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The Power of Frustration

What Everybody Should Know… About How to Deal With Frustrations

By Catherine Pratt
www.Life-With-Confidence.com

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www.Life-With-Confidence.com

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Disclaimer

Please be advised that the opinions expressed here are purely those of the author, Catherine Pratt. You read and act upon it at your own risk. It is not meant to provide psychological advice or to substitute for professional counsel in any way. No guarantee of any specific outcome is provided for using the ideas found within this ebook.

This ebook is by Catherine Pratt.
Articles first appeared on the www.Life-With-Confidence.com web site. Copyright © 2006 Catherine Pratt All Rights Reserved

The Power of Frustration

What Everybody Should Know… About How to Deal With Frustrations
By Catherine Pratt

Contents Frustrations A Powerful Resource? .................................................................................... 4

How Frustrations Can Be Valuable Tools .......................................................................... 5

Frustration - 8 Quick Ways To Turn It Around.................................................................. 7 The Game Of Opposites – How To Instantly Deal With Frustrations.............................. 10

Frustration Due To Fear Of Change - 6 Reasons Why We're So Afraid.......................... 13

Frustrated With Your Life? Want To Escape? How This Might Be An Opportunity To Get What You Really Want From Life............................................................................. 16

Anger Due To Frustration................................................................................................. 18 Forgiveness – How It Will Change Your Life.................................................................. 21

What To Do When You’re Frustrated Because Life Doesn’t Appear To Be Changing... 24

Work Frustrations - 5 Strategies To Change A Negative Work Environment ................. 26

Frustrated With Making Goals? Try A Life Direction Instead......................................... 29 Final Word ........................................................................................................................ 32

Okay To Distribute This Report?...................................................................................... 33

Frustrations a Powerful Resource?

Can your frustrations really be a powerful resource for you? At first glance, it doesn’t seem to make sense does it? Usually, you think of frustration as being something that causes you not to get what you want. It’s an obstacle for you and it’s something you usually don’t want to have happen to you. We always want things to be easy and “smooth sailing” for us. Sometimes we even think that if it’s easy then it’s a sign we’re on the right track and if things go wrong then that tells us we’re not going the right way. So, how could frustrations possibly be a good thing? As you will discover in this special ebook, frustration can actually be a valuable tool for achieving some of your greatest accomplishments. They can also provide deep insights into yourself which can allow you to suddenly break through previous self imposed limitations and barriers.

By the time you have finished reading this ebook, you will have learned how to use frustrations to your advantage. Imagine suddenly being excited whenever you run into a problem, knowing that you’ll be able to not only easily solve the issue but that you will gain valuable knowledge by doing so.

In this ebook, you will find several different ways, not just one super technique to discover what information you can gain from any frustration you may be experiencing and how to turn it into a positive event. Why so many different ways and not just one? Because every one is different and what works for me may not work for you. Just like some people would rather call someone on the phone, others would prefer to send an email. If you find a technique that feels comfortable for you then you’re far more likely to use it. For example, if I told you that every time you feel frustrated, you had to call someone and you hate using the phone, it’s unlikely you would use that technique. So, this way you can find one that matches your comfort and personality and easily incorporate it into your way of thinking.

Also, every situation is different, I will be providing a number of different situations and a solution for them. I have personally tried every one of the solutions offered. They’re all very simple to implement yet extremely effective.

If there is an underlying theme it is that problems and frustrations are really all in how you look at them. If you look for the positive in them then you will be able to solve the situation far faster than simply wallowing in the anger and wondering why these things always happen to you. It is the difference between being a victim and being victorious. If you think of frustration as a gift then you will be well on your way to using their power to improve your life and achieving your dreams.

As a bonus, at the end of this ebook, you will find a list of quotes. When you click on a quotation, you will be taken to a full sized version of the quote which you can print out for display purposes.

Your life can be transformed by using some of the simple tips, tricks and strategies you will discover in this special ebook. Ready to get started?

How Frustrations Can Be Valuable Tools

It was a long, tense boardroom meeting. The team from Finance wanted to scrap the whole project due to budget concerns while the Marketing group felt it would be worth the extra cost. Both sides raised valid points. In the end though, everyone was just frustrated. They had no idea how to move forward with this issue. It was beginning to look like the only answer was to ask a director to make the final decision. It was Suzanne from Marketing who suddenly made the brilliant comment of, “what is the end result we’re trying to achieve here?” And that is the answer to how to deal with frustrations. Let me explain.

