CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
INDIA & REBORN
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness
is the attribute of the strong”
Mahatma Gandhi
New Delhi, India – Wow! He was amazed at everything. What a mess! What a dirty place! Crazy traffic! People everywhere! How can people actually like India?
His hotel was near the railway station, and what a mess! He took a day tour in New Delhi and later on at the hotel he met lots of tourists. Tony easily made friends and especially with a couple that he heard talking in Portuguese, and he approached them and invited them to go with him to the Taj Mahal over 100 miles away.
They traveled by bus to the Taj Mahal and when he arrived he was so impressed; it reminded him of his first look at Las Vegas. You had to see it with your own eyes, there were no words to describe the place, the energy that surrounded it, was unbelievable. He did not want to get out! He had lots of fun with the Brazilian couple, who he truly befriended.
A couple of days later the Brazilian couple returned and he went to visit the “Golden Temple” at Amristar 300 miles away. He traveled by train and again came to know that India was something astonishing, somehow the people managed to live a perfect harmony. With all the crazy traffic and a foot on the accelerator and a hand on the horn, they are still happy. During his stay he never saw anyone fighting in the traffic conditions, and the reason for that was everywhere. They managed to live in peace. The symbol of the horn for most Western people is “get away” and in India it is, “I am here” and the horn signal is considered a good thing. He noticed that all of the trucks had on the back bumper, “horn please.”
The Golden Temple was not a tourist attraction built for Westerners but a temple built in 1589 AD. It is the center of the Sikh religion. Like Mecca, Benaras, and Jerusalem for Muslims, Hindus, Christians and Jews, Amritsar is a revered city for Sikhs. But what is the most impressive is the fact that they have hundreds of “gurus” praying twenty four hours a day seven days a week. The energy in this place is something out of this world, for sure. As an expression of their humanity they offer free food to around 20,000 people every day.
He returned to Delhi, where he got sick to his stomach and ended up at the local hospital. He needed to rest for a few days on a very light diet. He locked himself into his hotel room, no TV, no radio, no nothing and started to reflect about his life; he also started to read, “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari” and bingo! He could not believe what he was reading; this is a fable about a lawyer who had a heart attack, went to India and changed his life. What a coincidence. He knew he didn’t have a heart attack, but for sure would have it, if he kept going at that pace. Everything started to make sense; the book made a profound change in Tony. And he feels that he was at the right place and at the right time. All of a sudden the changes naturally started to happen. He started to realize the true value of life, which he had forgotten for some time now. He sent an e-mail to Sharon once again re confirming that he wanted to end their marriage as their mission together had been accomplished.
He decided to travel to Mumbai (old Bombay) and now he read the second book, “The Spirituality of Success….” And boy, everything made so much sense to him; it seemed that those books were tailor made for him. Vincent M. Roazzi, the author, showed in an easy way to understand that success is not a logical thing, that there is no quick fix and it is up to us and only to us to make the change. Tony followed his trip to Calangute, state of Goa and he was now at Baga Beach on the Arabian Sea.
So synchronism happened again in Tony’s life, but this time he didn’t need anyone, or anything to make it happen; he was centered now; he got himself. He realized that he had to see happiness through his own eyes, not through somebody else’s, or based on other “things.” He decided to become REBORN!
He decided to change his life; without notice he became a vegetarian, something completely unacceptable to him in the past, and he felt great with it. Some intuition told him that he knew this would happen some day.
He decided to throw away his big material dreams; he didn’t want to lose energy on big material things anymore. He wanted to live the small things of life; because he knows for sure the big things will come true at the right time!
His main goals from now on will be based on little things like: awakening before sunrise, to go for a walk every day, to do yoga, to dance s few times a week, meditate every day for half an hour and most important of all, to concentrate on managing his days in perfect synchronism with the universe. Somehow he knows this will happen! He believed that his destiny was already written! And it was up to him to find a better way to follow it, this is his free will!
The time went by so quickly. He really enjoyed his days of perfect harmony in India. He regained some incredible new energy and after some time he decided to write to the people at Exbrus in Arica, Chile. He sent a passionate e-mail:
I have been resting for some time now in India, at Calangute, state of Goa at the Baga beach on the Arabic Sea, a place heavily influenced by the Portuguese since the early 1500’s.
Except for the technology India still is the same country it was when the Portuguese arrived hundreds of years ago.
Every day I walked on the beach and always I see these ancient looking fishing boats. The interesting moment comes when they take the boat out of the water. The fishermen tie a rope to the bow, and they get as many as 50 people, depending on the size of the boat, put some rolling pieces of wood under the hull, and everyone pulled the boat out of the water. Many times I ended up helping them as I walked the beach.
