CHAPTER 18
I get the call to come outside and James is waiting beside the back passenger side door. I thank him and then hop in, and he puts the luggage in the trunk. I see luggage in the passenger side seat, and then ask Ashley how much stuff she was bringing along with her.
“Not a lot. Just clothes, and jewelry, and makeup.”
“Five bags full.” James says as he gets back into the car.
“If this was mom going on vacation, we’d have to take an extra car to fit all the shit she brings.”
“I’ll agree with you on that one. Your mother does not travel light.”
We get to the airport and James walks us to the terminal, and then says goodbye, and Ashley gives him a hug and tells him to watch after her Dad for her.
We go and sit and wait for our plane to depart, which at this time, there are no delays, no crashes, no security measures which are going to slow us down. Ashley rests her head on my shoulder and then falls asleep. I guess she was up late last night, packing her entire life into her bags. I look around, and there are a couple of kids our age, that are probably going to England to study abroad, like Rebecca’s friend. The rest of them are old people, and some businessmen. Probably from England too, and I overhear them talking, and I can pick up on the accent. It’s British, but I can't make out exactly what dialect. People always say that in different parts of the country, you’re bound to sound different. Like people from the south in America sound a lot different from the people in the north. So I’m guessing the people in London might sound different from the people in Manchester or Cheshire, wherever we go.
“NOW BOARDING FLIGHT 435 TO LONDON.” A computerized voice comes over the PA and wakes Ashley up.
“Okay, time to get moving.” I pick up her carry-on bags, and mine, and we start walking to the exit.
“We’re in first class, seats C1 and C2. Do you want the window seat?”
“I don’t care where I’m sitting. If I’m in first class, they can put me in the bathroom for all I care.”
“Good, because I was going to steal the window seat whether you liked it or not.” She laughs and then skips ahead of me, now, full of energy.
We get on the plane and it’s nice, and the first class seats are leather, and I can see through the curtain that the regular seats look like shit compared to ours. I see a father and son in coach, and I almost think about asking Ashley if we can trade seats with them, but decide not to. She’s used to flying first class, and being pampered. I’m used to flying coach and buying off brand cereal because sometimes, I sacrifice taste for price. But right now, I’d be willing to sacrifice this seat for the boy in coach, just to let him see what it feels like.
“This is your captain speaking. Please turn off all electronic devices while we take off. It’s going to be about a seven hour flight, with little to no turbulence expected. Please buckle your seatbelts until the light flashes to signal that you can remove them. After that, you are free to move around the plane. Please, enjoy your flight.” The entire time he’s saying this, the stewardesses are motioning for us how to put on our belts, and they look like mimes. The one on the left is actually pretty cute, and she eventually says she’ll be taking care of first class, and even though I have a beautiful girl to my left, it doesn’t hurt to be waited on by another beautiful girl.
The flight seems like it takes less time than they say. Looking down, all you can see is the blue of the ocean, and sometimes, if you look very closely, you could see a ship sailing, or a small island of some kind, that looks like it might fit five or six people. Ashley falls back asleep, but she falls asleep against the window, and I take out Casino Royale and start reading it.
“That’s a great book to read on your way to England” the cute stewardess says. ‘They love Bond over there.” She has a British accent, but it sounds a little faded.
“Do they really?”
“Yes, at least I did when I lived there. I read all of them. So did my dad.”
“Where in England are you from?” She blushes a little.
“I’m originally from Winchester. But my parents travelled a lot, so I never really stayed in one place all that long. Where are you going?”
“London for a week or so. And then we’ll just travel around.”
“England is a lovely place. It really is. I think you’ll like it. You and sleeping beauty both.” She points to Ashley, who at this point is snoring.
“Anywhere is better than where we were. Can I ask you something?” “Go right ahead.”
“Do the British hate the Americans, or is that just something I hear.” She looks at me for a second, and then bends down.
“Everyone hates the Americans. But don’t worry, they don’t hate the people, individually. They just hate your government. The way you guys go about things. All of the countries you bully around. You’re like the big kid on the playground who goes around and takes everyone’s lunch money. But instead of money, it’s oil or land.”
“Well, that kind of sucks.”
