5
The door of the consultation room stood ajar. Slowly, a woman in her early twenties pushed it open even further. Shaking the hand of the doctor, the woman sat down on a plain chair. She crossed her legs so that one of her pumps nearly touched the physician’s desk.
“What can I do for you, Anika?” The doctor asked in a friendly manner.
Anika gazed at the doctor’s short brown hair and hazel brown eyes which blinked repeatedly. It must be some kind of tick, or perhaps she is one of those nervous types, Anika thought.
“I keep getting these awful headaches,” Anika complained.
The doctor asked her a list of medical questions and took her blood pressure.
“It is slightly on the high side, but it isn’t something you have to worry about. How are you getting on with your studies? Are the exams going all right for you?”
Anika studied Psychology at the Erasmus University in Amsterdam.
“We don’t have exams; we have assignments and I am finished with them for the year. The pain in my head is waking me up in the middle of the night, you know. It’s driving me absolutely crazy. I’m getting so tired of it.”
“Do you have a headache now?”
“At the moment, it’s only a dull pain,” Anika shook her head and her thick blond hair moved from side to side.
“But it is there. So are you telling me that you have pain in your head all the time?”
“Yes.”
“Since when?”
“I’ve had it for months now.” Anika wasn’t really sure when the pain had begun exactly. However, it felt as though the pain controlled her life.
“Do you have any other complaints?” The doctor asked.
“I’m dizzy when I wake up in the morning, but usually it gets less after breakfast.”
“Hm, let’s check your ears,” the doctor said.
The doctor finished examining Anika’s eardrums then said, “They are fine. I want to check your balance. Walk over that line for me.” On the floor there was a yellow line. It took her a lot of effort to keep her feet on the line while she walked from one side of the room to the other. Several times one foot touched the grey part of the linoleum.
“I’m not satisfied by your performance,” the doctor said. It will be good if you have a MRI scan done.”
“An MRI?” Anika asked. “Do you suppose it’s something serious?”
“I hope not, but as you have been here before with similar complaints I’d rather be safe than sorry.”
Almost immediately Anika sensed what the doctor might be talking about. Even in the new millennium some people were still afraid of saying the C word out loud.
Several weeks later Anika sat beside her mother in the waiting room of the Anthoni van Leeuwenhoek Hospital. She checked her watch and noticed her appointment ran an hour late.
When a nurse finally came to get her, Anika’s heart skipped a beat. “I’ll wait here for you darling,” Her mother said. She stood beside her daughter, holding her hand.
“She’ll be back in a half an hour, perhaps you can get a cup of coffee in the meantime,” the nurse addressed Anika’s mother.
The moment a nurse showed her to a consultation room, Anika’s heart began to pound fast. Now the scan became nearer, she grew more and more anxious about entering the machine. She wished her mother could come with her. She squeezed both hands into fists.
“Are you nervous?” The nurse asked.
“Extremely I have claustrophobia,” Anika answered.
“Don’t you want to know what’s giving you those headaches?”
“I have cancer, haven’t I?”
“Well, we can only find out by doing tests and it doesn’t have to be malignant, it might be a cyst. They can cause a lot of problems too.”
Anika was brought into another room. A man in casual clothes offered her a chair. “Hi, my name is Jack. Try to relax” The tall man had to bend down to hear Anika’s low voice.
“That’s easier said than done,” Anika said.
“Most people are afraid when they go for a scan, which is why we have this little chat.”
“Can’t you give me a sedative? Anika asked, not convinced the man was going to help her.
“We rather don’t. Tell me why you are nervous?”
“That I’ll get stuck in there and can’t get out.”
“Do you mean that you are afraid to lose control?” The man asked.
“I suppose so, yes that’s it.”
“In the event the electricity might fail the hospital has several backups, plus we can always save you manually,” the man smiled.
“How long will it take, I mean the scan?” Anika asked. She nervously bit her nails.
“Twenty minutes. Do you want to listen to music”? You can, did you bring your iPod or Mp3 player?”
“My mother has it in her bag can I go and get it?” Anika asked.
“Ha!” Jack laughed. His open mouth showed a set of rotting teeth. Anika turned away in disgust.
