Childhood Experiences Make Life by Dr Ram Lakhan Prasad - HTML preview

PREFACE

This collection of my life experiences is very dear to me and near to my heart and soul because I have been the protagonist of these created episodes. It begins with the Shadows of Childhood, dwells through the Shades of Youth to pass through the Excitements of Adulthood and to conclude with the peace and tranquillity of old-age narrated as Enjoyment of Life.

These episodes have taken me time and effort but I loved to dive into my past and reveal the importance of my life and living for posterity and for the library of family history. I have written many essays, poems, short stories and novels but this is my final presentation for my readers. I have not reached the end of my creativity and may find time and energy to come out of my temporary slumber.

There were many interesting junctions on the creative pathways of this short life, however, despite a few ups and downs and many enjoyments, all the times, events and periods as well as phases of my life were spent enthusiastically and with great devotion to God and honour to my life and living. I have been a family man and always wanted the best for my children who did their best to live up to my expectations.

The entire reminiscing events of my living are my deep and cautious experiences that have given me great pleasure, peace and perfection for all of these I am sincerely indebted to my ancestors, my faithful friends, my dedicated teachers and the Lord for everything that I have been able to measure, treasure and create.

The exciting and eventful journey through my childhood to adulthood was filled with many wonderful experiences that I feel proud about and love to narrate for my loved ones. I often fantasized about my own eventful, eventual and extensive journey of childhood life that has safely swam and sailed through my adolescence, youth and reached adulthood.

There were some exciting moments when I had bright stars shinning with joy in my eyes and then there were precious occasions that made me contemplate and appreciate the freedom I enjoyed during my childhood days all because of the ways I was raised by my extended family.

Now they all make me wonder about those great times that immensely differ from many of my current experiences. Some experiences have forced my development and growth that often were robbing my childhood experiences, however all have been noteworthy of mention because they all were my times of reckoning and realization.

There were many naïve childhood bubbles that often burst as they abruptly hurled head-first into my adulthood. All my life experiences provided me the ability to learn and grow or become sweet, sour, compliant, docile or stubborn, obstinate, unyielding and tough. The true definition of being an adult for me has many alternate meanings.

I was told about two paths in life- participate or quit. When faced with difficult moments, positions or experiences, I had the choice to square my shoulders and face the challenge or point fingers and run away by blaming the people, places and procedures. भाग लो या भाग लो.

My entire life did bring many expected as well as unexpected challenges and the difficult life experiences caused different emotional reactions in various ways. My life has been filled with copious experiences that could have either broken me or summoned massive personal growth into me. I am happy that I had learned to resist change very early in life and managed my overall growth whether smooth or more painful in the long run. As I said I was able to square my shoulders, roll up my sleeves and lean or dive into it.

I am glad that from the early days my mind began to view all life-hiccups as a challenge, more than a bitter cup from which to drink. When life challenges did come, my mind used to begin constructing a logical sequence of events that needed to happen; I accepted that what was done was done and now something positive was required to remedy the situation.

Even during my adult life I often recall the experience of one of my dear friends, Chu Queen. When faced with challenges, both big and small throughout her life, her father who owned a Chinese Restaurant in Lautoka would say, she could not change what is, she could only change her reaction to it. His favourite thing to tell her was, she could do it and like it or do it and be miserable; the choice was hers. I used to go to have my meals there frequently and her father would pour out his wisdom at times and once he said that the makings of a “real” adult comes with the ability to play the cards you have been dealt with.

Such incredible pieces of wisdom came to me through countless interactions with wise people around me and my attempts at life through trial and error. Being a frugal man, I too recognized the importance of not paying for something more than once. Grandpa always found ways to be happy in spite of dark times and he kept on telling me that suffering is optional, growth is eminent. So I refused to suffer and gradually learned to grow up with dignity and pride.

I am now convinced that the journey of obtaining the mark of a true adult was always filled with many opportunities for my balanced growth. I knew that growth can be wrought with pain, suffering and cold darkness. In contrast, growth can be filled with sweet, joyous and rewarding moments of positive growth. I too like once starry-eyed children wanted to come out of dark holes into brighter adulthood and I became confident to make all my experiences sweeter and rewarding.

