They were up at seven, had breakfast at quarter past, and then packed up their stuff and handed the keys in at the desk. There was no bill to settle; pay as you go, in cash, the normal convention. The surly owner smiled at them and waved his arms around effusively, finishing with a bow and a pressing together of palms.
“He’s in a good mood,” said Jess as they set off through the archway onto the path that was Chumtang High Street.
“Alisha is a highly regarded teacher. He’s very pleased to have met her twin sister.”
“Word gets around here, doesn’t it?” And as if to prove the point, one or two locals greeted them with a bow and an occasional “Namaste” as they made their way along the path heading out of town. Jess felt clean and invigorated in her freshly laundered clothes and she’d been reluctant to surrender the relative comfort of the Traders Lodge in exchange for a few nights roughing it in teahouses, or worse. But she was fortified by the thought of getting home, seeing her girls again and, hopefully, returning to normal. As usual, she’d tied her hair back in a band and it was warm enough to be able to walk in her short-sleeved shirt, so unusually mild was the early morning weather.
They got to the school by 7.45 a.m. and many of the kids were already there, running around the yard, all in uniform; bright blue sweater and shorts for the boys, sweater and skirts for the girls. Jess judged their ages ranged from five to twelve but as the school seemed to comprise only two rooms, she wondered how they were divided.
Alisha saw them approach through the open window and came out to greet them, hobbling over with the aid of her walking stick. She wore a red smock over her baggy black cotton trousers and sandals, her hair tied back with a multicoloured scarf.
“Namaste,” she said bowing.
“Namaste,” bowed Jess and Simon in return. A number of children gathered round them, giggling shyly, fascinated by two more foreign faces. “I wonder what they’re thinking?” said Jess. “Two of us, here together.”
“Yes. Unusual enough to have one foreigner in their midst but two the same!”
“I’m going to wait for you by the path, Jess,” said Simon, holding out a hand. “Alisha, it’s been a pleasure seeing you again after all this time.”
“May peace be with you, Simon,” she said, surprising him by leaning forward and kissing his cheek. “I trust you will look after my sister?” He nodded and turned away. Alisha shouted something at the children and then followed it up in English. “Say goodbye to Miss Jess.” The children complied, shouting and waving in unison. “Now, everyone inside, wait for me there,” she said, and the kids dutifully scurried in through the front door.
“Do you think you’ll ever come back?” said Jess, already knowing the answer.
“No.” It was said without hesitation or regret.
“Then I shall have to come back here and surprise you one day.”
“Don’t, Jess. Stay and look after your girls. That’s where you belong.” Jess frowned. It couldn’t sound like a rebuff, not from Alisha; it wasn’t possible. “I will die soon,” she said, her face smiling and impassive as ever.
“What do you mean?” Jess shook her head, unprepared for the shock, unable to hide her confusion.
“I have the same affliction as Janica. I know the signs and the symptoms. I shall die within twelve months.”
“Oh, no. Are you sure?”
“Yes. I have lived through this once already.”
“But if you came back with us, we could get you some help. Maybe it’s not too late.” Jess heard the pleading in her own voice and felt a desperate need to help her, make her better. But Alisha was unmoved, her mortality clearly of no great importance.
“I’m ready. I’m ready to come back. I’m ready for the awakening. I have learnt so much in this life that next time, I will find true enlightenment. I am looking forward to it.” Jess wiped away the tears as they formed and ran down her face. The concept was alien and unfathomable and utterly terrifying for her, but she knew Alisha was telling her the truth as she saw it and it was clear the truth was not so terrible for her. She flung her arms around her and they held each other for a moment.
“Go in peace, Jess, and may you bring peace to everyone you meet. I know you’re able to do that.” Jess held Alisha’s upper arms and looked into her twin’s eyes, their faces an inch apart, tears cascading down her face, dripping onto her lips, the saltiness creeping into her mouth.
She put her hands on either side of Alisha’s face, caressed the hideous scar, touched her nose with hers, and for a moment they were as one. She closed her eyes, kissed her sister gently on the lips and released her, turning away to where Simon waited. She strode straight past him, head down, without turning back.
***
“What was all that about?’ asked Simon when he caught up with her. She had set off at a pace and although he knew she would waste no time getting back to her girls, it was a pace she couldn’t sustain.
“Tell you later.” Simon caught the tone in her voice and didn’t ask again. They walked onwards and upwards for three hours, stopping only twice for water and a short rest before, after five minutes, she insisted they continue on. They passed the dreaded toolshed by eleven but the grumpy man with the gun was nowhere to be seen. It didn’t matter anyway because she appeared determined to get back to Langtang before darkness fell.
Simon called a halt at one thirty and they stopped by a stream, unloaded their rucksacks and washed their faces in the cool water. He pulled bananas and apples out of his bag and handed her one of each.
