Jeff
“Dad? I think I need, um, sperm…control.”
The words threw Jeffrey Brighton’s life out of control. A heat waved rushed over his body like a tsunami and turned his cheeks bright red. His hands and feet went numb, and he was temporarily lost for words. Inside his mind, he shouted, Fuck! Be a fucking nightmare! Please let me wake up from this nightmare! Please!
It was the first time one of his sons required sperm control. Ricky was fifteen and not sexually active. Or so Jeff thought. He was a good looking kid. Resembled his father. Both had short black hair, olive complexions, perfect facial features, and athletically built. Once he took a few deep breaths and got over the initial shock, he realized Ricky was only being smart in asking for sperm control. Currently, Jeff was a happy househusband and adored the role. In fact, he preferred his wife to work while he took care of the kids. When he was a child, he saw a movie about a man who cared for the entire family, from cooking to cleaning. The movie centered on his day as the one who stayed at home, taking care of his wife and children. The notion of it left him wonderstruck. He became enraptured with the idea of staying at home during the day to make the house perfect for his loved ones. Through cooking classes and various other home economics courses, he learned how to run a home like a well-oiled ship. He was meant to be a husband and a dad, but he never expected the problems that came with teenagers.
“Dad? Did you hear me?” asked Ricky in a smaller voice.
On the second floor of their dilapidated townhouse, three of Jeff’s four children fought over a videogame controller. Collene was thirteen, Mikey was ten, and little Cassidy was six. Mikey refused to relinquish the controller to Cassidy. In response, Cassidy hit him. There were plenty of controllers to go around and Jeff felt seriously pissed off at his kids for fighting over the stupidest things. They were too old to fight. His brown eyes rolled backwards with frustration as he struggled to listen to his fifteen-year-old son.
“What the fuck did you just say?” he asked as his eyes widened with shock.
“I said I need sperm control.”
His knees buckled underneath him and dread washed over his body. He sat down hard on a chair matching the breakfast nook. “Wha…please tell me this is a joke.”
“Come on, dad. Don’t freak out on me,” he begged. “You said I could always come to you if I needed help”
“Ricky, you told me you weren’t having sex with Corrine.”
“Oh, I’m not!” he said with wide eyes and shook his head. “I promise. It’s not for sex.”
“Then what’s it for?”
Ricky looked down in embarrassment and said, “Well, um, I, um…”
“It’s okay, Ricky. You can tell me.”
“I have…leakage in the morning.”
“Oh,” he shook his head with understanding. Upstairs, the kids continued to fight over the controller. It irritated him to the point where he shouted up the stairs, “Okay guys, listen up! First off, stop fighting! I can’t take the screaming. Second off, separate. I want everyone to go into their rooms and cool off. And no video games!”
The door opened upstairs. Collene, Cassidy, and Mikey separated from each other as Jeff instructed. He heard their footsteps, whispered words of malice, but the doors were slammed shut. When he was satisfied his children were separated, he turned back to Ricky. The young man really was identical to Jeff in his youth. At one time, Jeff was once considered a hot guy with tight abs, muscled arms, and killer smile. Now, he was a thirty-three-year-old guy who felt and looked like he was in his last stage in life. His abs were no longer tight, he had arm fat, and his smile turned yellow from all the years of smoking cigarettes. Unfortunately, Jeff turned into one of those parents who live vicariously through their children.
“How long has this been happening?” he asked with a lower tone.
“Almost two weeks.”
“Two weeks!” Jeff exclaimed and immediately regretted his reaction. In a calmer voice, he said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to shout. I was surprised, but now I’m not. So…why didn’t you tell me this before? It’s nothing to be ashamed of, you know? It’s natural and happens to every guy.”
“I know, but the girls make fun of the guys all the time about it. I don’t want anyone to know.”
“Rick, we’ve talked about this. When sperm starts leaking out, we have to find you a guynocologist. This has to be reported. I’ll take you to get the sperm control, but you can’t wait on stuff like this.”
“Um, okay. I guess.”
“My guynocologist in Mark Steadman. I’ve been with him since I was twenty. I’ll make an appointment for you.”
“You will?” Ricky asked with surprise.
“Yeah, but I don’t want you to use it as an excuse to have sex. Do you understand me, son? If things get serious between you and Corrine, I want you to tell me. I won’t be mad, as long as you tell me the truth.”
“I promise, dad. Besides, I don’t wanna have sex.”
“Yeah, that’s what they all say.” Jeff sneered.
“No, dad, I’m serious. I remember our talks about how hard it is being a parent. No offense to you or mom, but I don’t want that for myself. I want to graduate high school and get the hell out of this city.” he chuckled.
“What’s wrong with New York? I thought you loved it here?”
“I do, just not the kids I go to school with. They don’t really like me. And I don’t really like them. Can’t wait to get out of high school.”
“I know it sucks, but high school will end, I promise. I don’t envy you in that aspect. I hated high school. Like being locked inside a prison. I hope it hasn’t swayed you from college.”
“No. I’m actually looking forward to that.”
“Good. Then, I’ll make the appointment for the sperm control. Just remember to talk to me. Alright?”
“Okay.”
“Is our awkward conversation finished?” Jeff chuckled.
Ricky seemed to relax when he made the joke. “I hope so. Um, you’re not going to tell mom, are you?”
“I have to. Her insurance is gonna pay for the pills. Besides, she’s your mom. I think she’ll want to know.”
“That’s what I was afraid of.” he said and ran up the stairs.
