The mouse game continued for another half hour before Jess finally ushered the poor creature into a jam jar and deposited it outside, where it swiftly disappeared into the undergrowth.
She’d lost track of time and when she realised it was 5.30 p.m. she took the twins upstairs for a bath. As usual, they monopolised her attention, but she hugged, kissed and stroked Leila’s hair continuously, if only to remind herself that she was real, and between embraces, Leila clung on tightly to Jess’s skirt and it was a comfort to them both.
The twins cavorted and splashed around in the warm water with their floating toys and Leila helped in such a way that suggested she had done this before. But, curiously, she had said very little since her arrival, and although Jess spoke to her constantly, her daughter responded mainly with a smile and a nod or shake of the head. She’d said the odd word to the twins while they were playing, but Jess couldn’t understand them and after a while, realised, with some sadness, that Leila probably understood and spoke Urdu better than English.
Bath time over, and with the twins in pyjamas, she sat them all down at the kitchen table and prepared a dinner of roast chicken and vegetables. Once their food had been chopped up for them, the twins were adept at using a spoon to feed themselves, but before she could do the same for Leila, she was greedily shovelling the food into her mouth with her right hand. It’s going to take time.
***
There having been no warning of Leila’s arrival, there had been no preparations nor any sleeping arrangements made. The twins slept in Jess’s room, in their own beds, as they’d done since they were born, and as she couldn’t allow Leila to be by herself, she decided that, at least for the time being, Leila would sleep with her in her bed. Jess thought it strange that in a house as big as Chalton Manor they should all share one room, but she would have it no other way.
Having put the twins to bed, she ran the bath again and, together in the bathroom, she tried to help Leila undress, the way she had always done before. But to her dismay, Leila resisted, and after a moment she left her alone, hovering outside the open door for fifteen minutes until she heard the water draining away. Jess went back in with a warm bath towel and as Leila stepped out of the bath, dropped to her knees and wrapped it around her, massaging her briskly. Leila giggled and squirmed, this time pleased at the attention.
“Turn round,” she said playfully, and when there was no reaction she smiled and twirled a finger in the air, whereupon Leila made a brief sound of recognition and spun one hundred and eighty degrees. Jess rubbed the towel over her shoulders and down her back. She gasped in shock.
Long, pale horizontal marks spanned the gap between her shoulder blades, several extending down her back and onto her buttocks. Jess clamped a hand over her mouth to stifle a cry, spun Leila round again and clasped her daughter to her chest, one hand behind her head pulling it into her neck. Leila clung on without making a sound, and Jess tightened her hold as her tears fell onto the bath towel she still gripped in her free hand. Tears of horror, tears of rage, tears of guilt, but also tears of joy that her beloved Leila was finally back with her, safe in her arms.
She held her for a few moments while she gathered her composure, released her hold and forced a smile through her tears. She swept Leila’s hair away from her eyes, rubbed her face and kissed her gently on the forehead.
“You’re safe now,” she whispered. She slipped one of her own tee shirts over Leila’s head. “Come on,” she said and led her into the bedroom by the hand.
The twins were oblivious to the world, exhausted by the exertions of the day, and they didn’t stir as Jess pulled back the covers for Leila to climb into bed. Jess drew the duvet up to her chin, leaned over and kissed her again, before walking around to the other side. She lay on the top of the bed next to her, fully clothed.
For the first time in five years Jess watched her daughter slowly drift off to sleep. She lay awake, unable to take her eyes off her, occasionally dabbing at a stray tear provoked by the myriad thoughts, memories and emotions that threatened to overwhelm her, and there she stayed until the sun rose again.
***
Despite her best intentions, Jess dozed off from time to time, waking randomly with a start, fearing it had all been a dream but then realising it was all for real.
When she climbed off the bed at six thirty the next morning, all three girls were still asleep, so she kissed each one of them on the head and slipped quietly into the shower, leaving the bathroom door open so she could see any movement. But there was none.
She dressed in jeans and tee shirt and went downstairs into the kitchen to make herself some tea. She was tired but also excited and nervous as to what the day would bring, and she sat alone at the kitchen table cradling her mug in both hands in contemplation. Leila had arrived with little more than the clothes she was wearing and a small canvas bag that contained a couple of tee shirts and some underwear. A shopping expedition would be necessary.
After a few moments, she heard a shuffling noise behind her and turned to see Leila, yawning and stretching, arms folded behind her head. “Mummy?” the little girl said quietly, and Jess rushed to her and hugged her again in joy.
“Hello, darling, did you have a nice sleep?” Leila looked at her blankly for a moment before nodding. “Come on, let’s go and get the little ones up,” she said, and hand in hand they went back upstairs to wake the twins.
***
Michael rang later that morning from his office to check everything was okay. Having spent most of the night awake, Jess’s mind had been running through all the questions she wanted to ask and she started firing them at him incoherently. He suggested they put a date in the diary to meet and promised to answer all her questions as best he could, as well as go through a few administrative matters. They agreed a date for the following week.
Emma called soon after. Jess explained that she would need to get Leila some new clothes and Emma insisted she drive over immediately and take them shopping in Oxford. Peter had driven them everywhere before, so Jess had never learnt to drive and didn’t have a licence. She now knew this was something she’d have to attend to if she was not to rely on others in future. Clothes bought and lunch eaten, Emma dropped them all back at the Manor at 3.00 p.m.
The girls ran upstairs with a bundle of shopping bags, squealing and shouting, and Jess, exhausted but happy, slumped down on a kitchen chair with a cup of tea. Another day almost over. She wondered how she would cope, yet knowing somehow she would.