Value judgments usually come from people around us, but in this case when I
provide a value judgment without sharing with you show actually made that
judgment, you find yourself agreeing with it quickly and easily. This is because
relative words are really easy to agree with.
These are words that judge whether something is good bad, positive negative,
slow fast, better worse, hot cold etc.
Spinning these words into your sentences help to take the other person in the
direction you want them to go, such as…
“It’s fun to go to the beach.”
“The water is really warm.”
“It’s good to improve oneself.”
On their own, these statements can seem like they make sense but when you
logically think about the statement, “The water is really warm.” – You begin
asking, compared to what? Compared to your freezer back home, or Antarctica?
Or, that “it’s fun to go to the beach.” – What’s fun about it, and who said its fun?
Is it more fun than sitting at home staring at a wall, or than having someone poke you with a blunt object? But because the statement makes sense on its own, the
other person is more likely to accept that thought, and will be more likely to base their thinking later on in the interaction.
The same goes for various comments that occur in our everyday lives from people
around us. Women may be inclined to hear from their friends comments such as,
“being fat is bad”, “skinny is good”, “wide shoulders aren’t nice”, “narrow hips
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suck”, “larger ankles are bad” and “large breasts are sexy”. None of these
statements make logical sense on their own, yet our emotional brain accepts
them as true (most of the time) without considering the logical side to the
comment.
For example, the comment, “large breasts are sexy” makes no logical sense,
here’s why… First of all, in order to define something as ‘large’ one must compare to something else. Someone who develops a D cup through puberty may have the
perception that C cups are small. Whereas someone who develops an A cup may
have the perception that C cups are large. But this is only a perception, not a
reality. Our perceptions are not reality, they are our experience of reality by
looking through our own individual ‘looking glasses’ so to speak. So large to one person, may be small to another and instantly the original comment loses its basis for logic right there, but what about the word sexy being used? The same goes…
What one person believes is sexy, another believes is ugly. Sexy is another one of those terms that’s highly individualized. People’s sexual likes and dislikes can vary greatly, and to define a body-part’s attractiveness based upon one (or many)
people’s sexual interest, is not logical at all.
In most men’s case, they don’t typically hear other men commenting on the level
of attractiveness of other men. Instead, they’ll see and hear comments from the
opposite sex, media and perhaps notice the way other men look and make
comparisons based upon that. A man may walk into a gas station and see a line of
men’s magazines all depicting a ‘model’ with a six pack where headlines read,
“get a sexy six pack today” or he may even overhear a couple of women making
comments such as “muscles are so hot” or “abs are nice”. Again, this is not reality, this is only the media trying to sell magazines, and the perception of a couple of women.