BOTINI

TO

BELLBOWRIE

 

 

ROADS TAKEN IN LIFE

 

REWARDING ROUTES REVEALED

 

By

Dr Ram Lakhan Prasad

 

 

September, 2019

 

 

 

 

Dr Ram Lakhan Prasad began his creative writing in 1952 while at High School and by 2019 he has written and published over fifty of his publications and these have included his novels, collections of essays, short stories and poems as well as a few invocations.

All of his publications can be read online.

 

 

 

Copyright Publication

Dr Ram Lakhan Prasad

August 2019

 

 

 

 

 

Published online www.freeebooks.net.com

 

DEDICATION

We dedicate this publication to all our children and grandchildren

Praanesh & Ranitta

Praneeta & Shalendra

Harshita & Naresh

Rohitesh & Winnie

Jaya & Murli

Jay & Luta

Jaya, Meera, Hamish, Jayden, Anjali, Sonali, Elliot, Charlotte,

Nirav, Aayush, Emmanuel, Nishtha

 

Sometimes we love our children too much that we try to protect them from all the hurts in the world, including disappointment. We realized that this is often a disappointment in itself.

 

 

CONTENTS

I Foreword by Jagdeesh Ram Sahay

II Prologue

III Roads Taken In Life

VI Rewarding Routes Revealed

V My Life & If

VI Reflections On Healthy Living

VII Change

VIII Truth, Beauty & Goodness

IX We Love the Life we Live

X Self-Compassion & Retreat

Xi My Strengths

XII My Last Words

XIII Conclusion

XIV Acknowledgements

XV Epilogue by Vijendra Keshwanand

XVI References

1. FOREWORD

By Jagdeesh Ram Sahay

Former Principal of Dudley High School, Suva, Fiji.

 

 

The writer Dr Ram Lakhan Prasad, son of a rural farming community in Botini, Nadi, Fiji has travelled through a winding uphill road encountering myriads of pot holes on a dirt road, finally reaching the Motorways of Brisbane. He was destined to triumph and achieve Nirvana. Our proud son of Fiji has told many tales, none as gripping and profound as this one. With an ardent spirit within him our courageous fighter managed to overcome many adversities and has reached his goals.

My association with Dr Prasad goes back to Natabua High, a Select Government boarding school where we had inspiring teachers and great colleagues. We then joined the Teachers’ College, a great place to mix and learn with our Indigenous Fijian students and go out to serve the community. Our first posting was in rural Labasa, the friendly north where we served and learned a lot to adjust our life.

Roads Taken In Life, his 50th publication is a gem. It presents reflections of a seasoned traveller who is kind enough to share his wealth of ideas and experiences, gathered in his search for the meaning and purpose of life. Dr Prasad shares knowledge and strategies acquired in a lifetime, empowering him and his readers to discover Truth, Love, Goodness and Peace.

He is forever grateful to God, his teachers, his family members, other people around him and institutions he was associated with for providing him a supportive environment.

Every chapter dwells on a crucial element in the strategies used to work out solutions. All the way there are diyas (little lamps) illuminating the path to success, rekindling hopes and refuelling aspirations. The guiding principles are reinforced. The significance of other elements in this volume includes the power of silence and controlling anger. It is claimed that we can draw strength from within which will ignite the flame of motivation.

Chapter 8 examines how truth, beauty and goodness are the essence of our humanity. Ravindranath Tagore’s ideas are analysed and show how important they are in making the right choices to take the right road in life.

Traveling with Dr Prasad we get to know him quite closely as he lets us in on his inner thoughts and goodwill towards all. The human values proclaimed, preached and practised by devotees of various Saints amply resonates the values in this book.

At the end of this journey the readers will be refreshed not exhausted but inspired to make resolutions to get into a positive mind set and awaken the humanity within us. We will appreciate the life we have and the opportunities to become better and do more for those in need.

 

Jagdeesh Ram Sahay.

