CHAPTER TEN
The Past Revisited
With a start my head lifted up. He was awake!
His hand had been stroking my cheek, but he let it fall to his chest now. With concern I gazed down at him. He was staring up at the ceiling and he was crying. Not loudly, but a steady stream of tears was making their way down his cheeks.
Hovering over his face I looked down into his eyes and whispered, “Are you all right honey?”
The sight of him crying broke my heart. He nodded and lifted his hand to my face. I pressed my cheek into his palm loving the feel of his touch. His hand was warm again. He was still crying.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
He nodded and then said, “Physically anyway. I… I don’t feel so good otherwise. I ….”
He was struggling and I offered leadingly, “Met Jesus?”
“Yes!” He said, nodding forcefully.
I smiled down at him, but still the tears came and the look in his eyes was one of hopeless brokenness. There was something not being said. I wanted to speak, but held back from it.
With hesitation, he finally said, “There’s something I need to tell you.”
I nodded. His eyes closed and with determination, he said, “Years ago I was one of them. One of the killers.”
His eyes opened and they had a question, which I answered by leaning down to rest against his chest so I could more comfortably listen to him. Questions were everywhere within his gaze and leaning forward I kissed his lips wetly.
Pulling back slightly I gazed once more into his hurting eyes and said, “Baby, I’m not going anywhere so stop going wherever your mind is leading you, because I ain’t leaving you Baby.” I said in my best southern drawl.
He visibly relaxed and I speared my fingers into his hair and combed through it repeatedly, “Honey, I’m here if you want to talk about it, but truly all I care about is the man you are now.”
“I see that. It’s hard to believe, but God truly gave me the best gift in life when He put your irresistibly beautiful self in front of me.”
Smiling, I said softly, “You always catch more flies with honey, don’t you know.”
There was a long moment of silence and then he said, “When the EMP event happened I was one of those who rounded people like you up and put them in the death camps, but even before that happened I was on a special squad. We were tasked with eliminating people before the event occurred who were of a preparedness mindset, along with people who were known leaders, especially ex-military.”
I chimed in softly, “The EMP strike was staged?”
“Yes, 100%. The ruling class of this world wholesale slaughtered the population of most developed nations. Things didn’t go off exactly as planned everywhere, but in my own way I played a part in the death of millions if not billions.”
He stared at me as I remained silent, still stroking his hair and then he burst out with, “Does nothing of what I’m saying appall you?”
I shrugged, “You were once a wicked man Wyatt. I told you my story.”
“I’ve personally killed dozens of harmless good people Tamara!”
I nodded my head and softly said, “Yes, I wish you hadn’t done that. There’s no going back and fixing it though Wyatt. All we are is what we are at the moment. I thank God that he doesn’t look at me as I once was, as the way that I’ll always be. I’ve been forgiven. So have you. Now stop trying to scare me away.”
“I just want to be honest with you. You’ve come to mean everything to me and the thought of losing you is an unbearable one.”
Now it was my eyes dripping with moisture as I listened to him talk.
“As I lay there in the mud dying God spoke to me. He said, ‘What’s it going to take Wyatt?’ I told Him I wanted to see you one last time and He made it happen. I believe now everything that was ever told to me about Him by my mother. I just couldn’t believe that not only could He forgive me for what I’ve done, but that somehow you could too. I could have easily been one of the guards mistreating you Tamara.”
I shook my head, “No, not even close. You didn’t stay where you were Wyatt. Tell me how many of them did you kill during this time that you’ve been out on your own trying to make up for the bad things that you’ve done in the past?”
He turned his head away, but I turned it back and staring into his eyes I said, “You are a good man. And I for one am committed to telling you that over and over until you finally believe it. It’s time to put the past behind you and focus on the new life before you that you now have because of what Jesus did for you. He sacrificed Himself for all of us wicked sinners. It doesn’t matter the crime. We were all guilty one way or another. All sin separates us from God, but your redeemed now Wyatt. Honey, you’ve asked for forgiveness right?”
He nodded.
“Well, now you need to forgive yourself.”
He nodded and growling I said good-naturedly, “Do it!”
I watched him do it then and I saw it reflected in his eyes. Leaning forward I kissed him. His hands came up and held me even as my hands held his lips to me. Finally, I broke away enough to have the space to say, “So that there is no doubt ever in your soul Wyatt I want you to know that I forgive you for the things you did in the past. Okay?”
He nodded emotionally and smiling tenderly I eased up from off his chest. I let one hand slide down the expanse of his hard stomach and moving back further, I used it to open his pants along with help from my other hand.
“Now darling, I want to celebrate the miracle that has seen us both restored to life and put back here in our little sanctuary from the crazy world outside.”
He had a look of wonder on his face and with the intent to hear him cry out with pleasure and with the zest of living I leaned down to what my hands had exposed. He was still flaccid. Purring out in as sensual a tone as I felt myself to be in I said, “Okay big boy. Therapy is over. Mama wants to play.”
He chuckled and his one hand curved over the growing mound of my stomach as I kneeled off to the side of him. I took the head of his cock into my mouth and with pleasure felt it come alive. Wetly I licked it to full strength and squeezed my hand around the thick, turgid length of my man’s desire for me.
I gave the tip of his shaft a wet kiss and licked away the bead of precum that had bubbled to the surface. I let go of him then and stood up.
Quickly I stripped myself free of everything and once free of clothing I stepped astraddle of him and came down to my knees over top of him. With a hand to his shaft I directed him into my sheath and with a groan I sank down wetly upon him until he filled the whole of me.
Dreamily I opened my eyes to look down at him and whisper, “You’re such a stud.” He pulsed larger within me in response and grinning sensually at the power I had to influence him I rode him with pleasure.
His hands rose and found my breasts. They were so much fuller now and with relish and my pleasure induced haze of ecstasy I took in the adoring fascination within his gaze as he played with them.
I leaned forward and he captured one of my nipples and suckled. I moaned at the intenseness of the sensation and even though it bordered on pain I held steady for his lips.
“Not too much longer Honey and you’re going to have to share those.” I breathed out with as I rose and fell down upon him in an endless back-and-forth slide of pleasure.
He growled and I laughed. He bucked upward into me then and I came in a fit of moans and pleas for more. He kept surging upward into me lifting my whole body, even as a hand pressing on my lower back held me tight to his invasion.
In complete surrender I moaned with pleasure as I felt him explode inside me. Our orgasms ran the course of each other’s and weary of pleasure I slid off of him and snuggled into his side. His arm was about me and I slept in the peace that was all about me in our little haven even as the world continued to go through hell outside.