The Complete Womans Manifesto

INTRODUCTION

Why you?

 

It is time to acknowledge the yearning to live in a conscious, vibrant and positive way.

This Manifesto is about leadership throughout the shift that is occurring in the world today. The paradigm of the past no longer serves humanity and it is time for people like you to see that you are leading the business world through your everyday choices, actions and reactions, both as a consumer and a business owner.

You have come to this moment because you know you are a leader with great contributions to make to this world.

Is your energy replenished by the mere thought of making an impact on humanity, one that will wake others from the base state of fulfilling those ego-driven desires and petty, empty wants that always fail to satiate the inner hunger, the gnawing sense of starvation they feel? Is it time to wake them up with the gentle nudges, pats, tickles and whispers that revive the sleeper in a way that allows her to greet the new day with a peaceful yet powerful sense of beginning and optimism?

The time has come for you to read and absorb this message. There is something here for you. It is my great blessing to be aligned with you through our common approach to business and its place in life.

Why me?

 

I have always believed that all people are able to realize their unique potential and are capable of achieving greatness on their own terms.

When each of us shows up as individuals who have harnessed the potential within, not only will our minds, bodies and spirits be powerful, but our children, our homes, our places of business, our nations and our planet will be healthy. We will live in peace and we will enjoy prosperity.

My role as a business coach is to contribute value and meaning by supporting individuals through positive transformation and sustainable change leading to their own achievement of personal greatness.

I wrote this Manifesto because I am on the same journey as you. Although our footprints may not ever be side by side, we are linked. You and I belong to the same tribe. My quest in life has been to learn, to seek, and to understand how to discover, uncover and then share the deepest knowledge within me.
Still, a jarring and painfully abrasive voice shouts through the inner ear of my soul, demanding to know who the hell I think I am to step forth and join the joy-makers of humanity. Its voice rattles with rage in its efforts to hold me down, restrain me and silence me from sharing my message.

Today I gather the courage to explore and articulate these thoughts with a sharing intention. This inspires me to write for you. I feel the thoughts that now surge through my mind with clarity. They stream down to my fingertips, as they dance on the keyboard to form words crafted into a coherent message. A message coming through me as well as the many, many others who share the Calling, I am sure.

I recognize the angry and scolding entity as it creates anxiety and nervousness within me. I call it by its name: Self-Doubt. For so many of us, that nasty gremlin sits on our shoulder and insists „you cannotdo it.

The gremlin is a liar.

My gremlin of Self-Doubt causes pain in my stomach, a headache, and seems to litter my chair with tacks or something equally discomforting, making it is hard for me to settle down. This is a powerful and demanding gremlin, so I have obeyed it and turned my attention to petty details that create busyness in my day, yet nothing of substance. This gremlin is the servant of the Ego, as Eckhart Tolle describes in A New Earth¹.

I absorb the drug offered by my ego, and call myself a „perfectionist. I go on to focus on insignificant details, or some other label that feeds the ego that keeps me small. I seek snacks, the need to return phone calls, to tidy the kitchen (followed by the rest of the house), run errands and generally focus on the list of Very Important Things, that as a Very Important Person, I must do.

By days end, I have produced nothing except evidence confirming that those feelings of Self-Doubt were reflections of reality all along. Yet they were just feelings, not the truth but the gremlin named Self-Doubt, the servant of my ego, claiming victory on yet another day.

I have realized on my quest that my experience is shared by many; and so, the paradigm is shifting because the collective is waking up to the truth that the ego is a liar. A better way is becoming clearer every day, not just to me, but to others who are communicating these thoughts, and to people who are reading these words, like you.

We are a tribe, and this Manifesto is for us. ¹ Tolle, Eckhart. A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose. Penguin Books, 2005.

PART ONE: THE ENVIRONMENT

Business in the shift

This Manifesto is about business and its place within the quantum² shift the world is currently experiencing. These words will resonate most in individuals who have the desire to be leaders not only in their profession, but also in the world at large.

The great paradox of my message is that it sounds very simple, yet it is highly complex and demanding.³ It will likely resonate far more with women, not because of an intentional act of exclusion on my part, but simply because I embody, embrace and cultivate strong feminine energy. I make no effort to mute or translate my message into anything other than what it is. It is my true authentic voice, if you will, and I am happy to share it with anyone who will listen. I would be delighted if this work influences men in the same way I believe it will resonate with women.

