My relationships with women have always been strained, unorthodox, complicated, which I guess isn’t that uncommon. But whose relations with the opposite gender or love life, dating life is easy? Likely very few…
The first girl I can remember asking out, back when I was ten or eleven, was this girl I had a massive crush on for months. She was this cute, quiet brunette in my class, who I’d finally gotten the nerve to ask out.
Buffalo Bangkok: Juvenile Delinquent As we rode the bus back to school, after a field trip to an early Florida pioneer settlement, several other kids were asking their crushes out, so I figured, what the hell, why not, and I walked over, confidently, strutting like a movie star, and I asked my dream girl out. But my dream girl wouldn’t be mine, tragically, and, with a look of shock, she asked me if I was joking, her eyes squinting, her lip upturned in revulsion.
I told her it was a joke, to save face and to lessen the blunt force of the mental trauma, and I scurried off, dejectedly, so I could go lick my psychic wounds.
Oh yeah, that one hurt.
I’ll never forget the look she gave me, and the pain of that rejection, how it spiked through me. It was like the pit of my stomach weighed 1000 tons and dropped like an anchor into a sea of shit. There really is nothing worse, no feeling worse for a man, than getting rejected by a girl he asks out, especially if it’s one he’s had a crush on for a while and finally works up the nerve to talk with and then…
But that’s how it is. Feelings aren’t always mutual.
And that’s how it is, being the man, the one who has to make the move, usually.
The man is often the one who has to put himself out there, and as I’ve gotten older, I’ve dealt with rejection easier, since I’m more acutely aware of the brevity, importance of time, and know not to dwell much on failures, waste time being upset. Plus, I know how many lovely ladies there are, all over the world, and if my feelings are unrequited, I let it sting for a night or two and just move on…
That first rejection was a body blow, and I’ve had others, but I’ve always been happier to have taken a chance and failed than not taken a chance at all. Those times I should have tried and didn’t, those sting the worst…
However, it’s not been all bad. In fact, far from it. I’m lucky to have met and spent time with many delightful women, who I cherish having met and whose companionship provided me many of the best times of my life.
Seriously, thinking about it, most of the best times I ever had involved women.
The power of intimacy, physical contact, love, sex, and the magic and softness and the mere touch of a woman, there’s nothing else like it. I can’t imagine the sex
Buffalo Bangkok: Juvenile Delinquent robots that’ll come in the future will ever be able to recreate the true power of a woman…
Despite the challenges of being a man, hell, am I glad to be a man. As much as I love women, I wouldn’t want to be one. Periods, pregnancy, how creepy and rapey dudes can be. I once heard an analogy that having a vagina and being somewhere dangerous is like carrying a briefcase filled with cash. You always have to worry about some piece of shit trying to take it from you… It’s fucked up, but true…
One girl I dated in college told me how premature ejaculation, small dicks, any of that shit, she’d take in a second over being a woman. And I agree with her wholeheartedly- and don’t ask me to riff more on that!
I have the utmost respect and admiration for women. Seriously. And I detest misogynists. Misanthropes I appreciate way more.