Our initial reaction when hitting a setback or a "roadblock”, whether it be during an important project or even just trying to finish a task, is usually one of frustration or thoughts along the lines of:

• “Why does this always happen to me?”
• ”Why doesn’t anything ever work for me?”
• ”Well, I guess that’s the end of that idea. Back to the drawing board.”

It doesn’t have to be this way though. By simply changing how you view the situation you can dramatically alter the ending. So, how can those frustrating moments be valuable? Here’s how:

Frustrations can indicate that you need to take a step back You’ve heard of people not being able to see the trees for the forest, well you can get so caught up in wanting to accomplish a particular task that you forget the reason why you started in the first place. Stop and take a step back to look at the big picture. As Suzanne asked, “What is the end result you’re trying to achieve?” Take the time to re-affirm the original goal and see if you’re still on the right path. You may discover that you’ve somehow started down a road you never really intended to travel. It’s easy to get so caught up in dealing with the day to day issues that you don’t realize that you’re now way off course. Take the time to re-focus on exactly what it is that you want to accomplish and you may find that you’ve just saved yourself a lot of time, effort, and money on something you didn’t want to be involved with anyway.

Roadblocks can also be an excellent opportunity to brainstorm Sometimes when a plan is created, all of the potential options aren’t considered. You just immediately think of a solution and go for it. When you run into a frustration, it could be an excellent opportunity to brainstorm. You may discover far more efficient or cost effective opportunities available just by taking the time to do some research.

Here’s an example: say you decide to publish a “How To” book. You get it all set up and then find out that the printing costs are just too high. You could give up on the idea or

you could brainstorm.

During a brainstorming session, you could consider:
• could you create an ebook instead which would save the printed production costs?
• could you print and bind it yourself with the tools that are now available for just

this purpose?
• could you alter certain areas to make it cheaper (ie. use less colour photos, use
only 2 colours, etc.)?
• is there a technical college available which may be willing to do the work cheaper
as a learning tool for their students?
• would it be more effective as a web site?

The benefit of brainstorming is that you may discover a far better idea than the original plan. You may end up really glad that you didn’t go with the original direction. My web site, www.Life-With-Confidence.com is actually an example of how a roadblock for me ended up being a complete turning point to a much better destination (read the full story)

Problems can be a sign that you need a break
Your first reaction when running into a roadblock may be that you absolutely have to solve the issue no matter what. Just like whenever Superman saw some dastardly deed being done, he had to rush in to save the day. The problem with this is that you become focused on the feeling that the problem must be solved right now. It’s how people start to make huge mountains out of anthills. It can also cause you such stress that you just can’t come up with the answer. If you can take a break and come back to look at the situation from a fresh viewpoint, you may find that the issue wasn’t really as big of a deal as you initially thought. Also, after you’ve had a chance to re-charge your batteries and regain your enthusiasm, the roadblocks may just disappear on their own with a solution suddenly seeming so very obvious. You just couldn’t see it before because you were only concentrating on solving an issue that felt huge at the time when it really wasn’t.

Tools for Success

If you can think of your frustrations as opportunities then you will be far ahead of those that simply give up whenever problems occur. Think of roadblocks as “silver linings” for your goals and you’ll be amazed at what solutions suddenly appear. Your confidence to achieve your ultimate desires will increase as you now know you have incredible power. Your goals may suddenly become much closer than you thought and be even greater achievements and all because you knew frustrations are really valuable tools. You just needed to know how to use them.

Frustration - 8 Quick Ways to Turn It Around

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. - Winston Churchill

The emotion you’re feeling is “Frustration”. With a capital “F”. Maybe even add in some anger because you’ve been working really hard towards your goal or on a project and it just isn’t working. Or you feel like you’re stuck in a dead-end job and can’t find another one. And you may not even really know why. All you know is that you seem to be stuck and no matter how hard you try, you don’t seem to get anywhere. You’re just spinning your wheels in the mud and all you feel is pure frustration. Sound familiar?

This is the point where a lot of people will just say, “I Quit” and give up. Before you do though, here’s 8 ways you can blast through any frustration:

1. Ask Yourself, “What Is Working in This Situation?”
Even if it feels like nothing is working, look closely and you will probably find at least something that is going right. So, that’s good. You’ve found something that’s working. Now, how do you improve it? By asking this question, you’ve taken yourself out of the negative mindset of “it’s hopeless” and are back to focusing on the positive. There is something that’s working and that will give you a clue of what direction to focus on. You may find that even if your previous issues come up you’ll be able to resolve them in the process of concentrating on your improvements.