In the business sphere, there is an emerging acceptance of language that is inclusive of concepts that relate to love, light and life force energy, words formerly reserved for describing concepts such as “God”. Terms like God, The Universe, The Source, and The Divine are interchangeable to me and like-minded others.

I have always believed that business is an organic life form. The path and decisions you take regarding your business are extensions of you, your beliefs and the way in which you choose to live your life.

Clearly, a business will take after its owner, as a child takes after his or her parents. Your business and life choices will be reflections of each another. Do you work to honour and embody The Source, or to appease your ego?

As go I, so goes the World

This question is at the heart of the Complete Woman. She is a woman who is serene and content, and who knows her mind well. She is a woman who has made conscious choices based on a clear understanding of her values and vision, and who now commits to herself and to success on her own terms. This woman not only forgives herself for her own human shortcomings, but also allows for the innate imperfections of others, and embraces them.

The Complete Woman has set the intention to succeed in business by working consciously and enjoying the quality of a rich and rewarding life. While this is an individual roadmap, it likely includes love, kindness, health, wellness, balance, joy, prosperity and abundance, not only for herself and her loved ones, but also for everyone around her.

² Quantum is a term used in physics to describe the smallest quantity of energy that a system can possess according to quantum theory; also (loosely) a sudden, spectacular or vitally important force (The Collins English Dictionary, 9th Edition, 2007.)

The Complete Woman cares for her family, her community, and the planet. Her business thrives because she can link her work directly to the service of humanity and to global human experience.

We are all connected

It is an often-neglected truth that as we go about our day, each of us will affect humanity in some positive or negative way. No matter how insignificant you may consider your work, it is by no means that. The quality of your energy will make an impact on those around you.

Recall the analogy of the butterfly effect. A butterfly flutters its wings in Africa; half a world away, it causes a hurricane in Cuba. Your actions are equal to the fluttering wings of this butterfly.

You may never know the full extent of your contribution to an outcome, so you must be consciousof “fluttering your wings” for a positive outcome in every situation.

 

In order to do this, the Complete Woman must be clear on the causes for which she stands. She is able to stay true to her cause without harming anyone around her.

This latter point is critical, because there is an important difference between strongly espousing your beliefs and taking a clear stand, and turning your beliefs into weapons to inflict pain upon others. When you come from a place where your beliefs are turned outward, offensively, you create a situation I call the Toxic Dump.

Let me give you an example of this.

 

The Toxic Dump

My husband, children and I attended an autumn bonfire party not long ago. The hostess gathered us and other loved ones to enjoy the spectacular turning of the leaves that we call “the fall colors” in my part of the country.

She had obviously invested hours in creating a special day for her guests and we were all very happy to be there to share in this lovely time. The setting was exquisite with festive displays such as haystacks, carved pumpkins, and decorative gourds. The food was fresh, homemade and bountiful, beautifully laid out on the harvest table. Eventually the hostess noticed that one of her guests was not eating. She spoke to the guest, to make sure he was all right. In response to her enquiry, he stated“There are only plastic utensils and paper plates here. I refuse to use these things because they are bad for the environment.”

This comment , while clearly reflecting the guests deepest beliefs, was a most unwelcome toxic dump on our hostess. Everyone who heard it felt the recoil of nastiness, as though it were a physical assault. His words had hurt, insulted and embarrassed both our hostess, and through its ricochet, those of us who were using the cutlery and plates his words were denigrating.

It is true that items like these are generally considered damaging to the environment, and many people have made a conscious choice to avoid them. However, in supporting this cause by denigrating, insulting and embarrassing someone else, we neutralize and toxify the original positive intention of serving humanity. Using words and actions that hurt people creates emotional and spiritual pollution, a negative energy which is just as toxic to humanity as plastic and paper.

Imagine also the toxicity and acid build-up this guest s negative energy created in his own system as he judged the hostess for her choices, focused his attention on disapproving the choice of utensils, and went hungry instead of enjoying and appreciating the wonderful festivities, beautiful day or loving energy moving so freely among us.

When a good idea goes toxic

 

My friend Julie described another example of a toxic dump not long ago. It occurred as she was completing her studies as a nutritionist.

Julie was very devoted to eating well and building a family lifestyle based on her strong values around food choice. It was important to her that all foods that did not meet her criteria be banished from the house, and that all members of her family (her husband and 2 teenage daughters) embrace her values as strongly as she had.

