Tears of the Mystic Rose by Swami Rajneesh - HTML preview

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rajneesh reveals osho
once upon a moon www.oshorajneesh.net

oh what a glory…what a birth…i have such good fortune to have the prefect childhood…the perfect life i am truly a blessed child

my parents gave me the name rajnish
raj means king and nish means night
which means king of the night
or lord of the full moon

running uphill i reach the top
cramps have set in
and am dead tired today
i fall down
i hear the gompa bells ringing
and feel a strong energy pulling me towards the sound i try to lift my body but cannot
it is heavy like a rock
what has happened today
i suddenly feel a huge ball of light
flying out of my body towards the gompa i can see the gompa clearly
lying there on the ground
its golden pagoda shining with such tremendous light
the whole surrounding is on fire
and dancing in a brilliant blue and glowing softly tibetan lamas walking and sitting around the gompa i cannot believe it
am i standing or on the ground unconscious
how can i see through such a distance i remain totally confused in this strange and intoxicated state

i can see others running by me…i can see others in the near distance i must continue my marathon run
and as if by magic i stand up like a feather
am so fresh and exploding with life as if i have just started my run

i feel my legs flying off the ground they are not even touching the earth

streaks of fire www.oshorajneesh.net

i left my house in the early hours and have never returned i was sixteen years old…just my jeans and t shirt on my back penniless on the streets of bombay at 2 am

no more to become a businessman…i hated that word no more to become a movie star…i hated fame not wanting to become rich…i hated such people i just wanted to be free and wander

i had lived from the ages of six to sixteen in the mountains
visiting my home for only three months holiday each year sheltered in a cosy mansion in tinsel town…where the beautiful people lived partying every night

i was still living in the innocence of the himalayas
still a dreamer and rebellious with no actual clue to the harsh realities that lay ahead of me…of the real world out there

one morning in november 1977 i woke up to see the newspapers announced the untimely death of my mother and under mysterious circumstances no one was with her at the hospital at the time of her death
and as my father and that side of the family
were prevented from seeing her due to a court order
her body was taken for cremation unfortunately with none of us present such a tragic story…that a famous movie star was cremated with very few people present for the last rites

her sudden and tragic death was obviously a great shock for me i remember i promised myself then that i would make something of my life in her memory and remember her that way
i must understand where i was going in life and what i was doing and why

her death formed many new questions in my life and i started to question the very meaning of life and how one should live
the priorities and values of society and people
spending nights and nights trying to solve these questions for myself all alone with no one to speak to nor anyone as my guide

360º to paradise www.oshorajneesh.net

i remember as if it just happened yesterday

the very moment i saw the sannyas magazine with his face on the cover those eyes and that beard
it was as if time had suddenly stopped
my heartbeat became rapid
everything in the room began to reel and spin
i almost fainted in a state of shock
wow…what was i seeing in front of me
was it a dream…or was i awake

the very same eyes that had haunted me every night for the past four months were staring at me from the cover of this sannyas magazine what seemed like a million flashes
hundreds of images passed before my eyes
it was all there instantaneously
i knew i had found what i was searching for

he was my search…he was my life…this was the meaning to my life everything fell into place…the puzzle was complete
i had found the man i was born for

i knew it all somehow i knew all these people
i knew the place as if i had been there and then the first words i read
the ordinary man is tao
i was still in shock and began to cry with joy
crying and shaking
without stopping for over an hour i simply could not stop
my head began to become light and empty and a pressure started to build up into an explosive pain again the room began to swim the floor began to sway and move what was happening

was an earthquake coming poona february 1981 i arrive in heaven
wearing my orange robe immediately go to the ashram
it is evening…i manage to walk onto the ashram road…wow
seeing so many absolutely stunning and beautiful sannyasins with so much joy and celebration written all over their faces…all over the streets i felt such an upsurge of energy and wanted to be part of this for the rest of my life…my stomach pain suddenly becomes settled and my head pain disappears as if by magic…what is left in its place is a sweet taste in the mouth of pure intoxication and a warm and honey like flow all over my body my nostrils fragrant with jasmine…i am floating over the ground in an expansion that i never knew before

it is too late for visitors
so i walk around outside the ashram just looking at the sannyasins spending the entire evening and night walking the streets
every street corner is filled with people dancing and playing on their guitars in many places a cassette of his discourse plays
his divine voice speaking softly and sannyasins sitting drinking and drowning into his each and every word like nectar
deeply listening to the hiss in his words

my god…i wish i could bring the whole world to his feet
i dream that this is just the start
and i imagine that bhagwan will actually transform the entire world

