steps against him unless the parents desired it. The man could therefore kill her, sell her to a slave-trader or disable her in any way he chose. The only helpers of the wife were her parents and relatives who might retaliate only if they did not disown her before. No other person, apart from her father, mother, brother, son, nephew,, maid-servant or a blood-friend could take steps to help her out of her troubles.
There was another way in which marriage could be effected. The parents could give their daughters into marriage with friends. Already married wives and servant-maids could be given to friends as gifts. This sort of marriage was considered legal. This giving of servant-maids and wives was practised mostly by big chiefs.
A girl could also be given away to pay debts incurred in matters of land or any other things. Marriages effected in this way were also considered legal, but the children resulting from this sort of marriage did not belong to the husband; he was only given the girl and no more. On the other hand, the husband could be allowed some children; the rest went to the father of the girl and were known as ‘Enkana’. The latter, however, belonged to their father’s clan. The reason why the girl’s father claimed the children was because he never received any bride-price for her. If any of the children was a gir1, she could be married for a bride-price; the sons served as servants or sold for a price.
The parents’ claim on children was also extended to secret marriages between their daughters and unknown men. Instead of accepting a brideprice, the parents claimed a number of the children whom they could profitably dispose of as stated above. If any of these children was given away into marriage as a gift,no such claim would be staked but the husband of such a wife would be expected to give some things to her owners in the way of customary gifts.
Inter-tribal marriages were allowed everywhere but mrriages between Africans and 1ndians or even Europeans were not allowed. Marriages were not allowed between relatives, such as daughter and father, or son and mother sister, mother’s or father’s relatives, sister-in-law, or brotherin-law, cousin or niece, etc.
Those were the marriage customs affecting both men and women. If anybody violated this custom the resulting marriage was considered most shameful and illegal. Iif the two related people did it without being aware of their relationship, they were often excused and forgiven. But if they were fully aware and, despite their knowledge, they fell in love and married, they were almost invariably condemned to death. The parents of these two people became a misfit in the country; they were rejected and hated by everybody. The parents were considered worthy of such treatment because they had not looked after their children well enough to prevent them from committing evil deeds. This case was mostly tried and decided by members of the clan.
Princes and chiefs were free to claim any girl within their jurisdiction, for themselves, no matter whether she was engaged. The father of such a girl had no power to prevent the prince or chief from doing what he liked with her.
If the girl claimed by the chief had already been paid for by another man, the father of the girl either refunded the bride-price paid by the man or gave him another girl.
No bride-price was set for the chief who wished to marry a girl; on the other hand, he could give the parents plenty of rich gifts or give them nothing at all. The chief’s bride was brought according to the regulations followed by peasants but he could order the girl to be captured and brought to him by force, without the consent of her parents. A girl brought in this way was obliged to stay in her captor’s home for ever as his wife; if she deserted her parents might be robbed of all their property or even sold into slavery. This type of marriage was allowed.
WHAT MAKES MARRIAGES PERMANENT
There are two ways in which marriage may be made life-long:—
(a) After giving up their daughters into marriage for bride-prices or as gifts to chiefs, the parents strongly advise their daughters never to think of deserting their husbands. They also instruct the husbands to treat their wives according to the circumstances of their wives’ behaviour.
Because women long ago were very obedient and loyal to their parents, they adhered to the latter’s instruction and lived with their husbands until death parted them. On the other hand, if a wife deserted without good reason, her husband might kill her if he found her. Or if she had escaped with another man, that man would be killed as well. The parents of the murdered wife never regretted her death.
(b) Long ago there were laws against the seduction of other people’s wives-seduction is still illegal. Any person who was convicted of seduction was sued at court and sentenced to robbery by the chief’s mob. An offiial mob was sent to attack him and rob him of every property - that was law at work. The attackers also aimed at capturing the seducer and the seduced wife. If, in the course of his capture the man struggled to escape, he was killed; but if he was captured alive, he was brought before the elders and chiefs who tried him. The punishment imposed on him included the forfeiture of his kibanja or, in special cases, a death sentence. The wife was returned to her legal husband.
