“You are still alive” Krakauer said.
Danforth couldn't see.
He dragged himself on all fours to the little water stream he could hear gurgling in front of him, then he put his head in and out of the water.
The water was so cold it felt like an ice hand grasping his face... But now he could see, at least.
He cleaned up his face with the sleeve of his jacket.
“Holy shit” he finally said, exhausted.
He felt light-headed.
He was gasping for breath because of coldness, pain and fear that had now became adrenalin inside of him, and he could feel it inside his bloodstream as if had drunk an exaggerated amount of strong coffee.
And yet, it was already beginning to slowly fade away, and in doing so it was leaving in its place an even worse cold than before.
His hands were shaking.
Too much adrenaline, too much cold and pain: he was in a state of shock.
He really was out of his mind... But he had already experienced all of that.
It was a terrible feeling for sure, but he only had to wait and it would soon be gone, and everything inside him would return to its place.
Danforth put his face under the water again, then he cleaned his eyes with his fingers.
Although it was frozen, this time he received it as a blessing.
His heart started to calm down, his tachycardia to reduce.
He cleaned his eyes again, and he could see well again.
As the adrenaline started to vanish, other than the cold Danforth started feeling all of the pains scattered through his body, and most of all the fatigue.
Then he saw his rucksack in a corner of the river, half submerged under the water.
It was intact.
“I've got a good one and a bad one” said Krakauer with a lowered head.
He was gasping for breath too and was holding his arm.
“Is that broken?” Danforth asked.
“No, don't worry. Just a blow”
“Talk than”
“The good news is that we are still in time. We can still do it if we hold on”
“And the bad news?”
“We have fallen too far down. We have to go back up a little”
Danforth closed his eyes and took a deep breath, cursing inside himself.
Then he thought that he could never walk up, not even a foot.
He was completely, absolutely finished.
And more, all of that pain was likely to get wasted if they couldn't arrive in time to the check point.
He almost decided to quit right now, rather than continuing to suffer like that.
Also because – let's admit it – was it really worth it?
Because that was the kind of life that was waiting for him inside the special forces: a life of forced labor, a life made of suffering in order to keep in a physical shape near the human limits, by the means of grueling workouts that he would have to do every single damn day, and for years.
Danforth opened his eyes and looked around.
The truth was that he still wanted to join the special forces.
It would guarantee him a sure job for many years and it would take him away from really worse things too.
All of what he was suffering at the time he was suffering for himself, to pull his socks up, to finally set up his life, because without that job in the army he would surely end up stone dead in the middle of an alley, or on the electric chair - which was something he had already risked – and he knew it very well.
Billy – he thought.
Maybe, had he joined the army before, now Billy would still be alive.
The first time he was pushed to join the army to avoid jail, but now he wanted it.
He wanted to be a professional soldier.
And that career would also give him the dignity he had chased after all of his life, that dignity his father never had.
Maybe one day, thanks to him, people would pronounce the name 'Danforth' with respect.
So the young man reopened his eyes, then stood up on his feet – pain –, went staggering to his rucksack – more pain – and in the end he put it on – unbelievable pain.
And while doing so, he almost cried.
***
After the climb the path was flat at least, and they weren't inside a flood stream anymore, but a little, insignificant drain.
Danforth and Krakauer were walking one in front of the other, deep in the water almost up to their shoulders, constantly tripping on the muddy river bed full of branches.
Behind him, Krakauer talked to him to cheer him up, and sometimes he pushed him forward, to help him when he lost his balance.
“Come on man” he was telling Danforth.
“Come on! It's almost over! Come on! We are doing it!”
***
The recruits were all sat on the ground, their backs against the barracks, the rucksacks full of stones lying on the ground in the middle of the square.
Rambo, Barry, Ortega and Jorgenson were still with their eyes shut, as if they were soaking up sunshine that wasn't there. Ortega in particular was sleeping in that sitting position with his mouth hanging open.
In front of the barracks there was a little path passing over a little drainage channel, with a small concrete bridge.
From down there Krakauer came out first.
He dragged himself onto the road exhausted and cursing.
He was covered in sewer mud and water from the head to it's toe.
Then he turned himself, stretched out his hand and helped Danforth to get onto the road too.
“Hey! Look where the fuck those two are coming out” someone said.
The two slowly reached the center of the square, but they didn't see any officer.
“There he is” said Danforth.
Garner, wearing a poncho, asked them their names and wrote them down.
Then they both put their rucksacks on the ground and while doing that, the pain ritual repeated itself, but this time neither Danforth nor Krakauer tried to stop their moaning, and no one present noticed it or thought about judging them.
Everyone was more or less in the very same state as them.
In fact, Danforth and Krakauer were so happy at having made it that this time they felt less pain.
After getting rid of all of that weight, Danforth felt his legs weaken. Walking was like flying to him. His head was spinning.
So, since he was staggering, he went to sit on the ground and against the barracks, like all of the others.
Krakauer instead spent a while with the officer.
He asked him if he knew anything about the other recruits of his former group.
“Oh yes: they still are in the 'valley of sounds'. From there it takes an hour at least to come here. They will never make it in time. You are the only two of the original group that successfully completed the task. Well done, guys”