Chapter 10. Lines
A line is the...
? Well-crafted selection and arrangement of words that
Tries? to accomplish something meaningful
Overblown statement: Lines weave together and help to form the fabric of strong advertising.
Some points:
? The term “line” covers headlines, slogans, subject headings, and snappy statements in the copy. Lines are also in some subheads and photo captions.
? Maybe your line has a hook in it, a fun-ness with it, a rhythm to it, or a blast in it. In fact, the sentence you just read has line qualities.
? Every line has the same objective: It wants to get something out of the person receiving it. When someone drones on because he likes to hear himself talk, there are few lines in what he says. Reason: He’s not trying to get a response from you, so he won’t express anything to you in an appealing way. Writing lines is the opposite of this.
Go ahead: Throw out your lines and see what comes back.
Semi-pre-note: Avoiding repeats
Many elements from previous sections are applicable in the following section, so they won’t be presented again. For example, on page 93, “Command” is noted as a type of approach. “Command” is also a type of line, but it’s not going to be discussed below. This lets us cover new ground.
Lines vs. sentences
A line is almost always a sentence, but this guide won’t get into the basic rules of sentence writing. Three reasons:
1. We learned that in school.
2. The rules aren’t fun to read.
3. Lines go out of their way to break the rules.
Instead, we’ll concentrate on the aspects, qualities, and whatever elses that are particular to the line.
As just stated, lines break grammar rules – and more power to them! For example, of course you can make your line a fragment. As long as it works.
Note: Writing a line is much more complex than writing a sentence.
The hook
The hook is the part of the line that makes it a grabber. For example:
“There’s a lot in it and nothing to it.” “In it” paired with “to it” form the hook.
About 30% of successful advertising comes down to hooks. More isn’t written about the hook here, because it’s implicit in other discussions about writing successful lines. For example, see “The music in a line” on page 118.
Regarding the…
? “objective of the line.” That’s coming right up.
? “structure of the line.” It starts on page 117.
? “orchestration of words in the line.” This is on page 119.
Regarding the objective of the line
Don’t have it like the platform
Basic Leeh reads the appeal you constructed (see page 62) and says, “I like this! Let’s make it our slogan. It says everything we want to say.”
Mr. Leeh, thanks for liking the appeal. Unfortunately, that appeal statement won’t grab the prospect. It needs to be a line – with a wow, and some zim-zam-boom.
What are you getting at?
Ask yourself this when you’re creating the line.
How a line might connect
Following are some of the personas lines take on. Lines can be...
? Alluring
Clever?
? Demanding
Regular? Joe
? Seductive
? Identifiable
Serious?
This list is miles short of being complete, because a line can become almost anything. For example, let’s pick a state of being: hysterical. Sure, a line can be hysterical. However, there are limits. For instance, few successful lines are catatonic.
What are the criteria?
There are things you can and can’t say, and they make up the criteria. For example: If you’re selling a medical device, you can’t say it “stops the problem dead in its tracks.”
This is a short subsection on a big issue, because most ads are eliminated by criteria. Another example: You’re advertising instant potatoes to a network of cafeterias. You can’t say, “It’s the cheapest mix,” because, well, this is food, and people eat food.
Reference: “Satisfying the criteria,” on page 25. Why these two weren’t rolled into one is a mystery.
Regarding the structure of the line
Don’t overload
If you burden the line with blah-blah, you’ll wreck your point. For example, let’s overload the sentence you just read:
“If you, your coworkers and/or management try to get too many thoughts into, or otherwise overwrite, complicate, or burden a line (the aforementioned sentence that makes a point of interest to the prospect), the person reading that line won’t have the point made to him or her, and he or she could be negatively impacted in numerous ways.”
Lawyers like these unwieldy statements, because they cover all the bases. However, your reader...
Doesn’t? have time to wade through all that
? Responds to succinct phrasing: "In short...”
Needs? only a few details to get the message
Keep strong words spare
There is a temptation to dive into your thesaurus and emerge with a string of highly potent words, because together they might make a powerful line. For example: “Opt for the superlative masterpiece that disentangles hindrances.” However, you’re not applying an artful touch, so the line explodes.
Alternatively, say this: “It’s a masterpiece.” You didn’t get in that it disentangles hindrances...nor did you include the company’s address...nor did you say that it comes in a variety of colors. But what you are getting across gets across.
Rule of thumb: “How you say it” should be at least 20% better than “what you say.”
The music in a line
Lines can work for many reasons, and one of them pertains to music.
A great line could have a beat – though you can’t dance to it. For example: “It’s more like a house, and more like a home.”
To do: Take the principles you learned in grade school music class, mix them into your line, and you’ll have lively text.
Note: When someone makes a short, convincing statement to you, play it back in your head a few times. It probably has a ring to it.
