INTRODUCTION
This chapter covers my academic education from the age of eleven when I started boarding at Heronwater School in North Wales (1971) until I completed my Master’s degree at Imperial College (1983) at the age of 23. I attribute my academic achievements to my system of examination technique, which I am going to share with you.
I attended Heronwater School for just two years before going to a boarding school called Sedbergh School in Cumbria (1973) known for its brutal methods of ‘character building’. Some people consider Sedbergh School as ‘Northern England’s Eton for paupers’ but this Dickensian school had a good reputation for ‘fagging’, cross-country running and rugby. After I completed my GCE ‘A’ levels in 1978, I studied civil and structural engineering at the University of Sheffield.
During school and university holidays, I worked whenever I could. My first job was working as a labourer for a local firm of builders, David Dundas & Co. I worked for 30 pence per hour. I also worked at the local off-license during the Christmas holidays. In 1982, I worked as a camp counselor for mentally-impaired people in New York State.
Life at university suited me because we could plan our studies independently, allowing us a lot of freedom. Also my fellow students and lecturers were liberal-minded fun-loving intellectuals. Moreover, my single room in a hall of residence offered the best of both worlds: privacy combined with unlimited social opportunities.
Sadly, my zest for freedom conflicted with what my parents wanted. Long hair became a symbol for freedom so my father often complained about the length of my hair. Despite this, I had many fun parties in the bungalow during holidays even though I was banned from talking to working class people.
After completing my first degree at Sheffield, I wanted to travel but I had no funds, so I looked for work. I noticed a job was available at Hertfordshire County Council’s Traffic Engineering Department. The job ad stated that the employer would reimburse all travel expenses to job interviewees including an extremely generous mileage allowance for applicants travelling by car. So, I applied for the job initially to profit from the travel expenses. They offered me the job and I accepted it.
I worked in Hertfordshire for just five and a half months. Overall, I enjoyed working in the Transportation Department. However, I fell on the wrong side of office politics when I innocently put my arm around a female employee during a social event. This is known as a ‘faux pas’. I had inadvertently broken an unwritten social rule.
By the time I left Hertfordshire County Council (1982), I had saved up some money so I was able to travel to America. In America, I took a Greyhound bus all the way from San Francisco to Miami and then I returned to England from New York City after checking out the yuppie scene in Washington DC.
When I returned to UK, I planned a working holiday in Frejus, South France with my girlfriend Jenny Wollner. We worked on a camping site for about six months during which I learnt how to move and install mobile homes. I worked as electrician, plumber, carpenter and general labourer for the entrepreneurs Ron and Ruby Stamp.
When I worked in the South of France, I applied for and was awarded a studentship with the Science and Engineering Research Council (SERC) to study for a Master’s degree in management science at Imperial College of Science and Technology, which is part of the University of London.
The final part of my education involved a year in London where I would meet intellectuals from all over the world. I was elected Social Secretary of Lillian Penson Postgraduate Hall of Residence and I really enjoyed the social life.
Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed my education at university and I performed well. Sadly, my father could not accept my passion and curiosity, which caused me to question everything with my logical mind. Unfortunately, my academic achievements seemed to cause further riff between me and my father, perhaps because I was willful and aware of my intelligence without being fully aware of Dad’s difficulties during his education.
HERONWATER SCHOOL
I was terribly homesick initially when I was sent away to boarding school at the age of eleven. However, I arrived with some friends from my previous school, Moorland House, which had closed down. My new school was set in beautiful countryside, surrounded by lakes, pastures and woodlands. Outside the massive school building was a large hollow trunk of a fallen oak tree where we would play during break times.
I loved the nature around Heronwater School. I have fond memories of campfires in the woods when I was a boy scout. The school was divided into teams, and each team was named after a type of bird. I was a Plover. Other teams included Kestrels and Owls.
The schoolteachers were exceptionally eccentric. Sometimes I wondered whether Heronwater was the last resort for educators who could not get a job anywhere else. One of our schoolmasters was a man who we called Charlie Kipper. Charlie Kipper was a short man who wore plus-fours and a shooting cap. He also drove the farcical three-wheeled Reliant Robin.
I was extremely perplexed by the sexual activities of the more senior boys in my dormitory because they were obsessed with masturbation. Every night there were ‘wanking’ competitions and the winner was the person who could ejaculate furthest.
There was a boy in our dormitory called Rolinson who was in charge of the dormitory’s sexual activities. Rolinson would measure the boys’ penises using his twelve-inch ruler. Initially I had no idea what was going on because I was very innocent when I started at Heronwater. This was a bizarre introduction to sex for me.
