Chapter 8 - Improve Your Marriage With Meditation
Marriage is meant to be a sacred bond between two lovers who pledge their devotion to each other for life, but reality soon kicks in as soon as the bliss of the wedding day has ended. Married life is not so easy to keep balanced and harmonious, the constant demands of life add pressure when people are least ready to entertain difficulty, and before you know it, stress kicks in and the harmony is then challenged, the marriage is tested and opinions begin to lock horns with each other.
Meditation can prove to be a valuable tool for these testing times if you’re willing to engage with it daily and maintain diligent effort, a turnaround will be evident in a short time with cooperation on both sides – naturally. The mind needs to be cleared regularly of the daily build up of thoughts, worries, frustrations and fears, to name a few, the mentality needs clearing every once in a while if it is to work efficiently, and marriage needs exactly that; clarity and efficiency with regards to proper communication.
When a marriage has issues relating to communication it is sensible to back-off until the air is cleared and conversation can resume without tension or aggravation of any kind. This is the clarity that was mentioned earlier, it is important to communicate effectively in any marriage and meditation can help to relax an already tense and emotion-heavy mind.
There is no sense in trying to get your point across when you and your spouse are at a stand-off with each other. An argument or a heated debate usually sees two opponents who both feel equal amounts of conviction regarding their reasons for arguing,
however, in any argument both parties are usually ‘right’ in their own minds – the point here is that no argument is ever won because both individuals are convinced that they hold the higher, moral ground.
Meditating can indeed cool those flames and bring solution to a home that is rife with tension and hostile thoughts between the married couple. Meaningful exchanges can be had between any spouse when the fire has been allowed to die out. Energy is recuperated at an astonishing rate, tempers are controlled, moods become lifted and solutions are able to be discussed with equal input from both husband and wife for a better way forward.
Achieving such benefits can be swift if meditation is enjoyed regularly and nothing is forced. Just a willingness to commit to bringing about some much needed change along with 15 to 20 minutes morning and evening of every day, done together or separate at first, this is a mental tool like no other with the power to improve your marriage miles beyond what any argument could.
Meditation will lift burdens that you probably were not aware even existed inside of your being. Daily routine has that effect on people – married or otherwise – you think you know all there is to know about yourself when a real shocker comes along and gives you a reality check.
Avoiding such rude awakenings can be impossible without the correct mindset in place. A mind that is capable of observing all there is about a relationship is a mind that knows how to perceive itself. Know yourself, know your spouse and others, this is a rare quality that many people lack due to not spending enough time with themselves, hence why many people are a product of society, some hardly know who they are – no sense of identity because they’ve been busy copying/mimicking the lifestyles of others because of a low sense of self-esteem or absolutely no sense of self-worth.
Meditation is a practice that has outlived many others, it’s simplistic nature delivers a powerful package to uplift spirit, soothe minds as well as clear them, align chakras in order to help maximise their benefits of energy, healing is also found in meditation where the body’s immune system and vital energies are able to do what they do best and sustain you.
Marriage needs a different kind of nutrition just like the body does, it needs nurturing like any worthwhile thing needs, caring for yourself is the best way to start caring for your spouse and your marriage, as providing the very best for yourself is the best way to provide quality for your loved one also. How else can you give to others what you cannot give to yourself?
You matter just as much as any other person in the world and must persevere for the sake of your marriage if you honestly believe that there is a marriage worth saving. And if there really is something that you feel can be rebuilt then it starts with rebuilding your own views on partnerships like married life, which is ultimately a partnership of sorts – no?
Choose a good time to sit with your spouse and discuss how you both feel about moving forwards with improving your marriage. If the response is positive then you can both arrange suitable times to sit together for 20 minutes in stillness and silence, simply observing the thoughts that appear in the mind, being careful not to argue with the thoughts that you may find hard to accept, just observe and let out recurring thoughts with each exhalation to maximise clarity of the mind.
Discuss what you felt afterwards with each other, research meditation forums and speak with others who have stories to share relating to their successes with meditation, allowing this to inspire you and your partner to maintain your efforts with an even brighter outlook. If/when you feel ready, think about joining a local meditation class or group where you can interact with others who have a similar ambition to your own – it always helps to ‘bounce’ input/knowledge off of others – sharing the knowledge that you acquire on your journey to improve your marriage is key to obtaining even more valuable knowledge to supplement your efforts. Try making meditation an addition to your marriage today for change that lasts.