16.
‘Now Jacob loved his youngest son Joseph; I suppose that was a natural thing since he was the son of his wife. In those days if the wife could not conceive the wife would allow the husband to sleep with the maid so he could have heirs.’ Satan just remained silent thinking for a few seconds before he went on ‘Now Joseph was obedient and gentle and very much unlike his brothers. So for me, it was easy to convince the brothers to do all kinds of awful things to Joseph. But Joseph just sucked it all up and forgave them every time.’
‘Why didn’t you give up on him then and turn on someone else?’
Satan shot a glare at Jonathan ‘Because Joseph was to play an important part in God’s plan, not the others. The others were already in my trap so what would have been the point? Focus man!’
Jonathan shivered.
‘When Joseph became of age I made the brothers sell Joseph into slavery. Joseph was in thrown into a pit.’ Satan cackled with utter evil.
‘That pit was vile. It was like a grave. Just think of being buried alive, well that pit was about the same. Bugs, insects and all things creepy crawling around endlessly. Joseph could scream for help but who would hear him, and he didn’t even bother to do that. He just waited! He knew God was going to rescue him.’
Jonathan rubbed his arms feeling the creepy crawlies rushing over him.
‘What I did not know was this was all God’s plan to have Joseph captured and put into slavery. I was so blazing mad when I discovered that.’ Satan slammed his hand down on the chair which made Jonathan leap in fright.
‘Joseph then gets sent to Egypt and works as a slave to Potiphar the pharaoh. I had fun and games there; those Egyptians were so gullible and easy. The best fun was with Potiphar’s wife. Watching her trying to coax Joseph into her bed was hilarious. She would’ve made a fantastic high-class hooker in today’s world, she was brilliant, and I know for a fact that no man could resist her; except Joseph of course.’ Satan growled.
Then he sighed a defeated sigh ‘After many years of Joseph being the “perfect man”’ Satan indicted the inverted commas in the air while being very sarcastic ‘Joseph became ruler over all of Egypt, only answerable to Pharaoh and what does the man go and do? He brings all of his family to him to live with him. He forgives them for all they did wrong to him – wow, that was a bitter pill to swallow – and Jacob (Israel) and the twelve descendants flourished for over four hundred years, and there was nothing I could do to wreck that no matter how hard I tried. But I’d abide my time once more.’
‘There had to be eventually a new Pharaoh and did I like this one. He was my servant; this was my chance to destroy the world of God’s servants. He hated the Israelites just as I did. He made them slaves again to the Egyptians. He made them do incredibly tough physical work like building the pyramids. Do you have any, any idea how heavy those huge stones were that they had to carry to build those things? I tell you, you could never imagine something like that era or what it was like to be an Israelite. I reigned supreme in those days; I thought I had finally ridden the earth of God’s dominance.’ Satan’s ugly fingers rubbed his forehead.
‘Yeah right! God had a plan. He was setting me up for a lark alright. The pharaoh was getting so mad, as was I that these Israelites were not dying off as a nation but, in fact, growing stronger. So I encourage his thoughts to have all the sons born killed by the midwives. But of course, I should’ve thought it through better and had the Egyptian woman be the midwives, they would’ve obeyed. The Israelite midwives feared God more than they feared the Pharaoh, so they simply disobeyed him. He was not happy. I planted the scheme for the Egyptian woman to drown the newborn sons.’ Satan laughed. ‘That was fun to watch.’
Jonathan cringed into his chair. The notion of throwing up was not far off.
‘But of course, God was one step ahead of me and what happened – Moses gets born, his mother hides him in the bulrushes and of all the women to find him, it had to be the kind and gentle daughter of Pharaoh. I couldn’t catch a break to destroy Gods' plan for mankind completely.’
‘Now when Moses grew up, he was a strong boy but also with a kind heart. He had a major flaw, though; he stuttered, and I thought well there was no ways God was planning on using this man to rescue his precious Israelites. I mean come on! A leader that stuttered, it was absurd. But you see God knew I would think this and I, of course, was not paying enough attention. I was too busy wrecking havoc anywhere I was able to.’
Jonathan reached for his glass of water and realized it was empty poured more into it. Satan watched him impatiently.
‘So I presume you know the story of Moses?’ Jonathan nodded finishing his gulp of water.
‘Yes, Moses the stutterer. He frees the Israelites from slavery after four hundred years. Those plagues that sent to Pharaoh were phenomenal, spectacular and fearsome. You’ve seen movies depicting these plagues have you not?’
‘Yes, a few.’
‘Well let me tell you, with all the cinematography you have in the world, with the greatest technology possibly you will never grasp the magnitude and ferociousness of them. And the sea that parted, now that was nothing short of absolute brilliance. It is in fact too great to describe, the height and strength of those walls of water that held up to allow over four million people; men, woman and children, plus all their belongings that included all their cattle and chickens and whatnot. I was in awe of such power but at the same time, it infuriated me so much I told Pharaoh to send his armies to the Israelites and to bring them back to Egypt. A lot that did hey! So the Israelites wandered through the wilderness on their way to the Promise Land of Canaan.’
Satan had taken a breath of imaginary air before he continued ‘You know people are so fickle. They so easily forget the miracle that God did for them and the favour He brought them. Never mind the love He had for them. I was rampant stirring up all kinds of discord amongst them. They complained. Of my word did they complain and moan. It was superb. It was brilliant to sit back and watch how easily bitter they became. And every time God appeased them they came round – until the next time. Moses, the poor man, made one little mistake – the only time I managed to get to him – and he hit the rock in anger. It was entertaining! God did not think so. God showed Moses all the land, but he died on the mountain and wasn’t allowed to enter the Promised Land. God made that generation wonder around the wilderness for forty years. I had pleasurable time there. But what I did not realize was that God was depleting that disobedient generation and that the new generation that was obedient to God’s commands would enter Canaan. Silly me right! So Aaron and Caleb take a whole nation into Canaan, and the fields are ready for harvesting, and it is glorious in its entire splendor. Oh yes, they flourished there for many years.’