Anyone who contemplates the state of mankind in his own era will notice a decline in the levels of morality and virtue. This situation is ascribed to their negligence of a basic obligation which God enjoined us to observe.
Many communities in the world regard the veil, as used by women in Islamic societies, as a kind of trespass upon women’s freedom and an externally imposed restraint on her. But the fact is that woman’s veiling is the main foundation on which a strong society is based, and in fact ensures its longevity. This is because it preserves the family which is the foundation stone for the entire structure of society. Certainly, when a family is united, with a firm relationship based on love and respect among its members, and the deep emotional ties which the husband and wife commit to during the marriage ceremony, the structure of society will be firmly established and unassailable. On the contrary, when the bonds of love between wife and husband are weakened, and discontent and estrangement replace the former loving ties, and loyalty is replaced with a breach of trust, the ensuing negative emotions will then affect the children, and which will eventually filter through to the rest of society.
The following story illustrates the path that every believer should follow, sparing no effort within the family to avoid any trouble that may lead to damaging effects on him or on his household, and employing his power of logic and thought which is a precious gift granted by Al’lah for man to employ as appropriate, in order to find solutions to any problem that may face us during our lifetime.
Now let us tell the story:
He began to feel tired and hungry and, looking at his watch, he knew the reason why.
Work was over for the day and it was time to go home. The august officer, M. A. Sheikho, stood up and began to tidy away the papers and dossiers he was studying, and then put on his military hat, straightened his clothes and left the office. It was customary for him to work many long hours in his efforts to wipe out criminality, and so he needed to have some rest to be ready to work again in the evening.
He set off in a happy frame of mind to walk towards his home where an air of tranquillity, peace and happiness normally prevailed. The distinguished officer had got married just one week before and as he turned into the lane leading to his house he saw his mother and his wife together near the house, just about to enter it. It was the first time that he had seen his wife outside the home, and when he looked at her attire he was deeply shocked!
At that time women habitually covered their faces with a black veil and wore a loose cloak to cover the entire body from head to toe whenever they left the house. Such veiling ensured that they would not be open to temptation nor would they arouse the instinctive desire of men.
This was the legal form of dress which all women adhered to in previous times. Yet with the passage of time, and the influence of fashionable trends, some changes were made to the loose outer garment, or cloak. The cloak no longer covered the entire body but, instead, the hem might end at mid-calf, leaving the lower part of the legs to be covered with dark stockings or socks. What had shocked Mohammad Amin was the fact that his wife was there before him, in the company of his mother, wearing this new style. He felt himself boiling with anger. However, he managed to control his feelings and quickly moved backwards to hide behind a wall so that they could not see him.
So the two women entered the house without knowing that he was just a few metres away. The officer continued to stand there for a while, pondering the matter; indeed, it was a matter that had truly taken him aback..! It was nothing short of a terrible shock for him. However, he showed no emotional reaction at all, rather he continued to apply a rational process of thought in his search for an appropriate solution to the problem.
This situation was potentially serious. He felt that he should not speak out to his wife about his annoyance at her style of clothing and the fact that he was against it, for this might give rise to friction between them. They were still in the first week of their marriage, and any discord which might arise during this period would likely have a negative effect on their marital bond. This would then be weakened, becoming fragile, and therefore their life together would later be filled with disagreement and contention. It would not be farfetched to imagine that they might eventually resort to divorce as the only solution for a life which had become unbearable.
To avoid these possible outcomes, which he absolutely refused to consider, the humane husband decided not to say anything to his wife about her clothes, and turned to finding a way to manage this matter. He wished to devise a plan that would help him lead her back willingly to using the style of religious clothing which veils the body completely and make her spirit purer and cleaner. In this way the wife would not feel antipathy towards her husband, nor would she be heart-broken if he upbraided her.