An example
Mike is writing a slogan to increase membership in the radical left wing organization he belongs to. Mike comes up with, “The left is right!” It’s catchy, thought provoking, and attractive to those inclined to agree with him. Even better, it looks good on a sign he can carry at demonstrations.
Bart is Mike’s comrade and partner. Bart hears, “The left is right!”
and changes it to: “Going Left is the ONLY choice – Join us now!”
Bart’s change ruins the line. It breaks the beat, destroys the hook, and overburdens everything. Mike is angry about this, but he shouldn’t push Bart out a window and assume power...yet.
Mike to Bart: We should deliver a single message here – not a string of little declarations. Let’s not squeeze in every phrase we think is necessary. Instead, let’s communicate to the prospect in an appealing way.
Bart: [Simply stares. He might be reaching for his pistol under the desk.]
Mike, pressing on: “The left is right!” has a beat to it. And hitting a beat is far more effective than saying “Join now,” and “we have the only choice.”
Bart: Don’t you want people to join now? You’re not proud of our ideology? Are you a capitalist?
Mike: Don’t try that. It’s a matter of discipline – something you don’t have. You know, there are five other points we could jam in the line too. We have a special on membership now. Should we junk the slogan up more by including that?
Bart: Maybe we should.
Mike: C’mon! OK, if you can’t understand discipline, try priorities. We don’t need to say everything all at once. We can prioritize. Right now, we only need to introduce ourselves to the prospect, because he needs to be attracted to our cause before he’ll join us. “The left is right!” is a great introduction.
Bart: How about this instead: “Quit your Stalin, and Lenin us help you.”
Mike thinks: Oh, boy.
Note: Lines are at the core of resultful advertising, and they should be treated with extreme care. In short, they’re worth fighting for.
Regarding the orchestration of words in the line
Double meanings
For example: “Get the experience.” You’re taking advantage of the fact that experience has two positive definitions.
Double meanings...
Give? your ad a two-for-one impact, and it needs lots of impact
Satisfy? the requirement that ads be clever
Reference: “The two point shot,” on page 72.
Twist on a recognized phrase
For example: “Anything you can do you can do better.”
Note: If people kid you for saying lots of clichés and old expressions, be glad! You can use them to write lines.
Punch
In a few words, you hit the prospect right where he lives. For example:
“Why throw away $117 a month?”
The prospect thinks, “Wow, where can I save $117?” You’re on your way to getting a response.
Reference: “Get in line with the prospect’s thinking,” on page 39.
Time to rhyme?
Years ago there were rhyming slogans, and then everyone got violently sick of them. Perhaps you’re the innovator who will bring them back.
Words that sound similar
For example: “Superb Suppers.” This repetition is called alliteration, and it’s one of the easiest ways to write an effective line.
Be generational
It connects. For example, tell the WWII generation, “V for Victory.”
Types of lines
Slogans
A slogan (or “theme,” or “tagline”) is the short little phrase that sums up the marketing effort behind the product. Your slogan needs to say or imply most of what’s in your appeal. Reference: “Appeal,” on page 62.
Will a slogan generate new prospects? That depends on how much you use it. “Hold it!” says Skip Tic. “We put time, money, and effort into creating the slogan, and what matters most is how much it’s seen?”
Sure. If an OK slogan is your star attraction, it will be more effective than a great slogan sitting at the bottom of the ad. In the latter situation, you could call it a “theme.” You say, “This is the overall theme of the campaign. Different messages branch from it.”
Keeping a theme in the basement
Why create a slogan when it isn’t used a whole lot?
The? company is proud of its achievements.
? “Everyone else has a slogan.”
The? creation of a new slogan puts the company through a cathartic experience. “What is this product? Why is it on this planet?”
It? signals reinvigoration. “It’s a new year...we have a new theme...and we’re recommitting ourselves to innovation.”
It’s a? motto the employees can rally around. The Director of Accounting could speak at a conference and say, “You might have seen our ads saying we’re ‘The solutions company.’ Well, I’m going to give you some accounting solutions.”
Product name in slogan…yes or no?
It’s time to settle a 200-year-old disagreement in the advertising world.
Question: Do you need to have the product name in the slogan? Answer: Not necessarily. If you insert the product name into your slogan, will your message, hook, and beat remain intact? If yes, great. Put the name in. If no, leave the name out. It’s better to have your line function beautifully.
“But,” says Wise Advertiser, “the name has to be there! Otherwise, nobody will remember the product.”
To be sure, the slogan benefits when it contains the product name. However, as Leftist Mike taught us (on page 118), if the slogan works best without the name, leave it be.
But you might be able to cheat, and here’s how: You tack the product name onto an end of the slogan. For example, let’s add to this slogan: “Your one-stop shop.”
“Jaxhwsfd is your one-stop shop.” “Your one-stop shop is Jaxhwsfd.”