There were homosexual relationships among the pupils too. One boy called Terence had a sexual relationship with a fellow boarder. Terence was always saying how much he fancied his mum and that he wanted to have sex with her. So, Heronwater School was a melting pot for sexual deviance.
I could not understand why I was educated at a boarding school, away from everyone else. I wanted to attend a local school. During my school holidays I made a friend with a boy called Steve Kennsley, who went to the local comprehensive school. When my father discovered that I had a friend from a local day school, I was told never to see him again. I obeyed my father and I never saw Steve again.
During one of the public holidays, which spanned a long weekend, I was the only pupil remaining at the school; all the other boys had gone home to stay with their families. Strangely, being the only pupil left at my school did not bother me, but our matron, Mrs Rutherford, said that my parents were a “miserable pair” for leaving me alone at school during school holidays when all the other boys were invited back to their homes.
When my father heard that I did not want to board at Sedbergh School (at the age of 13), he angrily told me that I would “do as I was told” or I would be “on my own”, whatever that means. I had no choice in the matter, unless I ran away from home. I was neither mature nor strong enough to take absolute responsibility for myself, so I reluctantly left to board at Sedbergh School in Cumbria.
EXAM TECHNIQUE
Now I will share with you my secret system for passing exams which is infallible. This system, which I developed with my Grandpa’s help, may be considered the science of optimising examination results. It is an extremely powerful system. Just follow these guidelines:
1. At the earliest opportunity, label your paper appropriately and neatly with your name, subject, heading and the date.
2. Allow between 5 – 10 minutes to read and re-read the exam paper and decide which questions to answer, and in which order. Ensure that you answer each question properly.
3. Calculate how many minutes you need to answer each question. For example, if there are five questions of 20 marks each to answer over three hours, and you allow ten minutes for planning, you should spend exactly 34 minutes on each question (ie 170 minutes divided by 5).
Prepare a time schedule for the entire examination. For example, if the exam starts at 11.00am, the schedule might be:
11.00 am until 11.10 am Planning
11.10 am until 11.44 am Question 2 (the easiest question)
11.44 am until 12.18 am Question 4 (the second easiest question)
12.18 am until 12.52 am Question 3
12.52 am until 13.26 am Question 1
13.26 am until 14.00 am Question 5 (the most difficult question)
Note the time of the start of the examination, and set your watch accordingly.
If you have any spare time at the end of the examination, review and edit your answers. Pay particular attention to presentation, spelling and grammar.
4. Always answer the easiest questions first to develop confidence and leave the most difficult questions until the end (by which time, you should feel confident that you have passed the exam).
5. When answering a difficult question, answer it as intelligently as possible. Always answer every question to the best of your ability. Never give up on any question because you always have something to contribute!
6. Begin revision for the exam four or five weeks before the date of the exam. During the first two weeks, identify the most important topics that are usually examined. Prepare ‘flash cards’ using pieces of paper with the question on one side and the answer on the other side. Whenever, you have spare time, test your knowledge until you are familiar with all the basics. During the two or three weeks before the exam, practice with real previous exam questions because this helps to develop confidence.
7. Step up your physical exercise during revision until the exams are over because cardiovascular exercise helps sharpen the mind.
8. Go to the toilet immediately before the exam because the schoolmasters take a dim view of pupils who pee in their pants during exams.
9. Develop interest in the subject matter through discussion, consideration of alternative viewpoints and watching relevant documentaries. Read around the subjects.
10. If your school or educational institution is situated outside Cambodia, do not attach bank notes to your examination answers, otherwise you may be charged with bribery.
SEDBERGH SCHOOL
At the age of thirteen I was sent to the toughest and most Spartan of Dickensian public schools in England. Sedbergh School has a reputation for ten mile runs, rugby, cold showers, bullying and fagging – all the things that build character!
My dad paid lots of money to develop my character. Apparently the fees for my first year at Sedbergh School were £3,000 per annum but they tripled by my final year in 1978. On many occasions Dad complained about the escalating cost of sending me away to England’s toughest boarding school.
The bullying at Sedbergh School was fierce, just like Tom Brown’s Schooldays. One of my peers called Howell Evans was bullied so harshly that he left the school after just one term. He had a poor start at Sedbergh. During his first shower, he pointed at one of his peers and said ‘Gosh, you’ve got a big one for your age!’ After that innocent comment he was spotted doodling in the notepad. One of his doodles was of a flower, so he became known as ‘Flower’.
During my first year at Sedbergh School, I influenced a clique of five boys. At the end of my first year at Sedbergh, my dad scolded me because I received a poor school report. Although my examination results were impressive, my school report indicated that I had behaved badly. My Housemaster, Ian MacDougal, wrote in my school report that I had a bad attitude and was motivated to ‘look cool’ in my peer group.
