2.1. Everything that has caused suffering has been constructed with lies. This is not yet believed, which is why you have not been entirely freed of your problems.
You live in a web of lies. First, there are the lies others tell you. The world is filled with people who believe dishonesty works. Parents withhold the truth from their children. Schools mislead us about how life is. Companies twist the truth in advertisements to sell more products. Politicians say whatever it takes to gain access to power. Romantic partners often lie to your face only so that you like them more.
These days, everyone lies all the time. Sometimes they know they are lying, other times they believe the lies. But each time you believe their lies, you are creating confusion for yourself by sacrificing the truth for an illusion.
Building a life upon a foundation of illusion ultimately leads to suffering and crisis. This always requires dishonesty, which is always an error. Error always requires correction. If it didn’t require correction, it wouldn’t be an error. Cling to any error, and the natural process of correction is experienced as suffering. If ongoing suffering doesn’t inspire you to correct course, crisis ultimately will.
There is nothing you can do to make illusion real. Reality cannot be different from how it is. The struggle to make illusion real only brings you endless sacrifice, great effort, ongoing challenges, a lot of frustration and misery—and it will never succeed. Dishonesty and avoidance of truth is not the path toward happiness.
2.2. Your need to believe the lies told to you by others causes you to tell lies to yourself.
You want to be normal, to fit in. You want to believe authority and to trust the people who you love. So, you’ve learned to convince yourself that, if you respect them and follow their lessons, then their picture of life will become real and the rewards they promise will materialize.
Everyone in this world believes in things that no one has proven to be true. But, because everyone seems to believe it, you believe it and you make choices in life accordingly.
The moment you believe someone else’s dishonesty and attempt to make it real in your life, you have become indoctrinated and controlled by them. You are no longer free and no longer see reality as it is.
You think everything will be fine because you are just doing what is normal. However, the deeper you get and the further you go down this path of error, the larger and more painful your crisis will be in the end. Once again, nothing you can do will ever make illusion real, and nothing unreal can ever bring lasting peace or happiness.
2.3. There are also the lies you knowingly tell others, which seem to offer a solution to a problem or a way to get what you want without hurting their feelings with too much honesty. The problem is that you almost never say exactly what you mean. You so rarely confess how you really feel. You are almost never open about what really excites you, what really bores you, and what you really want or would do if you were totally free. Now consider the fact that nobody is telling you what they mean either. This has caused a detachment from reality.
You think that, by filtering what you do and say so that it is socially acceptable, you are gaining relationships and your life is going more smoothly. But by limiting your telling of the truth, you are limiting the life you were meant to live and teaching dishonesty to all.
2.4. You are hired for a job to play a fake role and to tell the company’s lies. Then, you may come home to a relationship or family situation where telling the truth is not entirely tolerated either. If that isn’t bad enough, friends lie to you all the time about their own lives on social media or in person. During an average day, exactly when and where do you feel free to tell your unfiltered truths?
Because of all the dishonesty, you are suffering. You are sacrificing everything you want. You feel empty inside, you feel cut off and isolated, depressed at times, and for what? What is all this sacrifice of truth for? To teach everyone an untrue version of reality? To teach them the path of misery and crisis? Is this helpful, in any way, to anyone?
Each time you withhold perfect honesty from yourself and others, you are making a tragic error. All lies end either in apology or crisis because all errors will be corrected. Would you not trade the little bit of discomfort in telling an uncomfortable truth now for the crisis that will eventually result from withholding it?
You think it would be impossible to be perfectly honest all the time. Honesty is entirely possible and there is no easier or better way to live. The way isn’t very hard, but it is very different.
2.5. You have been taught that you need to withhold honesty to get love. When you were a small child, you often hid the truth from your parents because you feared their punishments and because you wanted their love. In school, you played a dishonest role imposed upon you by authority because you wanted to be accepted and approved of by your parents and teachers.
