Since our birth, we have been thru a series of experiences that allow us to grasp what is life, if we pay attention to it. However, we also received instruction that conditions our mind into structured thought processes. These mental structures permit us to exist in community, thus they are essential, but they also prevent us from seeing beyond them. We learned about numbers and their strict rules of application. We learned about letters and their strict rules of combination. From this, we learned how to read and count, but we also learned how to encase our mind into a fortress of knowledge, blinding us to the true nature of things, giving only a few openings to see the limited ranges of the wide possibilities life offers.
In Buddhism, there is a teaching about illusion that is often misinterpreted. The Buddha also thought a lot about reality and the pure perception of it. But most uninformed Buddhists simply say that everything is an illusion, which is not what the Buddha said. This leads the Buddhist students to confusion as to what is real and what is not.
Let us take an example at how we are thought about the notion of colors, when we are young. A rainbow shows us a complete range of possible colors. There is no separation between each color. The rainbow is continuous.
Using the grayscale image above, please imaging a continuous color range of light. On a color scale, we put worded labels where the colors seemed to be the most obvious. Red, yellow, green… we put tags on the scale to refer to colors, and in no time, we start forgetting that it is a scale of infinite possibilities, while we keep referring only to the colors where we put a label. Of course, if you go into a pain shop, you’ll find thousands of labels referring to as many colors. But when we are kids, we are first thought only a few colors, and that by mixing them, we end up with another set of colors. Quickly, we forget about the range of colors in the rainbow, and we only look at the colors where we were told there was a label. If you ask a kid to describe the colors on a rainbow, he will simply spit out the structured set of labels he was thought, and he won’t even understand the concept of a continuous range of colors unless we explain it to him. Because of his conditioning, he only sees the colors we told him about, and refers to them like if there was a separation between each of these labeled colors.
The same goes with time. Time flows in an un-separated continuity. In order to become more productive, we decided to put labels around a circle, using numbers as a structure, so that we could do things at the same time.
We created a system along the continuous line of time, so that we could become more efficient in whatever we do. However, within only a few generations, we forgot that we are the ones who put these lines around the circle, and we started to become enslaved by the system that we previously created. Most of us are no longer using time to remain in a state of mastery over their production means, but are encased in the structure of time.
Was the universe created from 9am to 5pm, Monday thru Friday? Is the flow of life so tight in time with any other species than the human? In fact, does anything else in the universe flow according to what the clock reads? Time is a concept that we created to understand each other, that we enforced to become more productive, and that we now fear. That is what we mean by “illusion”. Right now, it is not really the 28th of may 2008 at 4:02PM while I am typing this line of text. However, this is how I would express it to another human being inquiring about it.
We have to keep using words to refer to colors, and numbers to refer to moments, or else, we would not be able to understand each other, let alone work together. However, we must strive to become free of the system, not by rejecting it, but by regaining control over it. Our systems are meant to empower us, not to enslave us. Until we can look at absolutely everything in terms of possibilities, we are encased in a fortress of definite and limited options.
The outstanding amount of conditioning we have acquired since birth goes way beyond words and numbers. Everything we perceive with our senses is categorized, labeled and classified within our mind. This behavior creates a schism between what is perceived and the experience resulting form its perception. No wonder most humans feel anguish and despair. We look at life while remaining separated from it.
If you wish to gain the true knowledge of what is “Time”, you have to stop looking at a clock, and turn your attention inwards. While breathing softly in a natural manner, pay attention to your experience of time. Do not dwell in an intellectual recitation of what you thing about time. In fact, try not to think at all in terms of deduction and comprehension. Rather, contemplate your experience of time. Breathe softly and feel. Be aware of what is the flow of time. Experience it in a conscious un-worded thought. Try your best to keep your mind silent, and be mindful of what is time. It can take a while for your thoughts to go down. It can take another while for your mind to start experiencing time in an un-separated, continuous flow. You will succeed in experiencing time out of the illusionary perception when you are spontaneously filled with a rush of life, or happiness, that you cannot explain. This can only happen if your mind is calmed, and if you spend enough time not counting time, paying attention to the pure experience of it.
The same goes with colors. Imagine a complete range of colors while trying to relieve your mind of its references. Contemplate the un-worded experience of color in a single unified range of infinite possibilities. If you start counting colors, or thinking about specific colors, you are not doing it right. Don’t think about it, simply contemplate it with no thoughts. Eventually, your entire visual perception center will be purified, and you will start seeing the reality of color, not the illusion of it.
If you practice yourself at perceiving all things in a united, continuous and infinite range of possibilities, you will eventually awaken to what reality is.
In our habit of managing everything in a compartmented way, we have developed a need to control everything. Everyone according to each their own system of belief, will try to control each situation they face, so that they may bring about a stronger sense of security. This need for control is the result of our insecurity. We wish to avoid suffering, and we use drastic ways to prevent it. However, these drastic methods go beyond the control of immediate situations. While we are un-awakened to reality, we wish to control absolutely everything.