It was a shame the day was still young. If it were bedtime, the house would be silent. During the day, the kids were up, usually around the house or in need to be taken somewhere, and Sandie wasn’t there to watch them. So he sat on the couch and waited for his wife of fifteen years, Sandie, short for Cassandra, to come home. Long ago, they were high school sweethearts living a hot and heavy teenage relationship until he impregnated Sandie right after her seventeenth birthday. Back then, teenagers were forced to marry if a girl became pregnant, which Jeff and Sandie did, however, they were in love and didn’t need anyone to tell them to get married. True Love. It was the glue keeping their relationship together, and as the years went on, they needed as much glue as they could muster. After Ricky was born, Sandie went on to get her real estate license and earned enough money to support the family. As each child was born, it became tough for them to maintain financial stability. Student loans, rent, bills, and saving for their retirement kept the family living paycheck to paycheck. His biggest regret was not having the money to create a college fund for their kids.
Their townhouse was cramped, old, and located in a less than desirable section of the city, but the neighborhood was decent and the rent was cheap. It was two stories with four bedrooms and two bathrooms. Jeff and Sandie’s bedroom was on the main level, behind the kitchen, and the children slept in the rooms upstairs. When Cassidy turned four, Jeff demanded the girls share a room so he could have the last bedroom as an office. Sandie supported his decision, agreeing he needed his own space since he took care of the kids round the clock. The room became his sanctuary despite the noisy neighbors bordering both sides of the house. A young college student with a techo band lived on the left side, however, they didn’t play typical techo music. They played one-bit music which was a compilation of computer dings and pings made to music. Then there was the loud newlywed couple that lived to the right.
When Sandie came home, she dismissed her husband with a wave of her newly manicured hand. She didn’t care if he was visibly upset. Her arms were loaded with packages from her shopping trip. She sauntered into their twelve hundred square foot house, right into the kitchen.
“Oh, not now, Jeff. I’m in a good mood.”
“I can see that. Enjoy spending the grocery money?”
“Ha ha.” she replied with a deadpan tone.
“I need to talk to you about something important.” he said and grabbed a bottle of cold beer.
She placed the bags on top of the empty kitchen counter and looked at her husband with dismay. “Whatever it is can wait.”
“Ricky asked me to get him sperm control.” he blurted out.
She turned around slowly to face him. “What did you say?”
He raised his bottle into the air as if he were giving a toast. “Our fifteen-year-old son’s sperm is becoming uncontrollable for him. And by law, he’s required to get it under control. Because, you know, every seed is precious.”
Sandie shook her head with disgust. Her eyes widened and her tongue hung out of her mouth as she moved her head. She looked like a choking alien. He couldn’t help but giggle at the expression on her face. She snapped at him. “You think this is funny, do you?”
He shook his head, but continued to giggle. He made up a lie because he didn’t want to admit to his wife he was indeed laughing at her. The secret to their relationship was knowing when to fight and when to fold. He folded. “No, baby. I don’t think this is funny. I laugh because I’m glad it’s not me in this situation, again. I feel bad for the kid. He’s got the rest of his life to worry about this. Since women outlawed masturbation, it’s tough being a guy in puberty. Just think about it, if a guy masturbates, aside from his allotted time, then it’s considered abortion. At this point, I’m glad I’m fixed.”
“Your point?” she waved her hand at him.
“It’s tough being a guy in a world ruled by women. I mean, I married you because I truly love you, not because we were forced to. You know?”
“That’s nice of you to say.” she whispered as she stared out the kitchen window.
“What?” he took a sip of beer.
“You said that you married me because you truly loved me. That was nice of you to say. It made my heart tingle.” she giggled as she folded her hand over her chest.
“Well, I meant it. I never wanted to live another day without you when we found out you were pregnant. I love you Sandie.” He felt her passion for him stir and pulled his wife close for a kiss, but was distracted when he heard his youngest daughter, Cassidy, called for him. He stopped right before he reached her lips. The expression of annoyance was clear as a glass window pane on her face.
“Goddess! What does she want?” Sandie sighed with frustration.
“I don’t know, but parenting calls.” he chuckled and pulled away.
He left the kitchen, rounded the corner, walked down the hallway to the front door, and went up the stairs to his daughter’s room. He left Sandie behind to do her thing, which she normally did while Jeff took care of the children. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Collene told me to shut up!” Cassidy wailed. “Then she pushed me aside. She hurt me!”
He gathered his small daughter into his arms. “It’s alright, baby. Collene!”
“What?” Shouts came from the room at the end of the hallway, behind the door leading into the bathroom.
“Get out here!” he shouted.
She threw her door open in exasperation. “What?”
“Did you hit your sister?”
“Well, she wouldn’t move out of my way!” Collene tried to defend herself.
“Oh, my Goddess, Collene. She’s six years old! Apologize to your sister.” he instructed.
“Fine,” she snapped and looked at Cassidy in a mocking way. “I’m sorry. There. Happy now?”
She slammed the door shut on them. The room across the hall from the girls belonged to Mikey and Ricky. They had the door open, watching the scene in front of them as if it were an entertaining movie. All they needed was popcorn. Their expression of amusement mixed with amazement resembled Jeff’s expression. The boys didn’t understand Collene’s moodiness and drama. If her fingernail broke before school started, it was a colossal problem.
He wondered what was going on behind her closed door. It felt like he lived with the little possessed girl in a movie he watched. This was his life, and for better or worse, he loved every second of it.