All the rules, the usual threats and routine attacks—the punishments and rewards that you have endured through your youth—have taught you the lesson that you need to withhold honesty from a romantic partner to get his or her love. This is a serious error that is likely making the true experience of perfect love impossible for you.
Love is impossible without perfect honesty. Anything against perfect honesty is against love. Think of a time when you fell madly in love with someone. Now try to remember the circumstances of that moment or situation. Were you not both entirely free together? Were you not completely open about who you really are and how you really felt? To simply do this with someone who you are attracted to is the experience of love you are craving.
When you are in love, your energy level goes through the roof. You don’t need to eat or sleep, you can live only from that amazing feeling of love. What most people don’t know is that the feeling of love is what happens whenever you are open. Open your mind and heart completely to experience the natural energy—the force of life—that comes from within.
The wonderful feeling of love—the ultimate experience of being alive—wasn’t something given to you by the person you were in love with; rather, it was a feeling that happened inside you because you were wide open to another being. You were perfectly honest, open, and accepting of yourself and the other. You felt how someone really gets you. You felt understood. Well, yes, you were understood because you were honest and open. And it was bliss.
Then what did you two do next? You may have wanted to hold-on to that amazing feeling. You wanted it to last forever. Because you thought that the amazing feeling was something you got from him or her, you tried to make sure that no other person would come along and interfere with it.
So, you started to make promises, you developed a set of expectations, and eventually you made rules for each other. At first, this felt good because you believed that you were creating the conditions required for your perfect love to last. You wanted to prevent anything or anyone from threatening your love.
What you did not know is that this is closing; which is how you ruin the experience of love. Along with the promises, the expectations, and the rules eventually came the decision to lie about something. By putting a limit on what truth is acceptable or not, you made it impossible for each other to remain perfectly open.
Whenever you are not perfectly open and honest, that amazing feeling of love starts to fade. You probably never thought to blame the promises and rules for this; no, you probably blamed the other just as he or she blamed you. Maybe you convinced yourself that love always fades in time, that it is impossible to live in that state of perfect bliss so easily experienced at the beginning of a relationship. This isn’t true. Relationships without rules are filled with a bliss that can continue if the perfect honestly continues.
2.6. If you want perfect honesty, you will need to learn unconditional acceptance. If you place any limits on truth, you will not have it. Of course, no matter which path you choose (rules or acceptance), the truth will remain true regardless. Seen in this light, the choice for acceptance is quite clear.
Truth cannot be changed by your attempts to deny it or desire to change it. If there are rules or taboos—and particularly if there are threats of punishment along with it—truth has been forced into hiding and dishonesty is likely to emerge in any relationship.
Agreeing to any rule is, in effect, agreeing that you might eventually have to lie. Setting a rule or making anything taboo is asking the other person to lie. Do you value knowing or not knowing? If you value knowing, then don’t make knowing impossible by setting limits on truth.
In all areas of life, it is the lack of both honesty and unconditional acceptance that causes suffering. You cannot claim to value truth and not choose unconditional acceptance—which is simply a decision for truth everywhere.
Lies will suffocate any relationship; causing mistrust, resentment, distance and loneliness. Being limited by someone else’s demands—because you are afraid of what might happen, or because you want to protect someone else’s feelings—also feels lousy and is completely unnecessary. There’s nothing wrong with you and, therefore, there is nothing wrong with telling your truth and living it.
2.7. Everything you have done in your life was probably done because you ultimately wanted to feel good. You have missed this mark at times because you have made just one error: you have believed that there is some value in dishonesty.
What is enjoyable about love other than sharing perfect truth together? What is peace but the experience of resting in honesty? What is bliss but doing what you want to openly? What is safety and security but a life that cannot be destroyed by any revelation of truth? What is abundance but the ability to express everything, to share everything, to do everything and have everything freely and openly?
You can feel good all the time and you can have it all, but only after a total commitment to perfect honesty all the time. To the degree you allow dishonesty in your life, you allow unnecessary challenges and suffering in your life. The suffering is at first immediate in that mild sinking feeling, the lower energy that invariably follows any withdrawal from life.