“You’re all right? I’ll ring the nearest nursing post.”
Nearly 15 minutes passed. She drank a cup of tea before her Mp3 player arrived. In the meantime a young doctor checked her blood pressure and heart functions. Anika detested his cold hands against her bare breast .The moment of truth had arrived. When she put the head phones on, the Doctor said, “You can’t wear your player inside the machine it interferes with the magnetic fields. “
At this point Anika’s heart was working overtime. Her eyes flashed wildly. “I can’t go through with the scan.”
“Don’t worry,” a nurse said.
“You have it easy, you don’t have to go into that thing”, Anika thought.
“Why did Jack say I can use my Mp3? Why did he lie?” Anika said annoyed. Her eyes were dark with fear.
“Jack?” The nurse said surprised, we have no Jack working here. You must have dreamt it.”
“Are you saying I’m stupid?” Anika shouted into the woman’s face.
“What’s going on here?” The young doctor with the cold hands ran towards them. “Is she giving you problems?”
“Not more than usual, but she could do with another cup of tea.”
“Right, we’ll bring it up.”
“Now sit down, because we can’t have a hyper girl in there,” The nurse remarked gently.
As soon as Anika drank the second cup of tea she was wheeled to the MRI room to be scanned. The drug in the tea was enough to knock her out.
Anika left the hospital after her ordeal with the MRI scan. Her worst nightmare had come true. She had hardly been able to hear the music the nurse supplied her with. The machine made such a noise that even with the volume up it was hard to hear. “What a disgrace to fool me like that,” she said to her mother who carried her bag. “This isn’t funny anymore.”
“I know sweetheart, but there was no other way to get you to take that test.”
“You knew what they were up to”? You knew they’d put something in my tea?”
“Not until after they’d told me, but then it was too late. Listen darling, I’m glad it’s over now, let’s go home.”
On the steps of the hospital building they passed a man in a leather coat. One of his arms accidently brushed Anika’s. “Sorry miss, but I’m not familiar with this hospital. This is where they treat cancer patients isn’t it”? The man spoke with an American accent, his skin was tanned by the sun.
“They do, yes,” Mrs Jansen answered.
“You need an appointment though,” Anika said.
“I’m not sick myself, but I am looking for patients who have little or no hope of recovery.”
“Oh good luck than”, I don’t know yet if I am sick or not, Anika said as a bee buzzed by.
“I hope I won’t need to ask you, but in any case you know someone who is, please give me a call,” he gave her a business card. Their eyes met his blue and hers hazel.
Something registered in Anika’s body. Although she’d experienced flings with boys as teenager, she hadn’t felt like this before She’d become to understand the real meaning of the word.
On Thursday, three days after the scan, she met the American again. He occupied one of the tables in her favourite cafe.
“Well hello,” he said. “Like to join me”?
Anika accepted the invitation for she was keen to get to know the man. “Are you a doctor?” Anika asked before she sat down.
“Not quite, I’m an agent.”
“FBI”? Anika asked. She smiled.
The waitress approached them to take their order.
“No I work for a firm called Betox, it’s a pharmaceutical enterprise.”
“Come in, please, take a seat,” the doctor in the examining room, reached out to shake Anika’s hand. It was a week after the MRI scan.
Nervously Anika took a seat. She stared at the file on the doctor’s desk. Afraid of the news she was about to receive she didn’t dare to look at the doctor,
“I am very sorry to tell you this,” the doctor said. Listening to the words, Anika’s courage sank into her shoes.
“I’m afraid the results of the scan were positive. It appears you have a tumour behind your left eye.”
“How long do I have?” Anika asked timidly.
“That’s hard to say, but with proper treatment you are likely to have a fair chance.”
“Will I recover, or will it be a matter of time before I…” Anika could not say the last word.
The doctor was looking patiently at her and then she said, “I’ve been reading reports in The Medical Journal; a new cancer medicine is being researched in the U.S., however they are still in the early stages.”
“It might come too late for me,” Anika sighed.
“If I learn about any developments I’ll let you know immediately,” the doctor promised, for now there are the conventional treatments available.”