It did not take long for Julie to realize that despite outwardly seeming to agree with her values, in fact, her family was secretly consuming junk food. She would find candy wrappers stuffed between the bed mattress and box spring. She would spot potato chip packaging and receipts from fast food outlets under the seats in the car. Her anger at their deception caused friction, and she often found herself ranting and raving at her daughters and husband over their sneakiness and lack of commitment to healthy eating.

Looking back on these events today, Julie is able to laugh. She can now see that her strong devotion to establishing healthy food choices literally drove her family underground, since they did not believe they could consistently live up to her high expectations and standards. Her strong values were creating a rift between herself and the members of her family, forcing them to sneak behind her back and lie to her.

Cleaning out the Dump

In time, Julie came to realize that her rigorous attitude was creating a toxic dump that neutralized the benefits of her healthy food choices. When this reality became clear, Julie realized that her views on nutrition were her own. She could not force her loved ones to embrace them in the same way that she had.

The scientific truth is that people are healthier when their internal systems are alkaline as opposed to acidic. A healthy, well-balanced diet will support alkalinity in the body, while junk food and other unhealthy choices create an acid environment. Stress causes the body to produce acid, just like junk food and other unhealthy choices do. Peace supports alkalinity.

Julie came to realize that the healthy meals she lovingly prepared for her family became neutralized by the stress and anxiety she was creating in forcing them to embrace her ideals. Although she was bringing healthy food into the home, Julie realized she was also bringing her own toxins, creating an unbearable and stressful environment, whose effect on her family was the same as if she had brought home a large bag of burgers and fries.

To defuse the stress and negativity, Julie used her knowledge of nutritional science to gain greater clarity around this issue. Instead of confrontation and toxic dumping of her issues onto her family, she elected to teach through setting an example of peaceful living, and choseto respect her familys boundaries on the issue of food choices.

The Complete Woman knows that the way to engage others is by embodying whatever positive example you wish to promote. Those around you will observe for themselves that you have created a quality of life that is desirable, one that they themselves crave. They will join hands with you naturally, without coercion, tantrums, lecturing or soapbox speeches.

We are responsible for cleaning out our own toxins before we can hope to clear out anyone elses issues. Otherwise, the result merely moves the toxins around, spreading them into an ever-deepening sludge.

The purpose is not to bully and shame others into doing things our way, but rather to illustrate through right action and thought that the old ways are now harmful and damaging, and seek a better path in harmony and understanding with those around us.

FINDING YOUR POWER

Choose greatness without judgment

The Complete Woman knows that before aspiring to greatness, she must first define the meaning of greatness for herself, on her own terms. She embodies her choices, but nevertheless is able to embrace those whose choices differ from hers.

The Complete Woman has no need to judge others for the place where they find themselves on their life paths. She does not look over her shoulder seeking the approval of others, and she certainly does not lower her gaze when she finds herself challenged by those who do not understand her or fail to show her respect. She keeps a steady and gentle gaze as she meets her adversarys eye, offers a silent nod of forgiveness, and then moves on without drama.

She has no need to engage in controversy or to hold the trophy of „being right high above her head for all to see. Her inner knowing and wisdom are sufficient for her to feel powerful. She is beyond being disturbed by a challenge, as she is actually grateful for the opportunity to renew her own inner faith. On issues of great personal importance, she is secure in her position, and does not argue, belittle or insult others when their opinions differ from hers.

I have experienced this personally, nearly 10 years ago, when I walked out of my very last „job. I had been there less than a year, having left a decent job that I enjoyed for this position, supposedly the„opportunity of a lifetime”.

Success on your own terms

I had joined this organization intending to make an outstanding contribution. I was also very excited about my new role as an executive because career-wise, it was everything I hoped for at that time.

I devoted myself to impressing my colleagues and in particular my boss, “David”, the companys president. When I landed a coveted key account for the company, I felt more empowered and successful than ever.

The next day, David called me into his office and made it very clear that my role in landing the account was insignificant, and I was underperforming as an employee.

I sat across the table from this man, someone I had admired so much a scant nine months earlier. I watched his lips move and heard these hurtful words emerge. This was the man who had promised me so much in terms of resources and support to enable me to perform, and failed to fulfill any of these promises. And yet, I had continued to plug along regardless.
As I tried to concentrate on his words, thoughts and questions raced through my mind:

How can he think that I played a minor role in this account when I was the only person in this company who worked on its acquisition?
Does he think that I’ve forgotten about the support and resources that he promised and never delivered?
Shouldn’t he be impressed at my performance and the results I’ve produced for his business?
Doesn’t he realize that I’m aware of how long this firm has tried unsuccessfully to land this account?