2. Keep an Accomplishments Log
Write down everything you accomplish in a log. If you do it in a monthly format you will be able to see all that you have accomplished in just one month. You may be surprised by how much you have done. If you realize there’s not much on the list, it may open your eyes to the fact that you may be procrastinating more than working or that you are using too much of your energy going in too many directions and that you need to focus more. Hopefully, you will have lots of items on your list then you can see that even though it may not feel like it, you are moving forwards. The log will also help to highlight where you were the most effective and where you need to work harder.

3. Focus On What You Want to Happen
Go back to the big picture. What is the desired outcome? Sometimes, we get so wrapped up in one problem and trying to solve it that we forget what we were originally trying to accomplish. Try not to ask yourself, “Why did this happen?” Asking questions like that will keep you rooted in the past. It doesn’t offer a solution to the problem. The important thing is knowing the answer to the following two questions:
- What do you want to happen differently this time?”
- What do you need to do in order to get there?

4. Remove the “Noise” and Simplify
When you’re trying to solve a problem, you can get so wrapped up in trying to find a solution that you add unnecessary clutter, noise, and tasks to a project because you thought they “might” be a solution.

Working on my website, I get bombarded by offer after offer of “easy ways to run your website”, “get more traffic”, “make more money” etc. They’re just noise though and usually a waste of my time even reading them. These people are just trying to make money off of me. They have no interest in whether I succeed or not. When people are frustrated by how slow the hard work process is taking, they get tempted by these “here’s what you’ve been missing” and “I’ll make it easy for you” offers. Usually, it ends up that if you do get tempted by the offers you discover 6 months down the road that if you had just stuck with your first plan and just kept working at it, you’d be a lot further ahead by now. Not to mention richer from not having spent money on the Get Rich Quick schemes. Believe in yourself. Simplify and go back to the basics. Determine what is really necessary and remove everything else. Anything that takes your time and effort that isn’t adding value, should be eliminated.

5. Multiple Solutions
You always have options. You just need to brainstorm and figure them out. Tell yourself you need to come up with 8 possible options to solve the problem. Just knowing that you have lots of options will help to make you feel better. You won’t feel like you are trapped in one negative situation. From your list, figure out the best direction and go for it.

6. Take Action
When you get into serious frustration with a problem, you tend not to want to work on it anymore. It’s hard, it’s frustrating, and you’re not getting anywhere. So, anything to avoid having to be in that situation may be far more attractive. Procrastination may start to set in. If you can keep taking steps forwards, you will probably make it past this temporary hump. As Thomas Edison said, “Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up” and “Surprises and reverses can serve as an incentive for great accomplishment.”

The other thing that can happen is that you start to spend a lot of time worrying. Worrying is a definite waste of energy and does not move you in a forwards direction. Only taking action will. Once you start moving forwards again, you will most likely find that you worried for no reason.

7. Visualize a Positive Outcome to the Situation
A lot of times you can get stuck on focusing on what you don’t want to happen or fearing the absolute worst thing that could happen. The top athletes of the world will imagine themselves competing flawlessly over and over again. There is no room for failure in their minds. This is what you need to focus on as well. See yourself achieving your desired outcome. What will it look like? What will it feel like? What will you say? How will you feel? Take the time to visualize it and really feel it. It will inspire you to keep moving forwards.

8. Stay Positive
Things are usually not as bad as they first appear. Sometimes, things seem much worse simply because we’re tired or mentally drained. Taking a break and remembering to keep your sense of humour can also help. This time of frustration will pass. A positive mind is far more open to solutions and answers than a negative one that thinks it’s just “hopeless” and thinks “what’s the use?” A closed mind will not be able to see the possible solutions when they do come along. Stay positive.

As with any problem, the solution is to figure out what your options are, decide on a plan, focus, and then take action. By using the above 8 steps, you should find that you’re running into fewer problems and feeling less frustration. Instead, you may find that you’re running into opportunities and you know exactly how to take advantage of them.

The Game of Opposites – How to Instantly Deal With Frustrations

“ I hate my job. You’re so lucky you’re not there anymore.”
I was having lunch with my friend last week who is also a former co-worker when she suddenly blurted this out.

“Wow, it’s that bad now? Well, let’s play the Game of Opposites then,” I said pulling out a piece of paper.

“I’m trying to deal with a frustration here,” she replied. My friend is actually quite used to me so I think she knew to bear with me while I explained about the Game of Opposites to her.

“You know about the Law of Attraction,” I said. “You get what you put your energy and focus on, whether wanted or unwanted. Well, there is also the Law of Opposites that’s taking place and until you figure it out you will probably stay stuck where you are and you won’t be able to get past the frustration. If you have resistance to certain things in your life, it can make it difficult to get what you really do want and it can even prevent you from moving towards those desires."

