An Amateur's Guide to Spirituality by Ella Roberts - HTML preview

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A Spiritual Life

"I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined. I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, pending unplanned. Staring at the blank page before you [and] reaching for something in the distance so close you can almost taste it, release your inhibitions. I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines. We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way. No one else can speak the words on your lips. Drench yourself in words unspoken. Live your life with arms wide open today is where your book begins. The rest is still unwritten" Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield.

What inspiring words!
That song never fails to remind me of who I am and what I can do when I'm feeling powerless and out of sorts!
Anyway moving on; how many times have you heard the following statements?

* There just aren't enough hours in the day.
* I will when the kids have grown up.
* I'm waiting for the right man/woman to come along * I am nothing without...

So, while all this waiting is going on, and you're selling yourself short, what is happening to all those un-used minutes? Nothing at all, the clock just keeps ticking on; and your life continues to go on.

Okay so you can't change the past, and beating yourself up about it hasn't gotten you any further than you were the day before yesterday.

So, what can you do now besides appreciate the view from hindsight? I say take the enlightenment and use it to illuminate all your tomorrows, make your life brighter than you could have ever imagined it to be.

Just change the way you're thinking, and you've already got a new life. All you have to be is patient, persistent, consistent, and bloody determined!

I was and I did it, so what makes you any different but the direction you are coming from and the direction you are going in.

This is my gift to you mate; a tool with many pointers, ideas, suggestions, and guidance. I have taken you to the trough my friend, now it is up to you to drink.

Mind you though, if this is not a trough you are ready to drink from, there are many other troughs and lakes, rivers and seas to choose from; there is plenty of water!

Tap into it and you will never go thirsty again, your life is yours to create, and you have every tool imaginable for that purpose, so go on and make use of it.

However, if you choose not to make use it, your life will go on, and your tools will keep existing - do you understand what I mean by this?

Open Honesty. To me, spirituality is (now) a lifestyle but it didn't start out that way (as you know), because I used to keep it a secret. But over the years it has been constantly reinforced to me that spirituality is about being honest and truthful with and about your Self. So, as tempting as it may be to keep your truth hidden behind closed doors your whole life, if you are working on yourself and growing, it will inevitably spill out into the rest, and everyone (if you were hiding it from them) will find out anyway. I suggest being open from the beginning, and maintaining it whatever the reception you get. One thing that could help take the pressures of disapproval off a bit, is connecting with like-minded people who are perhaps in the same boat as you (starting out/continuing). You could work together to help each other out, provide support, understanding, ideas, fresh perspectives, and guidance on how to further proceed towards your growth. If however, you begin to drift apart and go your own separate ways, don't hold on to them because it will block yours and their flow.

Step by Step. In the early days of my journey I read something (don't remember what or where) about a man who one day woke up and felt an intense, pure and unconditional love for everyone and everything around him. This inspired me so much, that each night after that I would pray to wake up feeling like he did, and each morning I would wake up monitoring and hoping, only to realise later in the day that I still hated school, still felt like an outcast, and still blamed my surroundings for my problems. That's when I decided that for me, the journey would have to take longer and a lot of conscious work. So, when embarking on your own personal journey, take things at your own pace, there is no rush, so enjoy the experience. Besides, if you do too much work (more than you are ready for) your body and mind will let you know by shutting down and refusing to work at all, so unless you want rebels on your hands be patient and considerate. Break your work down into easily digestible chunks, for example, starting with three months of personal development, then bringing relationship development in after six, going on to incorporate work into the mix after nine months, etc. Play around with your options because after a while you will definitely see and feel changes within yourself. But also remember, that this is about you; so although I have cited my experiences and how long (or short) it took me to reach stages in my life, don't model yourself on me or someone else for that matter. If you have to, follow by example but know that you are creating your own life. You are not someone else, and what has worked for them may not work for you; concentrate on yourself and don't worry about what everyone else is up to, there's not much point otherwise.

Comfort and Compassion. I used a whole cocktail of these because if I stuck to just one, I developed an addiction that ceased to work after a while, or didn't help my cause by creating more drama. For example, I had a mentor who was an invaluable source of wisdom, advice and guidance when I called on her, so every time I felt an anxiety attack coming on, the first thing I would do was pick up the phone to call her, but after a while I started to realise she had commitments I was disturbing, and that I was actually draining her of energy, which only made me feel guilty, inconsiderate, selfish, and worse. You could rotate your compassion methods and maybe meditate on Mondays, see friends on Tuesdays, visit a therapist on Wednesdays, get healing on Thursdays, and chakra dance of Fridays - whatever works for you. Speaking of therapists, since I started doing spiritual work I have not been entirely comfortable with conventional therapists because I didn't feel they understood exactly where I was coming from (the ones I’ve seen), so I shopped around for alternatives, and found the Institute of Psychosynthesis Psychotherapy (website details at the back).

