"I'm presenting to the shareholders meeting next week and I'm terrified of speaking to groups! Please help me!"
As a counselor and coach specializing in phobias and stress management, I often hear pleas like this one. For many people, public speaking anxiety is very real and very debilitating---posing a detriment to career advancement or to marketing your business.
One way to beat speaking anxiety is to join Toastmasters International. This non-profit organization, founded in 1924, offers a first-rate educational program for speaking and leading with confidence. Toastmasters has helped millions over their platform jitters. You can join the organization through a local club, where you'll find friendly people who have “been there.” Toastmasters International has 8700 clubs in over 70 countries. If you can't find a nearby club, Toastmasters International will help you start one in your community or corporation. For more information go to http://toastmasters.org.
Confidence alone doesn't make a good speaker. Polished speaking skills come from knowing your subject matter, organizing the material, and practicing your delivery. Toastmasters gives a supportive atmosphere where you can put these skills to work.
I work with my clients on the emotional end of things—overcoming fear and anxiety. Drawing on professional training in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and hypnotherapy, and my own experiences as a speaker and trainer, I use a combination of coaching, relaxation training, mental rehearsal, and guided imagery to help people replace fear with confidence and motivation. Obviously, I can't show you these methods in this article. However, I can give you some easy-to-follow stratagems that should make your next speech a bit easier. Here are ten ways to overcome your fear of public speaking.
1. Give up believing that you have to be perfect.People fear public speaking because of the embarrassment of making mistakes in front of others. Anxiety over mistakes only makes mistakes more likely. Having anxiety could be the biggest mistake of all! Even professional speakers occasionally make mistakes. The difference is that they don't consider mistakes major obstacles to success. The secret is to accept that mistakes are going to happen sometimes, and develop the ability to recover from them quickly. Dr. L. Michael Hall, author of Secrets of Personal Mastery, advises, “Give yourself permission to be gloriously fallible!” To recover from a mistake, observe it dispassionately, take whatever corrective action is appropriate, regain your composure, focus on what to say next, and get on with it. Dwelling on an error and feeling bad only adds to your confusion. Leave the mistake behind and move forward.
You can't please everyone in your audience. Sure—some listeners may think you are a moron for making a mistake. Some won't even notice it. Others may admire the way you recover so easily. Some may be relieved to know you are human. Some couldn't care less.
Mistakes provide excellent feedback for improvement. Mistakes often promote single-trial learning, so it's almost certain you'll never make the same mistake twice. Ask yourself “What is the worst that can happen if I make a mistake during this speech?” Mistakes do not carry a death sentence.
2. Visualize the outcome you intendPeople who fear public speaking visualize their upcoming speeches as abysmal failures. They see themselves fumbling clumsily with notes, stammering, turning red, possibly crying, horrifying audiences with their stupidity, and slinking away to live out the remainder of their miserable lives in exile, reviled as a social reject. Psychologists call this method of preparation “negative anticipation.”
STOP IT! Each time you engage in this mental flagellation, shake yourself out of it. Say “STOP” loudly to yourself. Get your mind out of the failure trap. Sing, whistle, recite poetry, walk around the block, or talk to a friend. You can even make those scary images seem silly and laughable, by imagining your audience in clown costumes, or visualizing past failures backward in fast motion.
In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, author Steven Covey tells his readers to “begin with the end in mind.” Visualize yourself giving that speech the way you intend to. If you anticipate success, you are more likely to get it. Mentally rehearse that you are speaking confidently with a smooth delivery to an appreciative audience. Hear the words coming out of your mouth in a flowing cadence. See yourself with an erect posture, breathing freely and easily. By visualizing this way, you are programming your mind and body for positive results.
3. Prepare PositivelyStop worrying about yourself and get excited about your subject! You have something to say and others want to hear it. If you can, pick a subject you enjoy. Speak on topics you know well. Even if you're delivering dreary statistics about last year's crop failure, put something lively into your speech. Include an anecdote, or a quotation. Bring in the human interest perspective. Practice and preparation are easier if your subject matter is meaningful and/or enjoyable to you. If you think your material is interesting, your audience will catch your enthusiasm and appreciate your sincerity.
