I would like you to think back to what I said in Chapter 13 about doing your best but letting go of outcomes. Many people tell me that they often feel guilty, or even worse feel guilty most of the time. The cause is almost always guilt about how we have treated , or handled a friend or family member but obviously could also be guilt over some immoral or illegal act(s) that you have performed. A certain amount of guilt is good and healthy and is the incentive of us to improve and not repeat acts which are 'wrong' or hurt others.
But I hope by now that you are starting to see the patterns and the common threads in this e-book. If you have done your best and tried to do the right thing then you really do have to shut the door on it and let go of the outcomes. Clearly something is wrong if you are going through life always feeling guilty about other people.
You have to be realistic. Life is not easy, and it is complicated. Life is messy. Families and family relationships are not easy. But you are united by much more than you are divided. And remember that family relationships are with people who you would not necessarily have chosen as friends. It is common with family members that although you are bonded by love you may not always like them or admire them.
You can often feel responsible for all the people that you are closest to and love in your life. When things go wrong for them it must for some reason be your fault. As a parent it is very common to feel responsible for your children for their whole lives. But you know when children are grown up and have become adults they are responsible for their own lives. They cannot blame you and their upbringing forever . It is common for separated or divorced parents to feel guilty about children from their first relationships. But you need to be realistic and not beat yourself up forever. Marriages fail. It is a fact of life. It is sad but it happens. No one gets married and has children thinking that this is going to happen. But if you are trying to balance a complicated life and do your best for children from previous and current relationships, and for previous and current partners then that is the best you can do. There is only so much money and time to go around. Life and particularly family life is rarely perfect.
Neither is it your job to spend unlimited time with and amuse everybody close to you. Time is very limited and you are entitled to use some of it to do things that you want to do that may not necessarily involve them. And you need to fit in time for relaxation and meditation. You are entitled to e.g. watch a film, or read a book or go to the gym without feeling guilty that you should always be spending time with family or friends. If some of the people you love have few friends of their own that is not something that is your fault.
Some people you love will do less well than others. Maybe they are less able, less hard working, or less ambitious. If they are adults then that is not your problem or responsibility. By all means help them from time to time but then shut the door on it.
Similarly if you have had and recovered from addictions in your life e.g . excessive drinking, drugs or gambling then if you have recovered then you should no longer feel guilty about it. You cannot change the past and you will never be happy if you continually feel guilty about addictions that you once succumbed to but have now escaped. As a further example suppose that you have been unfaithful to your partner and now regret it, or maybe have stolen money then if you have made a resolution to be better and never repeat the act then again no good will come from continuing to feel guilty about it.
Affirmation.