Remember the stories I opened with? You may be wondering what happened so let me tell you the rest of the stories.
Little Suzie Q had to be taught to be obedient before she could be expected to respond to the command “come.” Anne learned that if Suzie Q wasn’t being obedient 100% of the time to her commands and wasn’t happy to please her, then when danger came, Suzie Q wouldn’t obey then either — especially in the excitement of the moment.
Baby Blue was so frustrated with her humans that she didn’t know what to do. She craved their company and tried to show them how happy she was to see them all the time, but all they did was retreat from her, run away, hide in rooms she couldn’t get to. She was miserable and didn’t know what to do. She also knew that her humans were unhappy. What a dilemma!
Sarah and Adam had to decide if they wanted to give her a chance to be a great dog. And to do that, they had to become great dog Leaders. They had to start taking charge again, telling Baby Blue what they wanted and what they didn’t want. They had to stop giving her affection and attention when she was acting so excited and out of control. And they had to figure out how to exercise her in a positive way where they were the Leaders, directing where they went and how they got there.
Because Sarah and Adam were both older and not really able to walk a young energetic dog for very far, they came up with a plan they could implement. Adam got on his golf cart every day, and attached Baby Blue’s leash so that she could follow him as he drove around. It suited them both very well, and they had a lot of fun going out together.
When they did all that, Baby Blue settled down and became really good at giving them what they wanted. And she was happier too, because now she had a family to be with and knew where she ft in.
Remember Houdini, the miniature schnauzer that was attacking people and who had become so irritable and difficult to manage? When I communicated with her, we learned that she strongly felt her human’s insecurities and was simply trying to control things and create safety in her own way. Her humans had been sending her mixed messages and were confusing her in many ways, which we then had the chance to clear up. We also discovered that her back and neck were really painful and needed chiropractic adjustment, and that some of the acting out was a result of her being in chronic pain.
Tom and Clara learned how to create a calm, assertive Leadership role with her, and began telling Houdini when visitors were coming and what they wanted her to do. Houdini learned to trust them more, and they began relaxing with each other. Now, their walks are uneventful and fun – which is a really good thing!
Through communicating with Houdini about coping with strangers and visitors, we were able to create a comfort zone and protocol for the family to follow when someone was coming over. Tom and Clara said that the best part was they were more able to love and accept her as an important part of their family again. Now they have friends, family and even children over to visit and never have any problem. In fact, they just had their first child and Houdini is doing very well. She’s not even afraid of thunderstorms anymore!
Sam, the dog who wouldn’t drink out of his water bowl, remembered almost drowning in a tub of water when he was a very small puppy. His owners confessed that a very strange woman who was acting oddly had taken him to the vet to be euthanized when he was only a few weeks old. And that the state he was in when he was found suggested abusive treatment and near death condition. After communicating the memory and receiving counseling, he began to drink freely for the first time out of his water bowl.
Zoe, the cocker spaniel, had been struggling with an undiagnosed digestive problem for a long time that was sapping her energy. She confirmed that she wasn’t ready to die yet. When her owner took her to the vet, Zoe, afraid she’d be put down, made a huge effort to show how happy and lively she could be. And when her diet was changed, she began recovering her strength and zest for life.
Beau attacked Barbara’s friend because he felt they were taking liberties with his most prized possession, Barbara, and he was telling them to back off. He felt he owned her and had the right to control what she did and who approached her. Barbara realized that because she usually let him do whatever he wanted most of the time, that when she really needed him to obey and listen to her, he naturally ignored her. That was, after all, what she’d taught him to do.
She had to learn how to reclaim her place as his alpha Leader, as someone he could respect. When they rebalanced their relationship, much of his obnoxious behavior went away, and he became more trustworthy and friendly. And their friend? It turns out that she wasn’t hurt, only scared, when he bit at her. So what could have been a very tragic ending resolved before somebody got really hurt and Beau had to lose his life.
Against all odds, Happy turned into a happy dog! I pointed out to Jane that she was constantly reaffirming to Happy that there was something to worry and be nervous about. Once she learned how to become a calm, assertive Leader projecting confidence, she became someone her dog could respect, trust and count on at all times. She had to learn dog dominance games and how to train her dog using positive feedback. Once she did, she began to take control of situations proactively, instead of anxiously waiting for something bad to happen and worrying in advance.
All of these true life stories have things in common. All the dogs needed someone to listen to them, to respect their viewpoint, to take the time to ask them what was wrong and what they were thinking, They simply needed to communicate so they could express themselves to their human caretakers. Once we understood their viewpoint, it was easy to know how to best resolve the problem.
In every relationship with a dog teacher, they are talking to us all the time. The question is: Are we listening to them? Can we hear what they are saying to us?
Remember that your dogs are spiritual teachers. They chose you to be their student as well as their Leader – it’s not an accident they are with you! Many companion dogs choose to spend their lives attempting to break through our barriers, to help us heal and become reconnected with all Life.
I would not want to live my life without dogs, and I hope you feel the same way. They touch our hearts, and for that we truly are forever grateful. They help us rebalance and be whole.
And after all is said and done, our dogs leave paw prints on our hearts…. Or, in the words of one of my favorite authors:
There. Now you know all of the 12 Most Common Mistakes nearly every dog owner makes and what you can do about it! Take a moment to review and evaluate your relationship with your dog friend. Can you see anything that is out of balance? Are you more aware of their needs? Do you see your world and home now from the unique perspective, from the canine mind? Does their behavior now make much more sense to you?
Now decide what you want to do about it and where you want to start. Changing a relationship always takes time, but your dog will be glad to help you. They will give you excellent feedback on what you’re doing right - as well as what you’re doing wrong.
Every dog is a unique individual - your job is to find what works best for you and your canine friend.
If you have any questions, feedback or comments about this book, please let me know. I’m very much looking forward to hearing from you.
Wishing you all the love, joy, wisdom and laughter of animals.
