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COMMUNICATE
“BE CLEAR”
Clear and precise communication is essential for systems, particularly complex modern systems, to function optimally. Use the following guidelines to assist you in becoming an effective communicator:
- USE YOUR WORDS. Do not make noises such as hissing, clicking, whistling or clapping to communicate. Instead, attract the attention of a fellow citizen by a polite gesture such as raising your hand or gently waving, or, better yet, approach the person with whom you want to speak. Upon approaching, say 'Excuse me' then communicate using your words. Use gestures and facial expressions to assist your words, not as replacements for them. For example, at a restaurant do not hiss at the wait staff to get their attention. Instead raise your hand. When a waiter or waitress approaches, don't point at an item on the menu— read it out to them (remember to use the 'Please-Thank You' brackets). While reading it out to your waiter or waitress, you may point (gesture) at the item on the menu.
- BE PRECISE. Always use precise words and phrases as opposed to general words and phrases such as 'over here', 'over there', 'that way', 'this way' etc. For example, if a fellow citizen asks you for directions, answer along the lines of, “Walk straight for another three hundred metres until you come to a roundabout, which is just in front of a large department store called Opel. At this roundabout, take a left onto Ward Place. Then walk another four hundred metres and take what will be the third right turn…”
- SUM UP. After you make your point, in the briefest possible way, restate it.
- CONFIRM. After you make your point and sum up, confirm this by politely asking whether your fellow citizen or audience has understood you.
- DO NOT TALK OVER FELLOW CITIZENS. Make your point then listen silently and carefully whilst your fellow citizen replies or makes his or her point. Do not interrupt a fellow citizen whilst they are speaking.
“BE DIRECT”
- SAY WHAT YOU MEAN, MEAN WHAT YOU SAY. If you want to ask for something—ask for it. If you are asked a question—answer honestly. Do not talk around your point, hint, use double-meanings, be purposefully vague or use any other such indirect means. Get straight to your point, and make it clearly.
- CLARIFY. If you did not understand what someone has just tried to say to you, make this clear to them. Do not say, or act as though, you have understood them, when you have not.
- DISAGREE POLITELY. If you honestly disagree with someone, do not lead them to believe that you agree and are going to act accordingly. Instead, politely state that you disagree and your grounds for doing so.
- DO NOT TALK BEHIND A FELLOW CITIZEN'S BACK. If you have a negative opinion about a particular fellow citizen, do not share this with other fellow citizens or attempt to convince them of this position. Let your fellow citizens make up their own minds. If your negative opinion of a fellow citizen makes it difficult or impossible to continue a necessary relationship with him or her, then communicate your negative opinion and your reasons for holding it to that citizen, and that citizen only. Provide him or her with an opportunity to explain and/or defend themselves.
“BE SENSITIVE”
- BE DIRECT, SENSITIVELY. Whilst it is important to be direct in formal communication such as in work-related matters, if it is personal to a fellow citizen, follow this guideline: If you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all. Do not make any of the following comments or ask any of the following questions:
- That a fellow citizen is too fat.
- That a fellow citizen is too thin.
- That a fellow citizen has put on weight.
- That a fellow citizen has lost weight in an unattractive manner.
- That a fellow citizen looks old or is getting old.
- That a fellow citizen looks sick.
- That a fellow citizen’s job or profession is in some way inferior.
- That you disapprove of a fellow citizen’s clothes or appearance.
- A fellow citizen’s weight.
- A fellow citizen’s age.
- Whether a fellow citizen has a medical condition.
- About a fellow citizen’s disability or deformity.
- About a fellow citizen’s sexual orientation.
- Why a fellow citizen has not had children yet.
- If a fellow citizen can have children.
- Why a fellow citizen is not married yet.
- Whether a fellow citizen is divorced.
- Why a fellow citizen got divorced.
- Why a fellow citizen is unemployed.
- How much a fellow citizen earns.
- About a family problem that a fellow citizen had or does have.
- About a relationship problem that a fellow citizen had or does have.
- MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. Even if none of what you are inquiring about relates to the personal matters mentioned above, do not poke your nose into the personal lives of fellow citizens. This includes giving advice that is not asked for.
- RESPECT PRIVACY. If someone tells something private of theirs to you and asks you not to tell it to anyone else—honour this. When a fellow citizen asks this of you, he or she is said to have told you something in confidence. Do not repeat or imply anything said to you in confidence.
“BE POLITE”
- DO NOT SPREAD OR BELIEVE RUMOURS. Do not talk about those things which are not facts as though they are facts. And even if they are facts, and are only known to you, do not talk about them if they are regarding the private matters of fellow citizens or could damage their reputations. Similarly, be careful to separate what you hear into facts and those things made to sound as though they are facts.
- DO NOT EAVESDROP. Eavesdropping is listening into conversations which you are not a part of. Do not do this.
- DO NOT POINT. When you are conversing with someone and refer to another party, do not point at this other party. Instead, refer to them by name. If their name is unknown, say for instance if they are a fellow citizen at quite a distance from you, describe them to your conversational partner.
- DO NOT PASS SECRETS IN PUBLIC. Do not whisper into the ears of friends in front of fellow citizens. Even if what you are whispering has nothing to do with the fellow citizen or citizens in front of you, do not do this.
- LISTEN QUIETLY. Do not talk to those around you in any of the following situations, instead listen attentively:
- When you are attending a meeting.
- When you are attending a ceremony.
- When you are in a class.
- When a fellow citizen is giving a speech.
- When an announcement is being made.
- SPEAK IN A COMMON LANGUAGE. Try, where you are able, to speak in a language that all fellow citizens in your group can understand. Do not speak to one fellow citizen about another in a language that the subject cannot understand.
- CHEW BEFORE YOU TALK. Do not talk with food in your mouth. Chew, swallow and then talk.
- RAISE YOUR HAND. When you are part of a group that has been requested to ask or answer a question, raise your hand and wait to be selected before asking or answering the question. Doing otherwise is known as speaking/asking/answering out-of-turn. Do not do this.
- ASK. When you want to use a commonly shared resource such as a seat at a table in a food hall, ask fellow citizens appearing to be using the resource whether it is already taken.
“MIND PHONE MANNERS”
- DO NOT TALK OR TEXT WHEN IT DISTURBS. Do not talk or text on your mobile phone in any of the following situations:
- While you are at a meeting.
- While you are in the middle of a conversation.
- While you are at the cinema (here texting on silent mode is fine).
- IF YOU HAVE TO, EXCUSE YOURSELF AND/OR LEAVE. If you are sure it is urgent and you are in a meeting or in the middle of a conversation, firstly excuse yourself. Step out of a meeting room or a cinema hall so that you are comfortably out of audible range before you start to talk on your phone.
- GREET. When you make a call, greet the person whom you are calling by name and introduce yourself. For example, ‘Hi, good morning Sahib, Wimarshaná here.’
- KNOW. Do not ask who is on the other line—you should know this. Exceptions to this can be made in the following situations:
- You are calling an organisation and wish to know the name of the representative of this organisation as a point of reference for future communication.
- You are returning a missed call from an unknown number.
- DO NOT SUDDENLY END THE CALL. Sign-off by wishing the person appropriately. For example, ‘…ok then. Thanks Sahib. Good evening.’
- TALK TO ONE PERSON AT A TIME. Whilst in the middle of a call, do not carry on another conversation or conversations with those around you.
- TAKE NOTES. If it is a formal call, and often even if it is not, it is always handy to keep a pen and paper with you to take down information.
- KEEP INFO HANDY. Before a formal call, keep information that you think might be necessary close at hand. For instance, if you are calling your telephone provider, keep the document with your account details ready at your fingertips before making the call.
- INFORM. If you have to momentarily leave the phone conversation, inform the person on the other side, do not simply fall silent. For example, ‘Sahib, give me a second…’
- MANAGE NOISE. As far as possible, where it is under your control, quieten any loud sounds in your surroundings that may disturb your phone conversation.