When we do not control a situation, or the information regarding a situation, we will try to regain control by using power. The only thing that can prevent the un-awakened mind to use power, is the fear of a more intense opposing power, that threatens to apply pain. Thus, rule number one about avoiding suffering comes back into play. In order to remain in control of a situation, or at least to remain in control of our level of suffering, we learn when to use power in order to gain more control, and when to refrain from using power, so to keep the lowest possible level of pain.
However, we humans have another tool for situations when power simply won’t work. It is manipulation. Manipulation is still another defense system that we use to gain more control over various situations, when raw power simply won’t work. We have all been thru situations when we start to make up plans to try to get a hold of a daily life situation. Manipulation is yet again a method used by the un-awakened human, hoping to gain more control, in order to avoid pain.
Control, power and manipulation are the ways of war. They always end up in painful situations. The outcome of their use is always the perpetuation of suffering. The main reason for this is that these behaviors are the result of attachments to definite separate definitions of our existence. When we wish to possess something that is not ours, when we wish to receive more reconnaissance than we deserve, when we wish to receive more attention than what we worked for, or when we want to be compensated more for our work… these situations result in producing attachment to things, feelings, emotions, and it results in producing pain.
The source of any conflict is our attachment to their object. The only solution out of this battle is to look inwards at our attachments, and to try to understand them to the best of our ability. Yet, understanding will not suffice. We also have to feel our attachments, and feel their resulting conflicts. By allowing ourselves to feel all that is related to each experience of suffering, we become free of the enslavement of the object of attachment.
Why then don’t we just delve into ourselves and resolve every suffering in our life? The answer is simple: fear of the unknown.What we fear most is what we do not know. The only way to resolve any type of conflict is to look within and become fully conscious of all the emotional implications of this conflict. The first hint to every conflict is to ask ourselves: what am I attached to in this situation? What do I fear losing, or not gaining?
Paying attention to what we fear losing, or yearn to acquire, implicates that we look at the core of our motivations. A normal human being has no idea about what really drives his decisions. We are more used to react to built-in stimulation than to really think about each and every choice we make. Even when we believe we are spending a lot of time thinking about something, we are not even noticing that what we are thinking about is how much suffering we hope to spare. We seem to be thinking about the goods and bads of each alternative, but we mostly are comparing levels of suffering depending on the various types of attachments we keep in our lives. Yet, we hide this level of reflection to ourselves, sustaining the belief that we are in control.
If we were to look straightforward into the heart of every situation, we would immediately pay attention to what we are attached to, and to what is the resulting suffering. Why don’t we do this? Fear of the unknown. Where we are not in control of the situation, we fear. Looking inwards, and simply the act of feeling something inside us, we try to avoid. We wish to avoid feeling something that we don’t already see inside us. While we are unaware of what lies inside our mind, heart and body, we fear what we could find out.
However, it is only by going inside to feel what is there, that we can acquire the knowledge of it. The solution to all our suffering is to delve inside, without knowing what we will find, and to pay attention to whatever comes up. This requires faith, and it is possible. With practice, looking, thinking and feeling what is hidden inside of us actually becomes fun. But at first, we have to face the dark and jump.
Its like standing dry next to a pool filled with people playing and having fun, and the only thought that we have in mind is “I hope it won’t hurt”. Well, the apparent thought seems to be “I hope it won’t be too cold”, but the real underlying thought is about the fear of possible suffering. Eventually, you simply have to jump in to notice that the water is quite easy. Then you start having fun.
Then, how do we start looking and feeling inside?The technique is simple:
- Can you sit?
- Can you look?
- Can you breathe?
Sit on a chair or cross-legged on the floor, look at the floor by fixing a point, and pay attention to your breathing. Easy enough? Try 20 minutes in a row, and you’ll discover yourself a bit. Most people to who we suggested doing fixity could not bare more than 5 minutes at first. In time, you get the hang of it and you can stare in fixity for an hour.
During the practice of fixity, don’t use any mantra or visualization. Don’t have background music. Don’t stimulate your mind in any way. The goal is to bring the mind to a rest. Simply pay attention to a point on the floor, and to your natural breath.
When you first train at fixity, your mind throws out the trash. Your mind will be pulling out any kind of stuff to try to get you out of fixity. Your eyes will start to move around uncontrollably, and your breathing might become harder. This is normal. Your mind is used to continuous stimulation, so it simply obeys the law of inertia, trying to perpetuate its movement. Whenever this happens, simply keep fixing a point on the floor, and relax your breathing.
When you notice your mind starts to follow a single thought, nourishing a mental fantasy, come back to your non-thinking attitude, and keep being aware of the stuff that your mind is pulling out. Simply come back to the simple thought of contemplating your natural breath moving up and down, in and out. While you are aware that your mind is throwing thoughts like crazy, remain calm and at peace. The goal is eventually not to think anymore, but you have to accept that this is not the case at first. Try not to think, but don’t judge the thinking.
Before your mind stops, you will eventually go thru other stages of purification. Actually these are fun, and produce nice feelings inside your body. While doing simple fixity, contemplating your breathe naturally going up and down, your entire energy system is revitalizing. You might feel tingling sensations here and there. These are precursor to more impressive power surges from your nervous system, celebrating its new freedom.
Going further in any other explanation is useless, since it requires the experience of it to understand it.