Chapter 18
You can call me anytime!
The evening started badly. When we arrived home, Paul was in a foul mood, it was one of those evenings where he went out of his way to belittle me. From the minute we walked in the door the emotional abuse began. He started asking me the same old questions, questions I wasn’t able to answer because no matter which way I replied, he would find a reason why my answer was wrong. I decided to start doing the laundry to try and avoid him but walking away was never a good idea. As soon as I turned my back on him, he grabbed me by the arm and slapped me across the face.
“You will not walk away from me when I’m talking to you Azelene. What the fuck is wrong with you?” He growled.
“Paul you’re hurting me, please leave my arm.” I begged. Paul just tightened his grip further, until I started crying. My arm was going numb and my cheek was burning. I didn’t dare touch it, because I knew he would slap me again. He started shaking me then pushed me away from him shouting,
“Get out of my face! Go do the washing, that’s all you’re good for anyway!” I fell from the impact of his push and knocked my head against the cupboard. I pulled myself up and walked to the bathroom where my washing machine stood and started on the laundry. I wished that I was able to close the door and hide from this monster. But there was no hiding from him. So much dark hatred seeped into my heart. I wanted to run away but where could I go, there was no support for me because nobody knew what was going on. I was alone in this.
The next morning, I went to work and had my excuses all lined up for the marks on my face and upper arm. I didn’t talk too much and tried to hide my feelings from Ronell and Susan. I didn’t want them to know what was going on. I went out for regular smoke breaks and felt like crying every time I stood on the cold stairs smoking and thinking about the home I was going back to that evening. I was scared to go back, but I didn’t have any other option.
That afternoon when I left work, Ronell called me back just before I walked out the office. She looked me straight in the eyes.
“Azelene, I just wanted you to know that you can phone me any time of the day or night if you need me. I don’t care what it is or where you are. If you need somebody, I’m there for you, anytime!” I looked at her and said thanks, turned around and walked out the office. I burst into tears as soon as I closed the door, knowing in my heart, that Ronell knew more than she let on. She knew Paul was beating me on a regular basis. I saw it in her eyes, even though she didn’t say it in so many words. I walked home that afternoon. Paul told me he had clients with him at the flat, looking over plans, and that he wouldn’t be able to pick me up after work. I looked forward to walking home even though it was only two blocks. That was enough alone time for me, to collect myself and dry my eyes before I walked into the flat.