“Don’t worry. They love having American tourists, so they’ll be nice to you. Americans spend money like crazy, and as long as you’re spending money, you have nothing to worry about.” She gets up as another passenger calls her over for a martini.
I sit and think about my life in the last month, and how my life in the next month will change all that. Everything I’m leaving behind is stained. They’re all bitter memories now.
“Just to let you know, we’re about thirty minutes from the London airport. If you look out your windows to the left you can still see the ocean, and if you look out your windows to the right, you can still see the ocean. So don’t be jealous of the person opposite of you.” The pilot clicks off, and a little bit of laughter is heard on the plane.
We finally land and collect our luggage, and I check my phone which is almost dead.
“Okay, what do we do now?” I ask Ashley.
“I thought you’d know the answer to that question. But I think we need a car, don’t you?” “Yes, a car would be nice. Who’s driving?”
“Me of course. You’d probably be on the wrong side of the road, getting us into accidents on our first day here. Ruin the entire trip.” She skips ahead, giggling, and I chase after her.
We rent a mid-size, four door Audi and we rent it for the month, just in case we have places to be, and make sure we get insurance on it, because I’m almost sure Ashley’s going to wreck the car once or twice on our trip here.
“Do you know how to get to the hotel?” I ask as we pull away.
“Not really, but I’ll just drive around. Everything here is so beautiful and old. It all looks extremely charming. The brick, everything is made of brick and it all looks so well built.”
“Looks like your backyard.”
“Yeah, dad does love brick. By the way, was he really an asshole to you?” She glances over at me then back to the road.
“No, not really. He told me he had to keep up appearances for you.”
“Yeah, he never really got to talk to any of my ex-boyfriends, and I’m guessing he wishes he did. I kind of wish he did, then we probably wouldn’t have dated. Could’ve avoided that entire fucking mess. But I’ve got you now, and he likes you, and if my dad likes someone, that must mean they’re a good person. He can tell if you’re an asshole, right off the bat.”
“How does he do that?”
“Well, he’s an asshole. So it’s pretty easy for him to pick up on his fellow kind.”
The hotel is gigantic, and the biggest one in England. We park it in front of the door, and someone comes along and takes the keys and parks it in a deck below the hotel, and we bring our bags in and go up to the counter.
“Hi, I have a reservation. Should be under Arthur Mitchell.” “Mitchell…Mitchell…I’m not seeing it. Could it be under another name?”
“No, it would be under Mitchell. We should have a room booked for a month.”
The guy behind the counter is looks confused, and constantly scrolling the mouse, looking for the name.
“Ah, there it is! I’m terribly sorry. We just got these new computers in and it’s all very frustrating. My apologies.”
“No worries I understand.” Ashley says, and she says it very politely and calmly, and I’m thinking her snapping point is much deeper down than mine is.
We get to the hotel room and Ashley’s wiped out. It’s nighttime here already, almost eight, and she just wants to go to sleep. This room is smaller than the one we were in last weekend. But I can’t expect that again. It’s still nicer than most of the rooms in the hotel though. It has a kitchen, and a little living room area with a couch and a TV, and one bed, which is big enough to where it takes up most of the room. She goes to sleep, and I go outside and breathe in the air of England, and it feels completely different. It feels like I got a second chance and I’m excited about it. I check my wallet for Rebecca’s friend’s number, and pull it out and put it in my phone. Rebecca said her name was Rachel, and that the studying abroad program she’s in requires her to do absolutely no work. Just show up for class once a week, and take tests online, which you can just look up the answers for. I dial the number and it rings a couple of times, and goes to voicemail, so I leave one saying who I am, that I’m a friend of Rebecca’s, and that if she wasn’t doing anything tomorrow, if she wouldn’t mind showing us around the city. I turn on the TV and watch an episode of a British sitcom, which I don’t think is all that funny. I take a shower and jump in bed with Ashley, who, although she slept almost the entire flight, is fast asleep now, and I curl up beside her and fall asleep, and I’m not bothered by any dreams that night. No restaurants, no women beside the windows, just sleep, and it’s very refreshing.
Rachel calls me around ten the next morning, and says she’d be glad to meet up. I tell her where we are, and she says it’s about three blocks from where she’s staying. She tells us to meet her at this restaurant in between, which she says is a little pricy, but not too bad.