The following year I resigned as cool adolescent gang leader at school. Instead I was the target of bullying while I experimented with the Christian religion. I did not manage to establish a two-way communication channel with God, so I did not have any sanctuary from the torments I experienced.
On a couple of occasions, my housemaster (at Powell House) Ian MacDougal caned me. On the second occasion, I was caught by a master drinking beer and smoking in a local pub. As part of my punishment, my desk was moved into the common room, so I had no privacy for a few months. My father was always very critical of Ian MacDougal and I suspect the reason is because I was not caned often enough!
I found solace in cross-country running because I found the exercise so relaxing. I loved the countryside and being so fit and healthy felt great! I was a member of the Sedbergh School cross-country team and I was one of the favourites in the famous Ten Mile Run (when I arrived in third place and the winner William Long broke the all-time record for this run in 1978).
I also enjoyed rubgy. We played rugby during torrential rain and returned to the school building covered in thick black mud. Then we would have to share a bath of black muddy water with another boy.
As usual, I focused on getting good examination results and my performance in the school running team. The remaining time was spent with three other boys in our Gang of Four (John Marsden, John Moxon and Tony Graham). I was the silent subversive of the group, known as ‘Sweaty Vest Phil’ because of my profuse perspiration during physical activity.
Our Gang of Four performed several pranks over the years. Our most notorious prank was breaking into the main assembly hall during the night and turning around all of the hundreds of chairs. We left a little note on the lecturn saying, ‘How about this for a backward-looking school?’ The following morning, the head master announced that assembly would be held in the chapel instead of the assembly hall.
At Sedbergh School, I discovered George Orwell because the author’s book Animal Farm was included in our literature syllabus. Animal Farm is a political allegory about totalitarian rule by pigs at a farm, which is famous for the quotation, “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.” Shortly afterwards, I read his books, Nineteen Eighty Four and Down and Out of Paris and London. The latter book is essentially Orwell’s personal investigative journalism of life at the bottom of society in boarding houses, known as ‘spikes’. I perceived in Orwell an individual with extreme integrity and passion for writing. Orwell ‘walked his talk’ and used his writing to make people more aware of social injustice and hypocrisy that gripped England. Orwell shared his intimate experiences with us – on subjects ranging from bed-wetting to masturbation – and he placed no limits on his pursuit for truth. The biography of George Orwell by Bernard Crick explains that Orwell’s friends and family ridiculed his writing at the beginning of his career, but with sheer persistence and determination, he succeeded against all odds. I related with many of Orwell’s experiences, from being bullied and caned at a British boarding school, to being relatively poor compared with my peers (at school, university and later in a top international accountancy firm). Both Orwell and I supported underdogs and victims of injustice, but I did not really understand why.
Another saving grace of Sedbergh School was the access I had to a diverse range of progressive music that included Frank Zappa, Deep Purple, David Bowie, Pink Floyd and the punk rock band, The Sex Pistols which released ‘Never Mind the Bollocks’ in 1977, when I was 17 years old. One of my favorite bands was a Welsh rock band called Budgie.
Despite being subversive, I was a top cross-country runner, a good rubgy player and I received good exam results, enabling me to go to university. Amazingly, I was appointed as a house prefect, meaning that I had my own ‘fag’ to polish my shoes and make my bed for me. Somehow, I managed to turn a tough situation into a success story.
At the age of seventeen, I took an occupational aptitude test known as The Birkbeck Test, to guide me in my choice of career. One of the questions in this test was, ‘What career do you feel most suited for?’ I mentioned the first career that popped into my head without taking the question seriously. My answer was Engineering. Another question included in the Birkbeck Test was, ‘What do you find most challenging?’ After some head-scratching, I wrote down the word ‘Communication’. The school master who reviewed my test results with me commented about my communication difficulties but did not suggest any remedies. At the bottom of my career assessment report was the official Birkbeck career recommendation: Engineering. I sniggered to myself when I read this because I suggested this career as a joke. Actually, I wondered which career they would have recommended for me if I had suggested, ‘one-legged ballet-dancing lion tamer’.
My father hoped that I would apply to study medicine at the University of Cambridge but I disappointed him because I was not willing to stay at school an extra term to take the Cambridge exam. I could not leave Sedbergh fast enough. Sadly, also, my experience of medical doctors completely turned me off medicine. One of my father’s friends was a medical doctor called Peter Pannicker who was an alcoholic, drug addict, and womanizer who committed suicide, and his children had no respect for him.
