31. SUPERMANS WORST NIGHTMARE
Los Angeles: Saturday 2nd June 1990
OH SHIT! I LOVE this fuckin' song:
ALL MY LAZY TEENAGE BOASTS...
ARE NOW HIGH PRECISION GHOSTS....
AND THEY'RE COMING ROUND THE TRACK..... TO HAUNT ME.......
You spend money on a good ass stereo, you gotta crank that motherfucker up:
AS SHE TURNS TO ME AND LAUGHS..... I REMIND HER OF THE FACT......
THIS IS THE FUCKING LINE RIGHT HERE BITCH:
I'M-THE-KING-ROCK N ROOOOOWWLL..... ..... COMPLETELY.......
GOD DAMMMNN!!! I'm the king of Los Angeles!!!!
Now all I gotta do is find something to do n shit! That asshole has left me on my own....... Shit...... Tone......
Spent two fuckin' hours in the airport parking lot reading the last part to that motherfuckers new shit! I just sat there in my motherfuckin' car n shit, mesmerised....
I'm kinda gonna miss Tone....
I mean, who else will I have to be a pain in the ass too? Truth be told.....
Tones got problems......
The other night, I saw him talking to the mirror......
Who the fuck talks to mirrors?!
I mean, I know he's not crazy! And after what's he's been through, I wouldn't blame him.... Never thought I'd say this... But....
Shit.....
Jeff was the lucky one......
I never doubted Tone, but I had to know if he was telling me the truth. He was! Every word!
When he passed the lie detector, I just fuckin' knew! It was all real!
TONE GOT FUCKED!!
Jeff got off lightly..... I'd rather him alive than dead, y'know........ The fact that Tony even escaped......
I mean SHIT! He was lucky!
Jeff may not have made it, he ain't as strong as Tony.....
I can't even imagine what we would have had to endure as a family, never knowing what happened.....
Sure, he's fucked up......
Staring outta a window all day....
But we know where he is! Jeff's back home!
I can see him whenever..... Talk to him whenever.... I don't think he's in pain like Tony is......
Is he?
Who fuckin' knows?!
I mean, he ain't the Jeff I knew, but he's Jeff.... My only friend..... Well, him and Tone......
Let me kick the bass up on this bitch:
UP FROONT! SUEDE SHOEEES! MAAAH BABBEYYY BLUUESS!!
C'MON ASSHOLE!!
HOT-DOG!!!
People always ask me:
"Is it cool working for Rolling Stone magazine?"
It sucks!!
Millions of dead beat assholes buy it, read it and then forget about it!
Why?
'Cos nobody, and I mean fuckin' NOBODY really gives a shit about journalism!
Why?
'Cos most journalists are assholes! Dumb asses who couldn't write books or scripts!
Hacks!
I'm a hack! So is every asshole who hangs around the office like a bad smell......
Just a bunch of assholes who like music too much because we're over sensitive, obsessive motherfuckers! We wanna bore the whole fuckin' world with our theories on music! Tell the world we know what's cool and what's not! We know what you should like and what you shouldn't like!
We run the music scene n shit! All of us never had the brains or talent to amount to shit! Couldn't play an instrument, couldn't sing.... The world will never hear our masterpiece........
They'll never hear the next Beatles...... They'll never hear the next Dylan.......
So we write for Rolling Stone.... And who reads Rolling Stone?!
Fuckin' assholes! Coked up dentists from Miami! Over obsessive kids who can't get laid because they spend their days jerking off in their room to Pink Floyd records! Middle-aged, balding assboles who rock a ponytail n shit!
Who writes for Rolling Stone?!!
Assholes who write about bad records when most people get serious jobs! Assholes who listen to Gratefull Dead records! Fuckin' San Francisco hippies who got lost from 1971 n shit!!
Big mouth assholes...... Motherfuckers like me.......
My life is fucked!
I can't form lasting relationships with girls.... I dress like a pimp..... I got a bad attitude...... It all means nothing..... But....
Y'know what?
I ain't problems like Tone does.....
Who does?
So really, I ain't got no excuse.....
Maybe I'll knuckle down as a journalist......
Maybe I'll write a book... Win some sorta prize n shit!
Maybe I'll tone down the gold jewellery and the duds....... Start dressing like a fuckin' WASP...... Maybe I'll change the attitude and talk real nice to people... Maybe I'll be a respectable fucking citizen n shit!
Maybe I'll be the Jesus-Killing Jew I should have been along..... Find myself a Jew broad!
Maybe she can squeeze out some fat ass kids and ruin my life.... Maybe I gotta tone down the drugs an' booze n shit...........
Even Superman's Worst Nightmare can't live forever...... Right?
...... Who gives a shit?! Anyways......
Cudda.... Shudda.... Wudda.....
It ain't none of yer fuckin' business!
What the fuck!
Where's my Public Enemy cd n shit?!
Crank this shit up as I roll through Los Angeles..... Cruise through Cali like the king that I am......
Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!
Now get the fuck outta here and live your own life.....
...... Fuckin' asshole!