Taking this important point into consideration and wishing to take the correct action in this serious situation, the officer returned to his work at the government house. He went directly to his office and sat at his desk, deep in thought, as he endeavoured to find a solution to this delicate situation, once the initial wave of anger had passed and he had calmed down. With true determination, the officer sat lost in thought, determined to come up with a plan that would make his wife conform once again by wearing the proper clothing that all women should wear in public.
More than two and a half hours had passed before a scheme, that pleased God and pleased our officer too, emerged in his mind. Thereupon he stood up and left his office. With a strong will and firm resolution, the officer went to the central market of the city, accompanied by two able-bodied young boys. He first visited butchers’ shops and bought large quantities of different sorts of meat: roast meat, kebab, and other choice pieces. After that he moved on to the shops that sold fruits, sweets and candies, and then to others which stocked delicious titbits, where he bought a great selection of all of them. He purchased everything that he knew to be delicious and tasty in order to please the two women in his household. The two young boys gathered up all these purchases and followed in the steps of the officer as he returned to his home.
When they arrived there, the wise master knocked at the door to announce his arrival and then opened it. He brought in the purchases and gave a big tip to the two youths who were very happy to receive it and went off in a hurry to buy treats for themselves.
The young officer entered the house with a gentle smile on his bright face. He greeted his family and invited them to have lunch together. The two women sat at the table besides their man and began to eat while listening to his gentle words and pleasant conversation. They ate their food and then enjoyed the tasty fruits, sweets, and nuts.
All during the meal the officer regaled them with funny jokes and wonderful stories to the extent that the two women were so happy that they felt themselves raised to the seventh heaven. They could not stop laughing as one amusing story followed another, and they expressed how happy and cheerful they were. They felt as though they had left this earthly existence, as though their house had turned into paradise in the company of this noble angel, and kind and merciful master. They wished that time could be stopped for, indeed, they experienced the most wonderful moments of their life as they sat there. But all good things come to an end and, the time of his evening work was fast approaching so he had to leave them. And so, the officer said goodbye to his mother and wife and then went back to his office leaving them in a state of joyful exhilaration.
A few hours later the humane master returned home once again, but by this time his mood had changed completely! Neither his wife nor his mother could have ever imagined that he might return in such a horrible state! He arrived home with a face that would make men with the stoutest hearts shake in fright. This was the face he normally reserved for meeting with criminals. Indeed he had the expression of a savage lion which no-one would dare to challenge.
He struck the door violently; and when it was opened he stormed in with his face like thunder! His wife was the first to receive the shock. She felt as if the earth had trembled under her feet and thought she might even topple over. She had her heart in her boots; so she cried to herself, ‘Oh my God... what has come over him? What can be wrong?’
Her husband pushed past her without saying a word and went straight into the sitting room, stepping on the precious carpets without first taking off his dusty shoes. He had never behaved in such an ill-mannered way before! He threw himself down on to the sofa as his overwhelming wrath was displayed clearly on his features. It was all so unexpected... a bewildering shock for the women of the house! The mother stood beside the wife in the same state of astonishment, both gazing at their man with questioning eyes, lacking the courage to utter a single word to him. They dared not ask what was troubling him! Ten minutes passed and nothing changed. Absolute silence prevailed throughout the house, interrupted only by his heavy, angry breathing.
In an attempt to break the awful silence, the wife hurried to the kitchen and then returned carrying a small table bearing some food. When she presented it to her husband, his mother, who was still looking at her son with bewildered eyes, said to him, ‘My lovely son! Don’t you want to eat?’
The two women could have anticipated any other kind of behaviour from their man except that which took place at that moment. His reaction was so strong that he kicked the table over, causing the soup and everything else that was on it to fly to the ground. The food was mixed together and scattered over the carpet, making a dreadful mess, while his voice boomed out, ‘I have no appetite!’ The two women, even more anxious and terrified at this further outburst, bent down hurriedly to clean the mess from the carpet, and by now were completely astounded at what master Mohammad Amin had done. When they had finished cleaning the carpet they sat down beside each other without uttering a single word. Once again silence prevailed all over the house, and there was no sign of a movement or of a sound between them!