“Is it something I said?” He never regarded himself as a sensitive soul, but he didn’t like to see her like this. Something was eating away at her, festering, ready to boil over. He’d already seen both sides of her; the angry, argumentative, determined way she’d been the first day they’d met and the warm, generous, loving person he’d seen talking to her children on the phone; and if he was honest, he couldn’t tell which he liked the best. He just knew that if she was anguished about something, he didn’t want to be the cause.
“She’s got leukaemia too. Just like her mother.” Jess attacked the apple, as if trying to discharge some of her anger onto the fruit. “And she doesn’t want any help. Stubborn. Just like her father!” A bit like her sister too, methinks. She looked up. “What?”
“That’s tough. I didn’t think it was hereditary. In fact, I’m sure it’s not. It’s in the genes. A genetic malfunction.”
“Either way, Dr Rutherford, she’ll be dead within a year.” She was bitter, he could tell. He peeled back the skin of a banana and tossed it as far as he could down the scree bordering the stream. He realised this was no time for levity. Back in the army, it was something they had all learnt to use in order to survive. But it wasn’t going to help her here.
“I’m very sorry.”
Jess took another bite of her apple and sighed.
“No. I’m sorry. It’s no one’s fault. I don’t mean to be stroppy. I’m just a bit, well, overwrought.”
“But you did get to see her. You decided, against good, solid advice, that you needed to meet her. You were right and you must feel vindicated about that and glad you trusted your instincts.” He wasn’t sure where his new-found sensitivity was coming from. It just seemed natural, somehow.
“When I first saw her, she said she knew I’d come.” She shook her head as if trying to clear the fog of conflicting thoughts rampaging around her head. “Is it possible? That it was all meant to be? Were there powers at work here that I just don’t understand? Are these same powers at work now? God, it does my head in!”
“Are you asking me or God?” He couldn’t help the lapse into flippancy.
“Oh. I’ve never been religious. Have you?”
“Nope. Although there have been a couple of times when I thought I needed a bit of divine intervention. Don’t know if anyone heard me or I just got lucky, but I’m still here. It’s all a bit mumbo jumbo to me, religion.”
“I can’t work it out.” She was tormenting herself, he could see, but he knew it would pass as soon as she had something else to worry about.
“Then I suggest you don’t even try. Focus on the stuff you can do something about. Like your kids.” It was deliberate. He knew she would soften when she thought of her girls and she nodded, looked up at him and a semblance of a smile returned. He decided he liked the warm, loving Jess better.
“So Dr Rutherford is a philosopher too?” He shrugged, accepting the barbed compliment. “You know, an old woman told me something similar a long time ago, and I’ve never forgotten it.”
“Well there you go. I’m as wise as an old woman. Jack would laugh his head off.” He was pleased and relieved to see she was laughing too, and he noticed for the first time how intoxicating her smile was. “Come on. Time to get going.”
They were back in Langtang by six thirty. It had been dark for the last half hour, but they’d been guided down the mountain by the lights of the town. The noise, activity and revelry of the trekkers and their guides and porters was a welcome release from the quiet seclusion of the trail.
He opened the door to the Panorama Restaurant and ushered her in. It was warm and noisy and steamy, the air filled with the aroma of cooking, the windows dripping with condensation, rows of benches and tables filled with animated travellers of all nationalities. They found a spot and dumped their rucksacks against the wall.
“I’ll go and sort out the rooms. The place looks pretty busy to me so we’ll have to take pot luck. Order yourself some food and I’ll be back in a few moments.”
“I’ll wait,” she said, and he nodded and stepped back outside into the chilly night air. She asked for a lemon and ginger tea and then people-watched, entertained by the porters who doubled up as waiters for their clients and the boisterous conversations of the trekkers, poring over maps and sharing photos. Her very first time out of her own country was to this weird and wonderful place and she would never forget it, for all sorts of reasons. Simon was back in a few minutes.
“Phew, that was a struggle,” he said sliding in next to her. “Hungry?”
“Starved.”
They ordered beer and dal bhat and apple fritters, and chatted to some Norwegians who, it seemed, spoke English better than they did, and when they had finished, Simon paid the bill.
“Come on. I’ll show you to your room.”
They crossed the courtyard and he unlocked the door to a room at the very end of the row. She breathed in deeply and stretched her arms but then shivered and wrapped her jacket around her, looking up at the night sky. It was clear and black and speckled with the wondrous light of a million stars. She noticed his outstretched hand, took the key and stepped into the room.
The teahouse was relatively new, as was everything in Langtang, but it didn’t mean it was any more salubrious than the old. It featured the bare essentials of a double bed, a table and chair and a light bulb, and the stone floor glistened with condensation. It was damp and cold.
Jess sat on the bed and sighed, weary and washed out. Her body ached and although she craved a hot shower, she harboured no illusions she would find one here.
“Where are you?” she asked, dropping her rucksack on the floor.
“Er, I’ve got alternative digs. This was the last one.”
“Where?”
“I’ll find something. Goodnight.” He turned away and attempted to pull the door shut.
“Wait! Get in here.”