if they will only come here and listen to his magical voice and feel and drink this divine bliss that is pervading the entire space all around the air is thick with a fluid…flowing like divine bliss…this is simply paradise these people are the most blessed on this earth

i look in amazement at sannyasins who have been around bhagwan i only wish i had arrived here a few years earlier
what a blessing for them to sit at his feet
why was i not born earlier…i should have been here sooner

i am in love with everyone i see…i love them for being here and feel connected to each and every face i see
i am in love for the very first time

the spiritual hitchhiker www.oshorajneesh.net

the very first thing i did was to go to a wood workshop
make a wooden locket exactly like the poona mala…get wooden beads cut out a black and white photo of bhagwan
take my sannyas under a tree in the lodhi garden

i buy a photo of bhagwans feet…i place my mala onto it each night place the feet and mala over my headrest
sleep peacefully under his feet
each morning wake up to place the mala gently on my neck just the way he gave sannyas and bow three times

buddham sharanam gachchhami
sangham sharanam gachchhami
dhammam sharanam gachchhami this would be my daily morning and nightly remembrance of him

lotus in chains www.oshorajneesh.net

i remember that morning 29 october 1985
i received a phone call at about 9.30 am
i was sleeping in my relatives house in pasadena los angeles wake up…turn on the tv…see the news

bhagwan is arrested
the commune is destroyed

in disbelief i turn on the tv in the drawing room
in the news bhagwan smiling coming off a plane with handcuffs fbi agents surrounding him with guns

what the hell…am i in a nightmare

i pick up the table lamp and smash the tv
i am furious and could have killed anyone that moment how can they do this to bhagwan handcuffs and body chains
absolutely horrific
and totally unacceptable
to chain a fragile divine being do they know what they are doing can they not see his divine presence chains on his graceful
and delicate hands
guns surrounding him

bhagwan smiling
radiant and graceful
his face utterly calm and a sparkling twinkle in his eyes

first thing that morning i still remember that image
the world has gone mad

my life has come to an end now there is nowhere to go no oregon
no running after bhagwan

no need to make money a wall in front of my eyes and the image of him in chains handcuffed

i am a dragon breathing fire outraged with nowhere to vent this anger
mind frozen
what am i going to do

in sheer explosive anger
i close my eyes for the first time and hear a silent voice

your enlightenment is all you can give to me
your anger can be used positively burn the candle at both ends
be total go in
your enlightenment is my only protection
i got the message loud and clear from bhagwan
go in…just go in

i call the commune
no one is really answering the phone
saying they do not know what is going to happen it seems it is the end of the commune

i wanted to leave america and return to india i disliked america and what they had done to him to the commune
to my sannyasins whom i loved and adored their collective blood sweat and tears to build the greatest oasis on earth of a living buddha

they had destroyed the future of millions of seekers

fathomless zero dive www.oshorajneesh.net

i was like a person on death row
absolutely resolute that i was on a mission
i wanted to be total and focused…no idle friendships…no talking to anyone just there to meditate and absolutely nothing else…full stop

i leave behind all my possessions…have only one orange robe stitched completely plain…buttonless…straight and simple
a pair of bata chappals
and take the newspaper photo of bhagwan chained and handcuffed my own handmade mala…his feet

i want to have no distractions whatsoever
be simple and live simple and focused…no more postponement i must reach enlightenment…do or die

i could still feel the air thick with bhagwan
the ashram was vibrating with his presence and for me it was heaven again i could be there with no hindrance allowed to move anywhere to walk behind buddha grove

where bhagwan lived
the sacred lao tzu gate always etched in my heart everything stops for me whenever i come to this gate

the gate is open…but i do not walk in…it is too sacred i feel that only when i really deserve will i pass through these gates i walk silently by…this gate has become a standstill
the deepest moment for me

i open my eyes…the picture of bhagwan stares at me…him in chains i am furious again…i close my eyes angry with myself
i am just spineless and weak…cannot even sit
and angrily tell my body to shut up and get used to the pain there is no other way…there is simply no choice
just ignore the pain…discipline myself…if one has to die then just die a huge struggle and war over mind and body
each time losing
opening my eyes to see bhagwan in chains
unbearable to see this image
closing my eyes and continuing to dive in…in…in…in