“How well does Rebecca know this Rachel?” Ashley asks as she gets ready to go.
“She said they were pretty good friends. She did say she was a little out there. Always on ecstasy. But she sounded normal on the phone. So I guess we’ll have to see.”
“Have you ever done ecstasy?” Ashley asks.
“No, never have. I’ve been around people who were on it. Once when I was at a concert where a lot of people were doing it, some fat kid in a vest kept going around giving back rubs until he got the shit kicked out of him. I decided not to do it after seeing that. Have you?”
“Once. It was okay.”
The restaurant is busy, but when we get to the host stand, I see Rachel waving at us to come and sit, and she’s with a guy who’s wearing sunglasses and looks like he’s asleep.
“Hi, nice to finally meet you. Rebecca’s told me so much about you. Sorry to hear about your friend and all. But England’s a great place to forget your memories.”
“Who’s he?” I point at the guy.
“This is my friend Rick. He’s completely fucking out of it. He was doing lines all night and now he can’t keep his fucking eyes open. He’ll be with it in a little while, I’m sure.”
Rachel is also very attractive, and I can see why she and Rebecca would be friends. They’re very similar in appearance. Both dress well, both sexy, but Rachel’s hair is dyed crimson red, which is the only thing that throws me off, and it doesn’t look good against her pale white skin, but she doesn’t seem to care.
“Now, if we’re going to go on a tour of England, it’s going to take a little longer than a week. You can do all of your sightseeing whenever you like, as long as you don’t include me in it. I’ve already seen Big Ben and all of the boring museums and the shit they have here. It’s the same as it is back in America, only they have more of a history here so it’s longer and much more boring. However, tonight, we will be going to a party in the city, at eleven, if that suits you two.”
“Yeah, that sounds good to me.” Ashley says, surprisingly fast.
“Okay, good. Good. I was worried you two were going to be losers there for a moment. You’ll have to excuse me. I’ve been up all night keeping this fucker from dying. My manners are out the window.”
“No matter. Do you want us to pick you up? We’ve got a car.” I say.
“No, that’s okay. The party isn’t too far away from us. I’ll introduce you to some of my friends, and then you’ll get to know the place a little better.”
We eat lunch, and Rick is still in a coma, so he just sits there. Once I think I see him move to take a sip of water, but that might be just my mind playing tricks on me. The lunch is good, better than most of the stuff you can get back in America. Everyone there is very proper though. They all pull their partner’s chairs out for them, and most of the men are extremely well dressed, which makes me look like a fucking slob. I tell Ashley we need to go shopping for me, to get myself some clothes for the party, and to make myself look presentable. After looking at everyone else, she agrees.
Walking back to the hotel, we see a store that looks like it has nice clothing in it, so we go in and end up spending six hundred and eighty euros on pants and shirts, and ties. I get a solid one, so when we get back, Ashley can show James and he can think I dressed well. At the hotel room, Ashley pins me down and starts undressing, and I’m extremely turned on, even though it’s in the middle of the day. I reach under her skirt to take her panties off, only to realize she’s not wearing any. We fuck for about thirty minutes, until I come inside of her, and then we lay in the bed and smoke. Only my cigarette still isn’t lit this time.
“Is it story time?” She looks at me, inhaling the smoke and then blowing it out in little circles.
“I can’t think of any stories to tell.”
“Tell me one of your happiest stories.” She says.
“That would bore you.”
“Why?”
“Because you’ve taken part in all those stories.” She laughs and calls me a cheese ball.
“Okay, you want a story. I’ll tell you about when I was eight years old.”
“Is this a scary story?”