After leaving Sedbergh School, every time our ‘Gang of Four’ convened, I learnt of Old Sedberghians who had committed suicide. Apparently the main reason for their depression was unfulfilled expectations of their parents. There may have been other issues arising from lack of contact with women too.
CROSS-COUNTRY RUNNING
I started cross-country running when I started at Sedbergh School and this practice helped me physically, mentally and emotionally. The countryside around Sedbergh was beautiful and the air was fresh, so Sedbergh was probably the ideal place to get initiated in this autonomous sport. I felt a bit uncoordinated for team sports, so I focused mainly on running to keep me fit.
Running is a relaxing meditation for me. Of course, this cardiovascular exercise causes the release of serotonin in the brain which causes the ‘runner’s high’ – the only legal ‘high’ allowed at Sedbergh School. Serotonin reduces depression and anxiety and enhances relaxation.
Cross-country running is beneficial for the mind too. This exercise stimulates creative ideas and abstract thinking. Sometimes I run with a recorder or pen and paper to capture ideas while I run.
Naturally cross-country running aids deep sleep and vitality. Running is also an excellent way of controlling weight and reducing blood pressure. These benefits would remain with me until my fifties.
A major benefit of cross-country running is that, because it’s an autonomous activity, it can be done anytime. I enjoy running in the rain but I cannot run when the weather is too hot. The only investment required is the cost of a pair of good quality running shoes. Otherwise, all that’s needed is willpower.
I would usually run between three and five kilometers each day. However, I would increase the distance when training for Sedbergh’s annual Ten Mile Run. I was one of the school’s best cross-country runners.
Thank God for cross-country running!
THE UNIVERSITY OF SHEFFIELD
My university education at the University of Sheffield (1978 – 1981) could not have been easier or more fun. I had a group of friends to socialise with as well as limitless social functions to attend.
I was organized, so I knew how much work I needed to do. I worked hard and played hard in Sheffield, earning me an upper second class honour’s degree. This result enabled me to get a studentship grant for my Master’s degree later.
The Faculty of Civil and Structural Engineering at Sheffield has a very good reputation. There were over one hundred students on the course, including four women. We designed bridges, hydraulic systems, cantilevers and buildings.
I enjoyed living in halls of residence. In Sorby Hall, I had my own room, so I had a balance between privacy and a great social life. I saw the punk rocker Iggy Pop live in concert in Sheffield.
During my final year at Sheffield, I had a girlfriend called Jenny. She was very attractive and fun but occasionally she would check into a psychiatric hospital in Oxford where her parents (who were both doctors) lived.
I reached the end of the three-year course without proper consideration about what I should do with the rest of my life. I really had no idea what to do, so my job applications were scattered rather than focused.
HOW THE MIDDLE CLASS INCUBATE NON-CONFORMISTS
The middle class have a knack of developing non-conformists. Relevant non-conformists include George Orwell, Punk rocker Joe Strummer (The Clash) and Jim Morrison (The Doors).
George Orwell wrote about his childhood in his book, Such, Such were the Joys. In this book, Orwell explained that he was the poor boy in a class of rich kids. Naturally, the division of wealth caused young Orwell to have low self-esteem.
Here is a list of ways used by parents to make their child insecure, non-conformist and rebellious:
1. Ensure that the child’s friends and peers are wealthier than him or her
2. Enhance the family name through illusion (perhaps, by altering the family ancestry) to establish an unattainable standard
3. Make him wrong always by demanding support from your spouse regardless of who is right
4. Make acceptance conditional on behaviour and achievements
5. Employ a strategy to excommunicate him; devise ways of blocking communication; and never offer help when he or she needs it
6. Offer or give things that he or she should want, not what they really want
7. Never listen to him or her, and never ask for their opinion on any matter pertaining to the family
8. Blame all of the family’s problems on him, as scapegoat, black sheep, and sacrificial lamb
9. Undermine him or her whenever an opportunity arises
The above list represents a system of abuse that is popular in England.
There is an excellent black and white film about rebellion at a public school called ‘If…’. Lindsay Anderson directed this 1968 film. The principle actor was Malcolm McDowell who also starred in Stanley Kubrick’s controversial ‘Clockwork Orange’.
A YEAR ‘OUT’
It’s ironic that my ‘year out’ turned out to be the beginning of my ‘life out’.
During the first half of this ‘year out’, I worked with the Hertfordshire County Council in a magnificent redbrick mansion. In the Traffic Department, I was involved with traffic surveys. We would stop vehicles and ask them where they had travelled from and where they were travelling to. Later, we would allocate grid references for each journey and feed all this data into our mainframe computer.