I made two columns on the paper like this.

What I Don’t Like I’m Grateful Because

Now, first let me tell you about the Law of Opposites. Here’s a quote from Wes Hopper’s book called “The Astonishing Power of Gratitude” that I think explains it really well,

"Every situation that looks bad has an equal amount of good, if you look for it. Everything that happens just "is". Like two sides of a coin, it has a side that looks 'bad' and it has a side that looks 'good'. You get to choose. Whatever you call it, it becomes for you.

So, in any situation you need to:

“Remind yourself that the universe is friendly to you. There is a virtually infinite supply of everything you need. There is always enough money, customers, time, love, friends, etc so that no situation can leave you without those things for long. You do not absolutely need 'that one', you can move on to the next.

Next, you remind yourself that you get to decide what to call the situation - good or bad. You know the good is there (and, yes, I know, it is sometimes hard to see when you're in the thick of it), but you do know it's there."

In his book, Wes goes on to remind us that it's usually the absolute worst experiences that we go through that eventually end up bringing us the greatest gifts. They teach us valuable lessons and in the end turn out to be really good things. It may take awhile to find the good or the silver lining to the event but it's usually there. You just have to turn it around. You just need to play the Game of Opposites so, back to my diagram.

“You hate your job,” I wrote down in the first column. “This can be either good or bad. You get to decide. So, let’s say you choose to see the good in it. What can you come up with?”

“Well, it pays my rent,” She admitted.

“Good,” I said writing that down in the second column. “What else?”

“I’m gaining skills that I could use in a new job.”

“Perfect,” I replied. “Keep going.”

“I now have a better idea of what I do want in a job. Like being flexible in my hours.”

"Awesome. And, don’t forget that if you really liked your job you wouldn’t be motivated to find something else where you’re more challenged and learning more. More along the lines of what you really want to do.”

“You’re right,” she said. “I would just stay because it’s comfortable. This is totally encouraging me to find something new.”

We continued brainstorming all the good things about her job until we’d managed to think of about 10 things to add to the list.

Before we had gone through this exercise, my friend had been focused simply on the fact that she hated her job and thought she’d be stuck where she was forever. But, by turning it around, she can see that yes, she’s not satisfied with what she currently has but that’s actually a good thing. It’s at that moment when you’re trying to deal with a frustration that you learn that there is something that you need to improve and then you start to push yourself to grow and become even better. It causes us to learn more about ourselves and gain new insights into the world around us. You know you have the ability to do better

and you will. You just need to figure out how and then take action. But, you can only do that when you’re grateful for the situation that brought you to the initial starting point. It changes your whole focus to one of being positive and this opens your mind to new opportunities.

Try it. See what a difference it makes. Write down everything in your life right now that is annoying you or frustrating you or that you don’t like and then play the Game of Opposites. You will most likely find that you are suddenly able to move past those annoyances that were driving you so insane before and actually start using them as stepping stones to achieving what you really do desire.

The Two Steps

• Write down what is annoying or frustrating you
• Write down what is good about the situation and why you are grateful for the situation.

Frustration Due to Fear of Change - 6 Reasons Why We're So Afraid

The key to change… – is to let go of fear - Rosanne Cash

All of us want to believe that we are the masters of our own destiny but sometimes the thought of making a life change is so intimidating that you end up doing nothing or settling for less than you deserve simply because you are so afraid of change. It’s very frustrating because you know you can do better. Here’s the 6 main reasons we end up paralyzed with fear and what we can do about them:

1. Fear of the Unknown
We’ve all heard of the old proverb, “the Devil you know is better than the one you don’t”. It’s this fear of the unknown which can cause people not to take chances and to stay in situations where they’re not very happy. As soon as people think about change they start playing the “what if?” game.
• What if I make a mistake?
• What if it’s worse than what I have now?
• What if I fail?

We then tell ourselves the “grass is greener” and bury any thoughts of changing our situations for the better. We think we should stay where we are, just in case. We don’t have crystal balls so we can’t tell for sure what the consequences of our actions will be. We do know what we have now and we tell ourselves that if we think about it, it’s really not that bad. Right? The fear of the unknown is what stops most people from ever making positive changes in their lives.

If we let them, our imaginations can dream up a never ending supply of terrible things that could happen. But let’s think about it. We have the ability to imagine the absolute worst thing that could happen so that means we also have the skill to use our energy to imagine the absolute best thing that could happen to us. It’s a matter of focus. Why do you waste so much time imagining the worst when there’s just as much of a chance of the best outcome happening? In Susan Jeffers book,