 

I did not voice any of these questions. Instead, I said,“It sounds to me like you want my resignation.”

 

His answer was unexpectedly harsh.He said “I would accept your resignation this instant.”

 

His words knocked the breath out of me. However, as the breath escaped, some common sense rushed in.

In that instant, I realized that all this man had ever wanted was that one account. Now that he had it, David no longer needed me. In that moment, it became crystal clear that when he hired me, David knew that I would bring my close relationship with that account with me. During our negotiations, he had told me everything I wanted to hear, promised me everything I asked. Just so his company could land that one account.

This last conversation showed me that those promises had been lies. I had been used and had not seen it coming. He had what he wanted, and now I had become disposable.

I looked him in the eye and said only,“If its my resignation that you want, then you have it. This conversation is over. Goodbye.” I walked out of his office, and out of my old life.

 

Tearing down to rebuild

I drove home feeling torn. On the one hand, I felt like an idiot for having believed David in the first place. I had fallen for his act, hook, line and sinker. I desperately wanted to see a leader with a vision, and so that is what I saw.
The second feeling was power. I felt more powerful than at any other time in my life because I did not bow or promise to try harder or do better. I felt powerful because I knew that I had produced excellent results. I realized that since my work with Davids company was not valued, I would no longer allow him or his company to benefit from my contribution.

When I got home, I called my client contact and explained that I would be unable to deliver the promised services. I told him that David was dissatisfied with my work and I was no longer employed by that company.

The next day, I received some startling news. I discovered from another source that the client account director had fired David, stating that since I was no longer in charge of the account, he was not interested in working withDavids firm.

Defining your power

This experience was a defining one in my life. During those moments that I sat in Davids office and listened to his criticisms, I was able to achieve clarity on some personal boundaries. I realized that I was not willing to sacrifice myself on the altar of my career.

On further reflection, I realized that David lacked any clear sign of empathy, understanding or any other defining leadership skills. This was not the first time I felt I needed to defend my work to him in order to protect my position, nor the first time he tried to wield ultimate power over my career destiny.

It was, however, the last.

 

The idea of achieving greatness on my own terms dawned on me in that first moment of freedom. I had found my power.

 

Position is not always power

In the same way as an entrepreneur, the Complete Woman is a leader who approaches her position with a profound sense of awareness of her tasks, responsibilities and colleagues. The title of Complete Woman is irrelevant to her sense of leadership. I want to highlight this point with care.

Whether she is a junior staffer without so much as a high school diploma, or a Corporate President with a PhD, the Complete Woman knows that she is there for a reason. She recognizes that in return for a paycheque, she must produce mindful, quality work. She offers everyone and everything around her the full benefit of respect, kindness andmaturity. She does not look at a colleagues title or income level before responding, but rather does so from a profound sense of empathy and consideration for everyone.

The cubicle– stay or go?

Of course, not every job is high-powered, and not every work day is replete with excitement and fascination. Work must be done which might be repetitive, unoriginal, perhaps even “boring” at times. And yet, the Complete Woman senses deeply that her purpose reaches beyond participation in the never-ending sequence of cubicle days, and all that its lifestyle might embody.

To use Pamela Slim s⁴ term, the„Cubicle Nation, may be the place where the Complete Woman spends her day. However, if she is there, she is at peace knowing that she is serving a purpose. The women who have chosen to stay in Cubicle Nation might be at any level within a company and performing any number of tasks; however, the Complete Woman who chooses to live in Cubicle Nation is present and mindful, bringing all the faculties of her emotional intelligence and skills to her work.

It may be that she has chosen Cubicle Nation in order to remain employed. Some do not fully rejoice in their work; this does not make them any less Complete, it merely means that they have mindfully chosen to do this work, to show up every day at their cubicle in order to achieve a means to an end of their own conscious choosing, which satisfies some aspect of their lives or current positions.

Although she may not love the tasks, this Complete Woman serves her role with honour, because she is honourable. She is aware of her power to influence the quality of her environment. She conducts herself accordingly because she is keenly aware of the Toxic Dump effect, and has no bitterness towards her position or her colleagues.