The situation was too difficult and confusing for the women of the house to begin to comprehend. For it conflicted totally with the joyful situation they had experienced just a few hours earlier over lunch. They still carried the picture of his earlier return when he had arrived home in such a happy frame of mind, carrying delicious sorts of food, fruits and other tasty morsels. They had not yet forgotten his jokes and interesting words, his smiles and the pleasure which flew into their hearts and engulfed them with all-consuming cheerfulness.
As for his state of mind when he came home the second time, it was completely different... he seemed to be extremely overwrought. No longer sure what to do when faced with such an unfathomable situation, the mother stood up and started towards her room to sleep. Yet this caused her to feel even further consternation and confusion when her son made no move to follow her as he was accustomed to do.
Since the first day of his marriage, Officer Mohammad Amin had the habit of going to his mother’s room when it was time to sleep. He used to pretend to his mother that he had no desire to sleep in his own room for he did not like his wife! Night after night, he would relate to her a false picture of the reality of his conjugal life, ‘Oh Mother, please let me stay with you, please. I don’t like my wife. She doesn’t smell nice. I don’t want her at all. I love no-one in this life, Mama, other than you. I want to be with you always, inhaling your pleasant scent. Oh, how sweet it is!’ He would not leave his mother’s room unless she pushed him out forcefully. She did not agree with this behaviour of his, for it would make people talk badly about them. Being an honourable woman she believed that other people’s daughters were not merely toys to be played with and then discarded.
Through such wise and canny behaviour and many other ploys that he had resorted to since the first day of his marriage, Mohammad Amin was able to convince his mother that her son was still hers, and hers alone, and that the newcomer, his wife, would never be able to steal his heart from her. And so, the normal negative emotions towards the daughter-in-law did not arise after the marriage; as a result, there was no jealousy or discord between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law. On the contrary, a firm bond of love and familiarity developed between the two and became stronger until it was like the relationship between a mother and her very own loving daughter.
But on this topsy-turvy day he went contrary to his own habit. He did not accompany his mother to her room when she went to bed. In this way, the two women had no doubt that their man really was inflamed with anger, and thus he was able to continue his play-acting in his plan to bring about the desired result.
The mother went upstairs to sleep while the wife remained in the sitting room, trembling with fear. Her heart was beating so rapidly and so strongly that she could feel and hear its every beat. She went through a few difficult moments before she dared to utter a few words, and she eventually addressed her husband, ‘My dear, don’t you want to sleep?’
Without giving her an answer, the solemn officer stood up and stormed off towards their bedroom. She followed in his steps until they entered the room and she closed the door but remained standing with her back to it. Then, she dared to ask him, ‘What’s the matter, my dear? What’s wrong with you, my husband?’ At last! Finally she had asked him the question he had been eagerly waiting for since he entered the house and which would enable him to embark on the plan he had drawn up to resolve the situation.
As she uttered the last word, he shrieked like a wild animal caught in a trap, a terrible sound which resounded throughout the entire house, ‘Aaaah... aah...’ and then reverberated once again, ‘Aaah... aaah!’
The abrupt scream unnerved his wife and caused her whole body to shiver. She felt as if her head had split in half and she was about to lose consciousness. She moved backwards, her heart filled with a strange and terrible dread because of her husband’s unfathomable behaviour, and her body smashed against the door and she bounced off it.
