MISTAKE #2: BEING UNPREPARED TO PROVIDE PROPER BALANCED
SOCIALIZATION OPPORTUNITIES FOR YOUR DOG
Let’s move right on to the next Mistake. So many dog owners miss this step. I spend the majority of my time trying to resolve the Mistakes made with improper socialization, and it can be one of the most difficult problems to resolve. The Mistake is being completely unprepared to provide proper socialization for our dogs.
Dogs crave good parental guidance. And if you take a puppy away from their parents, then you are now their parent and must provide proper guidance in order for your dog to be balanced, healthy and happy.
Some people forget that dogs don’t come already trained. They think they should already know how to behave in all situations and somehow become the perfect pet as they get older. We’re expecting that perfect, well-mannered, easy going, affectionate dog to suddenly appear when they’re one year old, but they’re not perfect yet. So we wait until the dog is two years old. Hmmm, not quite there yet. Maybe at three years?
You know, after the dog is about five years old, people start thinking, “Hmmm. When are they supposed to grow up? When are they going to mature? Aren’t they supposed to grow out of those behaviors and become the wonderful dog that we thought they were going to be or become more like the other dog we had? We’ve been putting up with these problems all this time, and they’ve still not figured it out.” Instead, maybe we need to figure it out, right?
Puppies aren’t born knowing how to be the perfect domesticated dog in your household. Learning how to be appropriate in all situations, what good manners are, what’s wanted or needed from it – that is the hallmark of good training and proper socialization from calm, stable assertive family members and pack Leaders.
Taking on a puppy means that you’re taking on the role of that dog’s parents with all the responsibilities of teaching that baby all the rules in a way that it can understand. There is a critical development stage in every puppy’s life – between 2 and 6 months old – when certain lessons can be most easily be learned.
Confusing social encounters, bewilderment, pain, miscommunication, danger - both emotional and physical – and other negative experiences that occur during this time will scar them for life, and you’ll be dealing with those issues for the rest of your lives, I promise you.
You must provide safety and protection for that puppy. You have to teach them how to play. You have to teach them how to interact with other dogs and how to get along with other species like cats and birds – and even human children! You have to teach them how to respect authority and follow guidance (their mothers can do a lot of this if you leave the puppy with them long enough).
Finally you have to come up with and prepare lesson plans (like their canine pack members would) that are appropriate to their age, paying careful attention to help the puppy feel safe and protected, how to create and enhance that puppy’s feelings of self-confidence, and how to create trust in authority figures that’s going to foster a willingness to follow guidance. If you do your job properly, training will never be a problem, and you will have a dog friend who is a joy for everyone to be around.
You have to learn how to communicate in a way that includes body language, telepathy, emotion, scent, cues and signals from a dog’s viewpoint.
Did you know that exuberance in a dog doesn’t necessarily mean they are happy? It means they are excited and their nervous system is hyper-stimulated. Their sympathetic nervous system is on high alert, very similar to when they are in danger, are anxious or afraid.
If you don’t properly prepare your puppy through training and other careful socialization or allow too intense, unsafe confrontations with other beings or put them into situations before you’ve prepared them, before you’ve created self-confidence and an understanding in them of what the appropriate behavior is, then you’re going to set your puppy up to have a very difficult life, whether they stay with you or move on to someone else.
I want to talk about coddling for a minute. Often we get into trouble with this and it’s such an honest Mistake. When our children or friends are scared, it is very helpful to be comforted by someone. When we offer what we think of as comfort or reassurance to our dogs when they are scared, confused or not sure what to do in a new situation, they see it entirely differently.
They think we are rewarding their fearful behavior! That means that they are doing the right thing – that acting afraid, worried, aggressive, or nervous is, in fact, the proper way to behave in this situation. Plus, it gets them lots of attention for behaving this way.
We keep thinking they ’ll re cover themselvesand be confident again when we keep showing them that there is something to be frightened about! And that they are right to be wary, cautious and afraid. Then we wonder why they are always so afraid of that thing.
Please do not coddle or try to comfort your dog. They need you, their calm, assertive Leader, to tell them what to do and how to feel about it. If you continue to radiate anything other than calmness, peace and clarity, then they will be unable to get over their traumatic experience because you won’t let them.