4. Love your listenersOnce, just before I was about to speak to classroom of 70 students, a colleague asked me, “How can you be so confident will all those people judging you and finding fault with you?” Now there is a defeatist presupposition, if I ever heard one! It had never even occurred to me to think in that way! “I feel confident,” I answered, “because I assume my audiences are friendly. I assume they are here because they are interested in what I have to say. I love my audiences and I assume they love me.” You get back what you put out---and nowhere is this adage more true than in public speaking. If you want your audiences to like you, you have to like them first.
5. Put the past behind you---at least the ugly partsSome people have speaking anxiety because of a humiliating incident of the past---often in childhood. Such events can be highly traumatizing for children (and not a joyride for adults, either) and can cause life-long, paralyzing fear. If such an incident is the basis of your fear, visit a therapist or counselor who specializes in phobias. Phobias are nothing to be ashamed of. Researchers estimate that 80% of of us have at least one in a lifetime. Contrary to popular belief, many phobias can be cured, usually in three or four therapy sessions. Remember: All good speakers started out as not-so-good speakers. They improved because they resolved to do better the next time.
6. Get some rest and avoid hasslesPlan ahead and get a good night's sleep before your presentation. If you have trouble falling asleep, drink some warm milk (yes, it does work), and think pleasant, relaxing thoughts. It may help to listen to a relaxation tape or soft music, or do some light reading before going to sleep. If you can, clear your calendar of stressful events that could interfere with your ability to concentrate and speak confidently and sincerely. In other words, don't schedule a job interview, a dentist visit, or a meeting with your ex-spouse's lawyer on the same day you are going to deliver that all-important speech!
7. Avoid mood-altering substancesSome people mistakenly think that drinking lots of coffee or alcohol, smoking cigarettes or popping a tranquilizer before speaking will improve their delivery. They do it to pep up or calm down. Mood-altering substances are an emotional crutch you don't need. The problem is that you can't regulate the dosage. You don't know how much is too much. Once it is in your bloodstream, there is little you can do about it. Your relaxation may turn to sluggishness. Your pep may turn to jitters. It's best to avoid these substances altogether.
Eat lightly, or not at all, one hour before speaking. A full stomach can lower your energy level and concentration, because your body is busy digesting food. Any nervousness can make digestion difficult. You don't want a belch or a gurgling stomach interrupting your speech!
8. Look your bestTake care with your appearance. Polish your shoes and comb your hair. Wear attractive, flattering, professional-looking clothing. When you look good, you feel confident. If you aren't sure what looking good is all about, do what professional speakers do. Meet with an image consultant to learn what colors and styles look best on you. Women can get personalized advice on hair and make-up. A good image consultant can tell you how to look fantastic without spending a fortune.
9. Remember to breatheAnxiety tightens the muscles in the chest and throat. With a restricted airway and insufficient oxygen, your voice can come out as a squeak! Deep breathing, on the other hand, sends oxygen to the lungs and brain and expands the throat and chest, promoting relaxation. As you approach the platform, take a deep breath and relax.
10. Focus on friendly faces While speaking, maintain eye contact with your listeners. Find friendly faces and focus on them. Smiles and approving nods will give you extra encouragement.
Final Words….It's ironic that some people are more afraid of public speaking than of driving on the highways. Yet, vastly more casualties and fatalities result from traffic accidents than from public speaking. Fear is a natural survival mechanism. It can motivate us, or stop us in our tracks. In situations that pose a threat to life and limb, fear motivates us to be careful. On the other hand, fear is a problem when it interferes with our goals and achievements. These ten tips will help you progress toward confidence on the platform. Ultimately we succeed when we conduct ourselves according to the rewards we want, rather than the things we fear.
Article Source :
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About the Author :
Judith E, Pearson, Ph.D. owns and manages Motivational Strategies, Inc., a counseling and coaching practice in Springfield, VA where she specializes in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and clinical hypnotherapy. She is also a freelance writer and speaker. Her web site is http://www.engagethepower.com.
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