6
GOING TO THE COUNTRY
"In Vietnam, the death toll was up to 33,641. Anti-war demonstrations became bloody riots on college campuses and the bloodiest of all was in Chicago at the 1968 Democratic Convention." In the fall President Nixon started to withdraw troops. Jackie Kennedy and Aristotle Onassis were married on the is- land of Skorpios. Pierre Elliot Trudeau became prime minister of Canada.
My lady friends complained disdainfully when I chose my art in lieu of canasta soirees, but shopping, afternoon tea, evenings with the girls were never my thing. I found men more interesting and seemed to be surrounded by them. When we socialized, it was the women at one end of the room talking about diapers and dependable help and the men at the other, usually with me among them, discussing the length of skis, new brands, how they negotiated each run on the ski hill, football and hockey scores. On an invitation to dinner, the hostess slyly suggested casual dress but when we arrived I was surprised to see all the women dressed to the hilt. I had worn jeans. I was definitely not one of the bunch, and the ladies made sure I felt that way. It was heartening to have one of the husbands come to my defense; he remarked how great I looked and how it took courage to do one's own thing. I believe men were attracted to my independence and candid manner. They love a challenge but not necessarily being married to one.
You did not choose to be like your mother. You turned away from her and basically identified with your father.
Psychic Reading, 1983, by Mitra
Skiing gave way to golf, not my idea of summer fun. I diligently learned the game so as to spend time with my husband, which didn't happen often as he preferred golfing with the guys but I did what I had to do to get by, which was what I had done most of my life, not understanding that was what I was doing - get- ting by. I was married, had three children, a home of my own with a kidney-shaped swimming pool and enough money to cover our needs. Brought up under stringent rules, I was programmed to participate in the patriarchal program that existed - to please the man I was with and to be a dutiful wife. But I was a fish out of water, deeply unsatisfied, mired in the system and doing everything I could to break out of it. What intrigued me most were people just living together, dressed like beat- niks, traveling around in vans. Nobody I knew felt that way.
As ski season returned, my husband's absence tried my patience to the point that I started to think of a weekend house in the Green Mountains of northern Vermont, where he was spending much of his time. Family responsibility, as always not equally shared, kept me home with the kids. I resented this. I found a tiny chalet, put a down payment on it and returned home to let my husband know about our plans. He didn't object.
The next few years went by with the normal cuts, scratches and bruises, both physically and emotionally, as we spent our time between our two homes. I resisted returning to the city after a weekend in the country. Hiking in the woods, swimming in the creeks and waterfalls and generally living outdoors reminded me of my camp days and canoe trips in the Canadian wilderness. There was a freedom in the country that the city couldn't offer. Clean air, cold evenings, fires in the fire- place, an unstructured existence.
Nixon withdrew the first 25,000 troops from Vietnam. At Woodstock 400,000 kids held a love-in, first and grandest of the Rock Festivals. Pierre Trudeau cemented his claim to the trendiness crown by meeting with John Lennon and his wife, Yoko Ono, in his Parliament Hill office. Millions watched the Apollo Mission in space on TV as Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon. "An arms race of apocalyptic proportions was in progress between the United States and the Soviet Union."
After a year of marble stone cut printing, I was offered a one-woman show at a gallery in Old Montreal. A busy, noisy opening saw me dressed in a cinnamon velvet pantsuit that had taken me a few months to knit, closely-cropped, dyed, blonde hair and very stoned. My teacher was there beaming at what he had produced. There were people who knew me whom I didn't know and people who wanted to get to know me. My abstracts were up for scrutiny, for all to discover my secret liaisons, desires and needs, carved intricately into a web of textures, well hidden in the design. The museum purchased one of my pieces for its permanent collection and I dismantled my show after one month.
Valerie started first grade. The school was overcrowded but close to our house and she could come home for lunch. I wasn't sure how long she would be attending because of all the trouble between English- and French-speaking schools in Montreal.
"Under Bill 63 French was established as the primary language of instruction but parents were assured they could choose in which of the two languages their children could be taught.” "Then the government of Premier Robert Bourassa took the step that would shake Canada to its roots. He repealed the bill and eliminated parental choice in Quebec by introducing Bill 22 in which the government declared French the only official language of the province. It stipulated that admissions to English- language schools depended entirely on whether or not a child's maternal language was English. The law now divided Quebec education along racial lines."
The U.S. military budget was $80 billion and the corporations involved in military production were making fortunes. At Ohio's Kent State University, four students were killed while demonstrating against the war. Students at four hundred colleges and universities went on strike in protest.
While all this was going on I was comfortably at home raising my kids, not having to work to support a family, totally ignorant of the world at large and the plight of women. I was anaesthetized to reality, still preoccupied with the life my parents had lived and planned for me - marriage, babies, a home in the suburbs and the whole nine yards of complacent, society-driven, unconscious living. What I finally began to realize was what was happening so close to home.
"The October FLQ Crisis shocked the city of Montreal. Members of the FLQ kidnaped James Cross, the British Trade Commissioner, and Pierre Laporte, the Quebec Cabinet Minister of Labor. The federal government invoked the War Measures Act which suspended civil liberties across the country. The police moved in. The FLQ retaliated by assassinating Laporte. Premier Robert Bourassa turned to the federal government for help and the Canadian army moved in."
"There were truck– loads of soldiers in the quiet streets of Montreal. And the police were given the right to break down any doors and arrest whom- so ever they chose. Cross's captors were never brought to trial and the government granted the terrorists safe conduct out of the country."
We listened to the gruesome details of the Cross kidnapping, shocked that this was happening in our province. It was only a matter of time before Quebec would become totally French and I didn't want to stay long enough for that to happen, especially with children in the school system for the next twenty years. I was happy in the United States, the school was smaller, the kids would be raised in the country, and I could have some peace of mind as a mother doing something for her children to enhance their upbringing. Perhaps my life would be less burdensome if I could walk in the woods, ski occasionally with my husband and generally feel that what I was doing was worthwhile. But most of all I didn't like being left alone. Marriage is about sharing.
That fall I would have two kids in school, Valerie in second grade and Susan in kindergarten. When it became apparent that the girls might have to attend a Roman Catholic school, it became easier to leave. I applied for an immigrant visa for admission to the United States and received a letter from the Consulate General granting me a Department of Labor Certification as a Physiotherapist - Schedule- A, Group II, but was dismayed to learn that there was a waiting time of eighteen months.
Leaving Montreal wasn't a problem for me. Perhaps being adopted and root- less allowed me to separate more easily. I might have been running from the constrictive conditions of city living, my parents, and maybe life in general, but I was ready for a change. That drive, established at the beginning when I changed hands from one set of parents to another, has forced a specific pattern of moving on, seeking, needing a nest, searching for my origins.
The United States continued to reduce forces in Vietnam. Deserters doubled since 1967. The environmental group, Green- peace, was formed. "President Richard Nixon ordered the Marijuana Commission Report because by 1971, it was apparent that marijuana smoking among teenagers and young adults in this country had