CHAPTER NINE
Something Considered
It was hard to leave her in the mornings. Really hard.
Ruefully I looked down at my morning erection. Silently I debated for a moment, but then I ended it.
I had to stop being so late to show up at work. I may be the boss, but that shouldn’t matter.
Reaching down I tucked the blanket to slide gently over top of her one breast that had slipped free of cover. She stirred slightly, but remained asleep.
Holding my hand out over her I softly prayed, “Please God, watch over her today and keep her safe. I saw her reading Your Words last night and I about screamed for joy. Thank You for answering my prayer! I pray that You would only continue to work in her life and help her find her way to You. In the name of Jesus, I commit her to Your keeping this day.” I left the bed then and got ready for the day.
I was out of the house and as always I quietly took in the morning surroundings. I lived with a constant dread day in and day out in concern to Arwana.
Clancy Tarbuck, the man I had beaten to a pulp in Arwana’s cabin was like a lot of other timber jacks in one respect. He had never learned to write. He hadn’t written the message left in her bedroom.
The only way I ever managed to pull myself away from the house in the morning was if I had an affirmation in the Spirit that it was safe to do so, when I didn’t have that affirmation I stayed home and made up some excuse and only later on left for work after she’d left for school.
Before I did that though I would follow along far behind to make sure she got to the school house safely. Those days I also paid a few individuals I trusted to keep a close eye on the schoolhouse.
In the process of trying to sleuth through who might be behind the note I had narrowed a list of potential suspects down to three men. That was where the good news ended.
All three were the worst of the lot and there was a chance not one, but more than one could be involved in the plot. Whether they were in it together or it was just one of them it was hard to say.
It was everything I had not to put a bullet in each of them just to eliminate the threat they posed to Arwana or humanity in general for that matter. Affirmation in place I got in my truck and left.
Affirmation or not it required faith to believe that I wasn’t crazy and that Arwana was really safe. That said I was so grateful not to be like other supposed normal people that never took the time or effort to have a personal relationship with their Creator.
For me nothing else was more important in life, not even Arwana. That was why in the end, I could leave trusting God would keep His word. It wasn’t easy though.
Sometimes it seemed it would be better to be more ignorant of what was going on spiritually all around, but that was quickly done away with by just one conversation or word with the Almighty. To them who much is given, much is also required.
*********
Arwana’s Perspective
Arwana sat up and tossed her hair back over her shoulders. Mournfully she felt at the empty spot on the bed beside her.
Weekdays were the pits. Saturdays were awesome!
Without fail his internal alarm clock had him awake and out the door, but during the weekend it got shut off and she usually woke up first. With delight, she always warred over which way to wake him, her mouth full of Haynes or the act of her sliding down onto Haynes.
The latter was the best for him as he always awoke with a start only to find himself buried to the hilt in her and be at a complete loss for a moment as to what to do, only to then obligingly accept the breast that she would extend to him to suckle. While that may be his favorite way to wake up hers was the act of filling her nose with the scent of his musky odor and taking Haynes into her mouth and playing with him until he exploded.
She couldn’t explain it. She simply loved her husband’s cock and when she got to start out a day with a belly full of her husband’s seed it was like the best energy supplement or aphrodisiac a girl could ask for.
But that was the weekend and today was Monday. Sighing, she got out of bed and headed for the shower.
Washing away, she got the shower done and over with and started to dry her hair. Smiling to herself, she turned and glanced at her bottom in the mirror half expecting to see a bruise, but there were none.
He’d taken her up on her suggestion from Friday and spanked her again last night. He’d done it right at the point of orgasm and it had made her eyes cross with the pleasure she had received. Being with him was wild!
It had never been like this. Her greatest regret was that she had a past she was able to remember before the advent of him.
He didn’t seem to care about it, but she did. There was no going back and fixing that though.
Moving forward was what she had to do and with that in mind she turned away from the mirror. Abruptly she stopped as a thought dropped into her memory suddenly.
There was one thing she had never done with a man before. One thing she’d always steered far and wide from.
Steve had always begged her to let him do it, but she had denied him every time. Reaching behind her with her hands and glancing back into the mirror, she pulled the cheeks of her bottom apart.
Biting her lip, she stared at the tightly crinkled entrance of her bottom, poised just above her vagina. One thing she’d always puzzled over as a woman was why God had placed the two orifices so close together. It was almost like He had intended for it to be used in the same way the vagina was used.
While Steve and other boyfriends she’d had in high school had begged to put their penises in her ass, Cliff was set apart in that he wasn’t even asking let alone begging. Mentally the thought of how big his cock was made her shudder and let go of the cheeks of her bottom and look away from the mirror.
The sudden tension of what it would be like to have Haynes thrusting hard within such a tight place was argued against by the fact that she was suddenly damp between her thighs. What did her body know that she didn’t?
The teacher side of her rose up and she made the decision right there and then that research was needed. Maybe, just maybe, she did have something she could give her husband.