The most interesting answer to my question, ‘where are you travelling to?’ was, ‘to that massive tree in the field yonder!’ I asked the driver why he was driving to that tree and he explained that he was a photographer and he wanted some photographs of it.
I rented a room in a school teacher’s house during my employment with the Hertfordshire County Council. The schoolteacher, Steve Neate, was an amusing guy and an avid sportsman. He commented on several occasions that I should use my cross-country running for a team sport. However, I was content enough running on my own to keep fit and healthy.
After resigning from the Hertfordshire County Council, I booked a single airline ticket to Los Angeles to meet a guy called Abbas who I met when I worked with Camp America in New York State. Unfortunately, Abbas didn’t show up, so I travelled solo on a Greyhound bus across the States to Miami. The total cost of this bus journey was just $99 in 1984.
This coach journey took me across the Nevada desert to Flagstaff and the Grand Canyon, Las Vagas and New Orleans where I stayed with a friend from Lillian Penson Hall. One morning, the coach stopped at a diner where I ate waffles and drank a ‘bottomless cup’ of coffee. While engrossed in a conversation, I noticed that my coach was driving away from the diner. I had to sprint after the coach until it stopped at a set of traffic lights where I alighted the coach. This was the only time in my life when I was unable to pay for my waffles and coffee.
When I returned to England, my girlfriend Jenny arranged for us to take a working holiday in Frejus, South France. We worked for caravan entrepreneurs Ron and Ruby Stamp. I would site caravans using Ron’s land Rover while Jenny would assist his wife Ruby with cleaning.
During this working holiday, I applied for Master’s degree programs and eventually I was offered a place at Imperial College’s Management Science Department. Sadly, Jenny’s mental health deteriorated, so she returned to England after three or four months.
When I returned to England, I developed my holiday photographs and showed them to my mother’s mother (Granny). Granny, who had Alzheimer’s by now, pointed to a photograph of bare-chested Yours Truly with the Grand Canyon in the background and commented, ‘Who is that beautiful woman?’ Mum came to my rescue and said, ‘It’s Philip!’ Granny pointed to my enhanced pectoral muscles which I developed at the gymnasium and said, ‘But she has such beautiful breasts!’
TERTIARY EDUCATION
The Science and Engineering Research Council (SERC) awarded me a studentship grant for my postgraduate studies at Imperial College of Science and Technology, London. My SERC grant enabled me to complete a one-year Master’s degree in management science.
During this year, I lived at the Lillian Penson postgraduate hall of residence, near Paddington Station. This was an ideal location because I could stroll across Hyde Park to Imperial College in just twenty minutes.
At Lillian Penson Hall, I was socially active and I took on the position of Social Secretary. I organized parties and various social events. My colleagues accepted me because I made a positive contribution to the student community, but I noticed that some people thought I was a bit eccentric.
Once, when I was having a fit of laughter, Ken Morrison, the president of Lillian Penson Hall, commented, ‘Oh, that’s just Phil being Phil!’ An American nuclear scientist called ‘Mad Mike’ called me ‘Intellectual Skinhead’ on account of my intellect and my abrasive sledgehammer-style of behaviour.
Sometimes our social group would venture out to a local public house near Paddington. We would leave our hall of residence enthusiastically with a brisk stride. However, as we got closer to the pub, other group members would walk slower. Inevitably, I would reach the pub first and buy the first round of drinks. Of course, the slowest walkers never bought a round of drinks, but I didn’t care too much because I had saved up my own money.
Interestingly, the only person I am aware of who failed the Master’s degree program was my French friend Pascal. At a dinner party the Dean of our faculty Samuel Eilon asked each student in turn why they chose his course. Pascal’s answer was, ‘I just need something to do because I want to stay in London for one more year!’ I guess that Pascal learnt a painful lesson in academic political correctness.
It was wonderful returning to the relatively safe haven of academia. However, there was a shadow – feeling excommunicated by my parents – which manifested in a feeling of sadness, self-doubt and bruised self-esteem.
Towards the end of my tenure as Social Secretary, an extremely feisty and attractive lady with olive skin began to take an interest in me. Her name was Nasreen, which means ‘wild rose’ in Urdu. Nasreen’s parents had emigrated to England from a remote village outside Islamabad, Pakistan.
EDUCATION IS A CURSE
I used to believe myself lucky that I had the ability to pass examinations easily with flying colours, but later I began to realise that I was deceiving myself. My ability to memorise hundreds of words, facts, sentences and formulae was initially my key to being noticed by my father. Higher grades and ranking in my class meant more compliments, extra pocket money and enhanced status in the family, but these privileges were only temporary. I perceived happiness in life as being proportional to my examination