Whenever you are less than free, the low energy remains even as there are occasional good times—times when the complex web of lies seems forgotten and you can enjoy yourself. But dishonesty takes constant effort to be maintained, so you are always being put back to work maintaining the web of illusions you have created.
The decision for dishonesty once often becomes a decision for dishonesty always. You can never stop working to make it convincing or there will come an immediate crisis.
Eventually, the truth always emerges; and you find yourself in a crisis that you have created. Your decision for dishonesty was well-intentioned, but the result is always failure. Error can only lead to failure, or it wouldn’t be error .
In failure, those brief moments enjoyed with the person hardly matter. What once seemed so real, what you worked to hold onto, is gone forever. It is as though none of it was ever real at all.
It is true that it never was real. It was built and maintained with illusion.
2.8. In the world today, nobody really believes in the power of honesty. A lot of people talk about it though. Many threats and rules are created by the people in your life who force you to tell the truth. They demand honesty. They require it. But what would they do if you gave them what they demanded?
The person demanding honesty from you doesn’t want your honesty; he or she wants to control you. The demand for honesty is always based around an assumed right answer. The demand for honesty is, therefore, a demand for you to tell the truth in such a way that your answer is the right answer.
Of course, the demander of honesty hopes that your answer is true; but will never know because of the way the request for honesty was framed. You are made to feel as though you had no choice but to provide the correct answer rather than the truthful answer, and so you withheld perfect honesty.
Sometimes there may appear to be very good reasons why you want to hold onto a person you love or situation you enjoy. Attempt to hold on by withholding honesty and forfeit your freedom. Now you are no longer entirely free to live your truth. Now there is a crack in the relationship, and it becomes a cause of suffering on some level.
Sooner or later, this kind of relationship becomes a chore. Because you have chosen dishonesty, the laws of nature always ensure that the outcome of dishonesty is certain: ongoing suffering that ultimately ends in crisis.
2.9. If you want happiness rather than suffering and crisis, the only way to respond to a person who is demanding honesty is to give it. Offer total, deep honesty in a way that is loving and sensitive. Now accept the outcome; whatever it may be. Do not retreat from honesty, but by this is meant loving honesty. Honesty can only be loving because only love is true.
When you first begin to surrender your life to honesty, however, you will probably need to start by confessing truths which are not loving. This is what is meant by apology or confession: sharing a truth that is not loving. If your truths were loving, there would be nothing to apologize for or to confess; only to joyfully share. But, as of now, not all your truths are joyful because not all your deeds have been loving. You have probably made many errors—all stemming from your belief that there was some value or power in dishonesty.
Now your reality is this: there is no way toward purification, toward peace, toward joy, toward happiness, toward awakening, toward everything you want if you are not willing to flip the switch by revealing the significant truths you have kept hidden.
The world is sick from the darkness of dishonesty. The only cure for dishonesty is the revealing of truth. To apologize is to substitute the truth for the lies. Never apologize for the way you make someone feel—only apologize for your dishonesty and do so by telling the truth.
Before you can apologize, you must first give up control over the outcome. If you are still trying to shape or control the outcome, then you still believe in dishonesty. Your apology—your revealing of truth—may not be forgiven.
To accept an apology and to forgive is to accept the correction of error in another. In most cases, your errors will not be forgiven because most of the people you are apologizing to are not healed. They don’t want to heal, and they certainly don’t want you to heal; they want you to remain in suffering with them.
Unfortunately, because they still believe in dishonesty and you know truth , there is a good chance that your revelation of truth can break a relationship or change a situation. A person who has built a life around sacrifice, dishonesty, and total commitment to making illusion real will feel threatened by a person who commits to truth.
Your simple apology—the obvious and right decision to say what is true and to correct the error of dishonesty—will lead to chaos and destruction for one simple reason: you are destroying something. You are destroying the error of illusion—the foundation upon which this entire world of suffering was built. To speak your honest words is a very powerful and dramatic act.