Thus I was able to take full responsibility for my own life experiences by realizing and learning that we possess two pockets, one filled with sugar, and one filled with salt. I was determined that the flavour of my life had to be well brewed lemonade, and it all was squarely in my hands. I knew that some people preferred their drinks to be bitter; I preferred my lemonade to be sweet.

Throughout my childhood, my people frequently asked me, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” At the age of 5, the common answer I gave my grandmother was, “I want to be a teacher.” After years of reading various scripture to my grandparents and parents I knew the value of teaching when great Hindi poets such as Kabir, Rahim, Surdas, Tulsidas, Chanakya and Vyaas.They were great teachers and I wanted to follow their pathways.

The exciting and eventful journey through my childhood to adulthood was filled with many wonderful experiences that I feel proud about and love to narrate for my loved ones. I often fantasized about my own eventful, eventual and extensive journey of childhood life that has safely swam and sailed through my adolescence, youth and reached adulthood.

There were some exciting moments when I had bright stars shinning with joy in my eyes and then there were precious occasions that made me contemplate and appreciate the freedom I enjoyed during my childhood days all because of the ways I was raised by my extended family.

Now they all make me wonder about those great times that immensely differ from many of my current experiences. Some experiences have forced my development and growth that often were robbing my childhood experiences, however all have been noteworthy of mention because they all were my times of reckoning and realization.

There were many naïve childhood bubbles that often burst as they abruptly hurled head-first into my adulthood. All my life experiences provided me the ability to learn and grow or become sweet, sour, compliant, docile or stubborn, obstinate, unyielding and tough. The true definition of being an adult for me has many alternate meanings.

I was told about two paths in life- participate or quit. When faced with difficult moments, positions or experiences, I had the choice to square my shoulders and face the challenge or point fingers and run away by blaming the people, places and procedures. भाग लो या भाग लो.

My entire life did bring many expected as well as unexpected challenges and the difficult life experiences caused different emotional reactions in various ways. My life has been filled with copious experiences that could have either broken me or summoned massive personal growth into me. I am happy that I had learned to resist change very early in life and managed my overall growth whether smooth or more painful in the long run. As I said I was able to square my shoulders, roll up my sleeves and lean or dive into it.

I am glad that from the early days my mind began to view all life-hiccups as a challenge, more than a bitter cup from which to drink. When life challenges did come, my mind used to begin constructing a logical sequence of events that needed to happen; I accepted that what was done was done and now something positive was required to remedy the situation.

Even during my adult life I often recall the experience of one of my dear friends, Chu Queen. When faced with challenges, both big and small throughout her life, her father who owned a Chinese Restaurant in Lautoka would say, she could not change what is, she could only change her reaction to it. His favourite thing to tell her was, she could do it and like it or do it and be miserable; the choice was hers. I used to go to have my meals there frequently and her father would pour out his wisdom at times and once he said that the makings of a “real” adult comes with the ability to play the cards you have been dealt with.

Such incredible pieces of wisdom came to me through countless interactions with wise people around me and my attempts at life through trial and error. Being a frugal man, I too recognized the importance of not paying for something more than once. Grandpa always found ways to be happy in spite of dark times and he kept on telling me that suffering is optional, growth is eminent. So I refused to suffer and gradually learned to grow up with dignity and pride.

I am now convinced that the journey of obtaining the mark of a true adult was always filled with many opportunities for my balanced growth. I knew that growth can be wrought with pain, suffering and cold darkness. In contrast, growth can be filled with sweet, joyous and rewarding moments of positive growth. I too like once starry-eyed children wanted to come out of dark holes into brighter adulthood and I became confident to make all my experiences sweeter and rewarding.

Thus I was able to take full responsibility for my own life experiences by realizing and learning that we possess two pockets, one filled with sugar, and one filled with salt. I was determined that the flavour of my life had to be well brewed lemonade, and it all was squarely in my hands. I knew that some people preferred their drinks to be bitter; I preferred my lemonade to be sweet.