Don’t have a single word slogan
Coworker Al Mostgotit says, “We brought our advertising message down to one mighty word: ‘Performance.’ It says everything about who we are and what we do.”
Hmm. “Performance” doesn’t really have a hook.
Line collection
If you want to see several pages of lines, go to page 139.
Headlines
Here are two points:
1. Headlines mean everything to ads. All hail the mighty headline.
2. Most of what was already stated about lines and slogans applies to headlines, and we won’t repeat all that. However, there are headline-ish subjects we can talk about.
Clear the way – here comes a big headline
As we saw in “Staking out territory” (on page 113), 65% of your ad should be used for your headline and visual. That’s a lot! So, consider running your headline MOUNTAINOUS.
Putting different headlines in the campaign
Your lively campaign should contain a wide variety of ads, each with different...
Topics?
? Headlines
Visuals?
The prospect may not respond to your February ad talking about convenience. However, he may reply to your March ad, because it addresses quality assurance.
“Hold it!” says Klose Reeder. “This book keeps talking about supporting the theme, yet we’re supposed to have ads that address different topics. What’s the deal?”
The key is to mix the theme into the ad. If your theme centers on “best tasting wild rice,” certainly one of your headlines can talk about “low sodium.” Just make this your subhead:
“It’s true: The best tasting wild rice contains very little salt.”
The net of it is: The reader likes seeing variety in your ads, and he should reward you for that.
Reference: “Let’s build a campaign,” on page 84.
“What is this product?”
Q: In the headline, do you need to say what the product is or does?
A: The less the prospect knows about this type of product, the more you need to explain it. If a company is selling you Leyden jars, they had better tell you what they are and do – quickly.
Note: You can probably put those explanators into the subhead.
Oh: Leyden jars were used a few hundred years ago to create electricity.
A happy marriage between the visual and headline
To have a successful relationship, the headline and visual should be...
? Compatible
Right? for each other
Helpful? to one another
? Understanding of each other
A weak visual doesn’t carry its own weight
When the visual idea is lousy, the headline has to waste words...
? Explaining what is in the picture
Doing? the selling the visual should have done
The point: Improve the visual idea, and free your copy for other duties.
Don’t say what is shown in your picture
For example: If you have a close-up of an orange hanging from a tree, your headline need not have the word “orange” or “tree” in it.
Cut the blee-blah, increase the impact
Here is an ad with a lot of...
Impact:? “Save Big Now!”
? Blee-blah: “Wait until the competition sees that we’re offering you tremendous savings.”
Moral: It’s difficult for the prospect to overlook a short and declarative headline. So make one!
Incongruity between photo and headline
If you have a dramatic photo, you might want to play down the headline message. For example, show a telephone as a giant spaceship over a city. Headline: “It’s for you.”
Subhead: Your ace in the hole
The subhead sits right below the headline, and you can use it for many reasons. You can...
Put in? whatever you couldn’t get into the headline. Let’s say coworker Load Itup tells you, “We have to put in the headline that we won the Grlwdrxo Award.” You can stuff that fact into the subhead and make Load loads happy.
Place a? “call to action” high up in the ad: “Get our free trial offer.” Usually these encouragements don’t come into the ad until the end, because advertisers want to be refined and staid. However, you should be pushy and loud, so make an early offer to your prospect to lure him into the copy. “Read how you can save $24 every week.”
A point: The subhead probably isn’t a line, because you’re trying to say something ultra-clear to the prospect.
Paragraph heading: Break it up!
Look up one line and you’ll see, “Paragraph heading: Break it up!” This is a paragraph heading. Use these, because they keep your copy from becoming long expanses of gray.
More reasons to use paragraph headings:
The? prospect doesn’t want to read all your copy. He wants to zero in on the parts that interest him. Paragraph headings help him do this.
It’s? easier to organize what you want to say.
You? don’t have to worry about transitioning from one subject to the next (with “Furthermore,” “In addition,” etc.) Just start a new paragraph heading and take off.
Here’s the big secret:
Paragraph headings like the above can attract readers.
Throwaway lines: Keep them!
You write a few sentences of copy, and then add, “But you already knew that.” This is a throwaway line. Here is another one:
“And the best reason to get our product? You’ll look fabulous using it.” Throwaway lines are powerful, because...
The? communication is more person-to-person and spontaneous. The
prospect likes reading what one person writes off the cuff, rather than what a group rewrites in serious marketing meetings.
The? reader expects you to cram your space with logical argument. Instead, you’re zagging.
It? surprises the reader, makes her smile, and warms her a little more toward responding.
So: Should you put in another reason for buying the product, or put in a throwaway line? Answer: Whichever is better. If it’s a great line, it has to go in.
Be mischievous
For example: Rather than saying, “Get our fact sheet,” say, “Get our cheat sheet.”