Even more impressive is the astounding configuration of our jawbones. We’ve got extra strong muscles in that area, complete with sharp, scissor-like teeth we can use for catching any tempting prey wandering around near us, and then efficiently chopping them up into small, bite-sized pieces that are easy to swallow and digest.
By contrast, all this knife and fork ceremony that the humans have to perform to get their prey into edible form is not even taken into consideration for my species. What do ya think? Have we got pretty good eating equipment built into our bodies, or what? It’s as simple as “crunch and munch”— yum!
Hey, and how about our paws? The humans’ feet are just sort of common flat-bottom things that keep them from falling over or weaving around and bumping into things. And, they’ve got these useless nails on top of their toes that, quite frankly, are no good at all for defending yourself, hunting, or clinging onto things, like when we climb up the curtains. I mean, what’s the point? Actually, there is no point on those nails of theirs, and that means that they’re born with these very average walking devices that serve no other purpose except for… walking. Sorry about that.
On the other hand, us cats have multi-usage paws called “digitigrades,” and we’ve got four of them! That’s double the pleasure and advantage. “Digitigrades” means that we walk directly on our toes. But don’t be confusing us with those ballerina types I’ve seen on the television box that swirl and hop around with seemingly no general purpose for all that effort and activity. No, no, no. We’re not into the artistic aspect of toe walking, but rather we focus more on the practical applications.
For one thing, our multi-usage paws permit us to walk very precisely and with great accuracy since each back-paw step generally falls directly into the previous front-paw step position. Are you impressed? Thus, we can move about with almost no noise and leaving no traces of our presence.
I believe that makes us similar to those very refined and ghost-like Stealth airplanes that I’ve heard about. You’re surely concluding now that us kitties are high-tech kinds of creatures, right? Yeah, no reason to question or doubt the facts. It is what it is.
And I saved the best part for last in relation to our paws. We’ve got protractible claws! That means that we can keep them hidden inside or have them come out whenever we choose. Cool! How many of you humans can say that about those nails that you have, huh?
There are typically five of those sharp claws on each paw on the front end and four on each one on the back end. In total, that’s eighteen highly efficient, concealed weapons that can be sprung out in a flash to defend or attack, depending on the situation.
Furthermore, we’re so skillful with this natural armament that we can voluntarily extend just the claws on one paw, or two, or however many we may want at any given time. Are you a little jealous of these secret details I’m telling you about? This variable claw extending, of course, makes us fearsome opponents in any battle, big or small.
And don’t misunderstand me about the previous, please. We are mostly calm, peace-loving creatures who prefer to spend our time patrolling our territory, napping, and being on alert for any opportunities to enjoy a tasty snack that might be offered to us by our kind and considerate caretakers. But if necessary and forced into the situation, we will do whatever might be appropriate to assure our safety. You wouldn’t criticize us for that, right?