These two things were strong checks against seduction of other people’s wives, or desertion by wives. There were laws governing divorce, murder of, or sale of wives. The husband of any legal wife had power to do anything he liked with her. He could dismiss her, beat her even to death, sell her, give her to somebody else, cut off her ears or fine her as much as he wanted. Nobody had power to prevent a husband from treating his wife as he liked if the wife committed a crime, such as adultery.
On the other hand, if a husband is ill-treated his wife for no good reason at all, the wife’s relatives took steps against him, in most cases they armed themselves with spears and shields and attacked him, instead of taking legal steps against him. Chiefs never cared to investigate closely into private affairs of husbands and wives. If, however, there was a case of cruelty, such as breaking a tooth, plucking out an eye or cutting off ears, which was reported to the lower courts, the case was entered into seriously later by the big Lukiiko. Such a case was regarded as criminal, and the husband convicted by it was fined one big cow, and other things such as a woman, hoes and bark cloth. The cow was given to the relatives of the victimised wife but the rest of the things were taken by the courtmembers.
ADULTERY AND FORNICATION
Whenever a man has sexual intercourse with a woman who is not his wife, he is guilty of adultery; the woman is also guilty of the same crime.
Long ago, if any man caught his wife committing adultery, with another man, he would most certainly kill the man if he (the husband) happened to be armed with a spear or any other lethal weapon. Even if he was not armed, he still beat the man, as well as the woman, most thoroughly. It did not matter whether any of them was beaten to death. In the case of a boy and girl found committing fornication, the boy was lightly beaten and his father heavily fined. The girl was beaten and also much ridiculed by other girls for having let them down so much.
In some cases, if a boy was caught with a young girl, the latter’s parents immediately demanded a heavy bride-price from the boy. The boy might agree to pay the bride price or he might refuse even if he could afford it.
The reason why the girl’ s parents insisted on the boy marrying her was because no other man would accept to marry a girl guilty of fornication. No legal steps could be taken against him if he refused to marry her.
A girl who was found pregnant before she was properly married was isolated from her family and a small hut was built out side her father’ s home. She had all her meals by herself and had her own special waterpot. She became bitterly hated by her father, mother, brothers and sisters and other relatives. If the man responsible for her pregnancy was discovered, he was made to pay a bride-price and to take her away with no pomp at all. If the man denied, the matter was taken to the chief who applied any of the following ways to discover the truth.
The girl was asked to describe exactly the place where she had intercourse with the man; she was also asked to describe the naked body of the man. The chief then made use of this information to try and get the man convicted. If the man still denied, the two people were then asked to swear solemnly that he or she was not guilty and to suck each other’s breasts and to pass under each other’s legs twice. If the man felt a sense of guilt he never dared to swear and fulfil the ritual.
However, if the man would be certain that he had had sexual intercourse with that woman and consequently she became pregnant, he could not agree to suck that woman’s breasts for if he did so in spite of the fact that he was the proper man who had caused the pregnancy, he would die straight away. After his death his property was taken away and shared between the chiefs and the proper husband. If the woman refused the first alleged man to suck her breasts but later the actual man who had caused pregnancy appeared, therefore the slandered man had to receive compensation because, had he been found guilty, all his property or his family would be taken away from him and perhaps he would be killed.
The things for compensation used to be paid by the husband who slandered and himself obtained such things from the man who was subsequently found to be the actual man having caused the pregnancy.
Such a guilty man or woman would gain hatred from the people of his village and even his relatives hated him. When a married woman happened to go to visit her relatives or parents but unfortunately became sick while still there and later died before returning to her husband, then the deceased’s parents would offer to their son-in-law another daughter to replace the one who had died and the husband would not pay anything for his new wife to her parents. The deceased’s body had not to be buried before a substitute was offered to the man and this was regarded as compensation.