You cannot control the process or outcome; but learning to enjoy the wild ride toward truth is a necessary step in your awakening. This is a relatively short step that every awakened person must go through. There is no path to heaven unless you are willing to take this ride; and it is a ride you cannot design or control. But you are safe. When the wild ride comes to an end, the outcome of truth can only be heaven.
2.10. The person or situation that once demanded your honesty, ironically, really demands that you continue to believe that there is some value in withholding it. However, because you know how reality works, your only hope of salvaging the relationship or situation is to bring the other along with you in truth.
If he or she loves you, if you are valued as you wish to be, then this will be effortless. But if there is no love, if you are being exploited or deceived on some level, then the situation will deteriorate. What is real about the situation or relationship will be revealed, and this is the time for your practice of acceptance.
You don’t know what telling the truth will do to your life situation; but you can be certain that the outcome is what you do want because it is the only outcome that is real.
2.11. The thought system of perfect honesty offers complete knowledge because it is the mandatory step that begins to reveal the whole truth about life. By choosing perfect honesty, you are also called upon to choose unconditional acceptance so that others in your life are free to practice their perfect honesty as well. You want truth not just for yourself, but everywhere in your life and from everyone. Judgment keeps you weak, while acceptance channels the power of truth.
Because information and situations will be revealed to you that are not easy to deal with, through honesty you will become stronger and better at letting go of judgment. This happens as you begin to see that there is no good news or bad news, only truth or lies. The thought system of error and confusion would have you judge between good and bad; while the thought system of truth would have you distinguish only between that which is true and false.
There are times, however, when brutal honesty causes unnecessary conflict. The level of crisis can be minimized when, along with the thought system of perfect honesty, you also come to know the thought system of perfect love.
In perfect love, you will learn that to give is to receive. You will come to fully understand that past and future is an illusion. You will come to know what some have called God but is, in truth, beyond words and in a dimension beyond perception. You will no longer attack. You will no longer need to defend yourself against attack because you are already safe. You will let go of all fear. You will come to know this all when you are perfectly honest and; therefore, purified and ready for the truth.
2.13. Throughout the centuries, the great prophets and sages have told us about these same spiritual truths using so many different stories, concepts and languages. Most of them have perhaps missed the simple lesson: that total surrender to honesty is the only step required for total salvation. Is this a difficult lesson? The world would have you believe that it is.
You have learned the false lesson that there is no truth, only shades of gray. You may think there are different kinds of truth—that there is universal truth, plain truth, and perhaps ugly truth. Some truths are considered good, appropriate, or acceptable; while others are meant to be hidden in shame. You may believe that you have your truths and I have mine; or that you would have to convince everyone of your truth for it to be considered true at all. So you remain stuck in the mental game of argument and debate.
Truth can only be honesty. There are no orders of reality to honesty. There are no levels or different types. The truth about an error is no less truthful than the truth of love. Therefore, there is no need to judge or sort out the significance or importance of various truths. The truth about your life, your feelings, your desires, your needs, your experiences, or your fantasies are no less important than the truths spoken by the Buddha, Lao Tzu or Jesus Christ.
All honesty is truth and can be honored equally. The philosophy of truth is simple: if you are telling the truth and you want only truth, then you are on the right path. You are allowing reality to reveal itself to you as it is.
Nobody can judge your path. There is nothing to argue or debate. There is no superior form of honesty; only honesty or dishonesty. You don’t need to discover the ultimate secrets of the universe right now, though you probably will. For now, you only need to be honest. So how do you choose honesty? By being honest always.
If you are choosing honesty and want the truth with conviction, that means you want only honesty in your life. You instantly recognize all lies as unreal and ignore them. You don’t fight against dishonesty or corruption, you don’t attempt to correct people by attacking or shaming them, and you certainly don’t demand honesty from anyone.
The choice for honesty is entirely a personal one. It isn’t right to demand from someone what is a personal choice. If you can’t demand it or require it, how do you get others to be honest with you? By offering unconditional acceptance.