As he picked up the book and propped up the pillow on the bed to lean against it, the book opened to a page he had not looked at previously.
I hope you enjoyed your day so far. You learn quickly about many things.
Many times, people think people do bad things, or do things to hurt others. They believe that they are inherently ‘evil’. Please think of it in another way as I think it is not healthy for you. I believe, and have found it to be true so far, that ALL people do the best they can ALL THE TIME, EVERY TIME, given what they know at that moment.
There is no “doing bad things” as even the most “evil” person thought they were doing the best they could, and doing what they thought was right at that moment. Whether it is right or wrong is the observer’s perception. Yes, it is not good to hurt others in most cases. Some feel, because they have hurt inside themselves, to make their hurt go away, they need to hurt another. They think it is the right thing to do at that time. A Cocker Spaniel, if it gets its ear stepped on, will bite the foot stepping on the ear, yet the dog is not evil. It is doing what it can to stop the pain.
In the sea, the most widely known shark to bite humans is a Nurse Shark. Yet, it is not trying to eat people. Sharks do not even like the taste of people – People taste terrible! In the case of the Nurse Shark, it feeds on sea urchins and other animals in the shallow lands of the sea. Therefore, when people enter the water to play, without knowing the shark is there, step on the poor thing while it is just laying there resting, looking for food, or whatever else Nurse Sharks do with their day in shallow water. When the human foot pushes down on the body of the shark, is it the human who is evil for stepping on the shark? Or is the shark evil because it bites the human? Neither. It is a circumstance. They are both doing the best they can with what they know at the moment. It is nothing more or nothing less.
Sometimes, people have this idea called “revenge.” This is a strange idea for me, but I am a teddy bear and I have no concept of the idea except from what I see and hear from others. What I understand, it is much like what I just mentioned. Because someone hurt them, they feel they have to hurt that person who caused them pain, so they, too, will feel the pain or to get that person to stop hurting them.
The difficulty with revenge is that the first cause gets forgotten in most cases. A group of people called a gang, gets hurt by another gang. The first gang feels they need to hurt the other gang because of something said or done which caused pain to the first gang. The difficulty is that the first gang probably forgot why they wanted to hurt the second gang, so when the second gang hurts the first gang with this idea of revenge, the first gang thinks the second gang needs to be hurt — revenge. It goes on for a long time, many times. When does it stop? It goes on, in many cases, for many, many times, for many, many years.
Anger lasts for a long time — cause is forgotten quickly. I suggest that when the pain is intentional, one must understand what happened. If you caused the pain, apologize. If someone hurts you, understand ,and if you can understand clearly, forgive.
This brings us up to your next issue; the phrase “I am sorry.”
“I am sorry” is a wonderful phrase if said with the heart, when one hurts another. If it is said when one makes a mistake, what is the reason? Many people are taught as children, whenever you do anything that is not right, to say, “I am sorry.” Everyone makes mistakes every day. It is natural.
Mistakes are learning experiences. When we learn from the mistakes, we no longer make those mistakes over and over. We then make our lives better.
If you enjoy something delicious, like honey, (thinking of A.A. Milne’s ‘Winnie the Pooh’) if you eat it every day, it loses its delicious flavor, by your perception. It becomes boring. Therefore, the meaning of honey being delicious becomes not very meaningful. The honey did not change — you did.
The same thing goes for saying, “I am sorry.” If it is said out of habit and not from the heart, it does two things. Firstly, it loses its meaning of sincerity. As I stated earlier, the phrase is meant and is effective as a sincere phrase when used from the heart for the right reasons. It feels good to the person who hears it if they have felt hurt from another. If one hears it without the sincerity, it becomes ineffective — untrue — like a lie.
Secondly, when one says it too much, it makes the person saying it feel like he or she is a bad person.
The brain is a beautiful computer. The human brain, for example, controls every bodily function, all without the person thinking about it. These are thousands of functions every second. That, to me, is amazing. When it comes to issues of the heart, however, it seems not to be so wise. It listens to the words spoken by the self or another. When it hears the words, it does not know about the idea of a “joke.” It takes everything as if it is serious. Therefore, when one thinks something long enough, the brain begins to believe it, “making it true,” whether it really is or not. Another term for ‘self fulfilling prophecy.’
For example, children who are told that they are stupid begin to believe they are, and do poorly in tests, in school, and in life. Children who are told that they are intelligent, believe they are, and do well in their tests, in school and in life. Children who are told that they are wonderful and loving believe they are, and they do wonderful, loving things in their life. We will talk about this and how it relates to our health, later.
Here are some thoughts or possible guidelines for you to think about.
This includes you!
He closed the book and thought for a long minute. “This is really strange,” he whispered to himself. “Well, might as well open the book up again and see what else it has to say.”
When he re-opened the book, it said,