You may be asking what that has got to do with anything. Well, I see a lot of similarity in our work. A, fisherman alone could never get the boat out of the water; he only succeeds when everyone pulls together, and sometimes the added strength of one person can make a big difference. This is what I see at Exbrus! We only can go on if everyone is helping. And of course, no need to say that everyone must pull it in the same direction. Some people could work for two, temporarily, but not at all the time and we never would be able to do the work of three people and so on.
And that makes me to think about each one of you, and how important each one is in the process, regardless of your position, be you the person who cleans, or drives the forklift, or answers the phone, or takes care of the accounting, or who sells or who manages. If it wasn’t the force of everyone together we never could go anywhere! And I want to take this moment to thank everyone for all your work, all your dedication, all your creativity, all your thoughts, all your motivation, all your sweat and your will!
Without this we could never get where we are today! And look how much we have grown in such a little time, and we keep growing, and I am sure we will grow even more.
I would like also to take this opportunity to ask everyone to forgive me for any acts, words our gestures that some how offended anyone. I believe that a true man is the one who assumes his mistakes, and learns from it, and follows his path, and once more I would like to apologize to all: I am sorry for my mistakes.
Soon I will be back, with a motivation and inspiration level you probably had never seen before. Never in my life have I been so determined to make this company a great success! But for that, just like the fishermen, I can not do it alone; I need all of you to help me! Believe me, it will be lots of work ahead and I want you to be a part of that and grow together with the company, financially and spiritually!
My door will always be open to all of you, with no exception, not to interfere with your jobs, but to hear suggestions, ideas or anything that may make our job better!
Another day I read in a book, that the true leader is not one who manages people, but one who makes new leaders! It is my wish to make all of you leaders!
He also made a list of his friends and enemies and sent each one an e-mail message, apologizing for his acts, words and gestures and also he forgave each one as well. He needed to go on with his life. He was thankful for his learning through the process!
And here I am sitting at a shack on the beautiful Arabian Sea talking to Tony, who I met a few days ago and who has told me his story. I decided to write this book because I found his experiences incredible and it is my belief that he could help people, through his experiences, mistakes and successes. A real story based on true facts, well lived with lots of passion and enthusiasm, where he has made many mistakes and learned plenty!
Now Tony, tell me, do you have any regrets?
No, absolutely not; all my decisions were based on the information I had available at the moment and even if it was wrong, my decisions were right. How many things could I change, if I could come back in time knowing what I know today? Perhaps I will be living another life, I would not have the opportunities to learn, and as much as I have learned, I realize that we know so little. The learning process makes you feel like a grain in the sand in this infinite universe. We are so tiny!
If I have any regrets they would be the things I have not done (which were very few), because I never will know the outcome of it. I believe that we have to hear our heart and do what God tells us to do. Fly like a butterfly, it is fun!
How about the people who took advantage of you?
From the depths of my heart I forgive everyone and I thank them for the learning experience. Believe me it would be easy to blame our lives on people, circumstances or things, but I would have stopped in time and never would have learned anything! It’s like being dead. I believe the purpose of life is to learn.
Tell me about your experiences, learned lessons, for example your controller side.
For a long time I believed that was just right, and controlled everybody around me. After all I was better than everyone, I had more experience and did what I believed was best for everyone. Of course, I always had the best of intentions. But intentions alone do not work.
Some time ago I decided to give my mother a brand new car. I had always wanted to do this. I knew what car, what brand, what color, what equipment, etc. When I gave her the car she was upset with me. I did not understand anything at the time. What did I learn? Before you give anything to anyone, especially family, ask permission to give, I believe that is the way it works!
When Kate Garden from the orphanage asked me to help her to build two new classrooms, since I knew all about it, I decided to build a whole new orphanage. When things went down and I could not help her anymore, she also was very upset at me, and told me: “All I have asked you for were two classrooms, now I have this entire new building to take care of, why did you do it?”
What did I learn? When you are going to give something to someone do not give more than they asked for. If possible give a little less. When you give more they will not like you better, and would think that there is no limit about what they can ask of you. So, next time give them what they ask for and no more.
Being a controller I was determined to do what was good for everyone. The thing is this, when you make a decision for other people, first you are calling them stupid! You’re basically saying that they do not have enough knowledge to resolve the problem, and that you will take the effects of the decision you have made for them. If your decision is OK you did just right, but if things go wrong you will take all the responsibility and blame. With time you will discover that whomever you made a decision for will become handicapped, always depending on you to make their decisions, and by so doing you make them lose the best thing, the learning that comes from life.
