The Little Things
This is what not judging a book by its cover was all about. Here in Vrindavan, they used a broom consisting of stalks of broom corn tied together with some sort of binding tape around them leading up to a handle that makes you bend over to be able to sweep the ground. When I first saw people using them and they wanted to give me one to use, I thought they were nuts! Why didn’t they have a regular broom like we used in the US with a long handle and thicker brushes that wouldn’t fall off while you worked? Turned out I didn’t know what really worked.
Then I realized the dust in Vrindavan is so fine that a broom like we have in America would just scrape right through it and leave most of it on the ground, looking as if I were trying to make some sand art as done in Buddhists monasteries for meditation. And, when you ‘broom,’ you kinda need to bend over anyway to get under everything because the dust goes everywhere! This little bunch of leaves was exactly what was needed to keep my floor clean. Little did I know.
But what does it all mean? We are so quick to judge and think we know best and in India, more than any place in the world, you will learn that you don’t know shit! Americans especially, felt our lives were extremely convenient and if others didn’t follow in our footsteps they were just crazy. And believe me, I was so thankful for the conveniences from home, but when you are in another country, sometimes other things just worked better. When in Rome, right? I wanted to wear my western t-shirts and bluejeans in India, but the cloth was so thick I would have melted in them. Therefore, nice thin cotton clothing worn in most of India is usually much more comfortable. It can be very humbling. It is the little things that sometimes teach us the lessons we need most.
Time is another thing that taught me many lessons in Vrindavan. I am an on-time person! My father taught me to be on time and taught me if I couldn’t make my appointment, I should call ahead if possible and notify the person. I believe in that whole-heartedly. Therefore I have gone almost stark-raving mad here in India with their lack of a time schedule. I first noticed it when I was staying at a guest house and the inn keeper was about to take me and drop me off at a shopping area. He told me to get ready and then we would go. I went to my room, showered, did my hair, put on fresh clothes and went back downstairs. I said, “I’m ready.” He said, “Just relax. Drink some tea.” Relax, I’m thinking? Tea? I’ve got a list with at least a dozen things I need to get done and you just want to sit around and drink tea?
But that was the lifestyle in India. I came up to a traffic light in Delhi and looked across the street to see the directional sign saying, “Relax” instead of “Stop”. I had to laugh, and I mean really laugh at myself! The signs actually said walk and relax instead of walk and stop! It may seem insignificant, and really it is, but those were the little things that changed you when you were in India. It was the culture. In America we were on fast forward most of the time or at least until it was happy hour. So it is extremely hard to adjust to another culture where people do not bother making a to do list, and don’t drink their coffee till around nine or ten in the morning. I would have been completely dragging by that time. I was addicted to coffee first thing to wake up my sleepy brain!
I was traveling on the train one day from Delhi to Mathura, a 3-hour trip that turned into a 5-hour trip. When I was finally about to pull my hair out, I stood up to stretch and walk around a bit. I moved my seat, as most seats were empty. Evidently, this train is notably late and thus the empty seats. The young gentleman who helped me on the train with my luggage came and sat beside me and we began to talk. He was going to his home in Agra from northern India for the Holi festival. Holi is another big festival all around India where people throw colored dyes on each other in commemoration of Radha and Krishna doing the same. Some of the dyes are powdered and some are in large squirt guns shooting bombs of hot pink liquid color to drench your body, hair and clothes.
He wanted to know about my feelings about India and I told him a few different things. I loved the sweetness of the people and their spirituality, but getting things done here was like moving in slow motion. What I could get done in Los Angeles in three hours might take me three weeks here.
I asked him about his travels and he revealed he was going home for the holiday and said there were few opportunities to go home to visit as there were only 25 holidays a year in India. My mouth dropped as I said, Whaaaaatttttt?????? I explained that in America we only celebrated around 8 holidays a year except Valentine’s and no one took off work to celebrate the lover’s holiday. He was astounded. Only eight? That was another ah-ha moment for me. Can you imagine getting 25 holidays a year? No wonder it took them so long to get things done! I wondered if those were paid holidays. Maybe they were paid for government workers. What a huge difference were our cultures. Was one better than the other? I didn’t know, but I thought you kind of leaned towards the culture you were brought up in.
Nevertheless, here I was in India trying to adjust to their culture and having a few realizations in the process. It was the little things that sometimes changed you. World travelers have been adjusting to other cultures since we poor souls found out the world is round. In the end, it is better to do what they do in their country instead of what you want to do when you’re in their homeland. You know, when in Rome. I was adjusting.