I like strong and clever women. Their company is stimulating. I can sit enthralled by them for hours. They make me feel alive, they rivet my senses.
Some men are different. They feel threatened by such women. This is the main reason why my friend Gaby, successful in just about everything imaginable, still remained bereft of a love in her life.
Me? Sadly, no. So powerful a lady is Gabby that even I am not man enough to handle her. So that is why we have always been just friends. Yes, good friends since school, even though nowadays we don't meet up for a coffee as often as we used to. Why? Well, I think it all goes back to one fateful afternoon when we met at a cafe for our once a month rendezvous......
The cafe was unusually crowded. Perhaps it was the good weather. Gaby was already there, spotting me instantly and waving even as she conveyed a large mug of frothy cappuccino to her lovely lips. I waved back.
To reserve a place for me, Gabby had placed her handbag on the next chair. I only vaguely registered the fact that it was unfastened. Even less did I notice the anonymous, shifty-eyed guy on a nearby stool.
A serial entrepreneur, Gaby owned a whole string of businesses--- and even the cafe we were in. Which is why I hadn't had to pay for the gigantic cafe-latte that I carried over to Gaby's table. Don't get me wrong, I'm no freeloader, but Alberto, the manager, had told his staff never to accept payment from me (no doubt on Gaby's instructions).
As usual, Gaby and I exchanged chaste kisses on the cheek, and, as usual, I looked across at Alberto and winked a greeting across to where he sat at his vantage point next to the cash register. Beaming from ear to ear, Alberto winked back. It was a ritual.
Finally Gaby moved her handbag so I could sit on the chair. She placed the handbag on the ground next to her own chair. The little guy on the stool hadn't moved after catching my eye and now he looked hurriedly away. He was small, wiry and muscular with a crappy earring in one ear, wearing a dirty T-shirt with cut-off sleeves, and faded jeans torn at the knee. A loser. Some small-time punk. I dismissed him from my mind.
Gabby was in her usual irrepressibly high spirits, immediately launching into a description of the psychological tactics she had used to clinch yet another lucrative business deal. I listened, genuinely interested, because she could bring wit and fun to even the most boring subject----and the way she had negotiated this deal was anything but boring. Time flew----I don't know how long, as I never cared about the time when I was with Gaby. And then suddenly she glanced aside----then glanced again. Her expression changed. 'Hey--- it's been moved,' she muttered.
With one swift movement she had retrieved her handbag off the floor. She began rummaging in it. 'My purse----it's gone!' She looked up and around. I was already scanning the sea of faces before us when I saw the Mr Nobody who had been sitting close to us at the counter---he was heading unhurriedly but purposefully towards the exit. Gaby saw him a heartbeat later. 'I bet it's him......' she whispered. 'I've got another cell-phone----he doesn't know that--- watch carefully, John, here we go now.....'
I was used to Gaby's mind moving at lightning speed. Thank goodness my own mind is only marginally slower, so I had no trouble grasping what was going on; in the purse that Mr Nobody had taken from Gaby's handbag was a cell-phone. But there was a second-cell phone in her handbag, and in a flash she had dialled the number of the cell-phone lying within her stolen purse. It's musically warbling ring-tone drifted over the heads of the other patrons in the cafe. Mr Nobody hadn't been expecting this. His step faltered. He looked around wildly, clamped one hand to his waist (yes, the wretch had a stuffed Gaby,'s purse down the front waistband of his tatty jeans)--- and began running.
'Stop him--- he's stolen my purse,' bawled Gaby, on her feet and pointing towards the man as he scurried away.
Now, he might have made it out if he had kept his head. But the ringing cell-phone had frazzled his brain. This cafe had electric sliding doors to keep their air conditioning in, and he had forgotten that it is no use running full tilt at electric sliding doors--- the sensors will not hurry for you, they will take their time, which is why Mr Thief ran smack into the glass doors before they could even begin to slide open.
Stunned, he fell to the ground. Alberto and two waiters piled on top of him. Gaby smiled. 'Gotcha,' she whispered to no one in particular. 'Call the cops--- I'm pressing charges,' she added loudly as she strolled through the surrounding coffee tables. Admiring heads turned at the snap of authority in the tone of this glamorous, sharply dressed lady. Taking her time, she approached the little thief. He had been hauled to his feet and was held securely. Gaby reached forward and in one fluid movement extracted her purse from the man's waistband. He was beaten, the misery of defeat quite obviously a frequent visitor to his face. Perspiration shone on his forehead as he stood drenched in shame. By now I had caught up with Gaby, anxious for her safety in case anything physical happened--- although I'm sure she could have looked after herself just fine.
'Thought you could get away, did you?' she said conversationally to the thief. He hung his head, a surly looking specimen, devoid of all dignity. He glanced upwards at Gaby and then quickly away.....and in that instant something passed between them. Something that even as a writer I find it hard to find the proper words to describe. Yes, there was the expected surly defiance, the pathetic challenge, the jeering acceptance, even some reluctant admiration, all that---and something more. Something primal, full of hopeless longing, all wrapped up in a wretched abasement at the feet of a greater God.
There was a flash of response in Gaby's eyes, so fast that I almost missed it. But it was there. She leaned close to him.
'You'll be really sorry by the time I'm finished with you,' she told him with a slight tremor in her voice. Oddly enough, the little thief seemed to relax at these words.
Well, two cops appeared and took the guy away. Gaby promised to follow them soon and file a formal charge at the police station. We tried to get back to our coffees and normal conversation, but too much had happened.
The next time we met for coffee was two months later. Gaby had been too busy. I noticed a change in her. She seemed---well, to put it simply, she seemed happy. Not that she hadn't been happy before---her life had been one merry-go-round of successes, so what had she got to be unhappy about, right? Wrong. This was a different kind of happiness. And what she had to say quite startled me, to put it mildly.
'John, do you remember Lou, the man who stole my purse? Well, I dropped the charges. Decided he would be more used to me that way. I've let him move in with me. He stays home--- my maids are gone, he does the housework--- he needs to be kept busy, see. And he's a pretty good cook, believe it or not.' She turned and gave me a dazzling smile. 'And, you know, he's not bad at looking after a girl. I've grown quite fond of him--- but he knows his place.'
I finally found my voice.
'But Gaby, hey, the man is a thief. He's no good. He'll steal from you again.....' I stuttered.
'No, the cops know him, I know him, he's got nowhere to hide. Besides he's got it made, living with me.'
'But.....but he's still a no good thief.....'
Gaby frowned.
'I think that was partly my fault." She turned to give me a sly wink. 'If I'm going to be careless enough to place my open handbag where he can reach into it, with my purse right on top in full view, mind, well, he was bound to be tempted, see.'
I was aghast. I felt my jaw drop.
'Gaby, you don't mean it was a setup, you----'
Gaby's bubbly laughter cut me off.
'Oh, come on, John. You know me well enough by now to know I always get what I want,' she sang gaily.
Well, each to his or her own, I suppose. And why not. I'm pretty sure Gaby and Lou will be happy together for quite a while yet. And what's wrong with that? Why nothing! Nothing whatsoever! So there!
I do miss not seeing her so often, though. Still.....
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