Why I chose to write this book
At the tender age of 11, desperate to form a bond with a higher power, I dedicated my life to Christ and became a born again Christian. By the age of 20, disillusioned by it all, I stopped identifying myself as a Christian, and began to explore other avenues of spiritual development.
In this book, I will share my personal experiences and journey with you en route to taking an objective, dispassionate look at religion and spirituality. I ll explore the contradictions inherent in the world s major religions, and then assess the alternatives, from philosophy to myth, from astral travel to sacred geometry.
As a child, I attended Sunday service, and (evening) Bible study three times a week. I used to read my Bible upon waking and just before bed at night. I looked to the heavens for my heart s desires, and prayed for my every need. As fasting is believed to bolster this plea to God, I would occasionally forego eating for days on end.
I have borne witness to involuntary ‘possessions : when a spirit – good or bad – takes control of a living soul s faculties. On most occasions, I believe, the person is unaware during and following the event. When a demon takes over an individual, it is said that it must be cast back into the depths of Hell, from where it came. That was the message given when one attempted to disrupt our prayer session one evening. Despite movies such as The Exorcist stating that such activities can only be performed by a priest, it was my brother-in-Christ to the left, slightly older in age and stronger in faith that dealt the blow. During the entire episode I was passive, dumbstruck.
I have witnessed many ‘speaking in tongues :
“When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. Suddenly, a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them.All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them. (Acts 2:1 – 4)
Indeed, I have attempted to do so many times. Moved by the occasion and the spirit of those around me, I felt compelled to do as commanded.
I have been present when ‘miracles were being performed. One evening, a group of highly-revered Christian ‘leaders attended our service with the intention to, amongst other things, heal the sick. They told us that they had been sent by God to provide normal visual acuity (commonly referred to as ‘20/20 vision ) to those wearing glasses, enable those in wheelchairs to walk again, and cure a myriad of other illnesses. One by one, members of the congregation traipsed forward as hands were laid upon them.
As part of my development, I spent what little money I had on books, tapes, leaflets and the like. I spent many a day immersed in the material, keen to absorb as much as possible. I was fascinated by the stories of those who had acquired metaphysical powers as a result of their devotion, and once wanted to develop what is described as the spirit of discernment: a telepathic ability reserved for the enlightened, giving the ability to recognise what is of God.
Where were my parents during all of this? They were not around. Because had they been, I m sure they would have tempered my passions by encouraging me to find balance in playing football or studying. I attended boarding school in a country where religion means everything to the people. A country where people regularly quote from the scriptures to make trivial points about everyday life, engage in group prayer sessions often, and stand around in large groups arguing over the interpretation of Bible verses. In a country where people are revered for the ability to pray, to worship and quote scripture, I was in good company.
The unofficial title of Prayer Warrior is reserved for individuals who are known to invoke passion and energy, screaming at the top of their lungs whilst jumping around the room as they – sometimes, quite literally – cry to God to grant prayers. Prayer Warriors can energise and inspire those around them, much like a sales manager seeks to motivate his team each morning. Even before they begin to get into their groove, their presence is felt when they enter the room; many fall silent, sitting in awe of the spectacle that awaits. At some point during a typical prayer session, the announcement is made for the Prayer Warriors to please make their way to the front. An individual or group that requires important matters to be resolved ( special prayer ) are then asked to kneel on the floor as hands are laid upon them. Members of the congregation are also expected to be involved, but don t have the privilege of being called to the front: they must simply stand by their seats. In fundamentalist Christian circles, Prayer Warriors are well respected.
Unfortunately, I never spoke in ‘tongues
“Utterly amazed, they asked: “Aren t all these who are speaking Galileans? Then how is it that each of us hears them in our native language? Parthians, Medes and Elamites; residents of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya near Cyrene; visitors from Rome, (both Jews and converts to Judaism); Cretans and Arabs we hear them declaring the wonders of God in our own tongues! (Acts 2: 7 – 11)
According to the Bible, when the Holy Spirit causes someone to speak in ‘tongues , it must be a known language, for the benefit of those present. As evident from the above, the disciples declared the wonders of God to those present in their native language, which ordinarily they could not speak. All the ‘tongues I have ever heard were all completely unintelligible, and no one ever informed me that they understood what I had said.
The highly-revered Christian leaders who attended the service, to the best of my knowledge, didn t perform any miracles that evening. As I stood at the front of the Chapel watching people go forward, I was aghast at how many people declared that they had been healed. It s a miracle! they shouted as they threw their hands up. About an hour following the service, several admitted that they weren t able to see, and had to go back to retrieve their glasses. Apparently the person in the wheelchair required special prayer, a lot more than the time span of the service, so to the best of my knowledge she didn t walk that day. Following their departure, I recall an air of disdain from the regular attendees who had hoped to witness some modern-day miracles.