What did I learn? The only person you should make decisions for is yourself, the only exception to the rule, is your children. In a few areas, I believe they should learn to make their own decisions from a very young age. If people ask, and only if they ask, you give your opinion, but never make any decisions for them. That belongs to each one of us. I learned to take care of myself only and myself first. Having flown many times they still show you how to use the oxygen mask, right? They always show that you must put your own mask on first, and then help others. That is the perfect example of how we should take care of our lives. Although society’s codes give us the wrong message all the time, we should believe that we are the center of the universe. That is the way! Be in control of your own life only! Only after helping yourself are you truly in a position to help others. And again, remember to help only when asked, give only what was asked and if you insist in helping, ask permission to help.
How about this theory of seeing happiness thought the eyes of people you like?
Well, that was a big one for me! Somehow I learned that was the way! And being a controller helped, but boy, what a surprise. Look back at my life; every time I made the woman I loved happy, I was happy but when they were not happy anymore, I crashed every time!
Lesson learned: I was looking for happiness outside. Instead of looking inside, I was in search of the happiness outside, first in people, and second in things or possessions. When you base your happiness outside, you have no control and for sure you will fall, when they were not there for me anymore. I was afraid to be alone. I always need it to have someone, or something, so I would not stay alone. I was afraid of me! But knowing me now, it is so different, I actually like me, and it is fun to be with me now. I don’t need anyone or things to make me happy anymore.
How about Success and Failure?
These are for sure the major ingredients that move us to our destiny. If you look as an observer you will notice that it is all the same, success and failure are opposite forces that moves us to our destinations. Because the pain of failure is much more noticed we learned a lot more with our failures. I believe the best way to go on is to learn in the process. To make a great success of our learning opportunities whether they are from success or failure. And of course try to learn as much from success so that it keeps coming to you. The thing is success has no pain, and we just accept it, as truth. We really should learn the process of success just like we do through our failures; I know for a fact it is much more fun.
How do you see destiny?
I believe that before we came to visit this planet, we have made plans for us while here. I believe it has already been written, it is up to us to make it easy or hard. And it is my understanding that the Creator is this very patient guy, since he knows nothing about time, you could do everything in one lifetime, or you could take a thousand lifetimes before you complete your mission here. So this is your free will: You can do it in circles (like I have), you can bounce to one side (I did that as well), and then be bounced to other side and so on. You will accomplish your mission regardless. So why not start it now.
How about the Envy force?
This is perhaps the biggest negative force on earth, and all of us did it somehow or was a victim of it. Did you know that when you admire someone, or want to be just like that person this is an envy form? Whey we say, if I only had this… this is another form of envy. And it goes on; the only way to minimize this force is related to your capacity for helping others. I believe having empathy for others, to be a good listener, to learn the true meaning of integrity and to help many people unconditionally is the best way to help keep this force away.
How about the hate?
Who of us haven’t suffered from this evil force? The challenge is this: Everything we give to the universe, comes back to us, and normally double! So we must remember this, every time we get that feeling of hate! I know this is crazy, but we are humans, and sometimes it is almost uncontrollable. You saw my own experiences with hate and anger. I let it go and it came back to me hard! We must try to control our emotions, not make any decisions when we are mad, wait until the next day, let the flame turn off, do not play the game they intend. You see, if you do not get it, it comes back to whoever tries to give it you. When somebody throws hate and anger at us, we must return love, empathy, patience and comprehension. Believe me that would make a difference.
How about the fear?
I believe that fear only exists in our minds, and I believe that a person, who puts fear in front of anything, loses a unique chance to live life at the fullest! Why are we here? Why not learn more? Why not dare to try? Why not go for your dreams? Think what is the worst that could happen? Of course, I am not talking about the fear of jumping off of a bridge; I am talking about this fear created by our mind, and holds back most people from otherwise accomplishing many things.
How about the word “No”
Next time someone says “No” to you watch the signs. Ninety percent of the times people are saying; tell me more, show in other ways, convince me. And for sure learn to say “No” without fear when your heart tells you to do it!
Why to wake up before sunrise?
All of the technology and gadgets of the modern world makes us lazy. It has been proven that you don’t need to sleep more than six hours a day; when you program yourself to wakeup before sunrise. First, for sure your day will be more productive, and at this time where the sun meets the moon you will discover the highest level of energy available to you. Now, the best of all, the picture of the sunrise that most people miss is something unbelievably unique and beautiful. Nature provides a different show every day, try it out, you will be surprised.
Why Yoga?
It is a millenary art! Yoga helps to develop our concentration and meditation, and it is very good exercise for our body.
Now vegetarian! Isn’t this too radical?