 

 

2. PROLOGUE

MY LIFE HAS BEEN A ‘CONSTRUCTION IN PROGRESS’

 

There have been a few moments in my life when I was sad, hurt, angry, mad and even disappointed but I had the courage and tenacity to put on a happy face and move on living my life knowing fully well that it was God’s gift and was short. I knew and understood that many things in real life would hurt but I had the confidence that I will survive. For me almost all my disappointments were just God’s way of saying “‘I have got something much better for you, my son. Be patient, live and love your life, have faith in Me and yourself and hope for the better.”

So I began to develop faith and have hope but I never expected and even looked forward to have a pleasant life but never waited for it. I believed in the maxim – come what may. I had a wonderful family, many faithful friends but very early in life I learnt never to trust anyone who would let me down more than twice. I knew that such deceitful conduct for the first time was a warning and if that happened twice it became a lesson for me. However, anything more than that I realised was simply taking advantage of that valuable human institution of friendship.

There were a few moments when I was infested with pain and each pain I endured made me stronger, each betrayal enabled me to become more intelligent and of course each disappointment in life made me more skilful. They all became my good experiences that went on to make me a little wiser, a bit better human being. There was never any rush for me to acquire success in life because I learnt to take life easy but with care and caution. This meant that I would not be disappointed because there was always a firm belief that I had not yet reached my full potential. I had many opportunities to try again within my life time.

Then there was a very solid notion that I developed mid-stream in life and that was that no matter how much love I had for my family, possession or people, in the end when love fades away or your loved one passes away or you lose your valuable possession you do get disappointed. That is the time to take stock of the situation and learn to overcome. Thus, even if I loved my family, my children and my possessions too much and tried my best to protect them from any hurt, downfall or loss and disappointments in this competitive world, I realised that this was often a disappointment itself. So gradually I became a careful and meticulous reader, thinker and researcher to prepare myself for a life full of shocking realities and disappointments.

Consequently I slowly and surely became my own sculptor to chisel away and to create the meaningful workings of my life rather than sit down in the corner brooding with disappointment when anything was not done properly and according to my liking. My whole life has been ‘construction in progress’ and I always realised and kept remembering myself and reminding myself that there was still a lot to do and create a better future for me.

In this publication that I have titled “ROADS TAKEN IN LIFE I have tried to reveal the rewarding part of my living and hope that the readers will not only enjoy this but try to appreciate some of my revelations.

As I said before if I did not read as much as I did, I would have had to prepare myself for a life full of shocking realities and disappointments. I thank my teachers for giving me the tools to read and write. They enabled me to become my own sculptor to chisel away and create my life and I always remembered that our life is our own work in progress and definitely there is still a lot more to reveal and do a little better than I was able to do.

I first began blogging and writing things as the start of something new in my life. My ambitions were to finally compose my thoughts, share my passions and inspire my readers to revel in the beauty of each day. Thus I completed A Slice Of Life last year for my readers.

I did mention in almost all of my creations that each year-end has marked a new beginning for me and to keep my spirit and determination unshaken I always made it sure to establish and have the faith and the courage to achieve everything I often desired.

My parents told me that on the road to success the rule is always to look ahead with confidence. I began my journey of life a long time ago and have almost completed my destination. My journey has been rewarding and wonderful and I thank all my people for giving the opportunities, motivating me and putting the needed inspiration in my life.

Wishes have been an important part of my life for both giving and receiving them and even during this final publication I am tempted to wish all my family, friends and colleagues the very best of everything. I only hope and wish that all of my books are not only read and appreciated well but they leave some important messages for my loved ones to emulate and enjoy.

 

III. ROADS TAKEN IN LIFE

 

 

I was indeed very privileged to study the famous poem of Robert Frost titled The Road Not Taken * because it gave me opportunities to face many choices that I used to experience in my life. There were pathways in my life that were well trodden by experienced people however there also were other paths that were never used before and I had to inaugurate them myself as per my initiative and skills.

