“Dylan, bum a smoke.”
“No, man, I quit.”
“What, again?” Marco half whined, like Id made the decision just to inconvenience him. “Hey, Marco, I gotcha.” Jeff took a last drag and passed his cigarette to Marco before reaching into
his jacket for another.
“God damn, when is this rain ever going to stop?” I turned up my collar when a drop rolled off the
slight overhang and snaked its way down my neck. I pressed my back against the wall with the other
guys and kept my eyes open for Assistant Principle Sims.
“When it snows. So what is it now? Its a little late to start a college fund.” There was something
about Marco. Everything needed an explanation with him, even something as simple as me giving up
cigarettes for the umpteenth time.
I’m starting a getaway fund in case they come for me next. “Im savin up for an ark.” “Oh, well thatll work for you. The world covered in water and its just you and a boatload of
sheep,” Jeff snarked.
“Jealous much?”
Marco snorted, ready to let it go, and Eric said, to no one in particular, “Bet Krista wishes shed
prepared for a rainy day.”
Eric was often the quiet one, and maybe it was all that observation he did that made him seem too
damned perceptive sometimes.
“That freak bitch. I knew there was something off about her.”
Yeah, Marco, you knew it from the first time she told you no. “Would you give it a rest?” “Whats with you?” Marco snapped.
“Whats with you?” I shot back. “Im just tired of your bullshit, thats all.”
“Youre always like this when they take someone,” Jeff complained.
I looked across Marco to where Jeff was avoiding eye contact with me. “Like what?” “I dont know. All, like, morose and shit. Get over it.”
“Aw, leave him alone,” Marco said, clapping a hand on my shoulder and giving it a shake. It
looked like a friendly gesture from the outside, but it was only the extraordinary strength of Marcos
grip on my shoulder that kept me from falling over. Fortunately, I had learned to tuck my chin to my
chest to avoid having the back of my head crack againstthe wall behind me. “You know hes been
trying that sensitivity thing. Hows that workin for you?”
“Obviously he has to beat the chicks back with a stick,” Jeff sneered.
“The bells gonna ring.” And save me from you idiots I call my friends, I thought as I pushed away
from the wall and headed for the fire door wed propped open.
“Yo, wait up,” Marco said, catching my arm, propelling me ahead and away from the other guys.
“Ive got an idea about this weekend. Well talk about it later.”
My stomach clenched. This was exactly the conversation I wanted to avoid and really couldnt put
off much longer. Marco and his expectations were going to land me in jail. Or worse. “This weekend?
You really think thats a good idea? I mean what with Krista and all?”
“Yeah, maybe youre right. Damn, I could use the cash. Thats ok, though, because Ive got
something else coming up. Something big.” He clapped me on the shoulder again and this time there
was no show of strength, just the connection. “What would I do without you, buddy? Youre always
thinkin. Always got my back.”
* * *
How bad does it have to get before I can call it the worst day ever?
First Krista, then freakin Dobbs, and then Mr. Hanson. Hed cornered me after Chem to talk to me about my lousy performance on the latest test. My dad was going to have a fit about that. Bad grades, like outstanding grades, draw attention. A solid B average is the thing to aim for. Anyway, the impromptu summary of the covalent-whatever deal—which I still didnt get—had delayed me in my usual pre-lunch routine, and gotten me nabbed by a hall monitor. Do Not Pass Go, do not sneak up to your usual hideout, go directly to the Fifth Circle of Hell, otherwise known as the cafeteria.
Its not like Id never been to the cafeteria before. I used to have to eat there when I was a freshman, for a few very long months, anyway, before I figured out how to avoid it. I remembered now that the best caf strategy was to take your lunch with you to the class before so you could race down there, as inconspicuously as possible, and claim an empty table. It was ok for later arrivals to sit at your table, which they might do, crowding together on the opposite side like you have a disease, but whatever. As long as you got there first, you didnt have to ask to sit at anyone elses table—and risk being told no, because whats more humiliating than that? Sometimes people would just take all the chairs from your table and carry them off to other tables, and thats sort of embarrassing too, but not as bad if you dont let it get to you and remind yourself that lunching alone is a valid lifestyle choice. On the whole, though, the cafeteria is a bad scene and to be avoided whenever possible.
So there I was, standing in the doorway, taking a quick scan of the room and scoping things out. I still had a notebook and textbook for Chem, so I moved them to carry them under my arm. Because you cant be holding books in front of you like a shield. Its way girly and makes people think youre scared. Posturing is very important in the wild; watch a few documentaries, youll see.
I couldnt spend too much time hovering, because that was only going to draw attention, so I just plunged in and hoped for the best. The caf was friggin chaos as usual. I th ink I have a low tolerance for chaos. I kept scanning, knowing that I wasnt going to find an empty table, but hoped maybe Id see an empty space near someone I was at least on speaking terms with, and could come up with some burning question I had to ask.Its hard to look around for such a specific situation while still trying to avoid eye contact, let me tell you.
And then I saw it. There were two chairs just standing there in the corner against the wall. One was pushed all the way into the corner and facing out into the room, the other facing the corner. I could sit with my back to the room, put my boots up on the one in the corner, prop my textbook up on my knees, and pretend like I just had to absorb some chemistry knowledge. Perfect.
