Barlow by Warren Griffiths - HTML preview

Epilogue

She didn’t come out of this unscathed. She would relive the moment many times in her sleep. She saw Toby recoil in shock as Johnson fell to the ground clutching his stomach. She had run to him padding at his shirt in a vain attempt to stop the bleeding, crying and pleading with him to hold on at the same time.

She looked up at Toby with the intent of yelling at him to get help just in time to see him point the gun at her. She stared down the abyss of the shaking barrel and her own demise. But then he turned the weapon so that it faced him.  She could see those scared childlike eyes filled with terror at what he had done. She tried to reach out to him before the barrel went into his mouth but it was too late. He squeezed the trigger and was scared no more. She ran to him screaming his name but he was already gone.

In the background, the sirens of the approaching vehicles wailed their mournful tones getting ever louder before ending with a screech of tyres then running, yelling. All in a dream She was wrapped in a blanket and whisked away from the scene as if to hide her from the horror. But too late, she had already seen it unfurl and it was all her fault.

She had never wanted this. She had taken things too far and the price had been too high. She felt the pangs of guilt gnaw away at her. It wasn't her intention to make any of them to suffer but she couldn’t help herself. Something seemed to drive her that she had no control over. An undiagnosed condition perhaps. Or maybe that is just who she was, evil but with the face of an angel.

There was something about Kate that made men want to break the rules. That was their downfall. It wasn't just her beauty, but her ability to tap into their desires and satisfy them like an emotional chameleon.  But she came with a price that all too many had paid.

First, there was her father who never spoke of their time together nor showed her any real affection afterwards. But it was he that noticed her change first. As she began to develop, his gaze shifted to her more often and for longer. Nothing was said and he made no approaches to her but everything changed. He withdrew his affections from his wife and silently longed for his daughter instead.

While Kate blossomed into early adulthood, her Mother declined. She began to suffer from the loss of attention and the alienation seemed to fuel the darkness growing inside her slowly sapped her strength. Her zest for life wilted without the love that had once sustained her.

People began to notice that the glow that once bathed her skin in a vibrant sheen began to fade and she took on a pallid look. The smile rarely came to her lips anymore and when it did, it was just a shadow of its former self. She rarely ate and the weight fell away which hastened the demise. She became withdrawn and weak. She still walked in the woods, not to appreciate its beauty but to mourn, in solitude, the loss of her own and the very thing that made life in this place worth living … the love of the man she left everything behind for and followed to a strange land. 

Kate had observed her Mother’s decline with an increased sense of dread. She struggled to comprehend the drama that was unfolding all around her. Toby didn’t seem to notice or care. He had other things on his mind.

The doctor came and went, leaving an indecipherable scribble on a piece of paper. She asked what it meant, but no one would answer her.  No one would respond when she demanded to know what was happening. They wouldn't even lie to put her mind at ease.  Eventually, in the absence of the truth, in the dark hours when sleep deserted her, she drew her own conclusions.

When the end came, and her Mother disappeared around the bend in the river, it signalled the end of a long and painful decline. Kate felt the burden of her mother’s demise lift but her Father could never reconcile her death. He bore his guilt in silence, retreating deep within where sorrow resided. Kate’s attempt to quell his loneliness only served to fuel his remorse although he never turned her away.

Meanwhile her brother, fuelled by a simplistic delusion, staked his claim over her. He became increasingly possessive and rarely let her out of his sight during the day. It was only when he slept that she was able to attend to her father. 

Kate was feeling hemmed in. The more her brother tried to smother her with his affections, the more claustrophobic she became. Somehow, she had to escape, leave all the anger and sadness far behind her and start a new life far away. She began to squirrel away her meagre earnings in the hope that one day her chance would come. She didn’t know when or how but she would be ready when it did.

In the end, fate would intervene. Fate would determine that Toby would have a restless night. Tossing and turning before leaving his bed and heading towards the kitchen. Like any teenage boy, he was always eating

Fate would decide that, at the moment, a soft moan would escape her lips causing the boy to stop in his tracks. Her moan, but not from her room. He would creep to the end door, the door to their Father's room. Then a peek through the keyhole would send a dagger of jealousy through him. He would watch, allowing the hatred to build within him before returning to his room and plotting his revenge.

He would make them pay for this betrayal.  But for all his anger he was also a coward. He wouldn't face his father directly; the old man was more than a match for him. But Kate … he could hurt Kate and they would both feel the pain. He would wait until the old man left, early as always, well before bird song. Then he would listen for the tell-tale signs of Kate returning to her room, then the shower and finally the kitchen.

Now.

At first, she ignored him, used to his constant presence. It was only when she saw the glint of steel, and his manic look, that panic gripped her. She backed away from him begging for him not to do this. Tears glistening in her eyes.

“Please … don’t. What do you want from me?”

But his anger couldn’t be dissolved by mere water works. Not this time.

“You know what I want. You know what I’ve always wanted. But no … you had other plans didn’t you. Well, too bad. You have made your choice, now you pay.”

So, she ran like she had never run before, towards the town that lay at the end of the lane beyond the river.

So far … too far.

Down the hill, towards the crossing, onto the boards. Then fate played its final hand and delivered her to the one place where she could complete her plan … Barlow. She would be safe here for a while and then she could disappear, leave everything behind her. She had resources here that she could tap into. Men mostly. She could use their weakness to her advantage. Samuels was too easy. A smile and a promise, would be used as credit. Of course, there would come a time when payment would be required but that was ok, it was all part of the plan.

And then there was Peter. Dear sweet Peter who tried so hard not to fall under her spell to no avail. Peter had his role to play. Peter would protect her, keep her safe until she could make her escape. Deep inside, she had feelings for Peter, possibly sympathy but he was the first to treat her as something other than just a possession. But he got too caught up and suffered as a result just like the others.

She didn't mean to make them suffer, it just seemed to turn out that way. Images of Johnson, her father and brother drifted into her memory, each one passing judgement on the way she ruined their lives. A tear kissed her cheek as remorse chastised her for her actions.

I’m so sorry.

But her regret never lasted for long. Her emotions quickly reset and she regained her composure. She looked out of the window of her small seaside apartment paid for by her lover who does whatever it takes to keep his sex life and marriage separate. She only sees him when he is on his ‘business trips’ and the rest of the time is her own. She works a bit, she turns a trick when he is in town and in return she lives a comfortable existence free from all the pain of the past.

In the glass, she sees a reflection of her face. So beautiful with those eyes that had seen things a girl her age shouldn’t have seen. Now she looks beyond at the vista of her new existence and allows the past to slip into the background. She grabs her bag and heads for the door.

There’s no need for it any more.

Let it all just wash away … gone

… like water under the bridge.