Doctor Faustus' Third Journey
XVIII
It was in his sixteenth year that Doctor Faustus undertook a tour or a pilgrimage, instructing his servant that he should conduct and convey him whithersoever he would go. He journeyed invisible down to Rome, where he went unseen into the Pope's Palace and beheld all the servants and courtiers and the many sorts of dishes and fine foods that were being served.
For shame! he remarked to his spirit. Why did not the Devil make a Pope of me?
Yes, Doctor Faustus found all there to be his ilk in arrogance, pride, much insolence, transgression, gluttony, drunkenness, whoring, adultery and other fine blessings of the Pope and his rabble. This caused Doctor Faustus to observe:
Methought I were the Devil's own swine, but he will let me fatten for a long while yet. These hogs in Rome are already fatted and ready to roast and boil.
Since he had heard much of Rome, he remained for three days and nights in the Pope's Palace, using his sorcery to render himself invisible. Now hear ye the adventures and the art which he used in the Pope's Palace.
The good Lord Faustus, having had little good meat and drink for some time, came and stood invisible before the Pope's board, even as he was about to eat. The Pope crossed himself before taking meat, and at that moment Doctor Faustus did blow hard into his face. Every time the Pope crossed himself, Faustus would blow into his face again. Once he laughed aloud, so that it was audible in the whole hall; again, he did weep most convincingly. The servants knew not what this might portend, but the Pope told his people it was a damned soul of which he had exacted penance and which was now begging for absolution. Doctor Faustus enjoyed this very much, for such mystifications well pleased him, too.
When the last course finally arrived and was set before the Pope, Doctor Faustus, feeling his own hunger, raised up his hands, and instantly all the courses and fine dishes together with their platters flew right into them. Together with his spirit he then rushed away to a mountain in Rome called the Capitolium, there to dine with great relish. Later he sent his spirit back with an order to fetch the daintiest wines from the Pope's table together with the finest goblets and flaggons.
When the Pope found out how many things had been stolen from him, he caused all the bells to be rung throughout the entire night and had mass and petition held for the departed souls. In anger toward one particular departed soul, however, he formally condemned it to purgatory with bell, book and candle. As for Doctor Faustus, he accepted the Pope's meat and drink as an especial dispensation. The silver was found in his house after his death.
At midnight, when he was sated with the victuals, he bestrode a horse and flew off to Constantinople. Here Doctor Faustus viewed the Turkish Emperor's might, power, brilliance and court entourage for a few days. One evening when the Emperor sat at table Doctor Faustus performed for him an apish play and spectacle. Great tongues of fire burst up in the hall, and when everyone was hastening to quench them, it commenced to thunder and lighten. Such a spell was cast upon the Turkish Emperor that he could not arise, nor could he be carried out of there. The hall became as bright as the very homeland of the sun, and Faustus's spirit, in the figure, ornaments and trappings of a Pope, stepped before the Emperor, saying:
Hail Emperor, so full of grace that I, thy Mahomet
do appear unto thee!
Saying nothing more, he disappeared. This hoax caused the Emperor to fall down upon his knees, calling out unto Mahomet and praising him that he had been so gracious as to appear before him.
The next morning, Doctor Faustus went into the Emperor's castle, where the Turk has his wives or whores, and where no one is permitted except gelded boys who wait upon the women. He charmed this castle with such a thick fog that naught could be seen. Now Doctor Faustus transformed himself as had his spirit before, but posed as Mahomet himself, and he did reside for a while in this castle, the mist remaining throughout his stay, and the Turk during this same period admonishing his people to perform many rites. But Doctor Faustus drank and was full of good cheer, taking his pleasure and dalliance there. When he was through he used the same art as before and ascended into the sky in papish raiment and ornament.
Now when Faustus was gone and the fog disappeared, the Turk came to his castle, summoned his wives and asked who had been there while the castle was for so long surrounded with fog. They informed him how it was the god Mahomet who at night had called this one and that one to him, lain with them and said that from his seed would rise up a great nation and valiant heroes. The Turk accepted it as a great benefit that Mahomet had lain with his wives, but he wondered if it had been accomplished according to the manner of mortals. Oh yes, they answered, that was the way it had been done. He had called them, embraced them, and was well fitted out--they would fain be served in such sort every day. He had lain with them naked and was certainly a man in all parts, except that they had not been able to understand his tongue. The priests instructed the Turk that he ought not believe it had been Mahomet, but rather a phantom. The wives on the other hand said, be it ghost or man, he had been very kind to them and had served them masterfully, once or six times--nay, even more often--in a night; all of which caused the Turk much contemplation, and he remained doubtful in the matter.