At times, a Complete Woman chooses to leave Cubicle Nation of her own accord. Sadly, she may have the choice thrust upon her, through layoffs or downsizing, as we have seen far too many times in the past two years. Those who opt out do so in recognition that they must not return to Cubicle Nation if they are to best serve humanity.

For these women, leaving Cubicle Nation is more than an escape from a negative environment. Rather, they are allowing themselves to be pulled towards a new way of life. They understand that the misdirected energy they were investing in their jobs must be refocused in a different direction. These women are the true entrepreneurs of our communities.

This Manifesto honours the satisfied women of Cubicle Nation, and does not wish to belittle or argue against either those who have chosen to stay, or those who have elected to leave.

⁴ Slim, Pamela. Escape from Cubicle Nation: From Corporate Prisoner to Thriving Entrepreneur. Berkley Trade, 2010.

 

The servant leaders

The Complete Woman who dwells in Cubicle Nation may have worked her way up the corporate ladder in order to attain a position of responsibility. This highly skilled leader is mindful of where she started and of the steps required to attain her lofty position, and thus wellaware of the power of „servant leadership and „leading from behind.

This method is well-known among modern, successful leaders and has replaced the „commandand control model of the narrowminded „bigboss who knows only how to wield a carrot in one fist and a stick in the other.

Servant leadership is a practice of leadership, first presented by Robert Greenleaf and then adopted by forward thinkers and visionaries in leadership and management, as well as writers such as Ken Blanchard and Stephen Covey. Servant leaders achieve results for their organizations by giving priority attention to the needs of their colleagues and those they serve.

Servant leaders are often respected for their humility and ability to see and serve the greater good. They do so with faith that each individual will be exponentially more successful on all levels including financial, physical, and spiritual– even she herself. The visionary servant leader knows that her impact extends far beyond her immediate grasp, and out into society at large.

Servant leaders are those who not only are able to recognize and speak to the magnificence in others, but to harness it as well. They nurture qualities of emotional intelligence in themselves, and coach others to develop them. These qualities include listening, empathy, healing, awareness, persuasion, conceptualization, foresight, stewardship, growth and community-building.

"As leaders shift their focus to customers and quality, they realize that the old authoritarian leadership style does not work anymore. To achieve quality, service, and rapid response, leaders must utilize all available talent. They must find ways to inspire, involve, and empower employees. They must create a work environment that encourages commitment, innovation, and cooperation. Instead of evaluating, leaders now coach. Instead of doing, they delegate. Instead of telling, they facilitate. No one is expected to boss anyone. Everyone is expected to participate."
~ Dr. Suzanne Willis Zoglio in The Participative Leader, pg. V.

Servant leadership is an ancient concept that is resurfacing. As is the case with many of our ascendant masters, there are passages that relate to this approach in the Tao Te Ching (attributed to Lao-Tzu, believed to have lived in China sometime between 570 B.C. and 490 B.C.):

When the Master governs, the people are hardly aware that he exists.
Next best is a leader who is loved.
Next, one who is feared.
The worst is one who is despised.
If you don’t trust the people, you make them untrustworthy.
The master doesn’t talk, he acts. When his work is done, the people say Amazing: we did it, all by ourselves.’⁵

⁵ Mitchell, Stephen. Tao Te Ching, A New English Version. Harper Collins, 2006. An interesting aspect of this translation is that Mitchell refers to the leader, master or Godheadas „she as often as he uses the male pronoun.

PART TWO: THE COMPLETE WOMAN

Who you are

The Complete Woman is who she is. She lives her life according to value-based priorities. I have found myself saddened when I hear a woman say,“I wear my hair very short so that I blend into the mans world of business.” The Complete Woman presents herself in any way she prefers because it is her choice, not because she needs to imitate others in order to gain their respect.

Another sad statement I have heard is “If you have a home office you must make sure your children never answer the phone because if they do, your credibility will tank.”

Anyone who deems a woman less credible for this kind of reason is a person who has no place in her world. We must work to identify this line of thinking and cease to accept it.

In support of women who work from home and have children in the house, let me share this story.

I once took a call from a man from whom I was awaiting news on business development. When I answered, he prefaced the call by saying, “I hope you dont mind the noise in the background. I am on holiday with my kids.” My reply was, “It works for me! My kids are home from school today so its noisy here too.” He lobbed right back with, “When you put your family first, thats just the way it goes sometimes