“No, it’s just a story. And one of the most interesting ones I have. I think. Anyway, I’m eight years old and I’m outside at the pond near my house. My parents were inside watching a movie and told me as long as I didn’t go in the pond that I was allowed to roam free. My parents put a lot of trust in me, I guess. So I’m walking around the pond, and I see a couple of frogs jump in the water, and I try to catch them, but they’re all too quick, and I don’t want to get close to the water and fall in. I’m turning the corner of the pond when I see this gigantic frog. When I say gigantic, I mean, it was about the size of a small dog. I kind of freak out for a moment, and back away, but then I realize the frog is just hanging out, not really doing anything. I start walking up to it, and it hops into the water from where it was sitting and it just, disappears. I went out every day after that looking for that frog and I never saw it again. I mean, this fucker was huge, and he would be hard to miss. I told my parents about it and they just laughed, but my dad said he had seen a big frog out there one time when he was fishing, but it wasn’t as big as the one I had seen. That entire summer I spend going around, looking for this stupid frog, and I never found it. I just imagine it died, or got eaten by something, or moved to another pond. Maybe my pond wasn’t good enough. But I was always fascinated with that. Funny thing is, I’ve never told another person this story except for you, and I’m not sure why I’m telling you.” I look down at her and she giggles.
“That’s an excellent story. Much better than the scary story you told last weekend. I like it. It has a little bit of depth to it, a little bit of allure. This gigantic frog that you think you see, but never reappears. The big frog is like your loch ness monster.”
“It really is. I swear, if I had the equipment, I would’ve gone diving in that pond to look for that frog. Okay, now your turn for stories.”
“Do you want a happy story or a sad story? Or would you like me to tell the story of how I lost my virginity again? That one combines both. A real solid story.”
“Tell me a happy story. Your happiest memory as a kid.”
“That one’s simple. It was the day I lost my first tooth. I put under the pillow and got a dollar from the tooth fairy. I was so excited, I went and showed everyone at school, and they were all jealous and tried pulling their teeth out to get a dollar from their parents. I think some of them got in trouble, trying to help the other kids out. They’d try the whole, string to the door thing, and end up just busting their faces.”
“That’s your happiest memory as a kid?” I look at her, really strangely.
“Yeah. I know it’s not much, but like I told you before, I had a shit childhood. So I hold onto that memory. Not everyone has a perfect childhood. It’s one of the many things I wish I could relive, and have change, because I always felt like I’d be a different person if I had a decent childhood. Don’t you?”
“I had a good childhood until my parents died. No, I think I like you the way you are. It really toughened you up. You wouldn’t be able to say or do half the things you say and do if it wasn’t for your childhood, you know? I feel like we have the lives we have for a reason. My parents were meant to die, and you were meant to run into Patrick, and to come into the restaurant when we were eating, and so on and so forth until we’re here, now, lying in bed, naked” I pick up the covers and check ‘Yep, naked. And if it wasn’t’ for those things, I wouldn’t be where I am right now, at this moment. And I’m very happy at this moment, so don’t try to steal it from me.”
She kisses me again and then we have sex a second time, but we don’t smoke afterwards, we just jump into the shower together and bathe like we normally would, just sharing the water with each other. The extremely cold water, because her temperature gauge is broken and doesn’t know what a nice warm shower truly feels like.
I call Rachel at ten thirty and she tells me that we should start walking the way of the restaurant, and that she would meet us there. Ashley’s wearing a very nice sweater, and I have on my new outfit, and I’m feeling pretty confident. I ask Ashley if she wants a Xanax, and she says no, but I take one just for shits and giggles, because I’m usually not good at meeting people for the first time. I always tend to leave a bad first impression that never washes away. Rachel is waiting outside the restaurant, smoking a joint, and she doesn’t seem to be as scared as I would assume someone smoking pot in public would be.
“They’re a lot cooler about it over here than they are in America. At least, I haven’t gotten caught yet. Nobody’s said anything. That’s not true. An old lady on the train said it smelled funny, so I stole her purse.” Ashley looks at me, a little worried, and then holds my hand.
“Why did you steal her purse?” I ask.
“She was being a bitch. She kept on yelling at her kids to shut up, even when they were being quiet. I wanted to fucking kill her. But I decided that stealing her purse was a better idea. Less bloody.” I know how she feels.
Rachel is dressed pretty slutty, with most of her body shown, but it’s not like you’d see in America. She’s not just wearing a small top. She’s wearing a small top, with a tight sweater on top, because the more clothes you have on, the quicker you want to tear those clothes off, which is something American girls don’t realize.
