Desired Traits in Mate Selection: A Survey of Hispanic American College Students
Sharaf Rehman
Abstract
Previous research on mate selection has primarily focused on long-term relationships, i.e. spouse selection. Literature suggests that factors and traits playing significant role in choosing a short-term partner have been mostly overlooked in mate-selection research. The present study, with a sample of 195 Hispanic-American college students, attempts to determine if there are significant differences in reported preferences when looking for short-term partner versus when looking for a long-term partner. The subjects individually ranked their preferences for short-term partners from a list of traits generated by previous research. The subjects were then put into groups consisting of five same-sex members in each group. Group members discuss their preferences among themselves and generate a list of desirable traits in a long-term partner. This paper reports the findings of the survey in two specific categories. It separates the desired traits for short-term and long-term partners, and it presents the differences in responses by males and females. The paper also reports on the differences based on relational status, i.e., single, in a relationship, or married.
Keywords: Mate Selection, Courtship & Culture, Marriage, Interpersonal Relationships.
Introduction
In the days of cave dwellers, the males sought females with physical features best suited for child bearing and child rearing. Females looked for males that showed a promise for protecting the offspring and a willingness to teach the children to fish, hunt, and become self-reliant. Biological characteristics were the basis for mate selection. It was simple and based on practical concerns. With the emergence of social systems and religions, the societies shifted the natural mate selection process to fit new criteria established and enforced by social structures and organized religions. Old requirements of physical ability, endurance, and strength were replaced by values rooted in social status, wealth, political standing, and beauty. In almost all culture, concept of family (soon to become a social institution) became closely woven into the institution of marriage – an institution that reinforced the church and religious values.
Mate Selection Models
From the primitive methods of the cave dwellers to present day speed dating, numerous mate selection theories and models have emerged. A brief description of some of the significant theories is presented here.
According to evolutionary psychologists and Natural Selection theorists, females were drawn to males that could provide for the family and teach the offspring to fish, hunt, and become self-reliant. Males sought females that seemed healthy enough for having, caring for, and raising the children (Buss & Kenrick, 1998; Looy, 2001).
Social Homogamy theory suggests that man and women are attracted to people from similar social and cultural backgrounds, i.e., people tend to marry within their own race, religion, socio- economic group and apply similar standards of beauty.
Ideal Mate theory claims that people have an unconscious image of an ideal mate and as soon as one comes across a person that fits one’s ideal one feels a strong attraction. Love at first sight can often be explained through the ideal mate theory. This theory also asserts that since most people use their parents as role models, people tend to choose partners that come close to their own parents. Hence, men marry women that remind them of their mothers and women seek men that remind them of their fathers. Both behaviors, respectively known as Oedipus complex and Medea complex are demonstrations of Ideal Mate theory at work.
Social Exchange theory asserts that since people are capable of falling in love with different people, most people look for a person who would make an equal contribution towards tangible and intangible rewards in a long-term association. Both parties are expected to bring equal amounts to the table (Sprecher, 1998).
Developmental theory holds that people try different courtships and the one that seems to fit a couple’s needs the best has the best chance of succeeding.
Feminist theory states that marriages between older and more established men and younger women occur for two reasons. Firstly, older men have greater resources, are better able to provide financial security, and a better life style for their younger wives. Secondly, men with traditional patriarchal values find it easier to maintain a dominant status with younger women that have fewer resources (Eagly & Wood, 1999; Eagly, Wood & Johannesen-Schmidt, 2004).
Market Experience theory compares mate selection to an open market situation where buyers and sellers look for the best bargains by comparing costs and benefits of all available alternatives. Applied to mate selection, market experience is the dating practice where individuals learn about potential mates through first-hand experience before making their long-term partner selection.
Free-Choice Mate Selection theory holds that attraction is the strongest factor in relationship formation. The first stage in the formation of a relationship is attraction. If a person A is not attracted to person B, not much more is likely to develop. When people are attracted to each other, they pursue a relationship; they may fall in love; they may get married (Kauth 2000).
Like-Attracts-Like Selection. Not unlike social homogamy, this theory proposes that people from similar socio-economic status, raised in the same neighborhoods (physical proximity) are more like to meet, interact, date, and eventually create marital bonds