And though I stopped identifying myself as a Christian at the age of 20, my real passion for it begun to wane at about 14. During that 6 year period, as a form of ‘encouragement , my father would remind me of the following: One day, as I was lying on the couch, he happened to wander by and ask me what I was thinking of. My response: The rapture. I don t recall how he took it, but as he s repeated it often enough, I imagine he was rather taken aback. The term is used by fundamentalist Christians to signify the return of Jesus Christ, when all those who are deemed to be ‘worthy will be lifted up into the air to meet him. I must have been about 12 at the time.
I experienced a lot at a young age, perhaps much more than I should have. I played football later in life and despite exhibiting moments of sheer brilliance, it's possible that the lost time ensured I would never play professionally. Despite this, I d like to think that in many ways the distance from my parents played a large part in shaping my curiosity and the search for spiritual enlightenment that still drives me today.
As I grew older, my worldview expanded beyond the confines of boarding school and the country that influenced my development. Many things I held sacred not only diminished in value, but no longer seemed to matter. As this occurred, and as I matured, my values changed. Fortunately for me, my spiritual foundation was not built upon external factors, as I always relied on myself for research and development. If I m honest, I never felt fully comfortable within the confines of doctrine, as it ran contrary to my natural values. As I grew older and became more confident, not only did I begin to ask further questions, but other people s opinions also meant less to me.
Two decades on I am still keen to know what our purpose is or whether we even have one: Are we here as an adoring audience for a deity, or are we called to something higher? And at the other end of the spectrum: where is everything headed? Is there a final judgement and potential reward when we finally leave our Earthly existence or will our consciousness be snuffed out in an instant?
Thomas Jefferson said:
“Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear.
I believe it is incumbent upon us to ask questions and critically appraise the ‘truths we are told with respect to all matters. The acceptance of any dogma without examination is not just unhealthy, but dangerous. Unfortunately, such questioning is no longer encouraged, and we have been conditioned only to ask questions within a narrow bound. Anyone who goes too far beyond this is shunned for daring to step out of line. Nowhere is this more prevalent than in many mainstream and organised religions, which often prohibit and even ridicule open discussion on contentious matters. Why would God not welcome healthy debate?
Many of today s religions are filled with contradictions, inaccuracies and outright lies. Unfortunately, people seldom ask the important questions and are blinded by their soft exterior. It is true that there are many worthy ideals attached to religions, which is the reason they are cherished in society. However, there is a side that people never talk about. Do you know what your religion is hiding and what lurks in its doctrine?
Though the cause may be worthy, this does not excuse the fact that there are many more questionable issues attached to religion. Fortunately, there are just as many alternatives for spiritual development that you may not even have heard of. Spiritual knowledge (and development) isn't limited to religion, and if you want to gain a better understanding of it, you can learn a lot from many unusual sources. Despite being relegated to the fringe, many practices and arts were often highly revered in the past. Now is the time for these paths to be revisited.
The point isn't so much about where you look, but the very fact that you are looking. Even if spirituality is not your end goal, open up your mind to new ideas beyond the stale restrictions of religion and see where it takes you. Which questions are important to you and what answers have you found so far? Or perhaps you will simply develop more questions, and start a larger process of discovery for yourself. True goals are the ones you work towards, not the ones handed to you on a silver platter.
Why Femigod? I have no desire to start a new religion, nor do I wish to start any new age movement. It s not my desire to be worshipped, nor do I believe I am the reincarnation of an enlightened spiritual individual. My name is Femi and my simple contention is this: that all humans are powerful beings, much more powerful than we are led to believe. A god is a powerful being, and as I venture on my spiritual quest, I claim this for myself: I am god. We are all god.
For those who are unaware; the book is broken down into the same Book-Chapter-Verse format as religious scriptures. The large number at the beginning of each chapter mimics the beginning of a new Chapter in religious texts, whilst superscripted numbers indicate the beginning of each new ‘verse
The Gospel According to Pemigod will examine:
i. Book One: Understanding Mainstream and Organised Religion – a brief description of each of the main world religions is presented, explaining their key doctrine;
ii. Book Two: Questions and Contradictions – quoting directly from the scriptures, this section details the dominant themes inherent in religion. Many questions will be asked, and contradictions will be laid bare for all to see;
iii. Book Three: Philosophical Approaches – the focus is on the concept of God and spirituality from a philosophical perspective. The views of both contemporary and classical thinkers will be examined;
iv. Book Four: Classical Archetypes in Myth – we examine how myths and legends have played a part in setting the moral compass of societies; and
v. Book Five: Metaphysical Alternatives – this section introduces a wide array of esoteric, alternative and metaphysical tools that can help you develop your own spiritual path outside of religion.
He who has ears, let him hear.