After that horrible cry, a flood of curses and abuses flew from his mouth: ‘That mean man... that rascal, who lacks any sense of honour, was about to defame me and have everyone talk about me... oh... I wish I could kill him!’ Then he began to tell her about an incident that was supposed to have happened between him and his alleged friend. He said,
‘While we were walking in al-Hamidiyah Market, he suddenly left me and stepped aside to talk to a woman; this woman was wearing a black cloak as was proper, but it came only to her mid-calf! He said that she was his sister! His sister! Oh... really...? What a dog! He wants to make me the talk of the town... he wants to dishonour me! People will say: “See what kind of company Officer Aslan keeps! He associates with a man whose women are not fully covered! Ha... ha... a modern veil!... ha... modern women!” ’ he mocked. ‘When I saw this I couldn’t bear it, I felt myself boiling as if a volcano was about to erupt inside me and, so I couldn’t control myself. I drew out my gun and rushed towards him intending to kill him on the spot. But alas, the coward took to his heels and people stood in my way... I didn’t manage to kill him.’
Then, suddenly, another scream, every bit as piercing and horrible as the previous ones, issued from the mouth of Officer Mohammad Amin that made his wife jump with fear, while her husband added, ‘Ah... ah I must kill him, I must..., and I’ll definitely do it...’ He kept threatening and yelling in this way until it seemed that he could no longer contain himself because of his uncontrollable anger, so he sat on the bed without ceasing his cursing and abuse, finally overcome by so much emotion so forcefully released. And so, finally, he lay down having become exhausted by his ranting and raving and pretended to go to sleep.
Eventually as his emotional storm abated his poor wife, so petrified with fear that she was scarcely able to swallow, at last managed to release herself from the position where she had stood motionless all during her husband’s seemingly crazy ranting. With slow steps she walked towards her bed without mentioning a word about the story she had just been told. She lay quietly on her bed trying to sleep, but how could her mind allow her to sleep when she had been so overwhelmed by such desperate feelings of fear and terror. She could not close off her thoughts, ‘Oh my God! Oh my
God! It really is a disaster! If he behaved like this with his friend just because his sister wore a modern cape, what would he do to me if he knew that I’d changed my cloak too and begun to wear the same modern one?’
These thoughts were still running through her head and sleep could not have been further from her mind when suddenly another scream issued from her husband who, as she thought, should have been deeply asleep by then and served to increase her foreboding. She could hear him shouting, ‘Hold that dog... I’ll kill him... my gun, where’s my gun...?’
At that moment the wife was terrified of what might happen to her, to the extent that she felt as if her body had been jolted up off the bed and then plopped back down on to it. Her husband repeated the charade of crying and threatening twice during the night as he was dropping off to sleep, but then he finally surrendered to sleep through sheer exhaustion after the huge amount of energy he had exerted.
As for his wife she was too afraid to even think about trying to sleep and was deeply anxious in case he found out about her modern garment and veil. ‘What would he do to me if he saw it?’ she asked herself, ‘Oh God, what a horrible situation! If he asked me to show him my clothes what would I say? What will happen to me?’
At last, the darkness of night began to flee and the day dawned bright and clear. Officer Mohammad Amin woke up and immediately put on his military uniform and went towards the outer door. He left the house without having breakfast or even uttering one word. He went out showing uncontrollable annoyance and slammed the door violently behind him.
His wife made sure that her husband had left the house and she immediately rushed upstairs to the room of her mother-in-law.[94]She knocked at the door and then entered the room without waiting for a reply, clearly in a state of great agitation. She related to her mother-in-law all that had happened during that terrible, endless night when her heart had been full of terror and worry. ‘Oh mother, please help me... what can I do? I’m so afraid that he may get to hear about my modern clothing... I’m sure that he will kill me when he sees it. Please help me, mother. What can I do?’
The mother knew that her son was totally inflexible when it came to religious affairs, therefore touched by her fear she answered her daughter-in-law, ‘Oh my dear... what I certainly know about my son is that he obeys me in everything even if it costs him his life. However, concerning religious matters he has his own ideas and beliefs and no-one is able to influence him. He is blameless in all religious concerns, so I cannot speak to him on such matters at all. What I see, my daughter, is that we have no solution except to go to the market as soon as possible to buy a new, long cape for you.’
