Chapter 15—Isaac’s Marriage: The Happiest in the Bible
This chapter is based on Genesis 24.
Abraham had become an old man; yet one act remained for him to do. Isaac was divinely appointed to succeed him as the keeper of the law of God and the father of the chosen people; but he was yet unmarried. {EP 107.1}
The inhabitants of Canaan were given to idolatry, and God had forbidden intermarriage between His people and them, knowing that such marriages would lead to apostasy. Isaac was gentle and yielding in disposition. If united with one who did not fear God, he would be in danger of sacrificing principle for the sake of harmony. In the mind of Abraham, the choice of a wife for his son was of grave importance; he was anxious to have him marry one who would not lead him from God. {EP 107.2}
In ancient times, marriage engagements were generally made by the parents, and this was the custom among those who worshiped God. None were required to marry those whom they could not love, but the youth were guided by the judgment of their God-fearing parents. It was a dishonor to parents, even a crime, to pursue a course contrary to this. {EP 107.3}
Isaac, trusting his father, was satisfied to commit the matter to him, believing also that God Himself would direct in the choice made. The patriarch’s thoughts turned to his father’s kindred in Mesopotamia. Though not free from idolatry, they cherished the knowledge of the true God. Isaac must not go to them, but it might be that among them could be found one who would leave her home and unite with him in maintaining the pure worship of the living God. {EP 107.4}
Abraham committed the important matter to “his eldest servant,” a man of experience and sound judgment who had rendered him long and faithful service. He required this servant to make a solemn oath that he would not take a wife for Isaac of the Canaanites, but would choose a maiden from the family of Nahor in Mesopotamia. If a damsel could not be found who would leave her kindred, then the messenger would be released from his oath. The patriarch encouraged him with the assurance that God would crown his mission with success. “The Lord God of heaven,” he said, “which took me from my father’s house, and from the land of my kindred, ... He shall send his angel before thee.” {EP 108.1}
The messenger set out without delay. Taking ten camels for his own company and the bridal party that might return with him and also gifts for the intended wife and friends, he made the long journey beyond Damascus to the plains that border on the great river of the East. {EP 108.2}
Arrived at Haran, “the city of Nahor,” he halted outside the walls near the well to which the women came at evening for water. It was a time of anxious thought with him. Important results, not only to his master’s household but to future generations, might follow from the choice he made. Remembering that God would send His angel with him, he prayed for positive guidance. In the family of his master he was accustomed to constant kindness and hospitality, and he now asked that an act of courtesy might indicate the maiden whom God had chosen. {EP 108.3}
Hardly was the prayer uttered before the answer was given. Among the women at the well, the courteous manners of one attracted his attention. As she came from the well, the stranger went to meet her, asking for some water from the pitcher upon her shoulder. The request received a kind answer with an offer to draw water for the camels also. {EP 108.4} Thus the desired sign was given. The maiden “was very fair to look upon,” and her ready courtesy gave evidence of a kind heart and an active, energetic nature. Thus far the divine hand had been with him. The messenger asked her parentage, and on learning that she was the daughter of Bethuel, Abraham’s nephew, “he bowed down his head, and worshiped the Lord.” {EP 108.5}
The man revealed his connection with Abraham. Returning home, the maiden told what had happened, and Laban, her brother, at once hastened to bring the stranger to share their hospitality. {EP 109.1}
Eliezer would not partake of food until he had told his errand, his prayer at the well, with all the circumstances attending it. Then he said, “Now, if ye will deal kindly and truly with my master, tell me: and if not, tell me; that I may turn to the right hand, or to the left.” The answer was, “The thing proceedeth from the Lord: we cannot speak unto thee bad or good. Behold, Rebekah is before thee, take her, and go, and let her be thy master’s son’s wife, as the Lord hath spoken.” {EP 109.2}
Rebekah Believes God Has Spoken
Rebekah herself was consulted as to whether she would go to so great a distance from her father’s house to marry the son of Abraham. She believed that God had selected her to be Isaac’s wife, and said, “I will go.” {EP 109.3}
The servant, anticipating his master’s joy, was impatient to be gone, and with the morning they set out on the homeward journey. Abraham dwelt at Beersheba, and Isaac, who had been attending the flocks in the adjoining country, had returned to his father’s tent to wait the messenger from Haran. “And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide: and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, the camels were coming. And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel. For she had said unto the servant, What man is this that walketh in the field to meet us? And the servant said, It is my master: therefore she took a veil, and covered herself. And the servant told Isaac all things that he had done. And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.” {EP 109.4}