On the other hand, while being a virgin and bleeding from your first time was to be expected from vaginal entry, bleeding from your bottom was entirely a different matter. She’d had one girlfriend who had sworn by the fact that it was one of the most pleasurable things she’d ever done, but on the other hand, she had listened to the horror stories of others who’d had quite the opposite to say.
Those horror stories aside, Cliff was vastly different than the men who had made her friends scream in agony. On the other hand, at least physically speaking Cliff was simply built bigger than those men had likely been.
That had to count for something, but whether it ruled out everything that at least was worth the effort to find out. Another question however that might nix everything was whether or not he might think it to be a sin.
*********
Mind blown, Arwana locked the door of the school house. As the children had taken their tests today she had been far more occupied with something else, researching the act of giving her last virginity away.
She’d reached the conclusion that it could be done safely and beyond that she knew she was ready to offer it to Cliff. What would he say though? That was the question.
Over the next week she debated over it until the topic of conversation fell by the wayside as she became obsessed with something else. Reading her Bible.
*********
The Sunday service today had been good. She’d had to fight from crying in public and yet she’d left the church in peace. They’d been invited over to the pastor’s house for lunch and she had gone willingly. Surprisingly the talk around the table had revolved on nothing about church or anything spiritual. It had simply been a great conversation.
The time had gone by and at times Arwana had found herself laughing as she completely relaxed with the good people that the pastor and his wife were. Later in the day the pastor and Cliff had wandered off to go fishing with each other.
Arwana had stayed behind with Patricia. She found that she really liked the woman and in a way she came to realize why this woman was so important to Cliff.
She was simply a very good woman and one any child would’ve loved to have had as a mother. There was just something about her that was both peaceful and yet very strong.
In addition to that she was simply easy to talk to. And talking is what they had done for over an hour as they sat on the back porch waiting for the men.
Arwana found herself talking along more and more personal lines with the woman.
“It couldn’t have been easy for you to let Cliff go in order to be mine, was it?”
Patricia looked up from her knitting and smiled, “No, it wasn’t.”
Time passed by for a moment before she added, “But I’m glad I did. It’s always much better to go with God’s will than against it, I can assure you. As unclear as it was to me at the time I now see that it has worked out to be a very good thing for you two to be together. You’re very good for each other. I’m so very happy to see Cliff so happy and relaxed as being with you has made him to be.”
Arwana looked away, feeling embarrassed, “No, actually I haven’t done much. He is just…. well, perfect.”
“Nonsense, dear. No man is perfect, save one and Cliff isn’t the savior of humanity despite whatever you may think of him. Don’t underestimate yourself so much. You’re a very good woman.”
“ I……”
Before Arwana could continue Patricia stated, “You’ve been reading your Bible a lot lately haven’t you?”
“Yes, how did you know?”
“Cliff mentioned it. By now you’ve no doubt read that if you confess your sins and believe in Jesus and what He did for you and how you are under His atoning blood that you are no longer held guilty for all your past misdeeds, am I correct?”
Arwana nodded and then tearing up said, “I confessed my belief in Jesus today at church.”
Patricia smiled warmly, “I know dear. I was watching your face and I saw the exact moment when you became born anew. Arwana, dear, the past is behind you now, it no longer serves as a trial and judge over who you are now.”
“I know that, but it’s hard to forget.”
“Yes, indeed it can be very hard to forgive yourself, but you need to do it. It’s an essential part of the healing process and you really can’t move on to far as long as you hold your past against yourself and believe in part that it dictates to how and what your future will be like. You’re a new creation Arwana. Embrace it. Embrace it as enthusiastically as you do your husband.”
Arwana nodded, as she took all of the wise woman’s words to heart. Inside, she felt both at peace and bubbly at the same time. Getting up suddenly she went over and hugged Patricia.
She couldn’t help herself it was just who she was and she felt so good inside she just had to share. Patricia laughed and hugged her back.
Whispering into Arwana’s ear, she said, “You need to tell him, Honey. He will definitely want to know.”
Arwana nodded and broke off the hug. She sat down beside Patricia and the two sat in companionable silence.
Impulsively Arwana broke the silence by saying, “I wish I’d had a mother like you. Maybe if I had, things would have been different, but that’s in the past, moving on.”
Patricia nodded affirmatively and said nothing as if proud of her young protégé for correcting herself. Something suddenly came to mind and Arwana started to fidget.
Patricia glanced at her, “What is it, dear?”
Arwana looked away and thought about what she wanted to ask. Something one might ask a mother.
Why not?
“I….. I….. um…..”
“Spit it out, child.”
“I want to do something for Cliff, something sexual. I don’t know how he will react though, and well, it’s kind of a taboo thing.” Arwana’s face had flushed three shades of red and studiously she kept her face looking away out over the backyard too embarrassed to look the older woman in the eye.
Patricia’s hand squeezed down overtop of Arwana’s hand and Arwana glanced into Patricia’s knowing kind eyes. Patricia asked, “May I ask what the something in particular is child?”
There was no way out now. In surrender Arwana stuttered to say, “I want to give him my…… my ass.”