Throughout my childhood, my people frequently asked me, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” At the age of 5, the common answer I gave my grandmother was, “I want to be a teacher.” After years of reading various scripture to my grandparents and parents I knew the value of teaching when great Hindi poets such as Kabir, Rahim, Surdas, Tulsidas, Chanakya and Vyaas.They were great teachers and I wanted to follow their pathways.

By the time I turned 16, I wanted to be a movie star. When I realized halfway through my high school class’s dress rehearsal of The Merchant of Venice that my acting was pitiful, it became clear that it wasn’t for me. I began to search for other opportunities and eventually found myself working towards building my teaching skills by being a tutor for primary school kids of my village. The value of teaching others became close to my heart as I grew older. Even at the age of 20 when I graduated from College, I knew that although the future was unpredictable, that so many things may change, but I will try to stay true to what I believe was my calling.

Nevertheless, I did know that my short-term goal was to attend college. Growing up in those days was gradual and as my parents and the vast majority of my extended family never had the opportunities for education that I was having I decided to do my best to educate and enlighten myself. By attending college, I was the first in my family to do so. It provided me with the resources I needed to achieve my goals and move on in life.

On British Council aid I was also able to complete my Diploma in Accounting and Education from University of London when I began teaching in a rural area school of Fiji in 1960. This was the time I read ‘To Kill A Mocking Bird’ and many other classic novels written by British authors. I wanted to be ready to answer such questions of my children: “What was the world like when you were a child?”, “What events happened that impressed you most when you were a child?” or “How interesting was your childhood experience?”

I then realized that everybody must have had their childhood experiences and some of the experiences may have caused them to smile, or even laugh, while some of them may have brought back bitter memories. It was always hard to express the childhood incidents or experience in a clear and interesting way, since they were past memories that happened long time ago. Moreover, when a person has grown up, they will never have the same feeling which they might have in their childhood.

However, I could read and realize that if the authors such as Harper Lee and Mark Twain could express their own childhood inside the stories they created, in a lively and realistic way I could at least make a small start. The two novels To Kill a Mockingbird and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer have a very similar characteristic, I found out. It is the way they describe a person's childhood experience, and their feelings and new knowledge that come out from those experiences. This characteristic, however, had given me a big revelation after reading the two novels.

The novels show that the childhood experience of a person has a great positive influence on his personality, behaviour, and ways on dealing with others. This idea has been shown by the authors in both novels. From the novel To Kill a Mockingbird, one could discover that innocent behaviour and misunderstanding can lead a child to view a person or thing incorrectly and incompletely. This behaviour can also lead a child to a wrong perspective. In the first part of To Kill a Mockingbird, the main characters Scout, Jem, and Dill thought that the Radley family and their member, Boo Radley, as strange and unnatural human beings.

Child company experience is one of the sweetest experiences. We all have some child company experience. They play in your lap. Frequently they laugh, frequently they weep. When they touch your face with their soft little hands you feel a deep feeling of love and affection. Have you ever watched them! How do they behave! By God’s grace I always have had chances to be with small children of my own and those that I taught. I watched them closely and what I felt I am able to express them categorically now.

First thing, if you are a stranger, most children would prefer to keep away from you. They watch your activities closely, whether it suits them or not. When convinced about you they join you. When you hold your own children in your hands and kiss them with affection the feeling is divine. They see the world on sitting your shoulder. I was always aware if my children urinated on me without signal. There were many times when my new and well-worn clothing and the parts of me were spoilt by my children but I did not throw the clothes away or got rid of the body parts that were spoilt. I enjoyed the experience and took pleasure in cleaning them.

My children loved to play with balls and deep multi colours attracted them so I played with them and gave those appropriate toys and clothing to them. They were easily attracted to those. The other things they were easily attracted to were birds and butterflies. This made me go back to my childhood and feel the joy of running after the birds and butterflies. The other activities that my children liked were singing, twittering and of course flying kites and I became a child myself to blend with their enjoyment.

They used to run after the birds and butterflies to catch them and I used to love watching them do all those. No matter they fail, fall or stumble but they kept trying every time. This was not only their inspiration but my bundle of joy. When my kids imitated the sounds of birds and cars I remembered my childhood more.