Abraham had marked the result of the intermarriage of those who feared God and those who feared Him not, from the days of Cain to his own time. His own marriage with Hagar and the marriage connections of Ishmael and Lot, were before him. The father’s influence upon his son Ishmael was counteracted by that of the mother’s idolatrous kindred and by Ishmael’s connection with heathen wives. The jealousy of Hagar and of the wives whom she chose for Ishmael surrounded his family with a barrier that Abraham endeavored in vain to overcome. {EP 110.1}
Abraham’s early teachings had not been without effect upon Ishmael, but the influence of his wives resulted in the establishment of idolatry in his family. Separated from his father and embittered by the strife and contention of a home destitute of the love and fear of God, Ishmael was driven to choose the wild, marauding life of the desert chief, “his hand against every man, and every man’s hand against him.” Genesis 16:12. In his latter days he repented and returned to his father’s God, but the stamp of character given to his posterity remained. The powerful nation descended from him were a turbulent, heathen people. {EP 110.2}
The wife of Lot was a selfish, irreligious woman, and her influence was exerted to separate her husband from Abraham. But for her, Lot would not have remained in Sodom. The influence of his wife and the associations of that wicked city would have led him to apostatize from God, had it not been for the faithful instruction he had early received from Abraham. {EP 110.3}
No one who fears God can without danger connect himself with one who fears Him not. “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” Amos 3:3. The happiness and prosperity of marriage depends upon the unity of the parties; but between the believer and the unbeliever there is a radical difference of tastes, inclinations, and purposes. However pure and correct one’s principles, the influence of an unbelieving companion will have a tendency to lead away from God. {EP 110.4}
He who has entered marriage while unconverted is by his conversion placed under stronger obligation to be faithful to his companion, however they may differ in religious faith. Yet the claims of God should be placed above every earthly relationship, even though trials and persecution result. The spirit of love and fidelity may win the unbelieving one. But marriage with the ungodly is forbidden in the Bible. “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers.” 2 Corinthians 6:14, 18. {EP 111.1}
Before One Marries
Isaac was inheritor of the promises through which the world was to be blessed; yet when forty years of age he submitted to his father to choose a wife for him. And the result of that marriage is a tender and beautiful picture of domestic happiness: “Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.” {EP 111.2}
Young people too often feel that the bestowal of their affections is a matter in which self alone should be consulted. They think themselves competent to make their own choice, without the aid of their parents. A few years of married life usually show them their error, but too late. The same lack of wisdom and self-control that dictated the hasty choice is permitted to aggravate the evil, until marriage becomes a galling yoke. Many thus wreck their happiness in this life and their hope of the life to come. {EP 111.3}
If ever the Bible was needed as a counselor, if ever divine guidance should be sought in prayer, it is before taking a step that binds persons together for life. {EP 111.4}
Parents should never lose sight of their responsibility for the future happiness of their children. While Abraham required his children to respect parental authority, his daily life testified that that authority was not selfish or arbitrary, but was founded in love and had their welfare and happiness in view. {EP 112.1}
Fathers and mothers should guide the affections of youth that they may be placed upon suitable companions. Mold the character of the children from their earliest years that they will be pure and noble, attracted to the good and true. Let love for truth, purity, and goodness be early implanted in the soul, and youth will seek the society of those who possess these characteristics. {EP 112.2}
Let parents seek to exemplify the love of the heavenly Father. Let home be full of sunshine. This will be worth more to your children than lands or money. Let the home love be kept alive in their hearts, that they may look back upon the home of their childhood as a place of peace and happiness next to heaven. {EP 112.3}
True love is a high and holy principle, altogether different from that love which, awakened by impulse, suddenly dies when severely tested. In the parental home youth are to prepare themselves for homes of their own. Let them here practice self-denial, kindness, courtesy, and Christian sympathy. {EP 112.4}
He who goes out from such a household to stand at the head of a family will know how to promote the happiness of her whom he has chosen as a companion for life. Marriage, instead of being the end of love, will be only its beginning. {EP 112.5}