Arwana’s face felt like it was in flames now and she started to rise up to walk away, but Patricia’s hand on her shoulder held her firmly sitting down.
“Arwana, look at me honey.”
She did so and found no judgment there of any kind and softly Patricia asked, “Let me guess. You’ve never had a man take you in that way before?”
“No.” Arwana said in a small voice.
Nodding, Patricia then, said, “And you want to give Cliff something no one else before him has ever had.”
Arwana nodded.
“Well, dear, while that is very noble of you, it is entirely a bad idea to do.”
“You mean the act?”
“No, I mean the spirit with which you're proceeding with.”
Arwana blinked, “I don’t understand.”
Patricia looked at her directly and said, “Honey, allow me to be bold for a moment to say, if you’re going to let your husband squeeze his cock into your ass then it had better be because you’re the one that wants it to be in there and not because you’re allowing a past of promiscuity to drive you to offer something that you really don’t want to do. The only thing you’re setting yourself up for there is disappointment and physical pain, as well as, an internal emotional pain if you can’t in fact manage to get him in.”
Arwana looked away profoundly shocked. Never had she expected a preacher’s wife to be so frank.
Softly she said, “I never thought about it like that.”
She glanced up at Patricia and said, “He likes my butt so much and it gave me the idea that it would be really nice to give him something no one else ever had. I….. I guess when it comes down to it, I really don’t care if it hurts me.”
“You should Honey.” Patricia affirmed.
“You don’t think the act itself though is wrong though? It doesn’t seem that you do and that frankly surprises me.” Arwana confessed.
Patricia leaned over and picked up a Bible, which had seen much use, off of a small table. She leafed through it and found the passage she was seeking in the New Testament.
She handed the Bible to Arwana pointing and said, “Read these two verses out loud Honey.”
Arwana did so, “Romans 1:27-28 - And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet. And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;”.
Confused Arwana looked up and said, “It’s saying it's wrong isn’t it?”
“When it’s done between two men it is most definitely wrong Honey, but the same can be said about kissing or even oral sex for that matter. The specific act you’ve mentioned is listed as an abomination by God in Leviticus 22:11.”
“How can you be suggesting it be right for a Christian to do, then?”
“Are you a man, Honey?”
“No.”
“What is being compared in verse 27, Honey?”
“A man using a man sexually as he would a…….. a woman.” Arwana finished with as understanding broke through.
“It’s not talking about a man being in a woman’s vagina. Something that can be done to both women and men is being compared.”
“Exactly, Honey, as what would the context of using a man as one would use a woman mean then since men don’t have vaginas.”
Arwana nodded and exclaimed, “Wow! I didn’t expect this. Was it once common for women to be used by their husbands in this way?”
“Well, the context of the verse would certainly seem to suggest that it was once common practice, as does God’s created purpose for women. We were made for the man. We were made to be his helpmate and his sexual other half. In terms of design you have to ask yourself why the openings are only 2 cm apart and why there are as many pleasure nerves surrounding your anus, Honey, as you have in your vagina. Pleasure is very readily achieved in this act, but actual insertion though of something big can get a bit dicey if done wrong. Arwana I tell you truly that if you do choose to go forward with this that it will be an act that will require complete surrender of yourself to your husband. There is far more involved than simply the physical act of him placing his cock in a new place. For you to accept him requires abject surrender on your part to your mate in order to be taken in such a sensitive and vulnerable part of yourself and allow him free reign to do as he pleases. In a way this surrender of everything convinces me that it is something good to be done between a man and his wife, but only if she’s ready. Personally, I have to say that I have never regretted the day or the many times since then that I have given myself to my husband in this way. To be frankly honest, it has not always been that pleasurable for me, but it has always been a good experience overall. Not sure if that makes sense, but you’ll have to excuse an older woman talking about something she has never shared with anyone before.”
Arwana smiled, “Thank you for sharing. I don’t feel so weird anymore. Or, scared, come to think about it.”
The men were making their way back up the path. Patricia laid her hand on Arwana’s knee and squeezed, “Remember darling, it’s about you wanting it. It doesn’t matter how big he is, if you want it, he’ll slide all the way in and yes, I have had some of the best orgasms of my life when my husband has taken me in this way, but those times usually coincide with when I really wanted it to happen. Got it?”
“Got it.” Arwana affirmed.
The men were close now. Pastor Henry teased, “You two look thick as thieves. What have you been plotting I wonder?”
Arwana couldn’t help it, but blushed profusely on the spot. He was the pastor for goodness sake, and she knew something about him now that no one else in town knew and yet she would take his secret to her grave.
Smoothly Patricia said, “Never you mind dear. How was the fishing?”
“Productive and you, how was talking?”
He teased in return as a comeback glancing between Arwana and his wife.
Arwana glanced to Cliff and straightening up, she said, “Productive.”
Cliff blinked and looked lost for a moment. Meanwhile, Pastor Henry, laughed and ushered Cliff up onto the porch with the statement, “Ahh women, who can ever unravel them.”
“Why, dear that is half the fun isn’t it?” Patricia teased.
“Quite so, my love. Quite so.”