The paths that were already used and proved to be safer, easier and familiar by my elders and wiser teachers were great to follow but all new paths were at most times harder, riskier and unknown but had to be taken in life for good, proper and useful living.       Although Frost regrets that he could not travel the both roads, I on the other hand was able to reverse many of my life’s decisions in order to lead me to new destinations and further move on to the manageable paths. I now feel that had I not studied Robert Frost I may have agreed to keep following the roads that were already taken and had been proved to be safer.

Although the route of our life is sometime twisted and dominated by unexpected twists and turns, however at the end of each day we learn heaps from those ups and downs.      In spite of often finding those roads difficult to cross, there is always a flame of enthusiasm and hope that ensure that we are never lost and so can carry one moving forward at our own pace.

These beliefs have been my flame of motivation that always adequately guided me with bright and strong ideas and advice because I came to know that as long as my hope, enthusiasm and personal motivation reigned within me I realized that there was nothing that could go wrong on all my roads that I have not yet taken.

Consequently, on every route of my life I tried to remain stronger because I had to be; I had to be smarter because I had to overcome my mistakes; I had to be a lot happier because of a few sad occasions that I came to know that sometimes bothered me and then above all I had to remain alert and wiser because I was out on a mission to learn the skills and knowledges that I urgently needed to keep moving ahead in life.

There never was a time that my strengths only came from my winning streaks because often I had to struggle to develop my strengths. Of course, I knew that when I was going through a few hardships in life I had no choice to surrender. Thus my personal strengths kept on developing and becoming useful to me. I always was ready and willing to take a chance and hope for the best in life.

I used to tell myself from an early age not to lose hope because when the sun went down every day, then either the moon or the stars came out. I was told by my elders never to give up just because you had a bad time or day, however, take all efforts to learn to forgive yourself and try your best to do a lot better the next day or tomorrow.

My life was full of love ever since I woke up to my duties and responsibilities so I never felt any lack of that human feeling and hope abound my life therefore I was in harmony with everyone I was able to interact with. I have now completed my 80 years of human interaction and am in a good position to leave a few valuable words for all my those good and faithful friends who may wish to treasure them.

Firstly, I know that it is useless complaining about the rose bushes of our garden that they have thorns because we have an excellent alternative to rejoice that in that shrub all the thorns have pretty roses.

Secondly, I would advise my people not to rest when they grow old because by doing so one can become weak and incapable and may even become senile so I would rather be active after I have reached my retirement age than to rest and rust. If we do not properly use our muscles and lie down all the time then there is a possibility that our muscles cannot even adequately carry our weight. It would be difficult to stand, walk or do a lot of things that are necessary for us.

Even our brain is developed in the same way and if we do not use it well to think, read, create and speak then there is all likelihood that the brain would regress to make us senile. Let us remain proactive and active because these are the ways to manage our old age.

Thirdly, I have known and seen many tears in the eyes of my people as well as in my life. There were times when I saw people feeling like there was no use trying anymore and a thought lingered in my mind that there was nothing else left to lose because I had lost everything. This is the time I decided to take one bolder step forward and moved two steps back. That moment of reconciliation made me see a lot more that the ordinary eye could reveal.

Then a little further down the road that I had not yet taken I began to see the sun shine brighter than before again. I then began to see clearly where I had been and how I faltered. This was the time to take stock and adjust. I began to see quite clearly how far I had travelled in life and how I managed my progress. I then knew that I had found another well used road to follow and was able to gather all the needed strength to keep going.

Then I have said this in my essays elsewhere and I think it is worth repetition here once again. Life is meant to love and live not just to keep spending it without any real concern and attachments.

 

Jindagi pyar se jeene ke liye hai sirf kaatne ke liye hargiz nahi hai ya jidhar jaaye udhar jaane ke liye nahin hai.

 

This is an opportune time for me to talk about a few things that I always attempted doing in my life in order to live it and love it well enough to enjoy the roads I was ready to take in my life. I have always admired silent nature in life because from the word silent I was able to extract listen and develop an ability to listen well enough to live well.

Very early in life I realized that we live in a world where we are inundated with sounds throughout the day. Some of the sounds are pleasant whereas some are not so pleasant. In this complex and busy living we very rarely experience silence. I think that this matters a lot of happy living. In order to take the right path in life silence gradually became a reality for me because of various reasons.

