Chapter 4 – Motivation Key #3:
Surround Yourself with the Right People
“Surround yourself with the right people, and realize your own worth.” - Lucy Hale
“Who you spend time with is who you become! Change your life by consciously choosing to surround yourself with people with higher standards!” - Tony Robbins
“Surround yourself with people who see the greatness within you.” – Unknown
Parents often spend an exorbitant amount of time warning their children about bad associates. I was no exception. To this day I can remember how my parents lectured me about the friends I kept, forbid me to visit the homes of certain individuals and carefully monitored my whereabouts. Being the rebel I was, I often thought this as overly restrictive and a huge inconvenience. Now, having grown up to see the life that some of these individuals now lead, I am truly grateful for their insight and guidance. But, we are all adults here and are free to do as we please. You might even reason that you are your own person and make your own decisions. But I strongly encourage you to consider your associates wisely for the following reasons:
How Your Associates Influence the Way You Think
Everyone and I mean everyone you regularly associate with will have some influence on your life. This is true whether you are conscious of it or not. As humans, we are constantly trying to make sense of this topsy-turvy world by carefully examining the people around us. In fact, some scientists have been bold enough to put forward the theory that we are basically the average of the five people we most regularly associate with.
The question now is, who do you want to be? If you choose to associate with people who are content with doing just the basics of life to get by, this notion can easily seep into your mind and affect how intensely you work towards your goals. These people will make you question why you push yourself so hard and whether your goals are even achievable. I am sure you will not find this kind of thought motivating at all.
On the other, what about surrounding yourself with people who are constantly pushing themselves to do better? Think about it this way, if you wanted to grow flowers in your garden, would you fill your garden with poison, stop watering it and hide it away from sunlight? That would not produce the kind of results you are looking for. So why would you surround yourself with people who want to poison your mind so to speak? These may be well- meaning people who genuinely care about you, but they do not understand the fire that burns within you.
They have never been as determined to succeed as you are and will never, ever understand what motivates you to keep going. As a result, they hurl pessimistic remarks are your dreams and slowly change the way you feel about achieving your goals. In order to keep yourself motivated, you have to be confident that your goals are achievable and associates like these will slowly sow doubts in your mind.
Even if these individuals do not orally challenge your dreams, the way they live their life will do little to keep you motivated. Their way of life can either positively or negatively reinforce your desire to reach your goal. Constantly seeing them underachieve or procrastinate will dampen the flames that motivate you to keep going.
On the other hand, when your close friends are always trying to find new ways to be bigger and better, you too will begin to feel the desire to improve your current performance as well. When your close associates achieve their goals, your own goals will become that much more real to you. And the closer your goals are to your heart, the more motivated you will be to achieve them.
How Your Associates Influence the Way You are Viewed
The world of business that exists today is one that is very closely connected. Your achievements are very closely tied to the achievements of your partners. It is virtually impossible for your business to survive in a vacuum. Your reputation is thus one of your biggest assets.
Unfortunately, our reputation is not just a product of our own actions, but also the actions of our associates. If we chose to associate with people who are dishonest or low performers, we too might be viewed in a similar manner. It is only natural to assume that birds of a feather will flock together.
Your reputation is your brand and this is what will attract the investors and customers you will need to make your goals a reality. The wrong associates can permanently damage your good reputation. Associating with the wrong people may very well mean that a great opportunity could easily pass you by.
Believe me when I say, there is a lot of truth in the saying that it is very lonely at the top. Achieving your goals of being the first or the best in your field will be a lot more enjoyable when you are surrounded by people who are happy to see you succeed. Associates that refuse to push themselves to do better will easily become jealous of your success and do all they can to demotivate you. To make matters worse, it is usually the people that are dear to our hearts that often succeed is setting us up to fail. That is why I strongly encourage you to be cautious with the people you let share your dreams. Choose the kind of friends that will constantly push you to do better and stay motivated. Associating with the right people will also put you in a position to be at the right place at the right time. The next chapter will expound on how to use this to your advantage.