We get to this house that’s a little sketchy, because the windows are all drawn down, and the music is pretty loud, but nobody around seems to mind. Rachel leads the way in, and we pass by people drinking beer, and I wave hello at them, and some of them wave back and some of them just give me a look of boredom, but I don’t take offense, because they’re probably drunk. They all look at Ashley like she’s made of fucking gold though, and it makes me a little jealous.
“Here, I want you to meet the people in this room. They’re all doing lines, but don’t worry. They aren’t crazy.”
The couches are dark leather, and the coffee table is made of glass and has little white lines tracing down all of them. On the left couch, as Rachel points out, is Peter, and beside him is Jake, and on the other shittier couch, is Robert, and beside him is Erika. They all wave hello, and ask if we want to do a line. I put my hand up to say no, but Ashley actually says sure, and I’m a little thrown off by this. She takes the short straw and does about half of one of the long lines, and then Rachel does the other half, and Peter smacks her on the ass, and she just sits down on his lap. There’s a third couch in the room, that one guy is sitting on, and he’s sitting there by himself, and I have no idea what his name is, or what he’s doing there, because Rachel didn’t introduce him, but Ashley sits on the armchair and I sit in the middle, and he nods, but doesn’t say a word, so I just nod back.
“Jesus Christ, that’s some good coke. Where’d you get it from again?” Peter says to Robert.
“My friend just came from Berlin and he got it there. Got me an eight ball of it, and it’s some of the best shit I’ve had.”
“It really is. Holy fuck. Much better than that half flour shit Erika brought last week.” “Shut up. It was free. You don’t turn down free coke.”
“Yeah, you do. If it’s like you’re sniffing up the Pillsbury dough boy.” Everyone in the room laughs, except for me and the kid to my right. Ashley’s laughing pretty hard, and it makes me uncomfortable. Like, if this is how she’s going to be every time she does coke, then I don’t know if I should be taking her to these parties that Rachel’s bringing us to.
Rachel reaches into her pockets and takes out a bag full of little tablets, all with different designs on them. One has a smiley face, another has a shell, another has a tongue, and she picks the one with the smiley face and puts it in her mouth and then swallows it. She offers it to the guys on the couches, but they’re already riding the cocaine high and turn it down. Erika takes one with a clown on the front, and then she offers it to me and Ashley. Ashley takes the one with the shell, and I turn it down, and she doesn’t even make eye contact with the guy to my right. Who is, as far as I know, the only other person in this room who isn’t on drugs of some kind. “Ashley, are you sure you should be doing this? You just did a pretty long line. Don’t you think you should calm down a bit?” I whisper into her ear.
“I’m good. Don’t worry. I just want to have a little bit of fun before the night gets dull. Why don’t you take anything?”
“Because, I’m watching after you. We can’t both be high. Then who the fuck is going to watch after us?” She pulls my face in and shoves her tongue down my throat, which I don’t find attractive or sexy, and I’m turned off at the moment.
“Peter! Can we fuck tonight, or are you going to be a little bitch and go home?” Rachel says, still in Peter’s lap. He laughs and then they start kissing on the couch and Robert and Jake start doing more lines, and Erika is just sitting there, doing nothing, and Ashley gets up and asks the room where the booze is, and Jake jumps up and directs her to it. Erika gets up and comes and sits down beside me, and sits directly beside me, to where I can smell her fucking breath every time she talks.
“So, who are you going to fuck tonight?” She says, biting her lip.
“I’ll be fucking myself.” She starts to put her hand on my thigh but I stop it and hold it down. She takes it the wrong way, and climbs into my lap, and starts kissing my neck. I push her away, and then pick her up and put her down on the floor.
“What a boring fuck you brought, Rachel. He won’t even fuck me, and I’m basically all over him.” Rachel pauses from her make out session and says that Ashley’s my girlfriend.
“Even still. Where’s Ashley now? She’s not here. She won’t even know about it.” On that note, I start to wonder where Ashley is, so I get up and walk around the house looking for her. Erika’s sticking her tongue out at me, and nobody else in the room even notices, except for the guy sitting to my right, who smiles when I walk out of the room.
