CHAPTER 4
WHY LIVE WITH
STRESS, WORRY,
ANXIETY?
IT’S A CHOICE
In today's world, stress and anxiety have become a part of human existence. It would be rare to find somebody who lives without worries and tensions. People are depressed over what is happening in their life. There may be emotional issues or financial issues. Suicide is no more something that shocks us because around the globe it happens practically once every 40 seconds. But why do we live with stress, worry, and anxiety?
We don't realize that we have a choice. We can live with worry or we can choose Peace. We can let depression overcast our lives or we can let the sunshine of cheerfulness brighten our day. We can't control the weather, but we can control our life. What causes anxiety attacks is not what happens to us, but the way we react to what happens to us. We all face problems. It is how we deal with problems that matters.
An inspirational speaker was giving a talk on how to solve problems. He asked the audience, 'How many of you have problems?' and they all raised their hands. Then he questioned them, 'How many of you would like to have a life that has no problems?' Again, they raised their hands. Havinggonethroughthegrindof life, he knew for a fact that a problem-free life was an illusion. It was like a mirage in the desert. He told the audience, 'I discovered an incredible place on the way here today. There are many people there who stay without problems. How many of you would like to join them?' They all raised their hands again. Then he shared the final secret, ‘The place is just a few streets away. It is a cemetery. Does anybody want to go there to join the dead?’ Nobody raised their hand!
We human beings want to live, but we want a problem- free life. We don't realize the word problem comes from the word probolo – something that is thrown in front of us. Problems are meant to strengthen us. They are not stop signs; they are guidelines. They are not stumbling blocks; they are steppingstones, provided we view them as challenges that we must overcome and not let them defeat us.
Why do we lose our Peace of Mind and how? We let a simple thought steal our Peace. Ram was having dinner with his friends in the neighbourhood, when one of the guests made an announcement, 'Ram's mother has just had a heart attack!'Ram started crying. Someone said that she was taken to a hospital in an ambulance even as he was partying. Just then another neighbour came and clarified, 'It is not your mother. It was the other Ram's mother – Sriram, who lives at the end of the street.' In a moment, Ram's face glowed as his sorrow turned into joy. 'Thank you, God!' he screamed with enthusiasm. How did Ram, in a matter of seconds, experience so much distress and the very next moment, so much joy? How did one announcement break his heart, and the other, make the misery depart? It was his reaction, his attitude. He did not even hear the announcement properly, nor did he verify it. He just let the news make him sink into sorrow.
Many of us are like Ram. We get heartbroken at small announcements. In fact, we make our life such that we are always on our toes anxious and stressed. We make it a habit to anticipate bad news and we worry all the time.
We live like Deepak. Deepak opens the door of his life to all the possible junk in the world. All day long, he watches the news. Repeatedly, he notices death and destruction. Somebody has died in a car accident, and many have lost their lives in a plane crash. He even personalizes an explosion in a faraway country and becomes miserable as he watches the television replay the clip of the blast, till that video is deeply ingrained in his memory and he plays it in his dreams too. We don't have to be like Deepak, constantly reading the news of murder, death, and destruction. We have a choice. We can live like Sandeep.
Sandeep is joyous and cheerful. He barely watches the news and he has stopped subscribing to any newspaper. He is updated with important news by many of his friends. His life is not surrounded by stress, worry, and anxiety. He doesn’t let the sorrow of an accident depress him, nor be aghast by an act of terrorism. When a problem comes, he welcomes it. To him, pain is like a zooming train. It surely comes, but never stays. 'Of course, there will be problems,' he says, 'but just because there are problems, I am not going to be unhappy!'
I am going to be happy today,
Though the clouds seem dark and grey,
No matter what comes my way,
I am going to choose to be happy today.
Sandeep is an optimist. How does he manage this optimism? He never lets negative thoughts sink into his system. Every time something is depressing, he laughs over it. He fills his life with humour and laughter. He has tied his Monkey Mind and doesn't let it jump from one misery to another. He has learned this art from his friend, Steven.
Steven lives life moment by moment. He enjoys Peace and bliss, because he does not let his Mind swing to a 'yesterday' that is gone, nor lets it jump into a 'tomorrow' not yet born. Steven knows that life is all about the 'present moment'. He has learned the art not to live in 'yesterday'. Unlike others, Steven does not live with guilt and regret, letting his Mind nurse, curse, and rehearse a past incident. He knows how to reverse it and live with joy. Steven has learnt to eliminate fear from his life. What is FEAR – It is a False Expectation Appearing Real. Fear is not a real danger. It is a thief that steals our Peace of Mind.
Is it necessary for us to live with worry and stress, fear, and anxiety, or do we have a choice? Most of us do not learn the art of being in Peace. We let turmoil tear us apart. We don't realize that we have a choice. We can either become conscious of our thoughts and overcome the toxic fumes as we live in Peace, or we can worry and let worry shred our life into pieces. It is a choice. If we become conscious of the truth that it is our very own Mind that is causing the anxiety, we will not lose our treasured Peace. We will make it a priority to live blissfully as we make Peace the foundation of our life.
Where is all this misery born? What makes us lose our Peace? It is our own Mind. Stress, worry, and anxiety is not an outside thing. That's why, when we fall asleep, we forget all our worries and we wake up after a peaceful sleep despite all the problems in the world. The moment we wake up, the Mind becomes conscious and gets stressed. The Mind works like a motor that gets heated up with stressful thoughts, and many of us make this a habit. We let one particular thought dominate our Mind and allow it to become like a thorn that keeps poking and piercing us, making us cry. We don't need it. We have to realize the truth about life. Some things are within our control. We can do our very best, but there are things beyond our control. Why worry about them? If we unnecessarily worry about anything and everything in the world, our peaceful and blissful life will become stressful and full of tears. Our challenge is to calm the Mind, control it, and not let it rule us. We must take the help of our intellect to discriminate and make a choice. I learnt a lovely prayer and repeat it ever so often:
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,