Another day I heard the following: if you buy a racing horse for a million of dollars, would you care about the food you give to it? Of course I would! Now how about you, how much are your worth?
Don’t you think you may be wisest to watch what you eat?
I have also read that, “You are what you eat” is a slogan that I love to use to show the mental aspect of vegetarianism. When animals are slaughtered, fear and aggression enzymes are shot into their cells from their glands and other organs, just as in humans, and are part of the dead carcass that goes on to the food store. They remain in the meat until the consumer ingests those same enzymes, which are molecularly very similar to those found in humans. Fruits and vegetables do not have emotions; therefore, when they are picked they do not release any emotion cells prior to digestion. The enzymes within fruits and vegetables supply the body with sufficient nutrients that will always uphold a healthy state of mind.
Have you ever seen what happens to a piece of meat that stays in the sun for three days? Meat can stay in the warmth of the intestine for at least four days until it is digested. It does nothing but wait for passage. Often, it usually stays there for much longer, traces remaining for up to several months.
Somehow I knew that someday I would convert to vegetarianism, it would be impossible some time ago, I could not see myself without meat. The incredible thing for me was the taste of the food I eat now, I can taste it so good, it’s like the first time I have ever eaten every time. Not mentioning the weight I lost. I am just telling how I feel about it. It is not my intention to make people to feel wrong other ways, I believe that you just find for yourself, and if it is right will come to you, at the right time.
Now how about dancing?
I know it sounds funny, and lot of guys think of it as a feminine thing, but in truth it is a way to communicate with the higher force! All the great masters practice to dance.
How about the thoughts?
Did you know that every day we have sixty thousand thoughts, and that 95% of these thoughts you have thought the day before? So in reality, that’s how everything starts in the thought process. We are what we think all the time! If you think something is going to go wrong, guess what? It will! This is perhaps the most important of all, to be aware of our thoughts and control them. We should not have any negative thoughts, we should have only positive thoughts, and we do it by selecting the kind of information that goes in to our mind. The secret is through meditation we can minimize the number of thoughts, so we have more connection time with the creator force.
How about the Meditation?
After sex I believe this is the next big force available to man, to meditate is to silence the mind, no thinking about anything, in connection with the Creator. It is very hard to silence the mind, but with persistence we can do it! We should meditate every day, at least for half an hour. I learned a lot from the book, “Meditation: Achieving Inner Peace and Tranquility in Your Life” by Brian Weiss. It teaches you how to meditate and comes with a CD; it is very good and worthwhile.
How about love and future relationships?
Love? I always will believe in relationships! They teach us and make us grow. I believe that a man without a woman loses his motivation. The woman, love and sex help to bring the best of life. The power of love and sex to this day has not yet been fully discovered and I believe it to be the highest force in this universe. I do not believe anymore in formal relationships, because the day you sign a document, you are putting an end to it, as nobody belongs to anybody. Everyone must be like a bird out of the cage; you must be able to fly, if it is yours it will come back, if not it was never intended to be yours. How long it will last does not depend entirely on us, love comes and goes whenever it pleases, it can last one month, one year or a lifetime. I will not be the “Don Juan” that I always was, I will let the wind blow and show me the way. I have a feeling that it will be someone who cherishes the same values I do!
Tell me about what you understand about the power of Sex.
Of course, like I said before, I don’t believe there is a higher force than sex and love together, but sex alone could be great, as long it is conceived by both, should be used to the fullest, with no preconceptions, at any time, any place. There is no limit to the imagination so be open to new experiences. The big challenge is the misleading concept imposed by our society’s codes and religions, where sex is a sin, specially applied to the woman! Forget it. This does not exist! The sin would be not to use this wonderful thing given to us! Go ahead, have fun.
How do you see the Woman?
To me, women are the most powerful beings in the universe! Luckily they don’t realize this! A woman who knows how to use her sensuality, that knows how to be feminine, regardless of her beauty or age, she has no idea what power she has over men, as a matter of fact if you look at history, all great men had a woman by his side and the conquering only happened when they were together in love, and when the loves finishes, everything goes. Look at my experiences.
How do you see the means of information?
Information is one of the things that grows so fast in our world. It is Radio, TV, Newspaper, Internet, Books, Magazines, etc. I believe we have to be very careful about all the information we allow to enter to our minds. It normally works like this: bad information is free, and is everywhere. Look around, TV, newspaper, etc., 90% is bad information. This is the challenge. When we accept all this information in our minds; it takes away our capacity for creativity and imagination and replaces it with worries. And since our thoughts make our reality, this has been proved by quantum physics, and if we get all this bad information we will create bad things for sure.