‘No... no...’, the wife cried fearfully, ‘I daren’t go out... by God, if he sees me in the street he’ll shoot me... yes, I’m sure... I am sure he’ll kill me if he sees me wearing my short cloak.’ She sighed, wringing her hands in despair, and continued, ‘No mother, I cannot go out wearing it.’
Faced with this situation, after some discussion the mother and her daughter-in-law decided to call the family of the young wife and ask them to buy a new, long cloak for their daughter and to send it to her as fast as possible. Without any further delay, the wife hurried towards the telephone and rang her family. After she explained to them that she wanted a garment covering all of her body from head to toe, she hung up the telephone receiver and immediately brought out the short cape and got rid of it.
When Officer Mohammad Amin returned home for lunch and to take his customary rest that afternoon it seemed that he had regained his usual good humour, so everything went smoothly as if nothing untoward had happened the day before.
He was convinced that his plan had achieved the desired effect and that it would lead to the change he wanted. Actually, it was to be six months before he saw his wife by accident in the street, for at that time women rarely left the house. This time she was putting on a new, long cloak, which covered her completely from head to toe. That was exactly what he wanted her to wear: the appropriate garment which pleases God and leaves no way for the devil to put evil thoughts in her mind or in those minds of the men who might have seen her in her previous cloak.
In this way the genius master Mohammad Amin had resolved this serious problem as he had resolved so many other problems, by resorting to his innate wisdom and thought process, and asking only for God’s Satisfaction: thus God was always with him and supporting him with His Aid to achieve victory.
The moral of the story
Indeed, the humane scholar M. A. Sheikho avoided telling his wife openly that he had seen her wearing a short cloak, and that he did not want her to use it again, preferring her to wear the rightful, long garment. Instead he resorted to devising a scheme and plan which had been excellently woven, whereby she would reach the correct solution herself. This way, because he had given much thought to the matter, he realised that if he had declared to his wife his dissatisfaction with her clothing, then friction and discontent might arise between them while they were still enjoying the early days of their marriage. He was careful not to allow any problem to remain unresolved between them during the first six months of their marriage.
The fact is that during the early months of marriage the marital bond turns from being a mere physical tie into a spiritual tie that lasts forever. If, during these months, the couple does not allow any discord to arise between them, the spiritual bond between both of them will grow faster and become more firmly entrenched so that it will never be affected by any weakness or dissolution. It will be strong just as God wants it to be, and the worldly life between husband and wife will take its course without any altercation, disturbance or estrangement at all. When the spiritual tie is firmly established between husband and wife through the early months of their marriage, a happy life, filled with love and cordiality, will prevail over their house and family forever and it will be impossible for any serious argument, or feelings of aversion, or desire for divorce to come between them.
But if antagonism is allowed to disturb the early stages of marital life between man and woman this would undermine the foundations of their spiritual bond and cause it to be frail and cracked, likely to collapse in the face of any disagreement of opinion or other matters. Furthermore, this may cause the marital life of the couple to be charged with hatred and disinclination towards one another, which might pave the way for the emergence of heated conflicts that will lead to no solution. In this case most couples would resort to divorce as the only solution to the unbearable life they are living together. And although divorce is a legal measure it is still abhorrent to God.
And so, for every new husband who wants to achieve a happy conjugal life and wishes to attain God’s Satisfaction the teachings of the solemn, humane master M. A. Sheikho give advice on how to maintain the bonds of love and cordiality with their spouses, and not give way to any discord between them. Men have to overlook the mistakes of their wives and apply their wisdom to devise the ways to reform the behaviour of their wives, avoiding any conduct that may sow the seeds of dissension, disunity or aversion between them and their spouses.
If they can live together in peace and harmony during the first six months of their marriage, their life will be crowned with love, felicity and harmony which will last forever, and definitely this will reflect positively on the lives of their children, and indeed on the whole of society.