Cults. Be very wary of organisations or likeminded people who masquerade as sources of empowerment but instead want to control you. Each has a very different way of going about it, but if you are starting out and feel lost, isolated, misunderstood or confused about your options or even where to start, then you are vulnerable and understandably susceptible to falling under the spell of some egotistical liar who proclaims they are the only one who can "take you there". That without them you are nothing, and that you cannot possibly do it on your own without their help. This is absolute nonsense! And it makes me angry to think about people who do this to others, it's cruel and it is far from anything you can even remotely associate with pure spirituality, which aims to empower not suppress, and set free not control! I suppose a good thing to come out of my isolation at the beginning was that when I finally emerged ready to face the world; I was firmly embedded in my own beliefs and unmovable in my faith. So when some ego induced spiritual claimant tried to tell me I was wrong in trusting my instincts (against them), I told them what to do with their opinions (shove them). They pissed right off because when they realised I wasn't a soft touch, and wouldn't be converted to their dodgy ways of thinking, that easily. So, use your intuition every day and in every way, be discriminating with EVERYONE you come across, even me (if you ever meet me) because that is the best way you will ever know if someone has your best or their own warped interests at heart.

Connecting. Having implied throughout the book that it would be invaluable to connect with like-mindeds, and then warning you to stay away from a particular group, may have got you a little bit confused; my apologies. There is a wonderful centre for Selfdevelopment, run by the Brahma Kumaris Spiritual University, which hosts free lectures on Fridays and Sundays (that I know of) where you can meet like-minded people and connect with them. There is an abundance of people that go there, so if you find one particular character to be unsavoury, or your intuition warns you off a few, then you can always go back and find more. There are also self-development sessions and workshops held by a Light worker called Daphne White, where other like-mindeds also gather and connect, her website details are also at the back. Definitely shop around using your intuition and be very, very aware of what you are feeling in every moment, because even though you may start off feeling drawn towards something, you might get there and feel serious resistance. If this is the case step far away and analyse the reasons from a safe distance. Because think about it, if you are scared, confused or feeling trapped in a situation, you are heaps more vulnerable, and nothing positive or empowering can come from that.

Abundance. A soul mate is that one other person who God made for you, a twin flame whose love transcends lifetimes, and they will love you even in the after life right? Yeah, I used to believe that too - until I actually met one my soul mates! And boy did I get put through some *$%@ nobody should ever experience from a loved one. But that's precisely why I allowed him to get away with it, because I felt such a strong soul connection/recognition, that I clung onto for dear life, and refused to let go of. It was at the end of this relationship that my perception shifted, and I began to realise that all my relationships (even the non-romantic ones) had been conducted in that way, where someone would provide me with one (or two, etc) qualities that I wanted from them (in this case a soul connection) but not others (in this case a stable relationship). But instead of taking what I wanted and allowing the rest to be, I tried to change the qualities I didn't like in him, into ones that I did, and guess what that got me? Yes, resistance. And since he was doing the same to me, and I didn't want to be moulded just as much as he didn't, you ended up with two resistant people not wanting to be changed but trying to change the other, now where did that lead? To a spectacularly devastating break-up that nearly cost me my sanity! So, after my wonderful God-consciousness insight I began to see that there are over a billion people in this world; why was I holding on to just one of them? Especially when he only provided just a few qualities I wanted for my growth. I saw that the best relationships are those that are built on flow (trust, and all the rest) as part of the foundation; if someone provides me with stability but is untrustworthy, I will take the stability and go find trust somewhere else, rather than trying to make the person into a trustworthy one as well. If however, the stable person is giving me more grief than their worth, especially when I am allowing their other qualities to be, I will have to let even the stability go. Because the way I see it is, if I am being filled up with one quality but being drained by another, I am not growing am I? No, I am just staying the same. So, since I managed to attract stability into my life once (in the form of that person) then all I have to do is call upon stability again, which will come in the form of another person, who may even surprise me and bring with them a whole host of other qualities that I am looking for - do you understand what I mean? What's the point of holding onto one person that is destroying you when there are over a billion others to choose from, that won’t?

Life is a gradual unfolding, not a crippling uncontrollable situation that you have no say in. It is a journey that you create with all of your thoughts, and manifest your experiences using.

When you begin to see and accept that, empowerment is inevitable.
Don't be closed off to the light, open your eyes and embrace the power you have within you; God, the Master creator made you in Its image and likeness, so everything It can do, you can do as well!
Grab hold of your power and create a life that reinforces everything you are much entitled to; love, money, joy, happiness, peace, and abundance!
And anytime you feel yourself slipping back into unconscious patterns, just have a good old look at your achievements, what you have come through to be here, and then continue on your path with renewed determination.
You can't fail... just look at me. It took "time" but I eventually made it through!
My blessings to you all.
Peace and love, Ella.