When my kids enjoyed with the balloons and played with them with excitement I became a child myself and joined them. Toys were the best friends of my kids but the difference was that I had to buy their toys and my toys were either made by my parents or self-made ones.

Finally my best participation with the children behaviour was when I used to hear two small kids talking to each other. This was always a great hearing and I longed to become a kid and talk to another in that child language but alas all these were no possible now.

Adieu childhood and welcome adulthood.

 

 

18 January,2019

 

FOREWORD

Reading this manuscript was not only a pleasure for me but it brought back a lot of my own childhood memories to me. This is a very detailed presentation of Shadows of Childhood of a person I have known from my childhood. We were working on the farm together, I as a helper of the family and he as the eldest treasure of the Prasad Family. We did a lot of those things together that Dr Ram Lakhan Prasad has so aptly narrated in his essay. My son has helped me to write this Foreword for my dear friend and my role model.

When he talks about Radhika as his nanny I was moved with the story that he wrote about her in his book Attachment. Incidentally Radhika was my sister who was an asset of our family but sadly passed away in 2015 at the age of 85.

I am now almost eighty as well and still have my family farm where my children work and I enjoy their company. I too lost my wife some eight years ago and now I spend most of my time reading the scriptures and listening to bhajans and kirtans to keep my soul alive within me to be worthy of living a few more years.

I wish Dr Prasad all the best in life and hope to read more of his publications. He is a great writer but I too have been a good farmer and a faithful friend.

I was very happy to respond to his request to write this foreword because he was my lagotiya yaar, childhood friend of great value and interest. I am proud of his success and contributions.

 

Sat Narayan – Sattu for Barkana.

INTRODUCTION

 

As my 18th birthday was rapidly approaching on December 27th 1957, I thought reflecting on a few important things that I had experienced, learned and took part in throughout my childhood life. Of course, I had to call on some of my childhood friends who were with me at Natabua High School and on my farm to help me. I am glad and proud that Sat Narayan my childhood friend agreed to write the Foreword for me but sadly he passed away shortly after making his contribution.

People may underestimate you because of your age, built and conduct however, I learned to shut out the voices of those who doubted my ability so that I could keep my eyes, ears and mind on my goals. During my childhood and the entire life I sometimes realized that a lot of things did not move and progress the way I wanted them to however, those bumps in my living did not mean that I should just give up, instead I resolved that I must try to assess what is going on in life and then make an effort to adjust, fix and reconstruct them as best as if I can.

I found that trying something new in my early life was somewhat scary and looked cumbersome and when I gave it a second look it all became possible and manageable. Resting and relaxing times should not last forever and while enjoying every single season of our life to the fullest we must wake up before we begin to rust, I felt. When our eyes are opened to all aspects of the current complexities, competitions as well as the justice and injustice around us, we must always speak up and be a voice to reckon with. It is criminal to just comply with injustice and many of the status quo in our life. When there were needs and occasions I rose and complained and took part in the revolution of life and just living or alternatively I abstained.

It did not matter for me as to what happened to or for me the day, week or month or even year before so I made a definite effort to restart each day with a new, determined and brighter outlook on life. Sooner than later I learnt to let go of people in my life that were not really good, honest and helpful for and to me. I found that often this was somewhat painful to do however, it turned out to be a worthy action in the end because I became a better and wiser human being.

My childhood development and growing up never let me feel guilty about just letting myself loose and having fun every now and then. Very early in life I assessed that worrying unnecessarily would never change and improve the situation because if things were in my control to change the situation then I was able to do so by all means remembering well that if I could not change them then I should never sweat over those aspects.

I often recited that great prayer of life many times in my life to keep me moving ahead with ease and serenity and this made me a better person.

 

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference”

 

       It is a fact of life that acquiring the things we want in life may be hard at first. I soon learnt and understood that the best things in life always came to me with a hard fight and perseverance. My parents and grandparents were always right during my growing up. I found out that disagreeing with them only made them more right and me a lot more wrong, sadly. This became the best learning point of my childhood and I progressed and prospered consequently.

