The Secret of Successful Learning by Maria Monalisa Victorio Handoko - HTML preview

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The previous chapter had explained the idea for building self esteem of a student in accordance to our role. But implementing those ideas in our daily life is another story. Below is a guideline for each role to successfully implement and build the student’s self esteem

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Using the stages of moral reasoning table, to raise your child’s self-esteem:

1. Locate where your child is on this table by seeing the age and descriptions of their behavior

2. Link their behavior so far with the one descripted on the table. Is their bad behavior justified by what each stage think is the right thing to do?

For example:

a) Stage 0 Problems:

Due to the “I should get my own way” mentality.

  • Being selfish: Not willing to share their toys or food
  • Rude to other children: Playing too rough
  • Temper tantrums: because he/ she did not get what they originally wanted

Focus children on being kind to others, saying “please” and “thank you,” showing empathy, moving towards team work, and taking care of things. (parentteachersupport.org)

b) Stage 1 Problems:

Due to the “I should do what I’m told” mentality.

  • Pretending not to hear you
  • Lying
  • Having a Rolling their eyes

Set standards for acceptable behavior and provide reasons why a behavior is appropriate or inappropriate (inductive method of discipline). Avoid saying, “Don’t let me catch you doing that again.” That will translate into becoming sneaky or lying. Teach that lying is wrong because it breaks trust and, therefore, weakens relationships. (parentteachersupport.org

c) Stage 2 Problems

Due to the child looking out for themselves and thinking “what’s in it for me?”

  • Self centered
  • Laziness
  • Always wants to be the first

Appeal to love instead of fairness as a motivation. Practice kind, caring actions beyond the family. Exact responsibility for actions. Using the inductive method of discipline (explaining  reason behind rules) promotes empathy, compassion, and cooperation. (parentteachersupport.org)

d) Stage 3 Problems

Due to the feeling of wanting to fit in.

  • Bullying
  • Sex, alcohol, drugs
  • Harmful dieting

Help your child to establish an individual identity within the family. Foster positive self-concept. Don’t make comparisons to others. Strive to decrease parental control and increase child independence and self-reliance. Strengthen family life and responsibility to family, and display affection.

(parentteachersupport.org)

e) Stage 4 Problems

Due to the responsibility to the system

  • Forget people who really matters to them
  • A chance that might be overly attached to the system (fanatic)

Encourage independent conscience based on self-respect and social responsibility. Develop a sense of the common good. Foster initiative and industry with emphasis on service to the human family. Openly discuss ethical issues, controversial topics, and moral dilemmas. (parentteachersupport.org)

Becoming a good Mirror

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Here are a few things to check on yourself throughout the day to become a good role model for your child 1) Being Positive

a) Have I said one positive thing about myself?

b) Have I said one positive thing about my child?

c) Did I hug my child today?

d) Have I appreciate my child for the improvements that he/ she has made?

e) Have I said I love you?

f) Have I reprimanded my child in a constructive way?

g) Have I set expectations for my child and boundaries that we both agree on?

2) Forgiving yourself

a) Have I fulfilled my duties as a working parent?

b) Have I explained to my children about my work?

c) Do I involve my child in family decisions?

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Building a good relationship between your students require time, effort, and sincerity and it is key for successful  learning. To achieve that we must be aware of our actions and reflect these questions below daily.

1. Have I given compliments to my student that have made progress today?

2. Am I giving constructive input to my students that need help?

3. Have I spent time to have an enjoyable conversation with my students?

4. Did I acknowledge my mistake and apologise to the class?

5. Do I select positive vocabulary when I speak with my students?

6. Have I encouraged my students by showing them that they have potential?

7. Have I dug out the positive strength that every student posses?

8. Have I challenge my students today?

9. Have I acknowledge every student for who they are instead of just labelling them?

10. Have I made my students believe in themselves?

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The ideas in Chapter three gave rough guideline to being a positive person. Here are a few questions you can ask yourself  everyday in order for you to reflect on your actions and direct you to become a positive person.

1. Have I tried new things?

2. Do I acknowledge that I am different from other people therefore cannot be compared with others?

3. Do I invest in myself by spending “me” time (exercising, reading books, watching useful videos, eat healthy foods, etc)

4. Have I said at least three positive things about myself today?

5. Am I kind towards others?

6. Do I accept the compliments that other people give to me?

7. Have I helped others today?

8. Have I taken full credit for the actions I took, ideas I came up with, and opinions?

9. Have I taken full responsibility for my actions?

10. Do I have set goals and targets?