CHAPTER 12
A NEW BEGINNING
I was not aware that after suffering the death of a loved one and being under a great deal of stress for a prolonged period of time that your health can begin to suffer. I was not prepared for this.
June 25, 2005 was a Saturday. I was driving my car headed for my massage appointment with Maggie, a friend of mine. She saw clients at her home, and as I turned the corner onto her street I felt I needed to make a wide turn into her driveway. The next thing I remember my foot was on the gas pedal, and I had driven into her garage and side of her house. I was in shock, the car was still running, and the keys were stuck in the ignition, and I couldn’t get them out. I panicked and reached for my cell phone to call Ron. He answered the phone, and I told him to come quickly, I’d had an accident. Maggie came running out of her house and asked if I was okay. I got out of the car, the alarm from the car ringing in my ears. Dazed and confused I walked into her house. Maggie asked once again if I was okay, and except for some stiffness and soreness I felt okay. I burst into tears and kept looking at the front of the car, now in Maggie’s garage and the side of her house split away from the garage as if a tornado had just come through.
Ron arrived within minutes. After seeing the amount of damage, he came in the front door of Maggie’s house very distraught and wondering if I was okay. I burst into tears again and kept saying, “I don’t know what happened.” Once he realized I was okay, he immediately took charge, called a tow truck, and was able to get the keys out of the ignition. He called the insurance company and started the necessary paperwork to get the damage and car repaired.
The following Monday, I went to see the doctor. I was instructed to wear a holter monitor for seventy-two hours to record my heart rhythm in addition to other tests. I also saw a neurologist and had a CAT scan and an electroencephalogram. All tests were normal with the exception that at times I was having an irregular heart rhythm. Two weeks later. I started experiencing pains in my stomach. and I could hardly stand up and was advised to see a gastroenterologist to undergo a procedure called an endoscopy. At the time of the endoscopy, an erosive area at the junction of the esophagus and stomach was found, and I was prescribed medication and was told it would probably take six to eight weeks to heal.
Over the next several weeks, I felt physically and mentally exhausted from all the tests, procedures, and medication in addition to being depressed. I thought to myself with everything I had been through over the last six years, why me? Was my life ever going to get better? It was then I realized that the mind, body, and spirit are all connected. I had read this somewhere, but I was now experiencing it first-hand.
Bev, my friend, called and suggested that perhaps I needed to call Deborah, the woman Ron and I had seen when Sharon was in a coma and who had helped us through that time in our lives. Deborah had moved to Hawaii, but I still had her e-mail address. I e-mailed Deborah and waited for her reply. Within three days, she replied and told me she could arrange for a session over the phone the following Saturday at eleven o’clock in the morning.
Sharply at 11 am, Saturday morning, July 9, I called.The session lasted two hours. Deborah is a very gifted spiritual individual, and I trusted the information and visions she was receiving on my behalf. I explained my situation and my fears. Deborah spoke in a soft deliberate way, stating that the information she was receiving was that in a previous lifetime I did indeed have an auto accident which had left me unable to speak and disabled. I had brought the memory of that accident into this lifetime, so that it might be resolved, and so that I was able to live through it and resolve that issue this lifetime. She explained that what we fear we can draw to us both good and bad, and we create our own reality. She also went on to say that this also had to do with Sharon’s death and that when Sharon left she exited on an energetic level through my heart and there was an energetic hole in my heart. She emphasized this was not a physical hole but on an energetic level. I felt this to be true. Indeed there was a hole in my heart. You never “get over” losing a child. You learn to live with the experience. Deborah went on to say that acupuncture would help and that seeing a naturopathic physician would help.
I took her advice, made an appointment with an acupuncturist, and with a naturopathic physician. I also had a complete physical exam. All the tests were normal, and so I decided to begin to take better care of myself and to change my lifestyle. I began to eat a healthy diet, exercise, and with the help of the naturopath started to take natural medicines along with regular acupuncture treatments. After a few months, I was feeling better.
It has now been four years since Sharon’s passing. Ron and I have moved to Las Vegas closer to Chris and Heidi. We love the Southwest and the climate it provides. It reminds us of how much we enjoyed Phoenix when we lived there. I begin each day praying with my Chanupa and on occasion will burn sage. I ask for good health, direction and guidance in my life and express my appreciation for the spiritual gifts I have been given. I have also decided to become a Hospice volunteer to try and give back to those people who helped me at a very difficult time in my life.
I appreciate life and those around me and always finish a conversation with “I love you” to those special people in my life. Life is looking good for the first time in eight years.