I’m walking down the hall and there must be forty, fifty people all jammed into this house, and they’re all drunk or high on something. Whatever it is, I don’t really give a shit, as long as it doesn’t cause them to give me back rubs, then we’ll be okay. I open a door, and it’s a bedroom where two guys are fucking a girl and she’s moaning real loud, so I shut the door and remind myself to not open anymore doors here. I ask a guy where the alcohol is, and he points up, and then apologizes, and says he’s had a few too many, and then points to the front of the house. I thank him, even though he’ll probably die of alcohol poisoning before the night is over.
I get into the room and it’s crowded as fuck and people are taking shots of vodka, and some bourbon, and all the while I don’t see Ashley anywhere around.
“Have you seen a blonde girl come in here, about ten minutes ago or so? Probably looking for something to drink.” I ask the most sober looking person in the room, and he looks at me long enough for his eyes to go cross.
“Was she really cute?” He asks.
“Yes.” I say.
“She took a couple of shots and then left. I think she’s using the bathroom upstairs.”
“If you see her, will you please tell her that her boyfriend is looking for her?” The guy nods, and I thank him, and walk back down the hall full of drunken idiots, and back into the room where Rachel is getting fingered on the couch, and Erika is rolling around on the carpet.
The other two guys have disappeared, but the guy with no name is still sitting there, observing what’s going on, so I sit down beside him, and look around. This isn’t what I had in mind for my first night here. I imagined something different. I could get this back at college. I wanted to go out to dinner with Ashley, maybe. Somewhere nice. I wanted to walk around England at night and admire the architecture.
“Did you find her?” Erika says, sitting up.
“No.”
“Pity. Looks like you’re all alone then. But then again, so am I.” She takes off her jacket, and then her shirt, and she’s got a phenomenal body, just a boring face. If this were two years ago, I’d fuck her in a second. But this is different now, I’ve got a girlfriend and I’m happy with her.
“Come on. Come over here and fuck me. Don’t make me beg for it.” She pats the empty seat beside her on the couch, and I ignore it. A tall guy walks in with brown hair, and she knows him and jumps up in his arms. They start kissing, and back out of the room. Thank fucking God. Rachel is jerking Peter off at this point, and the guy beside me isn’t looking at it, like I thought he would be. He’s looking at the empty couch, and I’m really starting to get worried about Ashley.
I leave the room again and go upstairs, where there’s moaning all over the place, and there are about six different doors to choose from, one of which would have to be the bathroom. I open door number one, but it’s empty. Just a guest room, because there’s no personality to it. Just boring. I shut that door, and guess on room number two. It’s locked, and I can hear people talking inside, so I assume that’s not it. I go to the room where I can’t hear anything coming from it, and try the handle, but nobody’s voice.
“Ashley, are you in there?” There’s a long pause, so I knock again.
“Yeah, sorry. I’m just a little sick at the moment.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“No, I’m just throwing up is all. I had too much to drink. I’ll be down in a little bit.”
I’m relieved that she’s just throwing up, but for the time being, I don’t want to be at this party. There’s too much going on, and I don’t want to be a part of it. Not tonight at least. When Rachel said she was going to take us to a party, I assumed it would be a small get together with her friends. Not this. I go back in the room and Peter and Rachel are gone, and the only person in the room is the guy sitting on the couch who looks up at me and smiles.
“It’s pretty fucking crazy here.” I say to him.
“It is.”
“Why are you here?” I ask, not expecting to get a response.
“Just to observe.”
“So you’re just here to watch people get fucked up and make mistakes? Is that what you’re saying?”
“Not exactly. I’ve made my number of mistakes doing the same things. But that was a long time ago. It’s just nice sometimes to watch it unravel. To be able to look at the memories being made without being a part of them.” And he turns back and looks at the two empty couches.
“I’m not going to lie, that’s a bit on the strange side.”
“It’s like parents going to a playground to watch kids play, because their kids are all grown up. And you miss those memories, but there’s nothing you can do to get them back. Besides, just sitting and observing.”
“I guess I see your point.” I sit down on the couch to the right of him, where Erika was sitting, and the loud music is still reverberating on the doors, but I can’t quite make out what they’re playing.
“Did you ever find your girlfriend?” He asks.
“Yeah, she was upstairs in the bathroom. She had a little too much to drink.”
“Good. I was worried for a moment there. Sometimes, peo