i recollect some experiences on walking slowly

i now walk every day two to three hours behind buddha grove the gentle slope rising…the gentle slope descending…a perfect pathway
i feel like a huge pillar passing through my body
and at the same time begin to experience a ball floating above me
the huge ball rolling in the wind above me
just like a tall pillar waving the body below
my feet continue walking in a strange movement i cannot feel my feet on the earth
just a sensation of hovering above the ground
both feet have become one
the right moving the left and the left moving the right
it is a strange slow motion
yet has a balanced slow rhythmic movement you must follow its paces
a tall and thin pillar waves the walking body below
a huge ball suspended above balancing the back and forth motion
i have to walk very slowly otherwise the ball loses balance the pillar loses the rhythm and i must stop walking

descent into the black hole www.oshorajneesh.net

while my inner senses started reaching outwards i could feel that they were also moving inwards…a merger inside to outside and outside to inside sensitivity grew…there were no more walls i was vaporising
my body starts expanding and stretching like a balloon i feel the currents in the air merging with me
from nowhere and everywhere
from the sky, the earth, the grass, the trees, the rocks, the air all becoming animate and everything started to pour into me my body has disappeared
i was completely transparent and vulnerable i feel the black envelope me
and i fall fall fall fall
endlessly fall
into a black pit a black hole
it must have lasted hours
but i am soon awakened
i can see
from the inside
that i have fallen into something
the fall still continues
but gentle and relaxed
like a soft feather descending through a tunnel
i am seeing a new universe
all is light
lines of vertical experiences flash by me i can see my past lives rush before me
in an instant
in seconds somehow i can feel see and recall everything
compressed and intensely everything becomes six dimensional
i see touch feel experience all at once all alive as if it were the real world
and the real world only imaginary
i see my life with buddha
my life as a tibetan lama
visions stretch before this seeing eye i see my body re living these memories
moving and releasing
softly into these experiences i see my body moaning and moving gently withinwards
the muscles relaxing
untying the locks of all these lives endlessly these images continue
animal lives
last thing i remember
swimming as a fish
in the ocean

the comets trail www.oshorajneesh.net

it seems an eternity has passed
i do not know how long this continues i have no sensation of time in the black hole
i am unconscious in the black hole i become aware of a vast presence hovering over me
i am lying helplessly unconscious just helpless and unconscious
a merger of light was happening i feel my physical body change from inside

my girth becomes wider…more stout my jaws expand…my hands expand my fingers move into a new mudra like expression my feet broaden
my body has been taken over

i am still in a semi coma deep layers of surgery are happening in deep intoxication
i am totally in
bliss…bliss…bliss

i am awakened with a huge explosion of light
as if the sun has descended into my head
there is no skull
i can see through the top of my head
brilliant unbearable light
is pouring into my head
i am blinded
completely blinded

i cannot open my eyes they are heavy like a rock i cannot move my body i have absolutely no strength i am lying inert under the tree but i am awake

from a vast distance i can see the rooftops…the ashram trees i can see my body lying under the lemon tree in the courtyard someone please come and help me move i am like a rock…heavy like a rock…cannot pick up my body

i wish that i can get up
and with this wish i am strangely sucked into my body and experience the pain and heaviness as if after surgery

i do not remember much of what happened during the night just the memory of falling into a black hole memory of the fish in the ocean

and find myself unfamiliar with myself i do not recognise my body and its changes i walk differently…i stand differently…my hands are different my face bigger and changed
i feel different inside and outside
just who am i

as soon as i become vertical and sit down a huge vortex again swallows me and a light begins to filter into me

on no…not again please…i have had enough i can feel a tall vertical pillar of light opening again i feel a strong wave descending into me and am again sucked in
i am falling in again

i descend descend inwards
and soon recognise the point i had come to last night i am staring at a circular opening into a tunnel with a bright light at the end
i am inside behind my navel again so i am going to leave the body now i am prepared

secret of the mystic rose www.oshorajneesh.net

i walk onto the garden and again am pulled upwards my eyes look up
the sky is clouded
the clouds part the sky opens
the blue sky explodes a brilliant silvery white tunnel reveals itself
i am in shock
i see the most brilliant ball of light diamond lights descending
bhagwan with folded hands in namaste
gently smiling and softly gliding down towards me
i have died and gone to heaven i cannot believe what i am seeing before me the most heavenly and divine spectacle
the earth has stopped
a deep silence descends into my heart a peace beyond understanding

 

i have known i have seen
the seer is awake
the open rose looks at me its fragrance to the wind the mystic rose

drowned into his eyes www.oshorajneesh.net

i went deeper into the black hole this was the final frontier searching
the ultimate truth

what is omnipotent…omnipresent…omniscient indestructible…pervades all…knows all
no taste…no smell…no touch…no sound…no sight cannot be created was always present…nor destroyed will always remain beyond space…beyond time
fathomless…immeasurable
has its own source of light…eternal

the black hole…was the unknowable…the ultimate mystery

 

i had begun understanding what had happened light can only be perceived from the dark
the experience of an atomic explosion of light light exploding everywhere
was seen from within the black hole

the inner experience black…the outer experience light nirvana…the cessation of the flame…the outer the eternal flame the black hole…the very inner core of being