I realized that silence ultimately stimulated my brain growth: I found out that a minimum of at least two hours of silence in a day resulted in giving me a lot of needed peace because it helped me in my creation of new ideas and gave me an opportunity to learn and recall knowledge.

I also found out that noise affected my stress levels – raising cortisol and adrenaline whereas silent moments could easily relieve tension in just a few minutes. So gradually silence became more “relaxing” for my body and brain and listening to soothing music slowly helped me lower blood pressure and increase blood flow to the brain.

Of course, regular periods of silence throughout the day assisted me enhance sleep and lessen insomnia. I had read and heard advice about “winding down” before bed and soon began to apply it to myself. Research throughout the 20th century has linked noise pollution to an increase in heart disease and tinnitus. The World Health Organization likened it to a “modern plague" and I tried my best to adhere to this sound advice as far as practicable.

There was always an increase in awareness and more time for personal reflection when I moved through silent periods in my life. Thus I managed to find an adequate space to listen to my inner voice and make measured decisions. Thus I was able to focus better. This seems pretty obvious but how many of us try to finish a report surrounded by noise and/or noisy and disturbing colleagues. I could never mix my studies with noise and found that this was unhelpful.

For me lowering the sensory input helped me to restore my cognitive resources because naturally I stopped feeling overwhelmed. I could then tap into my creativity and could daydream, fantasize and meditate to develop my skills to write short stories and poems. When I allowed myself this quiet reflective time I found that many of life’s profound things and emotions of my life rolled along easily all because of silent moments.

“The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind.” So wrote Caroline Myss. From very early in my life I tried to achieve this consistently doing at least ten minutes of breathing exercise that I conducted in total silence. This calmed me down and allowed me to focus on many tasks at hand. Consequently I started to easily prioritize well so that all my unnecessary tasks became just as unnecessary.

To conclude this section of my essay a favourite quote of mine is attributed to Abraham Lincoln: “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.” This last point is that we need to learn that silence is often the best strategy not only for ourselves but for others, too. Not everyone wants to hear your opinion and before we speak we should ask ourselves, “Who does this benefit? Is this kind? Do I need to say it?” So I gradually learned to speak only when I felt that my words were better than silence.

Therefore, silence is undoubtedly golden and good for our healthy living and we should try to develop and build all forms of silence into everyday life in order to reap its numerous benefits and rewards. These comments make me remember what Deepak Chopra advises us “There is no substitute for the creative inspiration, knowledge, and stability that comes from knowing how to contact your core of inner silence.”

 

IF IT IS TO BE IT IS UP TO ME

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

IV. REWARDING ROUTES REVEALED

 

I now feel that I need to reveal all the rewarding routes of my life. Very early in my life and during my entire growing up I was told by my elders and my wise teachers that since I was not still wearing the same clothes or driving the same car as I was two decades ago, then there was no reason whatsoever as to why I should still be punishing myself with the same outdated beliefs. To change and renew my beliefs was a normal human phenomenon because change is a constant adventure; I was made to believe that all roads in life lead to prosperity if we have hope and faith in our future.

My early childhood growing up was a process of normal human development but it was mainly in a rural environment, in an extended family surrounding and at educational institutions that had quality teachers. I too as a young enthusiastic youth wanted to be as normal as possible in all my physical, spiritual, academic and social growing up so that I too could easily and perfectly fit in the community I was interacting with.

I was very fortunate that I was always well accepted by everyone around me as a normal young person. Since I was growing up in healthy environment I was greatly inspired, motivated and influenced by my colleagues. Consequently, with this natural acceptance I did not have any worry and cared so much about what others thought about me. I knew and believed that I was a different individual and in many respects a unique personality that made me awesome in my own way of thinking. I lived on and kept making my way ahead.

That thought of being good, bad or ugly never came to me and so I just kept working hard to achieve whatever was good, truthful and beautiful for me and my community that I interacted with. Comments, criticisms and statements of any support or correction made me become stronger and try harder to achieve better results in all the things I was engaged in.