If a wife had a child shared with her husband and she happened to go with that child to visit her parents and relatives and it so happened that the child became sick and died there, the body of the child had to be returned to its father for burial but it had not to be buried before the wife’s relatives compensated for the lost child; a daughter had to be offered as a substitute to the deceased’s father, who married the girl offered as a substitute without paying anything to her parents because she was regarded as a compensation for the lost child whose death had taken place at his wife’s relatives’ home.
If a girl offered that way chanced to produce a child of any sex by her husband, it meant that she had rescued her self because her parents or relatives were then in a position of demanding a dowry for her from her husband, as she had produced a real substitute for the dead child. The husband then either had to pay that dowry in order to remain with his wife for good, or not to pay the dowry, in which case he had only to stay with the child but the woman was taken away from him.
The girl given away in the same way remained with her husband if she failed to give birth to a child, and her parents could ask for nothing from her husband, who then had a wife free of charge. If this wife happened to run away from him, the husband had power to claim for her as he had every part over her. If she would be found with another man, her husband had the right to take steps as was taken on the wives who acted that way and the enticers. In case he failed to find his wife, he was free to ask his father in law or his wife’s nearest relations to give him another substitute, and they had to do so accordingly, as the custom.
For a girl who still stayed with her parents and had an engagement with a boy who had paid a dowry to his fiancee’s parents, no matter whether he had paid half of it or the whole of it, if the girl died before the marriage took place the boy was given another girl by the deceased’s parents to replace the one who had died. If the father had no other daughter, he had to search for one among his relatives, especially his brothers, to get him one for replacement to the boy.
When a married woman happened to die before her husband paid full dowry to her parents, then they would ask their son-in-law to pay them the whole dowry which had been arranged before his wife died. Without any grumbling he would pay to them every thing he owed according to the custom and through his own free will without being compelled to do so.
If it appeared that the woman was unproductive and did not produce children at all after a long stay with her husband, then he would go to his parents-in-law and ask for some of the dowry to be paid back in respect of his unproductive wife. In the same way it applied to a wife who, after producing a baby, would have no milk in her breasts to feed the baby, the husband would go to his parents-in-law and ask for some of the dowry back, and that had to be done as was the custom.
In respect of both these cases, such an act of demanding half of the dowry was pracitsed mostly by clans in Bunya county, but other counties did not worry about asking for part of the dowries in respect of unproductive and dry wives because these people knew it was not the fault of such wives to bear no children nor not to have any breast milk. Nevertheless, although these natural impossibilities would be noticeable, they were not taken into account in order to act according to the custom which existed in certain places.
If a chief’s wife appeared to have a pregnancy caused by another man, she would be caught, tied on ropes and beaten and tortured until she declared the name of the man who had caused her pregnancy. Then the chief would appoint people to go and arrest that man, to confiscate all his people and property. After being brought before the chief, the man, as well as the woman, were punished by death; but in case the man won the case, only his people were returned to him without the property, which would not be given back to him any way.
In the case of a peasant’s wife having a pregnancy caused by another man, it was no different from the case of a chief’s wife in the same category because a peasant’s wife’s case would be first investigated carefully and certain enquiries taken but in that of a chief, it only depended upon the woman’s declaration of the man’s name and he was convicted straight away without trial.
When a woman was giving birth and failed to deliver the baby, her attendants would ask whether she had had intercourse with a man other than her real husband. If it had been so and a pregnancy resulted which resulted in such terrible suffering, the man would be called and informed of the situation, and would be asked to pass his water on the woman in agony. If the man consented to having intercourse with her, he was then charged before the chiefs for the offence and would be fined. Some of the fine was taken as compensation. The child was not given to him but to the woman a true husband. The fine, which consisted of certain property, was shared between the chief and the husband that being the end of the matter.