2500 years maitreya herenow www.oshorajneesh.net

i shall be the first person in the world to declare and to reveal the true meaning of bhagwans statement
that he has gone beyond enlightenment
this is a revolutionary statement
the very first time bhagwan uttered such an unusual declaration

people took it for its poetic value no such poetic licence for bhagwan it was a factual declaration
an actual event that took place

bhagwan the greatest gambler…playing with his life always walking on the razors edge high in the sky has decided to go a step further
where no living buddha had ever gone to before

no buddha had transferred his astral body
to his disciple while living in the body

to transfer his astral body
his physical body was to remain unprotected…vulnerable
his body was already very sensitive and fragile
this transfer was extremely radical and very dangerous

o great white swan www.oshorajneesh.net

bhagwan is at his peak again
dancing his way in every morning…totally in his element you could see him exploding with his arms…high into the sky submerging the entire chuang tzu auditorium
into a dazzling spectacle of his flights

the gentle soft giggle a secret in his smiling eyes
higher and higher…higher and higher bhagwan songs of love pouring into his arrivals
taking us deeper into our being
waves are coming in waves are coming in

sannyasins were in ecstasy…they were in love again their eyes glistening with joy and gratitude the buddhafield had caught fire again
something new was in the air

bhagwan speaking on the arrival of the new man on this planet earth the new man is on the horizon

the golden future…the rebel…the new dawn the whole buddhafield was charged and awaiting the birth of the new man

thorns and roses www.oshorajneesh.net

i was walking in a battlefield not a buddhafield they have this much freedom as far as i am concerned the freedom to create or destroy themselves

but not the freedom to destroy others
this is trespassing into the sacred fire of the other and his inner spiritual journey

bhagwan has repeated many many times
do not interfere into anyones freedom
and do not allow anyone to interfere with your freedom

i see the second to be more important today
to allow others to interfere with your freedom
is to be a passive participant
to watch others bully an innocent person and remain silent is to directly participate in the crime

that power corrupts and total power corrupts totally
the powerful dominate by banning those they cannot control make them live in fear of banning so they become obedient slaves

banning sannyasins is the dirtiest and lowest form of blackmail
the sannyasin is vulnerable
simply because he does not want to leave the presence of bhagwan

they are playing with his love for bhagwan
using this as a tool against him
how much lower can one stoop

the lions roar www.oshorajneesh.net

i now became interested in reading more on j krishnamurti and his life and why there was a conflict between his ideas on masters a whole new chapter opened which i had previously ignored

i was completely with bhagwan
nothing would ever shake my love for him
i just began to question his completely open approach

i wanted to understand more deeply
the dynamics of master versus no master
and how complicated it is to transmit truth to an unconscious humanity

i knew that bhagwan had no choice
he already understood all the repercussions of spreading the truth he himself was a target
but i needed to understand the complex situation of
an individual versus the crowd in a commune situation with a living master

i knew bhagwan was closely watching my growth and wanted me to study all the implications and absorb more into my understanding

until now i was doting on him like a child
i needed more understanding with a calm balanced vision in front of me i began to appreciate j krishnamurti more and more
his absolutely keen sense of observation and his clinical approach

bhagwan always said that we were part of the world that his commune was just an experiment
he had never stated that his people had become enlightened they were as unconscious as the rest of the world

the rest of the world where ignorance is bliss here where bliss is not in ignorance
the world and its ways are simple and easy to deal with just daily activities and living on the surface

here one was vulnerable experimenting with psychic energies with complex inner mechanisms of the unexplored mind and no mind where high voltage energy situations demanded
experience and careful growth and guidance
where great awareness was needed the higher one went where one had to be extremely careful of ones actions

we were playing with fire…invisible threads of vertical fire

ripples in a strange universe www.oshorajneesh.net

enter the dragon
the world of the east held great interest for me now hongkong china japan korea thailand
these were the frontiers of the future for bhagwan they could understand him

i felt he made a great mistake as did all the gurus of the 70s era just the bubble of the american dream
the idea that they would soon be fed up with the outer cover of materialism and would soon turn inwards for their spiritual longings

the west simply did not have a clue as to what is inwards nor the taste nor the aesthetic values of