I soon realized that owning up to my silly actions and apologizing was hard to do, however, it was simply a part of good growing up. I knew often that I could not change what had happened to me in the past and knew that I could always change my present. I was always willing and sure to tell all those that I loved, just how much they meant to me and how much I depended on their support, love and care. My family became my treasure of life.

I knew for sure what was in my inside and that it was by far a lot more important than what was on the outside. I often stopped and appreciated the small things in my life because I came to realize that they might not be there forever. Change for me became a coinstant thing and I never denied any changes that made me grow well.

Wise teachers always told me that a little bit of fun and game was always necessary in life and my elders agreed with this as well. It was a lot better feeling to live the life I loved and love the life I lived. I promoted and preached this aspect of living to all my loved ones.

My days at home, school and around the village became excellent ground of learning, earning and teaching and they were these places, processes and people in these environments that taught me to give more and take only whatever was essential for me in life. This simple ethics made me to go forth and serve my family and the people who asked me for service. I always felt strongly that I had a lot to give back to my parents, teachers and all those who assisted me in any way. Thus ‘giving’ became a way of life for me and in the end this made me a richer person in all respects.

If I had saved much then I tried to give of my wealth but whenever I had little I gave of my heart lavishly. The meaning of life for me became to find my gift from God and the purpose of my life became to give it away freely. So I felt that the greatest gift I could give my loved ones was my time because when I gave my time I was giving a portion of my life to them without expecting any rewards.

 

 

 

 

“You have the right to work, but never to the fruit of work. You should never engage in action for the sake of reward, nor should you long for inaction.”

Lord Krishna in Bhagavad Gita

 

 

“Whenever dharma declines and the purpose of life is forgotten, I manifest myself on earth. I am born in every age to protect the good, to destroy evil, and to reestablish dharma.”

Lord Krishna in Bhagvad Gita

 

 

 

 

MY CHILDHOOD

 

My childhood was full of shadows

Bright, blue and brilliant shadows

On the winds of the silent valley

Many memories that sang so gaily

My childhood has gone and not forgotten

I remember all that is good and not the rotten

Life was calm, cool and comfortable

Nothing to worry, only care with no timetable

Family life full of love and comfort

Grandparents and parents gave all the support

Love to learn, look and listen to grow

Worries and anxieties nothing to show

Farm of fruit, vegies and healthy tree

Cows, goats, horses and chicks running free

Time to enjoy all morning and evening

Life full of joy with no grieving

That was my childhood full of fun

Eating and drinking well no work to be done

Born on the farm full of crops

Lot of water, good land with some rocks

Lot to learn from every one

No more childhood cos it has gone

I want to fly back but I cannot

My heart longs to find that report

So let me write and reveal

The entire good thing that is real.

 

Our earliest childhood memories start from the age of two ; far earlier than previously thought. Scientists have found the area of the brain responsible for memories can be triggered before toddlers even learn to walk and speak. We experience thousands of events across childhood and yet as adults we recall only a handful. Some might be “firsts” (our first ice cream, our first day at school), or significant life events (the birth of a sibling, moving house). Others are surprisingly trivial however, they all remain ingrained in the background to give us needed inspiration whenever we need it.

So, to narrate what my early childhood memories are I have decided to do the show and tell process. They reflected my early skill for remembering things, many of my interests and my individual experiences. I have begun to see my childhood memories as if a video camera captured the images and recorded the events of my life accurately and without bias.

Like any other, my childhood memories were intricately shaped by my family and the culture I grew up in. In the narration it can be seen that the shadows of my childhood have impacted upon and reflected upon my adolescence, youth and middle-age and are now assisting me respond appropriately and adequately to my old age which is a period of slowing down but full reflection.

 

 

 

“The meaning of Karma is in the intention. The intention behind action is what matters. Those who are motivated only by desire for the fruits of action are miserable, for they are constantly anxious about the results of what they do.” Lord Krishna in Bhagavad Gita.

 

 

 

Shadows of Childhood

I am reaching my eightieth birthday soon and after listening to various songs about childhood memories and reading the poem of Thomas Hood I could not resist the temptation to dig into my childhood a