Except for the fact that I had to pass Marcos table, and I was so excited about the chairs that I didnt even notice him until my books flew out from under my arm and hit the floor. I think I knew what happened before I even saw him. Some kind of prey recognizes predator right before it gets eaten kind of thing.
“Oops,” he said, in that obnoxious, I so meant to do that way.
I had to squat down to pick up the books, because of course papers went flying out of my notebook when it landed. Thankfully they didnt go far and I didnt actually have to go crawling under tables for them.
“Sorry about that, Joss.”
“Sure.”
“Surprised to see you here.”
I didnt answer. I had some answers in my head; it just seemed better to keep my mouth shut and move on.
“You never come here for lunch. Are you meeting your girlfriend? Why dont you bring her over? Jeff, get a couple chairs for Joss and her new girlfriend.”
See, this is a thing between Marco and me, and its really unpleasant. When we were freshmen, I guess he had this thing for me, because he asked me to the Homecoming dance. And he kept bugging me to go out with him for like a week or something until I finally had to get nasty with him so hed leave me alone. Not like insulting his masculinity nasty, just, you know, theI don’t like you truth of it. I dont know why we have to think that telling the truth is being mean, but sometimes Im powerless against my socialization, what can I tell you? Anyway, ever since then, hed been on this You must be a lesbian thing, because I guess thats the only way it made sense for him that I wouldnt just fall at his feet. Mostly I just avoided him.
Which is what I tried to do at that point by standing up with my books and taking a step away from the table, except that he caught my arm.
“Let me go, Marco.”
“Or what, youll get your girlfriend over here to kick my ass?”
Jeff chuckled at that, and I knew that would only make Marco feel like he had an audience so hed be more into hassling me. I couldnt help but glance over at Dylan. Because Im an idiot. He was at the other end of the table with Eric. They had their noses stuck in a car magazine and didnt seem to notice what was going on.
I think Marco noticed because his eyes narrowed at me, and my stomach rolled. Marco can be really mean, and whats more, hes not that typical big, stupid bully as seen on TV. Hes smart enough to come up with the kind of stuff that really hurts. Stuff that sticks forever.
“Joss, where have you been? Come on. Lunch is half over.”
What the…? I turned my head—Marco still had my arm—and Kat was standing there. I wouldnt even say I had a speaking relationship with Kat. Shed said “hi” to me last month, and one time in the locker room shed asked to borrow lotion from me which of course I didnt have. She was new to Fairview High this year, and I had to wonder what she was doing, and if she realized how stupid it was to get on Marcos bad side.
“Kat? You and Kat?”
“She and Katneed to study for Chem,” Kat said in her sassy way, with a quick glance at my books. “Because I just dont get it. So…if youd just turn her loose, Id sure appreciate it.”
Kat is pretty. Theres just no other way to see it. Shes got this gorgeous café au lait skin, light green eyes, and lots of dark brown curls. When she turned that pretty smile on Marco, I felt his grip go slack.
Then I, being an idiot as I might have mentioned, glanced at Dylan again, to see if hed noticed Kats smile. Which he had, and was now paying attention to the drama. I wondered how many more people were, now that Kat was there.
“Chemistry. Ill bet theres some chemistry goin on there. Id like to see some of that action. Maybe the three of us—”
“Marco, honey, Im gonna have to wreck your fantasy and tell you that not only are Joss and I not involved with each other, and not only are we both straight—which youd think any straight guy would realize—but I would do her and half the guys at this table before I would even let you watch me change my shoes.”
Eric opened his mouth to say something but Kat immediately cut him off, “No, Eric. Youre in the other half.” But I have to say that the smile she threw him made me think maybe that wasnt true.
While they all sat there digesting that, Kat gave me a tug that almost spilled my books again. Before I knew what was happening, I foundmyself pushed into a chair at Kats table which was full of girls whose names and faces Id known for years. But Id never spoken more than a few words to any of them. They were all looking from me to Kat and back again.
“You guys all know Joss, right?”
There were another few awkward moments as the girls muttered and nodded. Then they sort of shrugged and turned back to each other and whatever theyd been talking about before. Backs on either end of the circle turned away from Kat and me, leaving us relatively alone.
“You know that was stupid, right?” I said in a low voice. “Trust me, you do not want to get on Marcos bad side.”
“Well hey, youre welcome.”
“Yeah, thanks. Im sure Marco will totally lay off now that you diffused that situation so brilliantly.”
“Wow. Ive been wondering if youre really the ice bitch everyone says you are.”
“Yeah, well, now you know.” I started to get up, but Kat put a hand on my arm.
“Im not sure I do...”
Two of the girls switched seats and Heather pulled her chair up alongside Kats. Heather was petite and adorable, and just needed a few feathers and fringes to make her look like a Native American princess figurine in a gift shop. I wondered again why I was still there.
“So what was that about? Marco being Marco?”
“Yeah, he seems especially fond of Joss, here.”
Heather made a sound in the back of her throat. “I hate that guy.”
She looked across at me, an intense look that made me feel like she was seeing too much. I dropped my eyes. “Yeah, me too.”
Kats next remark about Marcos attitude, anatomy, and possible parentage made Heather laugh out loud and even I had to smile.
On possibly the worst day ever, Jocelyn Marshall was sitting in the cafeteria talking to two other girls.
Smiling.
And violations of the Laws of the Universe were just getting started.