All these developmental tasks turned into a self-fulfilling prophesy for me and kept creating a continuous feeling of looking ahead with positive thinking and try my best to overcome all fears, failures and worries that could have held me back from moving ahead in the twenty first century. I began to firmly believe that I was good enough to try my best at all times and if ever any failures did arise in my path they were just a normal part of my learning and development. I did look back to assess my road that I had taken and make the future route a lot more comfortable and rewarding.

I am heavily indebted to all my formal and informal educational and human developmental agencies such as my grandparents, parents, members of the extended family, my siblings, my colleagues and friends as well as my so many wise and quality teachers who guided and helped me in my total growing up process. They all in their own different and individual ways enabled me to have a useful and enlightened mindset to effectively torpedo my happiness and progress in life.

I read and appreciated the words of Flo Leighton who wrote that many people overestimate the probability that they will not do well or assume a negative result which can lead you to avoid doing things altogether or not put forth your best effort. However, trying something new was always worthwhile even if I did not get it exactly right the first time. I kept trying harder and moving ahead in life without fear after reading the poem of T H Palmer titled Try Try Again ** and Rabindranath Tagore's poetry Where The Mind Is Without Fear.***

While going smoothly on this rewarding route of my life I tried my best not to let anyone feel or say that my work or living was unacceptable and not worthy of my efforts. I tried my best to ensure that my performance at home, community, school and at work was always kept at an acceptable and realistic level.

In fact I was always happy with all the constructive and critical reviews and criticism on all my activities and these enabled me to make my work the best it could possibly remain. It does not mean that I was always right or I did the best at all times. Of course, there were times and occasions when I was not at the top of the lot, however, I was pleased with my efforts. There were times when I was doing better than everyone and there were also moments when others were doing better than me.

Often when I looked at the performance of others my age and vintage it was natural and common sense on my part to think that they are further ahead in the game of living this life than I was and this notion inspired me and encouraged me to get more determined to seek ways and means to excel to my limits and find out how I fell behind rather than get depressed and sit quietly with the urge of comparing my worst with the best efforts of my colleagues. Comparing in this case was never a fair task for me because I wanted to do better and feel that I was as good as any other personality around.

There were a few times and points in my life as if I too did not know what I was doing and so I too began to face and live in a state of crisis. As I grew older and somewhat wiser I learned to stop cursing and shaming myself and became more determined to move on with better choices and efforts than the ones I made and embraced in the past. I went on to motivate myself to be a more competent, a lot more realistic and reasonable person and believed that I could effectively handle my growing up.

Every morning when I woke up I had to revive and revise my purpose in life rather than be satisfied with my old reason to live a fulfilling life. I had to open up and believe that there was never only one way or route that will provide effective answers to all my hopes and dreams. I learnt to concentrate on small things in order to achieve big results. So as I was growing older I gave permission to myself to while keep looking for the big answers and solutions I should be satisfied with whatsoever I endeavour to find along the way. Thus it became more important to search and find meaning in my current living than to spend my life searching for meaning without a clear motive and objective.

I was told that everyone has a definite time frame for which they would like to accomplish some important and milestones like going to College, graduating from University or getting married to manage their own family life. I also realised that unfortunately life rarely sticks to our schedule unless we make some serious and determined efforts to move on with it. I did not want to get frustrated only because I did not have these essentials right now and was mindful that the right moment for getting things done was always out there and I needed to keep trying patiently. I believed that if I worked diligently and hard enough I deserved to have all that I hoped for. Feeling entitled to having and acquiring the necessary things in life are hard to come and can set us up for disappointment and financial ruins.

I gradually came to know and then slowly began realising that life was hardly always fair to everyone and the sooner I was able to recognise that no one owed me anything in life, the happier I would become and begin working harder to achieve all I think I need. It came to me that there were no shortcuts in real life and it would take sheer hard and honest work to get whatever I wanted and one thing was certain that I could do things my way.

I was a chubby young person and I wanted to be healthier and happier rather than a certain number on the w