Chapter 8
Tina studied Jeff Holloway.
He was tall and handsome, with a squared jaw, high cheekbones, and short, dark brown hair. His leather shoes matched the color of his hair. The mix of black khaki pants and aqua blue sweater was calming. Kind blue eyes gave the impression he would understand. Perhaps he could help her get rid of the monster. He was supposed to help. Maybe he could. Maybe he had already helped other girls like herself.
He asked, “So what is it about the dark that’s so scary?”
“You know …”
“Tell me.”
“Well, sometimes I hear things.”
“What?”
Tina’s eyes dropped to her black high-top sneakers, then to her gray jeans, then lifted back to his eyes. She swallowed, hoping to be believed, hoping he wouldn’t say she was crazy and lock her in a mental institution for years in a dark, cold, padded room. The shadow would surely torture and kill her there. She barely whispered, “A shadow creature.”
“And what does this creature want?” he asked without hesitation. Perhaps he believed her.
“I think it wants to hurt me.”
“When did your mother die, Tina?”
“About a year ago.”
“That must have been difficult.”
“Yes.”
“Did the monster start appearing then?”
“I’m not crazy.”
“No. Of course not. It’s just …” He paused for a bit, appearing to think. “Why would a monster want to hurt you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Take a guess.”
“I wish I knew. I don’t want it around.”
“If I turn out the light now, will it come?”
Her heart began to pound. She felt like a pathetic, scardy-cat little girl. “I don’t know.”
“With your permission, can I turn out the light?”
“No,” she said weakly.
He smiled, appearing so calm. His voice was confident and strong, reassuring her. “It’s good to face your fears, in order to conquer them.”
Although his composure soothed her, she didn’t say anything.
“How about if we bring your father in, too?”
She hesitated. She wondered what Dad would think about her not even being courageous enough to do therapy alone. But she hardly knew Jeff, and it would be too scary to face the dark without her father. “Okay.”
He made a phone call to the secretary out front, and within a minute, her father knocked on the door, and Jeff let him in.
Dad squeezed into one of the seats beside her, his sides spilling over the low armrests.
“We’re going to help Tina face her fear today, Charlie. We’ll use a technique called systematic desensitization, where gradual exposure to the feared situation is used.”
Dad looked tired, not scared.
Despite Jeff’s relaxed presence, she began to feel the small room didn’t have enough oxygen for all the breathing she was doing. There were no windows. She wanted to run into the sunlight outside and soak up the safe, warm rays. The room seemed to be shrinking as he stood and walked to the light switch.
Instead of flipping it, he engaged a lock on the door. “No creature can get in here unless it can go through the regular lock and the dead-bolt.” He walked back to Tina. “First, I’ll take a reading of your resting pulse for a baseline measure.” He took her right wrist and held it for ten seconds, and then wrote 84 on a pad of paper.
“Everyone ready? Now we’ll all be here for you, Tina. We’re not going anywhere. You’ll be able to talk with us, and with just one word, I’ll flip the switch back on.”
She nodded.
“But go as long as you can stand without the light. Is that okay?”
She didn’t know how to answer. It didn’t feel okay, but she understood how he was trying to help. Maybe the monster didn’t have the power to come out during the day. Besides, it wouldn’t risk being seen by Dad and Jeff. “I guess.”
He flicked the switch and the room went pitch dark. She didn’t expect it to be this dark. The air around her seemed to grow cold. She was imagining it, of course, but it was frightful anyways. “Okay.”
The light flickered back on, revealing Dad and Jeff, and she breathed. Dad’s eyelids looked heavy.
“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Jeff’s voice was kind and confident.
“No,” she answered in a small voice.
He took her wrist and counted her heartbeats for ten seconds and wrote 96 just below the 84 on the pad. “It helps to have control over the dark like I gave you. Would you like to try a bit longer? I think we had the lights out for ten seconds that time.”
“Okay,” she said, feeling her speeding heart skip a beat. She wasn’t pleased about doing this longer. Why would he have the monster come if he believed her and thought it was real? He didn’t have any weapons except for the light switch, if that were even a weapon.
The room disappeared as he flicked the switch again.
The air didn’t seem as cold as before. Although she didn’t see Jeff and Dad, she knew they were close. She knew they were only a flick of the switch away.
But it grew uncomfortable quickly. “Okay. Light.”
The lights flickered back on. Jeff was smiling. “Good job, Tina. That was about half a minute. How did it feel?”
“Okay.” It did feel kind of good to have both their support and the ability to control the dark with just her voice.
He took her wrist and counted her heartbeats. He wrote down 84 on the pad. “You seem to have less of a fear response.”
“Really?” Maybe this systematic desensitization would work. Maybe the monster comes out because it smells fear, and it wouldn’t come if she wasn’t afraid.
He said, “Let’s try again.”
“How many times are we going to do this?”
“Let’s shoot for five minutes today. Would that be alright?”
“I guess,” she said, not sure whether that was a good idea. Five minutes was long enough for the monster to come out of its hiding place. Each time, it got braver. Maybe its next appearance would be an attack.