I remember I used to check in to a hotel room and turn on the TV, usually to CNN.
I would get nightmares sometimes, just by hearing all the bad news. See, information comes to us on the need basis. We do not have to worry about looking for it in any of those means of communication, believe me it will find you. Just as this book got in to your hands, this is not a coincidence.
And how about the synchronism? Are you still a believer?
This is my biggest search! You probably already had one of those days where everything was perfect from the time you get up. Everything goes right, it seems like the universe is conspiring to help us. I believe this to be the big secret of life, the eternal synchronism; this is for sure the biggest success we can achieve in our lives. The synchronism, which most monks achieve. My goal in life is to live every day in perfect synchronism and that’s what I wish for you as well: That your every day will be lived in perfect harmony.
And how about Tony’s determination?
Thanks to the Creator, this force overflows in me! This is the force we need to achieve our dreams, to never give up no matter what. We must focus on what we want and go on, don’t ever go back; forward is the way! And that will give you self- confidence as well.
How do you perceive “Time?”
Einstein already said that time does not exist! I believe it! Time was given to us, so we can learn the experiences; without it we’d have no learning. Have you ever had that strange sensation known as “Déjà vu”? Already felt that you knew a place, but you’ve never been there before? Notice when you met your friends. You knew that he or she would be your friend, and it is the same with enemies. It is my belief that somehow, sometimes we hit a major event for us, all of a sudden for one nanosecond we lose our sense of time and thus this sensation. So the best way of handling time, is to understand that it is not past or future, the only thing real is here and now! So just live every day, every moment like it was your last one.
How about Past and Future?
Does not exist! Remember that time was given to us to learn, we must always remember this. The past is gone, it is like a good book you read and when you’re done, you put it on the shelf, you can come back some time to review it, it’s OK but we must let it go. And the future is the new book to be written, and we can only write with the power of here and now. We have no control of past or future, but we have full control of here and now!
So what is Real?
Here and now. This is all we really have; it’s with the power of here and now that we create everything, with this force you can manipulate just about everything; literally nothing is impossible, you take the calls. But it must be done here and now. So remember this is the only real thing in our life and it is up to us make it a complete success our failure! We decide it!
How about the power of imagination?
This is where everything begins, we must let it flow from us, with no worries, and go whatever it takes us. Believe me it will take you to your destiny.
Stop for a minute, wherever you are, and look around you. Everything you see or touch was some day the fruit of the imagination of someone, even our planet, the universe was created by imagination! I believe that my mission in this world is to show that every one of us is a son of the Creator, and as his children we have the power of the creation. It has been given to us to be used; we all have it, no exception! And I firmly believe that my mission here is to make you aware of that!
How about philanthropy?
For sure I will keep up with my charities, but not the mega actions of the past. I believe that all the successful men of this world know the importance of helping others, but you must do it according to what is asked of you... Give to others only what was asked, never, ever more. And I will never again put all my eggs in one basket. I will donate to several institutions through our foundation. And the most important every day I will give according to God’s will, no matter how small, either with money, gesture or thoughts. What is interesting is that it feels so good to give; it makes you feel like a kid who just got a lollypop. So next time someone asks for a coin at the traffic light, go for it. Share that feeling!
How about the power of money, how do you see it now?
Oh boy, I messed up! I did not respect the power of money as you have seen in my life. Always sharing with everyone, everything. See, to me money always came so easily that I never stopped to look at this, and I always believed that was the same for everyone. And it is not!
Lesson learned: You should respect the power of money; don’t think of it as a material thing but as a form of energy that exists and it is so real. When it comes to you, you should always save a portion of it. First, it makes you feel so good when you have it and gives you self-confidence. Second, the money you earn is yours and don’t share it with anyone, including your family, friends, etc. Nobody needs to know if you have it, or how much you have. Remember, only your ego will benefit if you talk to others. And worst of all, the more you talk the more negative envy feelings will be attracted. So only share it if is extremely important, and you have 110% trust in the person! Odds are the person who is your friend today, may be your enemy tomorrow. Also, when others know about it they will have a thousand ways to help you to spend it, so never forget that you are the only one to decide about it. Love the money and respect it. Believe that it will help you a lot.
How you understand the EGO now?
I tell you JoySun, that was a major one for me! Fasten you seat belts and hear my findings:
Ego in my opinion is like software. Try to imagine it for a moment. Think of your body as a computer, and of course to operate, we need software, and in our case the software is called ego. It comes in nine versions and each version has three subtypes. Wow! You must be thinking where did I get this. So let me give you some feedback:
The concept of the nine personality types (I call it software versions) has elements rooted in several traditional teachings such as t