26. Simplify Your Life And Declutter
This is the point where you need to start taking stock of your life and making some hard choices. The reason is that unless we do this from time to time our lives can be frittered away dealing with things that are superfluous habits, left in our lives by the tide of living. It’s important that, occasionally and regularly you take positive action to simplify and then simplify again and rid yourself of the superfluous. Simplifying your activities does not mean sinking into laziness - on the contrary it means acquiring a growing freedom. This is because you recognise that this ‘clutter’ causes you to be permanently busy and harassed and so you cannot savour anything nor do anything properly without the need to rush it. It’s not just about decluttering what you do, and how you spend your time, you should also think about your material possessions and get rid of those that you do not particularly need or have time to do justice to. You have nothing to prove and no appearances to keep up. It is a vital ingredient of building a happy life that you have the time to enjoy it. Recognise that it is hard to feel happy when you are always rushing around and you never have enough time.
We all feel excitement when we acquire something that we have wanted for a while. This is natural. It can be the acquisition of something material whether big, like a new home, or smaller like a new phone or item of clothing. Taking up a new hobby, or on a bigger scale maybe starting a new job or business can similarly give us a thrill of excited pleasure. Whatever causes that adrenalin rush, it’s true that initially this change or acquisition will be a welcome addition to your life. Unfortunately though this doesn’t last; gaining pleasure from things outside of ourselves has a habit not only of fading with time as we get used to them but also bringing with it more clutter, more things that have to be looked after or paid attention to. More time spent ‘servicing’ our life – and less spent remembering that happiness does not come from any of these pleasures but from within. A truly happy person can be blissfully happy just sitting on a park bench armed with no toys or gadgets at all!
The reason that an over-complicated life is counterproductive is this. All material possessions need maintenance and eventually go wrong, so the more of them you have the more of your time will be taken up with these demands and frustrations. All properties (flats, houses, cars, motor bikes, boats etc) require maintenance, cleaning, and come with bureaucracy and administration which will reduce the amount of free time that you have. These may sound like nice problems to have but whilst wealthier life styles may look glamorous, the reality is they are characterised by having to deal with the overheads, maintenance and administration. This is as well as the obvious possible additional stress from the increasing financial demands of your ever expanding portfolio of ‘things’. and the greater pressure on your time to actually use and do justice to enjoying all your goodies.
I am absolutely not advocating that you should not enjoy and take pleasure in material things or pastimes in your life. Quite the opposite. Hobbies and possessions have their place. However, I advise you to make your choices thoughtfully, and do not have too many; have the amount that is right for you, and allows you not to feel overwhelmed or pressured and over stretched. Boat owners joke that the pleasure of acquiring a new boat is only matched by the pleasure of finally disposing of it and the relief of getting rid of the responsibility and overheads of ownership. Well actually most major material acquisitions can be like this so be wary that they can trap and seduce you in the short term but can never bring you long term happiness.
In a similar theme running a business and making money can at the outset be rewarding, and satisfying, but as the years roll by you may find that the demands become increasingly intrusive, and start to feel trapped unable to control and turn off these demands. Similarly fame may at first glance seem glamorous but as we all know is always accompanied by a lack of freedom, security issues, and the plague of unwelcome attention. Eventually most famous people start to resent their lack of anonymity and freedom. No wonder it is a fact that happy and contented people usually have simpler and less complicated lives. Be warned!
When I talk about simplifying and decluttering, I also want you to be able to relax and take time to reflect. Do not believe that you always have to be working, busy, or physically active. There is nothing wrong with sitting and reading or just thinking – indeed there is a lot right in being able to be quiet and thoughtful and not always ‘transmitting’ to other people. So, work on curtailing the endless stream of pointless talk that we may engage in; welcome some quiet time and get rid of the delusion that we need to be talking and active all the time.
A practical technique that is very effective in helping to simplify your activities is what I call ‘setting out your stall’. What this means is being up front and clear with those around you about what you want to do and what you do not want to do. I don’t mean this in an aggressive or selfish way. But when you really do not want to do something then be polite but clear about it; don't say maybe when you mean no. Remember that other people are not mind readers and you need to communicate your own wishes and particularly the exact nature and limits of the contribution you wish to make to any shared project, work, or other human activity. If you do not then you can end up involved in activities (both work and play) that you are not genuinely and wholeheartedly committed to. Generally people around you in your life will want to live in harmony with you and will fit in with your wishes and choices. If your wishes do not work for them, and they still want you to undertake different tasks, make a greater or smaller contribution, or have different priorities they will tell you and this will be an invitation for you to consider their views. If you use this technique with openness and respectfulness to both yourself and others, you will find it prevents resentment building in your relationships.